Your Plus One
by writersjoint
Summary: Beca and Chloe had always been close, inseparable even. Until one day. Now Beca knows Chloe doesn't love her. And she never will. Beca's just happy to be Chloe's occasional plus one.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, so this fic is loosely based off a song called You Don't Need To Love Me from a musical called If/Then. You might know it or you might not, but you should listen to it to get a vibe of the story. And it's not based of the musical at all, just solely the song and what the message is. I changed things around so it would be different than the musical, but the song still kind of goes with this. Just wanted to make it clear.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 - New York City <strong>

New York City. What's not to love? The hustle and bustle. The towering buildings that make you feel so small, yet; you can't help but adore the feeling of being overpowered by these objects. This beautiful city can tear you down time after time, but really, you love everything about it.

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><p>Beca was walking down the busy streets of the West Village. She knew it like the back of her hand. Beca's lived in the city her whole life and she would never want to live anywhere else. She's a popular night club owner with her best-friend, Jesse. Beca had always had a certain passion for music ever since she was young. She grew to love Deejaying and mixing songs more than anything. Mostly for a special someone. It's a great stress relief for her, personally. She would DJ every once in awhile at her club or private parties, but over the years she seldom found her self having the desire to mix her own songs.<p>

After losing the love of your life, it's hard to find the spark in what you loved. The memories of the great things you did together and the feelings you get while doing what you once loved. All the linked memories. Gone.

Suddenly, as she was strolling down the street her phone started to ring and she had to rummage for it in her bag. "I really need to remember which pocket I put this piece of crap in." Beca mumbled. Once she finally found it she picked up right away, not noticing it was an unknown number.

"Hello?" Beca said, slightly irritated.

"Hi." A small voice said. "Is this Beca?"

Beca stopped dead in her tracks with wide eyes and an open mouth, which earned a few groans and, "keep walkings." from the other walkers.

She had a blank expression on her face. _I know that voice._ "Who is this?" Beca asked.

"It's Chloe."

"Chloe?" Beca said hesitantly.

"Yeah, it's me." Chloe said, also slightly hesitant.

Beca started to walk again. "We haven't talked in almost five years," She said quietly. "How do you even have my number?"

"I know," Chloe sheepishly said. "I'm sorry."

"So, how did you get my number?" Beca asked again.

"I talked to your friend Aubrey and got it. If you remember Stacie, I mean, of course you do. Shes your friend, too. Still is. They know each other, and now Aubrey dates Jesse apparently."

Beca laughed slightly. "I know who my friends are and what the situation is."

"Oh, I know. And you would also know Stacie and Aubrey are friends as well and I got Aubrey's number from her. But, thats beside my point." Chloe said.

"Right." Beca simply said.

"All that's behind us and I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving back to the city."

Beca's eyes closed momentarily and she tried to keep the joyous screech from leaving her lips. "When?" She decided on.

"Next week. Friday actually is when I'll be settled. I was hoping we could... get together? We were best-friends our whole lives and it's terrible that we haven't spoken in so long. I mean, I know this is really all my fault and I probably shouldn't even be talking to you, but-"

Beca cut her off, "You're rambling. I guess that hasn't changed much." Beca said with a smirk.

Chloe laughed lightly. She could hear the evident smirk in Beca's soft voice. "I really miss you, Becs." Chloe said genuinely.

Beca kept walking and had no idea what to say. She missed Chloe. Oh God, how she's missed Chloe. She can't even begin to count the sleepless nights shes had thinking about nothing but Chloe. But things happened and feelings were hurt. Even though Chloe wasn't the one to ignore her and break all connections, she was the one who packed up and left without a real rhyme or reason. But maybe Chloe's right? That's behind them.

"I really miss you too, Chlo. You have no idea." Beca said quietly with a grin etched on her face.

"Well, I'll call you next week when I'm settled and we can get together?" Chloe asked hopeful.

Beca reached her destination at her usual coffee shop and smiled to herself. "Yeah, I'd love that." She said and walked in.

"Good. Oh, and it's really nice to here your voice. I've missed it." Chloe said and hung up.

Beca was grinning like the Cheshire Cat as she walked up to a table Jesse and his girlfriend Aubrey were occupying.

"What's got you smiling, midget?" Aubrey asked.

"Chloe's moving back to the city!" Beca squealed. "Next week!" Beca added as she sat down. "I can't believe it! I've missed her so much!"

Beca never squealed, so Aubrey and Jesse broke out into laughter.

After calming down a bit Jesse said, "Chloe? The Chloe you and I have known for almost our whole lives? How did she get your number?"

Aubrey ducked her head slightly as Beca motioned to her.

"You gave Chloe Beca's number?" Jesse asked, with a slight snark in his voice.

Aubrey nodded. "At first I didn't. She basically begged me. I could hear the pout in her voice. She explained how close her and Beca were, and that she needed to speak to her."

Jesse scoffed and looked back to Beca's smiling face. "Why are you so happy? If the love of my life was coming back to town after what she did to you, I would be furious that she called me. She's the one who practically broke your heart. She ripped it out and stomped on it without a care in the word."

"I know." Beca sighed. "But I haven't talked to her since she left. And it's just great to know she is going to be back. I mean, she was my best-friend for sixteen years." Beca stated.

"Still. She fucked you over." Jesse said.

"Not necessarily." Aubrey interjected. "Chloe never knew the way you felt about her from what I've heard."

Aubrey and Jesse met and started dating about three years ago. A long time friend of Jesse and Beca's, Stacie, had known Aubrey from college and introduced Jesse and Aubrey. Beca being best-friends with Jesse became friends with Aubrey. It was a slow and painful process, but they each can say they're best-friends now. Although, Aubrey hasn't met Chloe, the only thing she knows about the mysterious red head is that Beca was head over heels in love with her, and basically still is.

"Well-" Jesse laughed. "Anyone could've seen that Chloe and Beca were in love. They did everything together since they were four. I can't even count the number of times they were mistaken for a couple or for being called cute together. In high school, everyone thought they would be together in the long run. They looked like love sick puppies half the time. And then five years ago when Chloe ran away with her "boyfriend" it went down hill." Jesse said coldy. "I swear, Chloe is the biggest bitch."

"Hey, she is not!" Beca retorted.

"You still love her, huh?" Jesse asked knowingly. "She fucked you over big time. How can you still love her?"

Beca nodded. "It's pathetic. But something about Chloe I can't let go. We literally hadn't talked since the day she left five years ago until today. But I've thought about her nonstop. I've worried about her more than I worry about myself. I've thought about calling her more times than I can count, but something stopped me every time." Beca said. She took breath and continued. "Even if she never felt the same, I would just be happy to be there for her like I had been since we were four years old. Be her best friend. Her emergency contact. Her plus one if she needed me. Because, she always needed me." Beca stated.

Aubrey and Jesse looked at the young brunette sadly. Just talking about Chloe made Beca's whole facade of the badass die hard chick wash away.

"And then suddenly, she didn't. She didn't want to be my best-friend. She could've cared less if I was her emergency contact. Or if I was her occasional plus one. And then one day, it all stopped. No calls for weeks. No going to Central Park and walking through it like we would do every Thursday just because. Because we loved it. Because we loved to see the hundreds of tourists, and even natives who knew absolutely nothing about it, but looked as if they knew what this city was all about. No walking down Broadway and admiring the shows that we, well more Chloe-" Beca said with a small laugh. "She wanted to see but couldn't possibly afford. No walking by the marquees and gawking over how badly Chloe would have absolutely loved to be on that stage." Beca said quietly.

"I love her and I would do anything for her back then and I still will." She said sternly.

After a moment she chuckled. "I remember for her eighteenth birthday I took her to see her first show and she was so happy. I think that's when I really fell in love. Seeing her be just, so subliminal. I knew from then on I wanted to be the cause of that euphoria she felt. And I would do anything in my being to make her that happy."

"I want to meet her." Aubrey simply said.

"Oh, I have a feeling you two would hit it off well." Beca said sarcastically.

Jesse nodded. "I think you could be best buds."

Aubrey laughed. "Well, if she hurts Beca again then I'm not so sure."

"I don't think she will. I've always been platonic towards her and she's been that way towards me. If we start over we should work." Beca said sternly.

Jesse laughed loudly, earning a red face from Beca. "You're kidding, right? You two were always all over each other. And everyone knows that Beca Mitchell isn't a touchy person, but shit, when you and Chloe were together you couldn't keep your hands off one another."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."

Jesse laughed and Beca glared at him.

"That's just how Chloe was; probably still is." Beca said. "She's a touchy person."

"Yeah, with you! Chloe was never up on me like that. Or Stacie, Amy or Lily-" Jesses face lighted up. "Oh shit!" Jesse said with laughter. "I remember one specific time. It was senior year and Beca and Chloe of course were together, with their hands intertwined and walking with our group of friends. Some idiot guy came up to them and started harassing them-"

Beca scowled. "Ugh, this story is terrible. Say a better one. I protect Chloe, blah, blah, blah. Chloe kisses my cheek like always. Yeah."

Aubrey giggled. "I still want to hear a story about your red head."

"She's not mine. She's this Tom guys we've never even met. I still don't see why my best-friend didn't tell me they were together." Beca coldy said.

"I think it was because it was the first person she ever dated." Jesse stated.

"What?" Beca said.

"Wasn't it? You two never dated people in high school cause you had each other. I don't see why you two didn't just date. I wouldn't be surprised if you two had never kissed another person until she "dated" him." Jesse said. "I don't know if you would consider it dating?"

"You guys kissed!?" Aubrey asked with her mouth open.

"Oh yeah, they kissed during spin the bottle. But I'm pretty sure that's it." Jesse stated.

Beca nodded sheepishly. Jesse and Aubrey looked to one another and laughed. "What other times did you two kiss?" Aubrey asked.

"Uh, there's actually three more times." Beca sheepishly said.

"Three!?" Jesse gawked, "And you never told me?"

Beca nodded with a small smile. "When we were fourteen, we both hadn't ever kissed any guys or really anyone. And neither of us wanted to. I guess that's the gay thing on my part and half the bisexual part for Chloe? Anyway, we thought hey why not? We're best-friends. So, we kissed."

Jesse mouth parted and Aubrey smiled.

"That's so adorable." Aubrey said.

"It wasn't much. Just a peck. But Chloe looked at me weird after for a while. She looked at me with like, this shy, cute smile. And I was young so I had no clue why. But now I feel like she liked me. Probably not, but yeah."

"And the other two?" Aubrey asked.

Beca laughed at the memory. "One time when were were sixteen we were waking through Central Park and she randomly kissed me."

"Just randomly?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah. I was so shocked and she didn't talk to me for the rest of the walk. She said it was cause there was mistletoe. But it wasn't even Christmas." Beca said. "And you know what? I've never kissed her. Sure, I've kissed her back, but she was the one to initiate the kiss each time."

Aubrey and Jesse seemed shocked with the new information.

"The last one is the best one." Beca said.

They nodded, letting her go on.

"I think you might know this story Jesse." Beca said before recalling, "We were twenty. It was actually the last time we saw each other. Her and I were out ice skating and we had just finished. I was putting my boots on while she used the bathroom and a guy started to talk to me. It was harmless too, all he said was that my coat was falling apart. I guess when Chloe came back she saw and she literally said, "Hey, babe." And kissed me. It was-" Beca's eyes filled and she smiled. "I can't even begin to explain it. She kissed me so passionately and I could've worn the world stopped. After that things actually got bad between us."

Jesse looked astonished as Aubrey smiled sadly. "Chloe was jealous." Jesse barely said.

Beca nodded. "I think so."

Jesse shook his head. "Why haven't you told me those stories?"

Beca tensed. "It's hard to talk about. She gave me so many reasons to make me think she felt the same way. And then all of a sudden she just- was gone."

"Are you going to tell her how you feel?" Jesse asked.

Beca scoffed and shook her head. "What's the point?" She shifted. "No, I'm not going to. I will try to be her friend and those feelings I've tried to repress, those feelings-" Beca shook her head again, "it's not worth it to bring them back up."

Jesse nodded sheepishly and looked to Aubrey.

"Well, ok. Tell another story. This is so interesting!"

"Well, how about I actually tell the one when you two decided to play spin the bottle with Amy, Stacie, Lily and everyone and when it landed on Chloe-"

"It's not a big deal." Beca quickly said with a glare. "Like I said, I loved her and she had this spell over me or something, I swear." Beca said.

Jesse looked at Aubrey and made a 'whoosh' sound while making whip motions with his hand. "After all these years, Chloe still has her whipped."

Aubrey laughed and once she saw Beca's facials she calmed down. "I'm sorry, Becs, but you are so whipped." Aubrey said.

Beca shrugged. "Like I said, I'm happy to be there for Chloe. As a friend more than ever now. I don't think I could take another heart break."

They nodded. "How is Noelle?" Jesse asked hesitantly.

Beca's eyes closed momentarily and she let out a breath. "I guess she's fine."

Beca has dated two girls in the time Chloe's been gone, much to her dismay. She didn't want to date anyone, but Jesse insisted. Beca and Chloe never even dated but Beca felt weird dating other women. I mean, Chloe and Beca were basically a couple without the label and sex. The first girl was about two years after Chloe left. Her name was Camille and it was merely a fling with a one night stand. Beca's first time, actually. This girl Noelle is a bit more serious. They've been causally dating for three months. Beca likes her, sure, but she's just not Chloe.

"How are things with her?" Aubrey asked.

Beca shrugged. "Same as always."

"If you're not happy with her why don't you break up?" Aubrey asked. "I mean, do you even have feelings for her?"

"Well, I do have a feeling I won't ever be happy with anyone unless it's Chloe, so I might as well just try." Beca said. "Plus she's really sweet and she doesn't deserve to have me just dump her because I'm pathetically still in love with a other women, who clearly could give to fucks about me." Beca lashed.

Beca's feelings were mixed. She loved Chloe. She loved Chloe more than she loves her self. But at the same time, she finds herself lashing her words every once in awhile when talking about the red head.

Jesse and Aubrey nodded.

_I really hope Chloe comes to her senses once she's back in the city and admits her love for Beca_. Jesse thought.

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><p>Later that night after working and checking up on the club Beca was sitting in her bedroom casually drinking a beer thinking about none other than Chloe.<p>

As she flipped through the TV channels she couldn't help but let her mind wander to how Chloe's been.

_I wonder if she's still with Tom. Yes, of course she is. Even though she didn't mention him, who knows? Maybe she just feels bad for fucking me over and leaving me for a guy she met a month before._

Beca shook her head. _NO, what the hell Beca? She wasn't yours in the first place._

Suddenly, her phone started to ring and she got really excited, hoping it was Chloe.

_ITS CHLOE. Wait, no it's Noelle. Damn. Wait? Ugh, Beca you should be happy to get a call from your girlfriend._

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe. Don't sound so happy to talk to me."

Beca shifted so her legs were out in front of her and her head was rested on the headboard. "Sorry. Long day."

"Well, anyway we haven't seen each other in a few days and I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner on Friday night? I know it's a week away, but I'm swamped with work."

"Oh, yeah. Sounds-" _Chloe._

"Is that ok?" Noelle asked.

_Shit. Chloe. Fuck! No, it's not ok._

"I'm meeting an old friend that day. Uh, do you think we could have dinner Saturday?"

"Oh, of course. I'll text you tomorrow! Goodnight."

"Night." Beca said and hung up.

_Of course_. Beca sighed. _T__hings just have to go that way. Right? Chloe waltzes back in and just takes over again. _

"I am a mess."

_Chloe destroys me and pools me into a big mess. She is insufferable in the best way possible. But I love her. And I can't not love her._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - The New Chloe**

Beca woke up the next day with heavy sleep in her eyes and weak limbs. This isn't new, though. Ever since she was sixteen and got diagnosed with insomnia due to her parents incredibly rocky divorce, her sleep has been disturbed. And now that Chloe has been gone, her sleep is even more messed up.

On a typical night she comes home from the club at around midnight, sometimes she spends time with Noelle, but usually she just comes home and tries her hardest to sleep. The sleep is for the weak, apparently. It's ten in the morning now. She hadn't fallen asleep until six, so four hours of sleep is what it looks like for Beca today.

She sat up in bed, groaned, then threw her feet over the side and stood up.

She picked up her phone and saw she had three texts. Beca started to walk to the bathroom as she checked them.

_'Jesse: Hey, Aubrey and I want to talk to you. Meet us at the usual place at twelve?'_

_I bet it's about Chloe_. She typed out a quick reply of merely,_ 'Sure.'_ And then went to the next message that was from Chloe. Beca had a large smile on her face and her heart was pounding. _Get a hold of yourself, Beca._

_'Chloe: Hey, Becs. I hope you have a good day today. Oh, and don't forget to drink your black coffee. I know how you like to get your days started.'_

Beca grinned. _She remembers that? Psh, of course she does. Wait, what do I say?_

After thinking of something not so idiotic she replied, '_Hey, Chlo. You have a good day, too. I definitely won't forget, thanks for reminding me, though.'_

_I can't wait to see her. _

Beca snapped out of her thought and remembered she had a third message.

_'Noelle: Hey, you. Just saying good morning :)'_

Beca smiled slightly. _She's so sweet, I feel so bad for leading her on._

She replied, '_Good morning.'_ and as soon as she hit send, her phone chimed again. She slouched against the bathroom counter and smiled as she saw it was Chloe.

_'Chloe: Can't wait to see you and hug the life out of you!'_

Beca smiled and laughed. She turned the shower on and replied, '_You know how I hate hugs, but I guess yours are all right, Beale.' _Then sat her phone down, not noticing she had a reply from Noelle and started to strip down and got in the shower.

She got in and started thinking about Chloe. _I wonder if she missed me._ Beca started to wash her hair. _I missed her. Damn, I missed her._ She rinsed her hair. _Huh, I probably shouldn't think of her while in the shower._ Beca washed her body off and then turned the shower off and wrapped her body in a towel.

She saw her phone was lit up with a message. She made sure her hands were dry and picked it up.

_'Chloe: Mine are the best and you know it! What are you up to today? I really miss talking to you face to face, but I guess this will have to do for now.'_

Beca let out a breath. _I'm really am so fucked._

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><p>Later on Beca walked into the coffee shop with a smile. She and Chloe had been texting back and forth their usual flirty banter that they had always done. It felt normal. It felt as if five year of not speaking didn't go by.<p>

Beca sat down with Aubrey and Jesse, quickly wiping the smile off her face when she saw their serious faces.

Beca sighed. "If this is about Chloe, I really don't want to hear it. I can promise you that we are going to be friends again. I missed her more than I can explain and she is the greatest friend I have ever had."

Jesse and Aubrey fake gasped. "Thanks, Beca." Aubrey said.

"Well, yeah." Beca laughed. "Besides you two. Chloe and I were friends back then and we're friends now."

Aubrey pursed her lips and Jesse sat up straight. "Beca, we found out something about Chloe that you might want to hear." Jesse said carefully.

Beca knitted her eyebrows together and shook her head slightly. "What?"

"Chloe left because-"

Beca stopped him. "No, I don't want to hear it. My parents tried to tell me when they found out from her parents, but no. Chloe can tell me since were meeting up on Friday."

Jesse let out a breath. "Beca, I think you're going to want to hear this."

"No." Beca said. "If it's important I want to hear it from Chloe. My parents said the same thing."

The couple nodded. Beca's phone lit up and she smiled right away. Aubrey and Jesse looked at each other in disbelief.

"No way." Aubrey said.

"Are you texting her?" Jesse asked.

Beca didn't reply, she was too engrossed with the text.

"Beca!?" Aubrey said.

She snapped her head up from the interesting conversation and said, "What?"

Aubrey scoffed. "Are you really talking to her?"

Beca shrugged. "I- yeah. Why not?"

Jesse had a pissed off look on his face while Aubrey looked a little confused.

"Why not? Let's see. I can give you a boat load of reasons. And many of them are not what you would like to hear." Jesse stated.

"I can't help it." Beca whined. "She texted me first anyway."

Jesse laughed with a snark in his voice as he leaned back in the chair. "Of course she did. Because she's Chloe and she just thinks she can come waltz back in without a care in the world." Jesse said. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

Aubrey nodded at the words. Jesse just sat there with his arms crossed and shaking his right leg.

After a long pause and an awkward silence Beca spoke up quietly, "Why are you guys so mad that I'm talking to Chloe? I don't get it, yeah I love her and all that, but we've always been friends first and foremost." Beca stated. "What's wrong with this situation?" She asked a little louder this time.

Aubrey pursed her lips again before she spoke, "We don't want you to get hurt, and you don't know some things about Chloe that we found out earlier from Stacie. If you knew, I think things would make more sense, but I'm warning you, the facts will hurt."

"And you _will_ be hurt. When you see what it is, you will be _so_ hurt." Jesse said softly while he nodded his head slightly.

Beca's face fell and she was aching to know what happened, but knew that she shouldn't pry the information.

"I'll just have to wait and find out." Beca said.

Aubrey looked to Jesse, then Beca. "Are you sure? It's some pretty big news."

Beca started fidgeting. _Wait... See? What the hell could it be!? And why hasn't Chloe told me if it's so big?_

"I'm sure." Beca stated sternly. "I've waited five years, I can wait five days."

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><p>Three am. Slightly drunk. Hopelessly wishing she could sleep. Confused. And Beca can't stop thinking mindlessly about why Chloe would pack up and leave. But hey, what's new?<p>

_Maybe it's got something to do with the reason Jesse said? I need to know. I'll call him._

Beca picked up her phone and drunk dialed Jesses number. After a while he picked up.

"Beca, what the hell? It's 3 in the morning?"

"I knooow!" She slurred.

"Are you drunk?" Jesse asked.

"Nooooo." Beca said. "Tell me what happened with Chloe!" Beca yelled.

"No, you said to wait and your drunk." Jesse said. "Try to get some rest."

The line went dead.

"Eeerrrggg. I'm never going to know."

Beca got into bed and closed her eyes. She started to think back to the day she found out Chloe left.

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><p><em>Five years ago...<em>

Beca was working on some mixes as well as looking for some jobs. She was a waitress at the time, but got laid off. Beca was bobbing her head to a beat when her phone started to ring and she froze.

Chloe's name flashed across the screen.

"Holy shit." Beca whispered. "Holy shit! She hasn't called me in three weeks. Oh my God!"

Beca calmed and took a deep breath. She paused her music, took her head phones off and picked it up. "Hey, you. I was beginning to think I'd never hear from you again." She joked.

She could hear Chloe take a deep breath. The way her breath shook, Beca knew she had been crying. She's comforted Chloe enough to know.

"Are- what's wrong, Chlo?" Beca asked.

Chloe took another evident breath. "I'm so sorry, Beca."

Beca's mouth parted, but nothing came out right away. She let out a small breath. "Don't worry about it." Beca assumed Chloe was apologizing for breaking contact, but she was wrong. "Uh, so what's going on?"

"Beca-" Chloe stopped.

_Why does she keep calling me Beca? I haven't heard her call me Beca since, since she told me she was bi. But even that was five years ago now._

"Beca, I haven't called you or you know, came over or met up with you, because I don't know how to tell you this." Chloe stated with sadness laced in her voice.

Beca stood up and walked over to sit on her bed. "Chlo, you can tell me. I won't be mad. And if it's something terrible I'll help you through. We've been best-friends for sixteen years, nothing will keep me away from you." Beca said. "I promise."

"I started seeing someone. His name is Tom." Chloe suddenly rushed out.

Beca's face dropped and her stomach flipped as her heart was pounding. "Oh." She barely whispered.

"God, I- I'm so sorry I never told you this."

Beca gulped. "It's ok." Chloe started crying and it was evident. "Chlo, where are you? I'm not mad you have a boyfriend." _Yes, I am. I'm so hurt. But, what can_ _you do._ "Let's take a walk or something. We haven't done that in so long. And I know you love walking through Madison instead of Central when you're sad."

Chloe was quiet. No more sniffles. No more shaky breaths. No more gulps.

"I'm in Phoenix, Arizona."

Beca shot out of bed. "WHAT? Why!?" She started to pace. "What? Chloe, why the hell are you in Arizona?" Beca asked confused.

Chloe took a deep breath. "I just got here about a week ago. I moved with Tom."

Beca started to breath heavily. "Why would you move across country with a guy you just met a month ago?"

No answer.

Beca started to cry. "Chloe, what the fuck!? Answer me!"

No answer.

Beca wiped her tears and sat back down. "Chloe?"

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I still want to keep in touch. I'll call you everyday. I love you and I miss you more than anything, Becs." She quietly said. "I can't lose you."

Beca shook her head. _Don't even._ "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Have fun in fucking Arizona." Beca muttered and hung up.

* * *

><p>Beca started to cry at the memory. "The last words I had said to her were terrible." She rolled over onto her stomach and picked up some more beer off the ground.<p>

"Let's drink to sadness." Beca mumbled. She propped her self up and popped open a bottle. "To being a bitch." She said as she raised the bottle and gulped it down.

"Why Phoenix? Of all places they ran away to Phoenix?" Beca asked herself for the millionth time.

She set her beer down and laid her body down. Beca sat with thoughts of why Chloe could've possibly left without a word. Her body still hurt. Her mind was still racing. And her stomach was aching. Her heart still wondered why her best-friend could leave her with no known reason.

* * *

><p>Friday. The week went by quickly with Beca doing her usual routine. Beca woke up this morning with a smile drawn upon her face. <em>I'm seeing Chloe today.<em> She kept repeating in her head. They hadn't been texting as much. It was weird, Chloe would only text her at certain times of they day.

Once or twice in the morning. And then nothing until night time. Beca assumed Chloe was busy with unpacking, or maybe she already got a job. Yeah, she probably did.

It was only noon, but Beca was as siked as ever. She was on her laptop, searching for a nice restaurant to go to. They had decided to meet up at a restaurant in The Village since Chloe lived not too far, apparently. Theydecided on an Italian place they used to go to cause she knew how much Chloe loved it. She texted Chloe the place, no reply, but she figured it was the wrong time of day.

A few hours went by and Beca decided to get ready. She had her appearance taken care of, but she needed to make sure she had her cell and money. She would be taking the subway since she had no car. Like the stereotypical New Yorker, Beca figured there was no point in having a car. Beca stood in front of the mirror and examined herself.

_I wonder if I look different. I wonder if she looks different._

After a while she noticed it was about five-thirty and they were meeting at seven so she walked out her apartment door with a smile on her face and headed for the subway.

During the subway ride Beca was extra fidgety. She was filled with nervous tension mixed with pure joy. She should probably be mad at Chloe, but she just can't find her self having any grudges. Neither of them tried calling each other, so Beca knew she was part to blame.

Beca stepped off the subway and took a breath. It was about a fifteen minute walk to the restaurant. Plenty of time to think. As she knew that she was getting closer her stomach started to do back-flips. Once she was at the small restaurant she took a deep, long breath and walked in. It was a causal place so no reservations or anything of the sort.

She couldn't spot any red hair, so she assumed Chloe wasn't there yet.

"Hello, how many?" The hostess asked.

"Oh, hi- uh for two. I'm meeting a friend."

She smiled warmly. "Right this way."

Beca was led to a small table and sat down.

"All right, have a nice meal."

"Thanks." Beca said.

The lady walked off and Beca sat for a moment before checking the time. "Seven-o-five." She mumbled. _No biggie._

A few minutes later the waitress came up. "Hi, I'm Lana. I'll be your waitress tonight. What will it be to drink?"

Beca tensed. _Come on, Chlo._ "Uh, I'll have just water. And I'm meeting a friend. She'll have a lemonade." _I hope she still likes lemonade. She does. She always has._

"All right." She said warmly. Beca smiled at her and said, "Thanks." And she walked off.

_Ok, Chloe. Seven-fifteen._

Beca pulled out her phone and checked if she had any messages. _This isn't like Chloe to just not come._

At around seven-thirty the waitress came back and smiled slightly. "Do you want to wait?"

Beca smiled sadly. "Just a little while longer." The waitress nodded and walked off.

_Seriously, Chloe?_

Beca pulled out her phone. No messages.

She texted Jesse. _'Chloe hasn't shown. She's thirty minutes late.'_

Jesse replied instantly. _'Are you surprised?'_

Just as she was about to reply the waitress came back. "Ready?"

Beca sighed. "I just want to wait a little longer. She usually doesn't do this."

_Chloe's never stood me up._

She nodded, "It's not a problem." And walked away.

Twenty minutes later and the waitress hasn't come back. Beca's sitting alone. It's been fifty minutes since she got there.

Ten minutes later Beca stood up and walked up to the front and found the hostess.

"Hi, I'm really sorry about the hold up. Here's the money for the drinks." Beca said as she handed the money over.

"Oh, it's no problem. Sorry about your dinner."

Beca shrugged and half smiled. "Thanks." Then walked out.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Jesse as she started walking to the subway station.

"Did she show?" He asked.

"No." She said quietly. "Noelle and I were supposed to go out tonight. I stood her up for Chloe."

Jesse sighed. "Honestly, I'm really surprised she didn't show. After her just leaving you would think she wouldn't even have the guys to reconnect."

"Well, I was hoping she would explain everything to me. Give me the information. Why she left with no explanation. Looks like I was wrong." Beca said.

"I'm really sorry, Beca." Jesse said._ Maybe it has to due with Chloe's current situation?_ Jesse thought, but decided to keep his mouth shut.

"No worries. Nothing ya can do. I just wish she would've let me know instead if just bailing." She said as she stepped into the subway. "Anyway, I gotta go." Beca said and hung up.

Beca sat down and slumped slightly. _I hope she's ok. I hope something bad didn't come up._ Beca sighed._ No, she would've told me. What if she forgot? Ha, she probably did. _Beca started to get bitter._ Well, if she doesn't care, than neither do I._

* * *

><p>Beca had just walked in through her apartment door from the club and she got a call.<p>

"Chloe." Beca mumbled. "I'm not picking up." She set her phone down and got ready for bed.

Afterwards, she noticed she had five missed calls all from Chloe. "No. She can't just keep doing this to me. She's fucked me over enough. I'm done." Beca said to herself.

She laid down momentarily before It started to ring again. For a moment she was strong, she was tough. She wasn't giving it. But then she realized it's Chloe. Her Chloe. The Chloe that has a spell over her. She picked up. _I shouldn't even be doing this. This isn't good._

"Beca! I am so sorry, you have no idea." Chloe rushed out. "I got caught up."

Beca only scoffed.

"I can explain." Chloe said.

"Oh, really? Cause you never explained why you left." Beca said coldy.

"That's not fair." Chloe barely said. "I can-"

Beca groaned. "Chloe!" Beca shouted. "Are you really telling me about fair? You want to know what's not fair?" Beca asked.

No response.

"What's not fair is wondering why my best-friend, the only person I've had my whole life who listened to me, who understood me, who helped me through the sleepless nights, who comforted me when my parents constantly fought, who when they divorced was the only one I had to cry into, who held me when I was upset and couldn't breath because of my crying, just damn disappeared." Beca yelled into the phone.

"Beca, if you'll let me explain-"

"No, Chloe. You lost your chance. You fucked me over. You fucked us over, and really? You think you can just apologize and it will be ok? It won't be. Five years have gone by. My life has changed drastically, as yours probably has. These five years I've missed you more than anything. But, Chloe... You think we can meet up and be best-friends again?" Beca asked.

Chloe sniffled. _No, __she's crying. I can't handle a crying Chloe._

Beca siged. "Honestly... When you said you were coming back, Chlo... I was so happy. I couldn't wait to see you and be ourselves again. But after you standing me up tonight, I'm not even sure if I want you back in my life. Because if this is the new Chloe, I want nothing to do with you." Beca said.

"I'm ss-sorry." Chloe stammered. Beca knew Chloe was on the verge of. sobs. _I can't just let her get away with this, but I can't stand hearing her cry._

"I'm so sorry. I can't even tell you-you how fucking sorry I am." Chloe cried.

"It's a little late for apologizes. You know, I stood my girlfriend up for you." Beca stated._ I'm not giving in. Jesse is right. I can't let her waltz back in and take over my life again. Even if that's what I want._

"Girlfriend? You- you're, what?" Chloe said.

"Yeah. We were supposed to go out tonight, but I figured since my supposedly best-friend would be back in town I should go with the latter. Guess I was wrong."

Beca heard a muffled voice in the background, it was small and faint. She assumed it was Tom.

"Well, you better get back to your beloved boyfriend? Or husband now? You know since I don't know what the fuck he was in the first place. Take care Chloe." Beca said and hung up.

_If Chloe doesn't seriously care, than neither do I any longer._ But damn, was Beca wrong.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter! And the follows/favs.

**50 shades of Pitch Perfect: **Your question will definitely be answered next chapter.

**RobOverstreet: **I'm glad you like it so far, I'm pretty excited about writing it.

**KingVsQueen: **Definitely not a one shot. Many more chapters to come.

Also, to the guests thanks for the reviews :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm really sorry about such long chapters, they will be much shorter after this one. There was just so much to explain. And thanks again for all the follows/favs and reviews in the second chapter! I smiled like an idiot reading them. And I totally forgot to put a warning on this, so DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WARNING!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Still Yours<strong>

Beca was awoken the following morning by her phone ringing. She reached around for her buzzing phone and saw it was Chloe. Reluctantly, she picked up. She knew her outburst last night wasn't as acceptable as she wanted it to be.

"I'm sorry for getting mad." Beca blurted sleepily as she sat up and answered the phone. "It was basically five years of frustration built up."

Chloe laughed lightly. "I understand. Uh, can you meet me by the bridge in Central Park in thirty minutes?"

"Sure. Ok." Beca said. "You gonna be there this time?" Beca half joked.

"Yes. I want to explain everything. From the day I left and to why I took so long to contact you. Just everything." Chloe said.

Beca tried to not smile. "I'll be there." She said and hung up.

* * *

><p>It was cold. Colder than normal. Beca had a huge coat on and some warm boots. She was leaning on the railing looking into the water. Chloe told her thirty minutes which would have been one in the afternoon. Beca got there early, not wanting to be late. Being a hypocrite is never fun.<p>

Beca was engrossed in her thoughts. Her insides were erupting with butterflies. She didn't notice Chloe slowly walking up, until she was about ten feet away. Beca turned her head and for a split second she didn't recognize the girl was Chloe. She stepped away from the railing, turned her body towards her and she furrowed her eyebrows and her mouth parted as she saw Chloe walk up to her with a small smile. Chloe stopped in front of her and swallowed some spit.

"Hi." She quietly said.

"Hi." Beca said back."Your hair isn't red anymore." Beca stated. "And you have a scar on your forehead." Beca said as she touched it. "And-"

Chloe didn't say anything, she pulled Beca into her and hugged her. It was a Chloe hug. She grabs you and hugs you so tightly you can't breath, she nestles her head into your neck and you can feel her breath against your skin. Beca was surprised at first. She hasn't had contact like this since Chloe left. Sure, she has a girlfriend, but they hardly even see each other, more or less hug. Beca reciprocated the hug a few seconds later. She wrapped her small arms around Chloe's waist and pulled her in tighter. Beca then pulled back, but Chloe didn't let her. "Not yet." Chloe whispered. Beca closed her eyes and relished the moment. Chloe eventually pulled back and looked down.

"You want to walk?" Chloe quietly asked.

Beca thought it was strange how quiet Chloe was speaking. The red head, well now brunette, used to be so bubbly and her voice was so happy. Now she sounded like she was afraid of even speaking.

"We can walk." Beca said.

Beca took a few steps, so Chloe joined her. Chloe continued to look down and hadn't said anything. Beca bobbed her head for a moment, and then she noticed that Chloe only had a small jacket.

"Aren't you cold?" Beca asked amused.

"I don't have coats anymore. You don't really need those in Arizona." Chloe said.

"Oh, what about your old ones?" Beca asked.

"I don't have them anymore." Chloe said.

Beca nodded. She didn't want to push the information out of Chloe, but the girl didn't seem like she was going to say anything. They continued to walk for a few minutes in silence.

"Are you going to tell me anything or are we just going to walk in silence?" Beca asked as she looked up at Chloe.

Chloe closed her eyes momentarily and then nodded. "Well, I guess I'll start with Tom." Chloe said.

Beca nodded. "Why don't we sit down?" Beca said as she saw a bench come into view.

Chloe nodded and they walked over to it and sat down.

Chloe sat at a distance, which was weird. Since Chloe was always very close to Beca when they sat. Chloe would rest her hand on Beca's knee, or try and hold her hand, just any type of physical contact. Beca guessed it was because of the time gap, but Chloe still wasn't being Chloe.

Once again Chloe was quiet. They sat for a another moment before Beca spoke up again. "Chloe?"

Chloe looked up from a moment, they locked eyes, but then Chloe looked down again.

"Are you ok?" Beca asked softly.

_What a dumb question._ Beca thought.

"Oh, yeah. Fine. Kind of nervous to be with you again." Chloe said. She turned so she was facing Beca. "So, I'll start with Tom." She said.

Beca only nodded. "Wait, why couldn't you come last night?"

"I just got really caught up with everything, like I said I'm sorry." Chloe said.

Beca nodded, letting Chloe continue. Beca wasn't trying to pry information, but she had a feeling Chloe didn't just get caught up.

"First off. Tom and I, um- well, we never dated. We were never official. We didn't get married." Chloe said. "Do you remember the last time we saw each other?" She asked.

"We went ice skating." Beca stated. She decided to leave the other details out.

"Right." Chloe said with a tiny smile. "Well, I met Tom about one month before that at work." Chloe said.

"Oh." Beca said.

"And he, he wanted to take me to dinner, but I said I wasn't interested. And he wouldn't let it go. He asked me everyday why he wasn't good enough for me." Chloe said.

She looked down for a moment, but then looked back to Beca. She was sitting up straight and staring at Chloe intently. Beca had waited for five years to hear this story and she wasn't going to interrupt Chloe.

"That went on for about a month. The day after we went ice skating I gave in and said we could go to dinner. I wasn't interested in him at all. I didn't have a good time. And I really just dreaded work after that." Chloe explained. "The following Monday he asked me on a second date, and I said no, and that I wasn't interested just like the first time. But, that didn't stop him."

Beca wanted to ask why Chloe hadn't ever told her this, but decided to just listen.

"After work that day, he wouldn't let me leave. I walked out of the restaurant and he just followed me." Chloe said quietly. She started to breath slightly heavy and Beca got scared.

"I didn't want to go to my apartment because I was scared something bad might happen. He offered to take me back to his, but I said no. But he insisted. He wanted to show me that we would be a great couple and we were meant for each other."

Beca's eyes widened and Chloe started to shake her right leg.

"I wouldn't let him take me. I called Stacie and she picked me up." Chloe said. "I would've called you, but I didn't want to bother you and I know how you hate cars."

Beca let out a small, breathy laugh and Chloe continued to shake her leg.

"But the next day, he was really different. He was sweet, and I decided to give him a real chance. We went out that Friday night and I actually enjoyed it. We went back to his apartment, and um-" Chloe let out a breath. "He started to kiss me and it felt so wrong, and then he just started to touch me, and he wouldn't stop, and he held me down." Chloe said with a shaky breath.

Beca shook her head. "You didn't tell him to stop?" She asked.

"I did! But he said it was my fault that he got turned on. He said I shouldn't have worn the clothes I did and that he couldn't help himself. And that he wanted to show me that we were supposed to be together."

Beca shook he head again and ran her hand through her hair. "Chloe, he raped you... And you just left with him?"

"It wasn't really rape. I let it happen. I only said stop once. I was scared. I had never had sex before. I knew what was happening, but I didn't stop it." Chloe explained.

Then it hit her. "Chlo, you left cause you got pregnant?" Beca asked.

Chloe started to cry. She nodded and then wiped some tears. "I thought I was. I was so scared after what happened. I was freaking out. I didn't want anyone to know. I took a test, I took like thirty tests. I was pregnant. And when I told him, he said he had it all worked out. He said that we could move to Arizona where his father has a company. He said he had work out west and everything would be fine." She said with tears pouring.

"We left a few days later. I didn't let anyone know. I told my parents the day we got settled. Uh, I just told them I met someone and we moved together. I told them what I told you. I didn't tell you obviously until a week later, but I told them I was pregnant a month later."

Beca gulped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Chloe took several shaky breaths before she answered. "I thought you hated me. After you hung up on me I knew you did. I knew you never wanted to talk to me again. And I knew our friendship was over."

It was a good thing they were in a somewhat secluded area, Chloe was basically sobbing as Beca was trying to grasp the new information.

"Chlo, I told you I would've been there for you. You didn't have to go across the country. We all would've helped you." Beca softly said.

She knew it wouldn't take anything back, but she said it.

Chloe wiped her tears and set her face in her hands and kept crying. Beca scooted over and placed her hand on Chloe's bony back and rubbed it up and down softly.

"So, you have a kid." Beca stated. "I always knew you would be a great Mom." Beca cooed as she drew comforting circles in Chloe's back.

Chloe started crying even heavier if that was possible. She was quietly crying though, her body was shaking as she heard Beca's words.

"I had a miscarriage." She mumbled.

Beca barely heard. "Oh, Chlo... I, oh- you did?"

She sat up and didn't even bother wiping her tears. "About one month living in Arizona I started bleeding one night and we went to the hospital and they said I had a miscarriage."

Chloe let out a large breath. "It was terrible. I was so upset, I was just so angry. I moved across the country so everything would work out for the best and then that happened."

Beca hugged Chloe tightly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered.

Chloe rested her head on Beca's shoulder. "But it's just stupid, I was upset over something I never had. Why would I get so upset over an unborn child? I was distraught. And Tom wasn't any help. He made me feel worse. He said I ruined his plan. I ruined our life together. I was all alone."

"Why didn't you come back home?" Beca asked. She tried to pull back but Chloe wouldn't let go of her.

"He wouldn't let me. He said we would try and have a life together out there. I tried to convince him that I didn't want that. We were twenty, I mean- I- I had no clue what my life was." Chloe said.

Beca wondered if Chloe ended up with a kid or not. _Why is Chloe's hair brown? And why does she have that scar now? What if Tom is here with her?_

Beca pulled back and Chloe let go of her. Beca placed her hand on Chloe's that was on her thigh. Beca gave Chloe a small, reassuring smile.

"I'm not mad. I feel like I should be. I feel like we shouldn't be friends. But, I'm not mad." Beca said.

Chloe's crying calmed and she nodded.

Beca's mouth parted, but nothing came out. A moment later she looked into Chloe's eyes, "Do you have a child?"

Chloe shook her head. "I don't think I can have kids." She said softly.

"What? Why?" Beca asked.

A few stray tears slid down Chloe's face. "I'm infertile. Tom wanted to have kids and I just couldn't get pregnant. We went to the doctor and they told me I was infertile. It's weird. I guess I can get pregnant, but the baby will just die."

Beca looked down. She really didn't know what to say.

"Did you fall in love with him?" Beca quietly asked.

Chloe didn't answer, but it gave the answer.

Beca nodded. "So, why did it take you so long to call me?" Beca asked calmly.

"I was scared." Chloe said. "And believe me, I know that that's stupid. I know I could've called you and you would've been more than happy. But after the miscarriage I got diagnosed with depression. Really bad depression. And with Tom belittling me about the loss, it made it worse. I assumed you hated me, so I made no efforts to call you."

Chloe then ducked her head and sniffled. "Most of all I was just embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I didn't love Tom at the time. I barely liked him as a person." Chloe looked into Beca's eyes. "And I hate myself to this day for losing you for five years. You were the best thing in my life and all of a sudden everything was gone and it was dark. My whole life was nothing. I did nothing. I had no life for almost three years." Chloe said.

"I stayed home everyday. Tom wouldn't let me leave the house half the time. The only time I would go out was if he let me. Which was maybe once a week if I was lucky. He thought that if I left the house unsupervised I would never come back. Which I mean, I really would not have."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Couldn't you have told the cops or, or your parents? Anyone? Tom seems like he's a sociopath." Beca said.

"I couldn't." Chloe barely said. "And he is."

"Why, Chloe?" Beca asked. "You could've came back. You let yourself stay there for five years years!" Beca shouted.

Chloe snapped her head up. "No! No! I didn't want to be there. I was too scared to leave. Tom convinced me to stay, he told me it was what's best. He told me that no one else would love me like he loved me. He told me that if I went back to the city all my friends would hate me and they wouldn't even want me back. Beca, he-" Chloe started to shake. Both of her legs were bobbing up and down quickly as she played with her hands and shut her eyes. "After I got diagnosed, I stopped talking. I wouldn't talk to him. I stayed in bed. I slept for hours on end. If I didn't act like the "girlfriend" I was supposed to, he would uh, burn my neck."

Beca's mouth hung and she looked at Chloe's scar on her forehead. Then her brunette hair, and she saw that Chloe had burn scars on her neck.

She placed her index finger on the forehead scar and traced it. Then slid her fingers down Chloe's pale face and touched the ones on her neck.

"Is that what these are from?" Beca asked with a shaky voice.

Chloe nodded sheepishly.

"What did he do?"

Chloe sighed. "The one on my forehead- he pushed me down. We were outside in the backyard and I did something wrong and he pushed me. My head hit some bricks." Chloe said. She shifted so her right side of her face was facing Beca. She pulled her hair up and showed Beca her head. There was a patch with no hair and a large, white scar.

"Holy shit." Beca mumbled. "Chloe, I'm so sorry."

Chloe shrugged lightly. "The ones on my neck are burns. He smoked, and sometimes he would place the bud on my neck to get me to talk."

Beca furrowed her eyebrows. "Talk?"

"Like I said, my depression was so bad that I didn't talk. He wanted me to have conversations, but my mind didn't know how."

Beca nodded. "You're not still with him... Are you?"

Chloe shifted. "No. I haven't been for almost a year and a half."

Beca sat up straight. "A year!? And your just now telling me this? Chloe, what the fuck? Do you hate me or something?"

"Beca, about two years ago, he tried to kill me multiple times." Chloe rushed out. "He tried to choke me, but he just stopped in the middle of it. And one day he tried to set the house on fire. He tried to slit my throat once. He's done things to me that are sick. He apparently had a disorder that's really complicated to explain. It explained everything to me, though. It all makes sense."

Beca's mouth hung and she had a blank expression on her face.

"It didn't work, obviously. It took a while for everything to be processed, but now he's in jail for a long, long time."

Beca nodded. "So, who uh, who was the voice I heard yesterday?"

"Oh, just a friend. She and I met about a year ago in court and we hit if off well. She was moving here for a job and I missed the city and you, so I moved with her." Chloe nervously said.

"And Chlo, why is your hair brown?" Beca asked.

"Tom didn't like my red hair. He said brown suited me more." Chloe said.

Beca scoffed. "You're beautiful no matter what. I think you should go back to red, Red." Beca said. "Not that brown doesn't suit you, cause it does. But the red hair is Chloe." Beca rushed out.

_She's making me nervous again._

Chloe blushed. "I will. I've been meaning to."

Beca smiled halfheartedly. "So, how's your depression?"

"It's better. It's..." Chloe looked Beca in the eyes and smiled at her. "It's getting there. I'm definitely not as bad. Now that Toms out of my life I'm not as jumpy and scared all the time. I don't know if I'm much different. If you haven't noticed I'm kind of pale. Not much sunlight was gotten over the years."

_You look scared. You look disheveled. You're not bubbly, or beaming. You're not Chloe. _

"I'm glad you're over with all that. You don't deserve any of the things that have happened to you. You're so amazing and strong, Chlo." Beca said as she grabbed Chloe's hand and squeezed it.

Chloe started to tear up. "I missed you so much." She barely said. "And I still want to he your best-friend. I want you back in my life and I want to be in yours. I'm trying so hard to get over this depression and I think you can help me. I want to make up for lost time." Chloe stated, a little more confidently.

Beca wondered why Chloe couldn't tell someone. Why she felt like she really couldn't. She understood Chloe was scared, but didn't quiet get how she stayed in that relationship for three years, and it was shocking to her that the only reason she's out of it was because Tom tried to kill her.

"I missed you too." Beca said as she touched Chloe's burned neck. She placed her hand behind Chloe's neck. "And I'm still here for you. I'm still your emergency contact." Beca said with a cheesy tone and grin. She pushed the hairs out of Chloe's face and tucked them behind her ear. "And I'm still yours, still your best-friend."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Scratch the no more long chapters thing...

**Chapter 4 - Irrational Anger**

Beca and Chloe were contently walking back through Central Park. After their huge conversation they decided they wanted to spend some of the day together before Beca had work. Neither of them wanted to part ways, but didn't know how to say it.

"So, you want to get some coffee or something?" Beca asked.

"I would, but I'm supposed to take my pills soon and if I don't it can mess my head up, I guess." Chloe said. "And I need to use my burn cream on my neck. If I don't they won't go away eventually."

"Oh, it's cool. You gotta get better." Beca started. "Can I walk you home, at least?"

"Sure." Chloe said with a smile tugging at her lips. "You can meet my room mate. She's really nice and funny... Kind of, off, but she's great." Chloe reassured. "And we can have coffee there, if you want?"

Beca nodded happily. "I can't wait."

* * *

><p>"This place is not much, but I like it." Chloe said as they walked up to her door. She was unlocking her apartment door, when it flung open, revealing a heavy set blonde girl.<p>

"Hey, shadow." The rugged blonde said. She looked to Beca. "Whose ya friend?"

Beca stifled a laugh. _Shadow?_

"Amy, this is Beca. Beca, this is Amy." Chloe said as she motioned between the two.

"That's Fat Amy to you, short stack." Amy said.

Beca cocked an eyebrow. "You call yourself Fat Amy?"

"Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back." Amy stated.

Beca nodded and smirked. "Noted."

Chloe giggled, and Amy looked up at her. "Whoa, haven't heard you laugh like that before." Amy said. "She's one of the shyest people I've ever met."

Beca laughed, _shyest? Chloe?_

Chloe sort of ducked her head. "Why don't we go inside?" Chloe said.

Beca nodded and Amy stepped to the side, letting the pair pass. Beca walked in after Chloe and sat down on the couch.

"I'm just going to take my medicine and take care of my neck and then I'll make us some coffee." Chloe said.

"Sounds good." Beca said.

Chloe half smiled and walked into her room. Beca watched her as she walked off. Amy walked over and sat down next to her, making an 'oomph' sound.

"Sooo, you are Beca." Amy said with a suspicious tone. "I've heard lots and lots about you from the shadow."

Beca nodded. "Yep. Beca. And why do you keep calling Chloe shadow?"

"She's quiet. And she never really talks to people. So, she's a shadow. Ya know? By the way, I have loads of boyfriends." Amy stated.

Beca laughed and placed her hand on her face as she placed her elbow on her knee.

"And in the past year we have known each other she hasn't once gone to a club with me. She always turns my offer down. And believe me, I love the clubs. I can let my sexy ass free and all the boys come to me." Amy stated. "Gives me a break from all the boys who are usually all over me. I get a whole new set."

"I totally get it." Beca sarcastically said with a head nod. "We all need a break every once in a while."

"Damn straight!" Amy said.

Changing the subject Amy said, "You know what Chloe's been through, right?"

"I do." Beca stated. "I assume you do, too?"

"Right. So, you know that if you hurt her, I'll kick yo small ass." She said. "That girl has been through hell and back."

Beca nodded, making sure she got the words, and letting Amy know, as well. "I agree. And believe me, I would never want to hurt Chloe. That's the last thing on my mind."

"Good. She talks about you all the time. She said how close you two were before she left. The shadow really likes you."

"Chloe talks about me?" Truth be told as soon as Beca heard the words her stomach fluttered and she couldn't help but blush. "What else has she said about me?" Beca asked eagerly.

Amy shrugged. "She said you were short. And you are. How tall are you anyway, five foot?"

Beca scoffed. "I am not that short."

"You definitely are, Becs." Chloe said.

Beca turned around and was met with Chloe's eyes looking into her own. They looked slightly brighter, not as dull. Definitely not back to normal, but getting there. Beca was about to say a witty comeback, but looking into Chloe's orbs stopped her, and she knew if she spoke, it would be nothing but word vomit.

Amy cleared her throat, sensing the weird (almost sexual?) tension, making them break eye contact. "See, the shadow agrees." She said. "I'm always right." Amy declared as she stood up. "Back in Australia, that's where I'm from, they used to call me the best physic in all of Tasmania."

Beca nodded skeptically and Chloe laughed since she already knew the story. "Maybe save that story for another day, Amy?" Chloe said.

"Ah, ok." Amy said. "Anyway, I have got to get to work." Don't wait up for me shadow, I'm going to the club again, and I don't want you to worry like last night." Amy made her way out the door with her words.

"Well, she certainly is something else." Beca said with an amused tone. "Is she why you ditched me?" Beca asked, jokingly.

Chloe ducked her head. "Yeah, she was supposed to be back at six and she wasn't, so I got worried. I waited up for her and then when she finally got home, I called you."

"I see. Well, it's fine." Beca said, brushing it off.

Chloe sat next to Beca, a little closer than at the park. Beca smiled slightly and could smell Chloe. She smelt like mint. Really minty. Then she realized it was the burn cream.

"You still up for that coffee?" Chloe asked.

Beca nodded. "That be great. It's already two-thirty and I haven't even had any coffee. I think I'm about to die." Beca said a little over dramatically.

Chloe stood up and walked into the kitchen, "Well, we certainly can't have little Beca run out of steam."

Beca laughed. "I'm not little." She stated.

Chloe only giggled and Beca swooned at the noise. Chloe's laugh was literal music to her ears. She sat patiently as Chloe made their coffee. Chloe then walked back out and sat down.

"It takes a while for it to brew." Chloe said.

Beca nodded and smiled at Chloe. "I figured."

Chloe leaned back into the couch. "So, you still making those amazing mixes?" Chloe asked.

Beca laughed softly and leaned back as well. "Not really."

"What!?" Chloe said and sat up. "Why not?"

Beca shrugged and stayed slouching against the couch.

"There has to be a reason." Chloe said.

"I don't know." Beca said as she twisted her jacket hem between her fingers. "Once you left I just- I guess I had no inspiration." She said quietly.

Chloe blushed and took her bottom lip under her teeth and then half smiled. "Oh."

Beca nodded sheepishly. "Jesse and I own a club and we sometimes play my old mixes. Everyone seems to love them."

"That's because they're amazing." Chloe said with straight face.

Beca laughed. "I wouldn't say that, but thanks, Chlo." Beca said as she glanced up at the brunette.

"I still listen to all the ones you made me. I have so many, I can't even count. But you know which ones my favorite?" Chloe asked with a beaming smile.

Beca smirked. "I think I can take a guess."

"What then?" Chloe asked eagerly.

"Well, if I remember correctly... I made you one with your so called lady jam on it, and some other songs. I'm pretty sure you wore that CD out in the first week."

Chloe blushed profusely.

Beca smirked again. "Is that still your lady jam, Chlo?" She asked sarcastically.

Chloe laughed. "Not so much. I haven't done that in quite awhile. But yes, that is my favorite one you made me."

Chloe leaned back into the couch again and Beca turned her head to face Chloe. "You still want to be a doctor?" Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged. "I think it's a little too late."

"What? No. If you really want to be one, go for it." Beca said.

"I've thought about it. But I don't want to re-enroll all over again, it took me forever to get into NYU. And I was actually thinking about acting." Chloe said shyly. "And I'm looking for a job at the moment, so there's no use in spending all my time in trying to get into a prestige college."

"Yeah, but you know, if you're looking for a job you could work at the club. I've got a few position to fill."

Chloe shook her head. "I don't think so. That kind of environment makes me even more nervous than I already am." She started to bounce her leg up and down. Beca saw the action, and set her hand on Chloe's knee, halting the movements. "It's ok." Beca softly said. "You don't have to be nervous around me. It's just me. Just Beca."

Chloe nodded slowly. "I can't help it." She barely said.

"I get it. But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me." Beca said. "I want to be here for you."

Chloe set her hand on top of Beca's and ran her thumb over the other girls, not knowing how much of an effect she had on the other brunettes now rapid beating heart. "I do feel comfortable around you." Chloe said. "Even after all this time, it's like nothing happened when I'm with you. The knee shaking is just a bad habit. You make me feel... I don't know. Safe. All my worries wash away and I feel like Chloe again."

Beca turned her head so they were facing each other. "Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel like the old Beca."

They looked at each other for another moment before Chloe heard the coffee pot beep, signaling it was ready. She swallowed some spit and broke the burning eye contact and walked into the kitchen.

Beca looked at her the whole time she walked away. _God, she is so beautiful._

Chloe walked back out with two cups, one with cream and sugar, and one black.

"Here you go." Chloe said as she handed one to Beca and sat back down.

"You remembered." Beca stated.

"Of course. I couldn't forget." Chloe said as she took a sip.

Beca smiled and drank some. "Ahhh." She let out. "So damn good."

Chloe giggled. "You really love coffee, huh?"

Beca nodded, and just as she was about to speak, her phone rang. She pulled it out and saw it was Jesse.

"Oh, seriously?" Beca groaned.

She loved Jesse, but hated when he called. He always wanted something. Whether it be to come to the club and set up, or meet with him and Aubrey. She was spending time with Chloe, and didn't want any interruptions.

"What's wrong?" Chloe asked.

Beca shook her head. "It's Jesse. I should answer." Beca said.

Chloe nodded and stood up. "I'll give you some privacy."

"Oh, no. You don't have to, really. It's just Jesse." Beca said.

"You sure?" Chloe asked.

Beca nodded with a reassuring smile, so Chloe sat down.

"What?" Beca snapped.

"Whoa, calm down. What's wrong with you?" Jesse asked.

"What do you want?" Beca asked.

"I was just wondering if you could work earlier tonight. Maybe around opening time?"

Beca groaned. "You're kidding?"

"Why would I kid?" Jesse asked. "And what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing." Beca spat.

"Are you still upset about Chloe?" He asked.

Beca looked to Chloe and saw her looking at her attentively.

"No, she apologized. And we talked today. She explained everything, so I know everything. I'm at her apartment right now."

Chloe looked slightly uncomfortable, so Beca placed her hand on Chloe's this time and gave it a quick squeeze.

"How you holding on to the information?" Jesse asked.

"Fine. I feel really bad for her." Beca said quietly. "She's been through a lot." Beca said as she looked Chloe in the eyes. Chloe half smiled. She looked almost grateful that she understood and that she wasn't harsh. Beca was giving her a second chance, basically.

"I don't know everything. All I know is that she left cause she was pregnant, then had a miscarriage, and she has some scars, and now she is back here cause she had an abusive girlfriend."

Beca's mouth dropped, she sat up and let go of Chloe's hand. "What!?" She spat. "Are you fucking with me, Jesse? You're joking!? Right?" She rambled out.

Chloe sat up a whispered, "What's wrong?"

"That's what I heard from Stacie." Jesse said.

Beca hung up and sat in silence with a scowl.

"Becs." Chloe said."You ok?"

Beca nodded. "Fine. Yeah, I'm fine." She said and stood up. "I just, I should probably get going. It's three and I have work at five." Beca said, slightly frazzled.

Chloe nodded and stood up so she could walk Beca to the door. "I'll call you and we can hang out again?" Chloe asked hopeful.

Beca couldn't resist. She put a smile on her face. "Of course. I'll text you later."

* * *

><p>Beca walked into the club hastily to find Jesse. She was met with none other than Stacie. Stacie worked at the bar portion of the club and she was just getting ready for her shift.<p>

"Stacie!" Beca yelled.

The brunette turned around. "Hey, what's gotten into you, midget?" Stacie said as she noticed the brunettes demeanor.

Beca stopped in front of her. "Chloe doesn't really have a girlfriend, right?" Beca uttered.

Stacie shrugged. "She used to, I guess. She called me the other day and she explained some things to me. Since I knew nothing like the rest of us. All she said was that she got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and she's moving back to the city with one of her friends, because she broke up with her girlfriend."

Beca started to breath heavily. _Why am I freaking out?_

"She had a girlfriend?" Beca voiced, slightly sad.

Stacie nodded. "It wasn't for long. The girl was abusive, so Chloe's friend Amy decided to take Chloe with her back to the city before she got into trouble like she had with Tom. You knew that she's bi, didn't you?"

_Holy shit._ "I need to sit down." Beca stated. She walked over to a bar stool and put her head on the counter. "I knew, but I didn't think she ever acted on it."

Stacie walked over and placed her hand on Beca's back. "I know that you still love her, but she's been through a lot. More than you can comprehend."

Beca looked up. "What? How do you know that I love her?"

Stacie laughed. "Midget, everyone knows that. And everyone knows she loves you too."

Beca shook her head. "She doesn't love me like I love her."

Stacie sighed. "Maybe your right. But, don't try and rush things with her. I noticed shes kind of, I don't know, off? She's a great girl despite her mistakes, but Beca, she has a knack for abusive relationships. They say once you've been in one it's easy to get into another. She's been through a lot of shit from other people. And you need to be there for her, now more than ever." She said and patted Beca's back one last time before she walked off.

_Chloe doesn't love me. Chloe doesn't love me. Chloe doesn't love me. Not like I love her._ Beca repeated in her head.

_This is going to be a long night._

* * *

><p>Later that night Beca was waiting in the elevator up to her apartment and checked her phone.<p>

Three texts and five missed calls from Chloe

"I really need to check my phone more."

_'Hey, Becs. Hope you have a good night at work. And whatever you're mad about, I really hope I didn't do anything to anger you.'_

_Yeah, cause you being amazingly sweet isn't going to help. _Beca thought.

_'I hate being alone, do you want to come back over?'_

_'Beca, please come back.'_

She dialed Chloe and the girl picked up right away, but as soon as the doors opened, she saw Chloe standing in front of Beca's apartment door.

Beca hung up and half smiled at Chloe. She was mad, she knew it was irrational, she knew it wasn't fair. But when she saw Chloe smiling at her, a real, genuine smile, the anger went away and was replaced with warmth. And Beca knew that the warmth wouldn't go away any time soon if Chloe was around.

"What are you doing here? It's midnight." Beca said as she walked up to her door. "And what's with the texts? You kind of scared me, Chlo."

"I know." Chloe said. "I don't like being alone."

Beca nodded. "Isn't Amy home?"

"No, she's never home at night. I don't know how the girl does it. She works in the afternoon, goes out at night, and sleeps in the morning."

Beca chuckled. "She really is something else." Beca stated as she started to unlock her door, she let Chloe in first. They walked in and Chloe nodded her head as she walked through the place. "This is really nice, Becs."

"Oh, thanks." Beca said. "How did you know where I lived?" Beca asked as they sat down.

Chloe turned and pursed her lips. "I called Aubrey."

Beca laughed. "Is that how you find things out about me now?"

Chloe chucked. "I just- ok, don't think I'm crazy when I tell you this..."

Beca nodded, letting Chloe go on.

Chloe turned her body so she was sitting with her legs crossed on the couch and facing Beca, as Beca was leaning back on the couch with her feet up.

"I smelled cigarette smoke in my building, and whenever I smell it I get panic attacks. It depends on how strong it is, but thankfully it wasn't too bad. It makes me think of Tom and how whenever he lit one at home, he would you know, hold it to my neck. I just can't help it but freak out. My doctor said it is normal, but it always happens." Chloe confessed.

"Oh, Chlo, I'm sorry. Is that what happened?" Beca softly asked.

Chloe nodded. "I'm sorry for coming over so late. I would've gone to Stacie, but she's still working and the only other person I know here is Jesse, but I get the feeling he hates me. So, I went to you."

"Ah, so I'm a last resort." Beca said and stood up with a smirk.

Chloe's eyes widened as she saw a Beca walk away. "No, of course not! I just didn't want to bother you." Chloe said as she stood up and followed Beca. "You're the first person I thought of, but I didn't want be a burden since it's so late."

Beca stopped at her room and smiled. "Chlo, you're not a burden. You can come by anytime you want."

Chloe smiled. "Thanks."

Beca walked in her room and Chloe stood at the door.

"You can come in." Beca said.

_This isn't like Chloe at all. Usually, she would just barge in. She wouldn't apologize for coming over cause she knows it's ok. I hope it's just the time gap and not Chloe._

Chloe walked in and sat down on the foot of Beca's bed.

"Did you want to stay the night it something?" Beca asked as she walked out of her bathroom.

"Oh, I can totally go-"

"Chlo. You can stay if you want. We used to do this all the time, remember?"

Chloe nodded and half smiled. Beca walked over to her closet, "Here," She said as she pulled out sleep shorts and a tank top. She handed them to Chloe. "I know how you get really hot at night." Beca said.

"You remember that?" Chloe asked.

"Well, yeah. You're like a furnace." Beca stated at walked back over to her closet. "Especially sense you always just had to cuddle right up next to me."

"Sorry." She weakly said.

"Oh, it's cool." Beca said. _It's not like I minded it._ She got out some pajamas pants and an old t-shirt and motioned to the bathroom. "You want to change in the bathroom?"

Chloe nodded and stood up. They each changed and when Beca was done she sat in bed, and saw she had a text from Noelle.

_'Can I come over tomorrow morning? Haven't seen you in forever.'_

Beca's eyes widened. Chloe was there, obviously they're friends, and nothing will go down, but it might look slightly suspicious.

Beca replied,_ 'How about twelve and we can get some lunch?'_

Chloe then walked out and saw Beca engrossed in her phone. She giggled and went to set her clothes down. Beca noticed Chloe and how she leaned down to set her clothes by her purse, and she couldn't help but check her out. _I'm so creepy. But, seriously she has the nicest body. Who can blame me?_

Chloe turned around and Beca snapped her head up, making Chloe blush.

"I hope you don't mind, I used an extra tooth brush." Chloe said as she stood by Beca's bed.

"Uh, ew." Beca said, jokingly. "I don't want Chloe germs in my house."

Chloe's face fell and she looked flustered. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

Beca sat up and felt guilty. "No, I was joking. Of course you can use a tooth brush."

_Oh God, she is really timid. I feel so bad._

Chloe nodded and continued to stand nervously.

"Do you not want to share the same bed?" Beca asked. "Cause if you don't I can sleep in the spare room."

"If that's ok, we can." Chloe said softly.

Beca chortled. _This Chloe is so shy and cute._ "Well, you always loved to share a bed, so if you still want to."

Chloe nodded and scooted in, she laid on one side as Beca laid on the other.

"So, uh, I'm sorry again for coming over so late. I was scared and-"

Beca sat up and pulled Chloe with her. They were now sat with their legs crossed, facing each other. Beca grabbed Chloe's hand in hers and looked into her scared blue eyes.

"Please stop apologizing. I don't care that you're here." Beca said.

Chloe's face fell once again.

Noticing it Beca said, "Wait, no. I mean, I care you're here! I'm glad you're here. I meant that you can come over whenever you want, anytime you want and I won't mind."

Chloe started to tear up.

_Fuck, why am I so bad with words? This is why Chloe was my only friend in high school. I suck at talking._

"Why?" Chloe said.

Beca was surprised to say the least. _Why? Well, I love you for one. More than anything._

"Why... Why? Why what?" Beca asked.

Chloe's mouth parted, but nothing came out, only a squeak. "I'm a bad person. I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve your compassion. I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve you." Chloe voiced out.

"Chlo, I forgive you." Beca stated. "I want you here. And if you need to have someone with you to feel better, then it can be me. Even if you don't need me, I want to be there when you do. Because I still need you."

Chloe let out a shaky breath. "I need you, but I can't give anything back. I'm nothing. I'm like a shell of myself. I feel nothing half the time. And today-" Chloe stated to cry. "today was the first time in five years that I've felt something. My bones weren't hallow, and my heart was full. Spending time with you made me feel like a person again."

Beca thought for a moment. _If I could I would just kiss you and hug you until you stopped crying. I would do anything to make you, you again._

"You don't have to give anything to me. Just let me give to you, that's the only thing I'm asking." Beca said gently. She placed her fingers on Chloe's chin and lifted it so they were looking into each other's eyes. "You can keep me in the dark with all your problems, hell, all I know is darkness, but when you have a panic attack because you smell smoke, or you're sad and lonely, we don't have to be apart, because I'll be there in an instant. I _want_ to be there in an instant."

Chloe half smiled and wiped her tears. "Thank you."

Beca smiled and they each laid down as a deafening silence washed over.

"Are you tired? Cause I know you have sleep problems." Chloe suddenly voiced.

Beca turned her head and was met with Chloe's blue eyes once again. _Damn._ "No. I usually don't end up falling asleep until usually six or later. It's a good thing I don't work until night time."

Chloe covered her mouth to stifle a yawn.

_How can she be so cute?_

"You can sleep if you want." Beca said softly as she saw Chloe's eyes droop.

Chloe nodded and turned her back to Beca. "Goodnight." Chloe said softly.

"Night." Beca said softly back.

Beca plugged her phone in and turned her back to Chloe. _I wonder why she doesn't want to cuddle._

"Beca?" Chloe barely said. She turned over and so Beca did too. They were face to face and Beca's breath hitched because of how close they were.

"Can we cuddle?" Chloe asked gently.

Beca smiled a wide smile which made Chloe smile, as well. She would never admit it to anyone, but Beca loved cuddling with Chloe more than anything.

"I just really miss that." Chloe said. "Cuddling with you." Chloe added.

Beca nodded, she pulled Chloe into her and Chloe turned so she was her little spoon. Beca put her arm around Chloe's waist, a little hesitantly, and then when she felt Chloe rest into her, so she did the same.

"I really missed this, too." Beca whispered as they were tangled into each other.

And in that moment as they were curled up for the first time in five years, on the same day they rekindled, Beca knew that she could never stay mad at Chloe. No matter what the situation was. Beca needed to be here for her broken friend. Holding Chloe in her arms felt so right and it made all her anger or frustrations subdue, and she knew that she was still definitely, indescribably still in love with her best-friend.

* * *

><p>AN: In the first chapter I mentioned Amy, but let's just pretend it was a different person and this Amy in this chapter is Fat Amy. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - I Have a Knack**

Chloe's body seemed to fit perfectly with Beca's small frame. Each time Chloe would shift in her sleep, she would either turn into Beca, or on her back. Beca could see Chloe's face become uneasy with nervousness and her body would tense. And each time Beca would wait for Chloe to calm in her sleep and just let Chloe ease back into her.

Her body was like a furnace, though, so after a few hours of just holding Chloe and trying to make her feel as comfortable and calm as possible, Beca made sure the girl was in a deep enough sleep that if she got out of bed Chloe would not wake. Chloe was never a light sleeper, but Beca was afraid things may have changed like so many others did.

Beca climbed out of bed at around four-thirty. Her body was weak, her eyes were burning, but her mind wouldn't let her sleep. She carefully walked out of her room, making a swift entrance into the living room grabbing her laptop, she sat down on the couch and turned it on. As she waited she thought about what she wanted to do about Noelle.

When she was holding Chloe earlier, she didn't think about Noelle once. So, she figured now was a good enough time.

Beca had no other real thoughts than wishing she was the one to hold Chloe every night, that she was the one to give Chloe good morning kisses, goodnight kisses, and in between kisses. She wished she could do the little things with Chloe. For example, be able to draw lazy patterns on Chloe's back like she had done earlier as she tried to ease Chloe to sleep, walk through Madison Park with Chloe hand in hand, and it actually meaning something. But Beca knew that job wasn't hers. And they were the things she tried doing with Noelle, but failed.

She wanted so badly to be happy with Noelle, she wanted to _want_ to see her, she wanted to enjoy going out to dinner and watching movies with her, she wanted to feel comfortable cuddling. She wanted so badly to feel something for the girl. Not that being around her was painful, just clearly not what you're supposed to feel.

And then it hit her. She _liked_ Noelle, but she _loved_ Chloe. That was the big difference.

Obviously, Beca knew she loved Chloe, but she didn't put the two together just yet.

Beca wanted to feel the way she felt around Chloe with Noelle. She wanted to feel the same warmth, the same butterflies, the same happiness. The same ache in her heart when she left Chloe's apartment earlier as when she leaves Noelle. Beca wanted so badly to have her brain malfunction around Noelle as it did with Chloe. The pure joy she felt around Chloe, Beca wanted to feel around Noelle. But she didn't have those feelings, and she felt guilty about it.

Once her laptop turned on, she huffed, then went to her music selection as her eyes bugged around the titles. None that she thought would work for her current mood.

Acrid mixed with perplexed.

Beca surprised her self with the mature word choice, but nonetheless she felt it. The sourness invaded her heart and the confusion dipped into her brain. After searching for the perfect songs for what seemed like hours, and having no such luck, she closed her laptop and set her head in her hands.

Beca sat and sat trying to figure out if she should break off her relationship, or wade it out. After a forever of thinking, Beca heard a creak and a small voice say, "Becs?"

She looked up and saw a heavy breathing Chloe standing in her bedroom doorway. It was dark, but Beca could see her silhouette moving.

"What's wrong?" Beca asked.

Chloe shook her head, and her mouth parted. She looked like she was trying to speak, her mouth did move, but nothing would come out.

"Chlo, come here." Beca said gently.

Chloe walked over, and Beca patted the seat next to her. She sat and started playing with her fingers as she kept her eyes glued to the floor. Beca put her hand on Chloe's, stopping the nervous jitters.

After a moment of hesitation, Beca intertwined their hands. She was afraid it would scare Chloe, but luckily Chloe returned the gesture and gripped Beca's small hand.

Chloe's heart freaked out, she was surprised by the rapid rate it was now beating, she couldn't help but give a shy smile as her eyes were interested in anything but Beca's.

Beca tucked the stray cascading hairs behind Chloe's ear and placed her hand on her cheek, trying to get her to look at her, but she wouldn't.

Beca dropped her hand and placed it on her leg. She sat for a moment, wondering how she was about to approach this situation, not knowing what was wrong with her. Beca wasn't good with words, she knew she wasn't a good comforter, but when it came to Chloe, it was like she had a knack for compassion.

"Did you have a bad dream or something?" Beca asked.

"No." Chloe whispered, hoarsely. "I woke up and forgot where I was, I-" She cleared her throat. "started to remember, and then when you weren't there, I got scared." She said with a huff at the end. "God, I am pathetic." Chloe hissed as tears threatened her eyes.

"No, no, Chlo. You aren't at all." Beca cooed as she wiped a few stray tears. "You want to go back to sleep?"

Chloe nodded weakly. She went to stand up, but Beca stopped her.

"Let's just stay here," Beca said. Chloe sat down as Beca scooted her body over so she could lay on the couch. Beca smiled up at her, "I know you want to cuddle, so come here." Beca said.

Chloe lips formed into a sheepish smile as she laid between Beca and the couch. Beca draped her arm over Chloe's back, and Chloe rested her head on Beca's chest. Beca then grabbed a throw blanket and draped it over them. Neither one knew why this felt so right to be laying together, but at the same time they weren't about to question the intense feelings that were bubbling.

"Thank you." Chloe whispered.

Beca took a leap of faith, as she only pressed a kissed to Chloe's forehead and started to run her fingers through Chloe's locks to calm her, and soon enough they both fell into a quiet sleep.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Chloe started to stir. Her eyes cracked open and she smiled when she saw that Beca was sleeping. Chloe was fully aware of her insomnia filled nights. She had her head rested on Beca's chest as it was rising up and down and Beca's arms were rested gently around Chloe's back as they were when they first fell asleep.<p>

Chloe sat up slightly and admired the other girl. She watched as Beca's chest rose, then fell, she watched Beca's lips purse, and then become flat again. She admired her pale, yet radiant in a way, skin. How her brunette hair fell so gently around her shoulders as she slept. Beca looked simply a perfect to her.

She got a warm, new feeling in her chest that spread through her body as she watched Beca in her most vulnerable state. Chloe then stayed looking at Beca's lips. They looked soft. Plump. Smooth.

_Maybe if I just lean in..._ Chloe thought and bent down. _Just a little..._ Chloe started to get close to Beca's lips when a bell went off in her head and she laid back down. _What the hell am I doing? She's sleeping... And were best-friends... All right, best-friends who have kissed a few times, initiated by me... And never her, since were just friends. Just friends like we always have been. Only friends. Just friends. And that's all we will ever be. _

Chloe closed her eyes and tried to repress her confusion away for another time.

* * *

><p><strong>*knock*<strong>

One minute later.

***knock* *knock***

Another minute later.

"Beca!" A voice yelled. "It's me."

The knocks kept coming.

Beca and Chloe were sound asleep, but as the knocks became more violent Beca began to wake up. She opened her eyes and immediately smiled when she saw Chloe laying next to her. _Even when she sleeps shes beautiful._ And then she heard, "Beca!" And more hard knocks.

Her mouth dropped and she covered it. "Shit." Beca stood up. "It's already twelve!?" Beca whispered to herself. She ran a hand through her hair and ran up to the door, "Just a second!"

She ran back over to Chloe and pondered if she should wake her. She looked so calm and peaceful, and Beca sure as hell didn't want to wake her.

"Beca!?"

_SHIT._

Beca was absolutely positive that Noelle would assume Beca was cheating on her. The girl revealed she had been cheated on in the past on their third date. Beca didn't want to upset her. At all. She may not love her, but she does care for her.

Beca walked over to the door and took a breath, she turned around and realized she couldn't even tell Chloe was on the couch because of the way it's facing. She figured she would just tell Noelle to meet her at a cafe or something. _Yeah, that works._

She opened the door and put a smile on her face, "Hey-" but before she could get anything else out, Noelle barged in and hugged Beca.

"I've missed you!" She yelled and grabbed Beca. Beca tensed up and she didn't know what to say. _Please don't wake Chloe. _"Yeah, I've missed you, too." She said quietly as she reciprocated the hug.

Noelle let go and smiled widely, "So," she began to walk over to the couch, Beca panicked, grabbed her arms, turned her back around, and kissed her. Their lips moved together, but Beca couldn't help but feel nothing as they kissed. She pulled apart and they smiled at each other. Still nothing on Beca's part.

Beca's plan failed and she began to walk over to the couch again, Beca closed her eyes and waited for the turmoil.

"As I was-" Beca let out a breath as she heard her stop. "Whose this?" She said quietly.

Beca opened her eyes and could see confusion and slightly hurt laced through Noelles body.

"My friend." Beca stated.

She nodded and walked back over to Beca. "The friend who you stood me up for?" She asked.

Beca let out a breath. "Yes, but were just friends."

Noelle nodded and started to pace. "Just friends?" She said loudly.

Beca winced and looked over to see if Chloe stirred. _Geez, she's still as heavy a sleeper as ever._

But no, Chloe woke, she noticed someone was here, but wasn't sure what she should do, so she stayed put.

"Beca!?" Noelle said. "How long have you two been "hanging out"?"

_Who the hell is this? And why is she yelling? She's pretty, though. Her hair is brown like mine, and her body is killer. Wow._ Chloe admired her body before Noelle stopped pacing and walked back over.

"Well, we've been friends forever," Beca said. "and she just moved back to the city so we were hanging out yesterday, and she came over, so I let her stay the night."

"Oh, so she can stay the night, but I can't? I never stay the night with you, you only come to my place."

_They're dating._ Chloe realized. _That's the girlfriend._

Beca sighed. "It's different."

_It is different._ Chloe thought. _She seems bitchy, why is Beca dating her?_

Noelle raised her eyebrows.

_Shit._

"It's different? How is it different!?" She yelled.

"Ok, please calm down. You're going to wake her up." Beca said gently.

Chloe smiled at how sweet Beca was being.

She scoffed. "Oh, right. Because she is just so important? I mean, duh. You stood me up for her. So, she must be something special to you." Noelle hissed.

Beca shook her head. "No, she's not special!"

_Not special._ Chloe repeated.

Beca groaned when she heard Noelle scoff. "She is, but-" Chloe smiled slightly.

Noelle shook her head again. "Do you like her?" She asked bitterly.

"No. I have no feelings for her. Whatsoever. We are just best-friends!"

_See. Best-friends. Nothing more._

_Chloe's got to be awake by now._ Beca thought.

"And even if I did I wouldn't just let her stay in my house if I knew you would be coming over. That would just be stupid." _So stupid. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have told her it was okay to come._

Noelle nodded. She stepped forward and looked Beca in the eyes, "Do you still like me or are you lying?" She asked sternly.

Without thinking, Beca blurted, "Of course I like you. You're great." She started thinking about Chloe as she spoke. "You're pretty." _So fucking beautiful._ "You're smart." _You could be a doctor, for Gods sake._ "You're sweet."

Beca smiled sweetly, "Of course I like you, Chlo."

After a moment of realization, Noelles eyes got wide, and Beca's mouth dropped and she covered it once again.

Chloe's eyes shot open and she was frozen still. _Beca likes me?_

Noelle scrunched her nose and nodded. "Right. Cause that's my name." She said and walked out, slamming the door.

Beca continued to stand with her mouth covered. "Oh my God." She muttered. "I seriously said that?"

Chloe didn't know what to do. She stayed in her current position. _What just happened?_

Beca hesitantly walked over to Chloe and saw she had her eyes open and still laying down.

"Did you hear any of that?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded absent mindedly as she processed what Beca had said.

Beca sat down by Chloe's legs. "How much?"

Chloe sat up and ran her hand through her hair. "All of it," She said. "But it's ok."

"I'm sorry, Chlo. I should've told you she would be coming over. I didn't think we would sleep this late in the first place."

Chloe smiled. "It's ok. I should be the one apologizing, I just caused a fight between you and your girlfriend." She said.

Beca was silent._ Did she not hear what I just said?_

"Can I ask you a question?" Beca blurted.

Chloe nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me you moved back only because you broke up with your girlfriend?"

Chloe closed her eyes. "How did you find that out?" She asked.

"Stacie and Jesse."

Chloe nodded. _I'm going to kill them._ "It's true." She said. "I'm sorry I'm stupid; I'm sorry I'm an idiot." Chloe hissed.

Beca furrowed her eyebrows, but before she could speak Chloe was.

"I had a girlfriend. For a month officially. We were friends for about a year. I didn't even have feelings for her, like she did for me. I've been told I don't know how to say no. I met her at the same time as Amy. And-" Chloe let out a shaky breath. "She hit me twice. I deserved it though."

Beca slumped. "Twice? Chloe, no one deserves to be hit.

Chloe huffed and squeezed her eyes shut. She could tell how serious Beca was by the use of her full name.

Beca scooted closer and tried to drape her arm over Chloe's back, but Chloe stopped her.

"No, please stop telling me it's not my fault. Or I don't deserve what's happened to me." Chloe shouted. "Everyone's told me that. My parents, my doctors, the cops, Stacie, Amy, and you. I deserve everything that's happened to me. And you know what!? Saying it isn't my fault, doesn't take anything back or make anything better."

"Well, fuck. You don't! You don't deserve to be hit, you don't deserve to be dehumanized, no one deserves that, Chloe! I mean, sure yeah, maybe a rapist or murder,"

Chloe let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, well. I'm just an easy target," Chloe said. She stood abruptly, walked into Beca's room and got her clothes and bag, she walked back out and saw Beca just sitting on the couch. "I'm gonna go."

Beca nodded, Chloe started to walk to the door.

"Wait," Beca said. Chloe turned around, very hesitantly. "What I said about you, I was worried she woke you up, and your name just slipped-"

Chloe nodded, "I know. Were friends. Best-friends. Just friends. Right?"

"Right." Beca said. _Why does she sound so unsure?_

"Nothing more. No worries. You have a girl-friend and I have," Chloe paused. After a quick smile shot at Beca, Chloe turned, "I have a knack for the wrong people." She mumbled so Beca couldn't hear, and walked out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Slight mention of domestic violence.

**Chapter 6 - Honey**

Noelle left. Chloe left. And now, Beca's contemplating.

_Who do I go to? Noelles mad. Is Chloe? She seemed sad, but not angry._

Beca wondered if she should end it with Noelle, knowing she couldn't pursue Chloe. Not right now anyway. Not with Chloe being so broken. She couldn't take advantage of her mental state. But at the same time, Beca's taking advantage of Noelle by keeping her around, only to repress her feelings for Chloe. Even if Chloe did have feelings for her, this wasn't the right time to let them be known. And Beca was beginning to feel like the right time would never come.

Beca stood up, went into her room, threw some clothes on and walked out the door. _This is for the best._

* * *

><p>Beca knocked and waited patiently.<p>

The door opened and Beca half smiled as she saw her girlfriend poke her head out. She did like Noelle, she was cute, and smart, witty, but not like Chloe.

_Of course my mind just goes to Chloe._

Chloe was cute in a way that never gets old, smart in the sense that she would surprise you with the knowledge she had pertained, witty in the way that she came up with comebacks in a snap. Something Beca was seriously jealous of, but this new Chloe was different. She was shy, scared, and quiet. If Beca tried to joke around and be her sarcastic self, it was like Chloe's wit was replaced with utter fear.

"Hey," Beca said.

"Hi." Noelle said, slightly cold.

"Can I come in?"

Noelle nodded and let Beca come in, and she lead them to her couch. Beca sat right next to her, a little closer than she felt comfortable with, but stayed put.

Beca looked into her eyes. _She really is beautiful. But not like Chloe. No, not even. No one compares to Chloe. I can explain Noelles beauty. Her eyes are a stunning and unique hazel color, her nose is adorable and her body is seriously killer. But Chloe; Chloe's beauty is not explainable. It's like, Chloe doesn't even have to remotely try. She can be sitting staring at a wall and you would be entranced. The girls beauty was so captivating, even trying to explain it, could leave you tongue tied and dazed._

"Look, I'm sorry about Friday night, and Saturday night, and this morning," Beca said. "but she has been through so much in the last few years, and she needs me right now."

Noelle nodded and looked down.

_Just say it. Rip it off like a band aid. Quick and easy._

"Are you breaking up with me?" She quietly asked.

_Fuck_. Beca may try to convince everyone shes a hard ass, but she hated to disappoint people, and hearing how sad she sounded, Beca just couldn't do it.

"No," Beca stated. _I'm such a bitch._ "I'm just letting you know the situation. Chloe, that's her name, we have been friends our whole lives. Ever since we were four an she sat next to me on the first day of preschool, we had been inseparable. Then one day things happened and we lost connection. Now she's back, and like I said, she needs me."

Noelle nodded. "I'm sorry I got mad," She said sheepishly. "I got worried that you cheated."

Beca bobbed her head. "I get it. We just need to start spending more time together is all."

Noelle half smiled and she and Beca looked at each other's lips, before Beca leaned in and molded their lips. It was actually nice, Beca had to admit. It got slightly heated quite fast, and Beca pulled back, then sighed when she saw the hurt look on her face.

"Sorry." Beca muttered and surged her lips forward, flinging them backwards, with Noelle landing on her back.

Beca kissed her with as much passion as she could muster, hoping this really was the right decision.

* * *

><p>Beca was laying with Noelle in her bed, naked, (They did have good sex, to be honest.) when she got a phone call. She sat up and kissed her softly and then went to pick it up.<p>

_Chloe._

"Hey, you ok?" Beca asked, slightly worried. She hasn't called to check on Chloe since she left due to her unplanned escapades.

"No, I'm not. I don't know what's wrong, but," Chloe paused and Beca could her breathing becoming short and quick. "I can't breath. And I feel sick, I feel like I'm going to pass out and I can smell smoke, but I'm positive no ones smoking, the windows are closed."

Beca shot up. "I'll be right there, Chlo. Take deep breaths and don't let yourself pass out." She hung up and quickly searched for her clothing.

"What's wrong?" Noelle asked.

"Chloe, something wrong with her." Beca said as she pulled her pants on, and frantically messed with her bra.

"Oh."

Beca sighed, barely getting her shirt on and then throwing her coat on as she put her boots on.

"I'm sorry, we can spend all day together tomorrow if you want? I know it's your day off and I can make sure I'm not working." Beca said as she searched for her bag.

Noelle nodded. "Sounds good."

Beca smiled and pecked her lips. "I'll text you." She declared as she made her way out quickly.

Noelle huffed. "So much for spending more time together."

* * *

><p>"Chlo, open up. It's Beca." Beca said breathlessly as she banged on the door. She tried opening it, but it was locked.<p>

Beca got there in record time. She knew from Noelles place it would take at least a half an hour. She made it in fifteen minutes, some how. Now she was more than tired.

"Chlo!" Beca said again. "Fuck." She muttered under her breath.

The door opened and Beca let out a breath as she saw Chloe. "Are you ok?" Beca gently asked.

Chloe nodded and Beca walked in. "What happened?"

Chloe didn't answer, she sat down on her couch and closed her eyes momentarily. "I don't know," She weakly said. Beca sat next to her.

"Are you okay, now?" Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged, after a few moments Chloe still said nothing.

"Why did you leave earlier?" Beca asked.

Chloe looked up at her, in disbelief. "Why did I," Chloe scoffed. "Why did I leave? Maybe because I was mad. I was upset. I'm tired. I'm tired of everything. I just want to sleep. I want to go to bed and never wake up if it will just make everything stop."

Beca was dumbfounded. _Why is she so upset?_

"Chlo, I didn't ask you to leave. You stopped talking mid sentence and walked out the door," Beca said. "And I don't understand if you're mad at me or what?"

Chloe pursed her lips and started to shake her leg as she started the hand jitters. Beca stared at her waiting for an answer. She thought about trying to ease her, but found it was no use. Chloe was honestly a nervous wreck. She was tensed up, as her eyes were struggling with salty tears. Chloe closed her eyes and set her head in her hands.

"I'm not mad at you." Chloe barely said.

"So, you left because you were tired? Upset?" Beca asked.

"I don't know," Chloe sighed. "Nothing!" She yelled. Beca jumped at the sound.

Chloe huffed. "I'm tired and I feel nauseous. I want to just go away and never come back. I feel gross and I just want to shower." Chloe voiced. "So, please. Can you just," She paused and looked up to Beca. "go."

Beca titled her head to the side. "You asked me to come," She stated. "So, no. I won't go. I told you that I would be here for you. I told you that if you're having problems, call me and I'll be there in an instant," Beca was surprisingly calm, even though she was rather angry and confused at Chloe's weird behavior. "I told you that you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but I want you to. I want to hear it. So, no. I'm not leaving," She finished with.

With no answer from Chloe, Beca said, "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

Beca huffed. "Fine," She stated. "Have you taken your medicine today? And how's your neck?"

"I took it. My necks fine. I don't think they're ever gonna go away." Chloe sadly said.

"Well, you're still beautiful." Beca genuinely said.

_I don't know why I can say these things to Chloe now. I've never been comfortable telling her she's beautiful, but now, I feel like I have to say it._

Chloe half smiled and covered her face. "I really am an idiot," She mumbled.

Beca chortled, "A little," She said, then she saw Chloe's face become full of sadness, and Beca knew she shouldn't have said that. She lifted Chloe's chin and smiled at her. "I was kidding. How about we finally go dye your hair back to red? And then we go to a late lunch. My treat."

Chloe shyly smiled. "Okay. I'm going to take a shower. If you want you can stay here and then when I'm ready we will go?"

Beca nodded. "Sounds good."

Chloe stood up and scurried into her room.

_Okay, something's wrong with her. She left with no explanation, asked me to come over, then wanted me to leave. If she's lying to me about taking her pills..._

Beca's thoughts were broken when she heard the front door open and saw Amy walk in.

"Oh, hey, it's you again," Amy paused. "Wait, have you been here since yesterday? Did you and shadow..." Amy trailed off making some weird motions with her hands that Beca couldn't quite figure out, until Amy made a kissy face.

Her eyes went wide, "OH! No, no! Chloe and I- no! We're friends, I- I have a girlfriend." Beca stated.

"You do? You're a lady lover? Damn, I was right. My gaydar is amazing, if I do say so myself." Amy stated proudly.

Beca smirked and shook her head. Amy walked over and sat next to Beca.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Beca asked.

Amy shrugged. "Ahhh... Ehhh... No. I work whenever I want to."

"Really? What do you do?" Beca asked.

Amy leaned into Beca and raised an eyebrow, "Very high tech things that I am not aloud to discuss with midgets."

Beca scowled. "I'm not a midget."

Amy shrugged. "Your legs say otherwise, short stack,"

"Can I ask you something?" Beca said. "About Chloe?"

"Shoot."

Beca shifted, then tucked some hair behind her ear. "Do you know if Chloe has ever, uh, not taken her medicine before?"

"Ah, yeah. Sometimes she doesn't take it, and she'll get really sad. Event more sad than she already is. Sometimes she gets mad and shuts people out. I learned that the hard way," Amy revealed. "When Sarah and I first met-"

"Sarah? Her ex?" Beca interrupted.

"Yep," Amy said, popping the 'p'. "When we first met her she still had some really bad burns and still some bruising, and she wasn't on the medication for it yet. Her and Sarah became pretty close, and Sarah made sure she took her medicine. She took real good care of Chloe," Amy laughed. "Like the time I wrestled a crocodile and dingo simultaneously, they were that close. Except they didn't really wrestle, I don't think at least. Too bad the bitch hurt her."

_Chloe's not taking her medicine. I can feel it._ "What exactly did this bitc- er, this Sarah girl do to Chloe?" Beca asked.

"Ah, mm, no. Uh-uh. I can't tell you. Classified."

Beca shook her head. "No. I need to know. Chloe said she hit her, but it was twice. Is that it?"

"That's all the shadow said?" Amy asked. "Ah, well. Then she must not want you to know."

"Amy,"

"FAT Amy," She corrected.

"Sorry," Beca said, putting her hands in mock surrender. "Fat Amy, you have to tell me. Chloe is extremely important to me, and if I don't know everything, then I can't help her in full."

Amy nodded. "You can't tell her in told you. Or I'm going to get my fellow gang member CR to beat the shit out of you, midget."

Beca laughed, but then saw how serious Amy's face became and gulped. "Okay. I promise."

"Now," Amy said as she leaned into Beca, "Sarah would hit her, yes, Chloe didn't want to have sex with her, because she is not comfortable with her body imagine. And so Sarah would also verbally abuse her. It was even worse than Tom, from what she's told me. She would say no one would even want her with her scars, bruises and the burns. She told her that she was lucky to be with her, and that shes a piece of shit basically. Never repeat what I just told you. She has never told anyone but me."

Beca nodded. "Thanks, Amy."

Amy stood up, "No problem, midget. So, if the shadow asks where I am just tell her I went out clubbing." Amy stated and walked back into her room.

"Whoa."

After about five more minutes Chloe came back with damp hair, dark wash jeans, a sweater, and boots on. Beca hadn't noticed her since she was very pensive at the moment.

"Becs, you ready?" Chloe asked.

Beca's head snapped up and she had her eyebrows knitted together. Beca wasn't one to call people out if they lied to her, but Chloe was lying. And Beca's angry because, for one, Chloe never used to lie. About anything. She was the bluntest person in the whole world according to Beca. I mean, she told Beca was song she uses to get herself off. She's mad because Chloe is closing herself off, and that's supposed to be Beca's job.

"Yeah, we can go as soon as you take your pills," Beca stated.

"I took them this earlier," Chloe said. "I only take them once a day."

Beca shook her head and walked passed Chloe towards her room, "Beca," Chloe warned. "I took them!"

Chloe ran after her and slammed her door before Beca could enter. Chloe stood in front of her door as Beca waited patiently for an explanation.

"Okay, I haven't taken them. Only because I wasn't home yet, and then when I got home I went haywire. So, if you just go wait on the couch, I'll go and take them."

"You better take them."

"I will."

Beca pivoted and walked to the couch, as Chloe let out a breath of relief and walked inside.

* * *

><p>The pair were walking through the crowded streets. No words had been said on either part. They walked fairly close to each other, and Chloe very subtly started inching closer to Beca. She assumed it was because of the mass of people, and not because Chloe wanted to be near her, but then she could feel Chloe's hand brush against hers, she turned her head and saw Chloe looking straight ahead, when Chloe started to play with Beca's fingers. When they used to walk together, Chloe always had a grip on Beca's hand. It was endearing and Beca pretended to hate it, just like she pretended to hate cuddling with Chloe, watching movies with her, doing couple things. When in actuality, Beca lived for Chloe's touch.<p>

"Trying to hold my hand, I see, Beale?" Beca said with a smirk.

Chloe retracted her hand and started walking slightly faster. "Sorry, sorry. I don't know why I, I-" She shook her head quickly. "I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

Beca sighed and caught up. _I can't keep forgetting to not mess around with her._

"It's okay," Beca said. She gripped Chloe's hand and laced their fingers. _This isn't cheating? Right? Holding hands with your best-friend? Nope._

Chloe tried not to show how happy she was, but her beaming smile let it be known. Beca chuckled and they continued to walk, and once they got to the small hair salon, they walked in.

"Ready to be red again?" Beca asked.

"More than ready." Chloe answered.

* * *

><p>After the whole hair process Chloe was visibly more happier. Her hair was red again. Not a fiery red like it used to be, but not auburn. Right in the middle.<p>

As they were walking back through the streets, Beca couldn't help but keep her eyes glued to Chloe. Her face wasn't as sunken, and her eyes weren't as dull. She looked like _Chloe. __  
><em>

Beca noticed they weren't holding hands. She really did miss the girls touch, so she slipped her hand in Chloe's slyly.

All thoughts of Noelle were out the window.

Chloe turned her head as they walked and saw Beca smiling at her.

"Hey, gorgeous."

Beca found herself feeling like she had to remind Chloe of just how beautiful she really was, since she knew Chloe didn't feel it. Who wold feel beautiful after what Chloe's endured?

Chloe laughed breathy and shook her head. "Do you have to work tonight?"

"Oh, shit, I'm not sure. I'll find out," Beca said. She made a sharp turn around a corner, making Chloe squeak, "in the mean time, we are going out to dinner."

"Where?" Chloe asked. She gripped Beca's hand tighter, embracing the warmth.

"Well, definitely not the Italian place," Beca said, as Chloe giggled. "How about..." Beca looked around as they walked to see what restaurants were around. "How's this?" She asked as they abruptly stopped in front of a small cafe.

Chloe examined it and nodded. "Sure," she said.

They walked in and Beca dropped Chloe's hand so she could take off her coat, Chloe then realized she still had no coats, only sweaters and jackets.

It was crowded. And Chloe didn't like crowded places. They were waiting in the line if people who were also waiting. Chloe started to twist the back of her earrings, something she developed as a nervous habit, something about it calmed her. Then she began to shake lock her knees, then let them go. She hadn't even noticed she was doing either action until Beca said, "You ok?"

She replied with a curt nod, and then it was their turn.

"Hi, for two." Beca said.

The lady smiled, and grabbed two menus, leading them to a table. They were seated and Beca replied with a, "thank you,"

At first the noise didn't bother Chloe, at first she was glad to be there with Beca. They started aimlessly talking, having a flirty banter that Beca managed not to say anything to scare or worry Chloe with. And then for some reason, she smelt a certain smell. Not smoke exactly, but a definite smell. They had already ordered their food and were basically finished with eating when the smell became strong, and poignant. It was an odor more than anything. It was Toms smell.

Chloe looked around her, knowing it couldn't be Tom. It's not possible. He's in some prison in Arizona, and Chloe's in a cafe in New York with Beca. Seriously, not possible. But Chloe could smell it.

"Hey, gorgeous, what's wrong?" Beca said as she saw Chloe's go back into her shell that she was out of since her hair change.

Chloe's eyebrows furrowed and her mouth parted as she stated to breath heavily, "I'm fine."

"Chlo, what's wrong?" Beca asked, she placed her hand on Chloe's and looked into her eyes.

"I'm fine. I promise. Can we just go?"

Beca nodded. They stood up and Chloe pulled her bag out, "I have some money,"

Beca shook her head. "Nope," she stated, and handed the money to the man in the front. "Becs,"

"No, I told you this was my treat." Beca said as they waited for the change.

"But Becs, I can't just let you pay."

The man laughed, "I totally understand you honey, my boyfriend does the same thing when we go out."

Chloe's eyes widened and Beca only laughed. "See, honey. I'm just being the sweet girlfriend."

Chloe almost choked, her whatever that was going on stared to fade as Beca tried to lighten the mood, and it became pure anxiety. She knew Beca didn't like her. She knew she wasn't good enough for Beca even if the feelings were mutual. Wait, mutual? Her face was a deep red and she looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

Beca only laughed and thanked the man. They began to walk back to Chloe's apartment hand in hand, and she noticed how shy Chloe was about the whole ordeal, and Beca couldn't help but think that if that same situation would've happened in the past, Chloe would've gone to town with embarrassing her. And yeah, Beca did secretly wished the words he spoke were true, but in fact, they were nothing but a dying wish. And maybe, a wish was all they would ever be.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Suicide attempt mentioned.

**Chapter 7 - A Mental Case**

Beca hadn't worked this late in forever. It was three am and she was just walking through the door when she got a phone call from an unknown number. After her and Chloe's dinner she had to go into work. She could tell Chloe was worried about being alone, but really had no choice. She had to work. And maybe learning how to be alone would be good for Chloe, so she bid her goodbye and went off to work where she got a handful of, 'don't lead your girlfriend ons,' mixed with, 'tell Chloe how you feels,' from Jesse and Stacie.

_Easier said than done._

"Hello?" Beca said as she set her bag down and began to take her coat off.

"Hi, yes, is this Beca Mitchell?"

"Yes, this is she." Beca stated, halting all movements.

"Hi, we have a Chloe Beale here at the Central Hospital, she was admitted by a women name Amy, and we just wanted to let you know of her whereabouts, as asked by Amy herself."

Beca's mouth went dry and her mind went blank. _Hospital?_

Her mouth moved, but no words were being formed. After moments of silence she heard, "Ms. Mitchell?

Beca gulped, "What happened?"

"I'm afraid I can't reveal that over the phone."

Beca nodded, even though she knew the women couldn't see her. She hung up and put her coat on, grabbed her bag and began her search of the hospital she had no clue of.

* * *

><p>After two hours of searching, and an hour to get there, Beca arrived. It was around six in the morning, and Beca had never been more thankful for her insomnia.<p>

She hastily walked up to the front desk, "Hi, I got call telling me a Chloe Beale was admitted here, and I would like to see her."

"I'm afraid you will have to wait until the hours start," the women said rudely.

Beca laughed dryly, "Oh, no. I searched for this hospital for two hours, waited on the subway for an hour, and now I'm being told I can't see my best-friend, who is in the hospital, for what ever unknown reason to me because you can't tell me what the hell happened to her or let me even see her?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't let you in. Visiting hours start at eleven again."

Beca groaned and threw her head back, "Please! I need to know if she's okay. I have my ID! And I'm basically part of her family, doesn't that count for anything?"

Beca could tell this women was getting annoyed, but she sure as hell did not give a damn.

"It doesn't, unless you have a twenty-four hour visiting pass. Which I assume you don't have?"

Beca clenched her jaw, "No, but- wait, is her friend Amy up there?"

The nurse nodded, "I assume so. She brought her here at around two, and we had been trying to get ahold of you, but it took too long and you missed your window."

Beca scoffed. _Well, fuck you too, then._ "You said eleven was the start of visiting hours?"

"Eleven." The nurse confirmed.

"Well, then, I'll just wait right here," Beca quipped, "in this little waiting room."

The nurse pursed her lips in the way Aubrey does it when she's angry.

_Damn, I hate that look._

Beca sat and sighed, _I hope Chloe is okay. God, I shouldn't have left her. I could see the fear etched through her. I'm terrible. This is all my fault._

* * *

><p>"Ma'am?" A nurse said as she shook Beca, "Ma'am?<p>

Beca rolled over and fell off the chair, earning a laugh from the nurse.

"It's eight am, and I was told to wake you up. We don't want people to see you sleeping in the waiting room."

Beca nodded and stood up, "Thanks. You're a lot nicer than the other nurse."

She smiled and nodded, "I've been told," she said. "Anyway, let's get you up to your friend?"

Beca furrowed her eyebrows, "Wait, I was told visiting hours start at eleven?"

"That's for people who aren't family, and I was told you're part of her family? She should've just let you in when you first arrived," The nurse stated.

Beca nodded, "Huh. What a mental case she is," she quipped.

The nurse laughed again, "Right this way."

She led her up to Chloe's room and opened the door slowly, revealing Chloe sound asleep in her hospital bed as she had some wires connected to her arms, as Amy was sitting in a chair, with drool running down her face.

"I'll leave you," she said.

"Thanks," Beca said.

The nurse walked out with a small smile.

Beca walked over and pulled up a chair next to Amy. She didn't think waking Chloe was appropriate, so she waited, staring aimlessly at the clock, then the TV, then to Chloe, then back at the clock.

_She looks pale. And her eyes have bags. Her lips are dry and cracked._

Before Beca knew it Amy started to stir, mumbling something or other about being the champ at mermaid dancing, whatever the hell that was.

Beca looked towards Amy and waited for her to realize she was there, Amy looked around momentarily, then found Beca.

"Hey short stack, you came!" Amy whispered, "I was worried you wouldn't."

"What happened?" Beca asked in a whisper.

Amy made a head motion towards the door, so they both stood up and walked out so they could talk without interrupting Chloe's sleep.

Once out, Beca immediately said, "Okay, tell me. Is she okay?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah, she ah, I don't really know what happened. I came home and she was passed out on the couch, and she wasn't breathing," She said, "when we got here they admitted her and got her breathing again, but she hasn't woken up yet."

Beca nodded slowly, "I don't think she's taking her pills." Beca stated, "because she's been acting weird, and I know it's only been two days since I've been around her again, but she's not the Chloe I know."

Amy didn't seem to know what to say, and that's saying something on it's own.

A doctor came walking their way as they were standing in a deafening silence. He approached them calmly and said, "Are you with Chloe Beale?"

"That is us," Amy replied as she visibly checked the doctor out, while Beca only shook her head at her actions.

He gave her a weird look, before saying, "She has a stomach bug-"

"A bug? That's it?" Beca interrupted. "Are you sure? You know she has depression, right? And what about the breathing?"

The doctor nodded, "I wasn't finished."

Beca made an 'oh' motion with her mouth, letting him go in.

"We think she stopped taking her antidepressants and PTSD drugs and is taking something else that's not prescribed, which is leading to her relapsing into depression, and that's why she has the stomach bug. Sometimes when people don't take their medicine, they can get sick," he said, "and we think she was so knocked out her brain may have stopped receiving oxygen."

Beca nodded, "She was telling me she felt nauseous."

"That makes sense. She's stable and should be awake any time. We are going to let her rest for the day, and she can go home around three. Which one of you will take her?"

Before Amy had the chance, Beca said, "I will," then got a approving look from Amy.

"Okay, then I'll give you her prescription and I need you to make sure she is taking the medicine, the PTSD medication will be upped a dosage."

Beca nodded, "Will do."

The doctor nodded, gave the prescriptions, and said his goodbyes and walked away, but not before Amy could shamelessly follow him as she talked about wrestling dingo's and being a real psychic. Apparently, Amy assumed it would rail him in?

Beca chortled at Amy and carefully walked back into Chloe's hospital room and saw she was awake, with her eyes drooping and staring off into nothing.

_PTSD? Chloe never said anything about that._

"Hey, you," Beca said as she walked over and pulled up a chair to Chloe's bed.

"Hey," she croaked out.

"How you feeling?" Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged and closed her eyes. "Tired," she sighed, "why are you here?" She asked as she kept them closed.

Beca sighed this time. Beca was serious about being there for Chloe. Whether it would be coming over because Chloe needed her, or rushing to the hospital and waiting until she could see her like she had done. And it was getting slightly frustrating that Chloe didn't understand Beca wanted to be there.

"I got a call after work and rushed here because I was scared that something bad happened to you," Beca said, "And something did."

Chloe nodded and knitted her eyebrows, "What did Amy say you to?"

Beca shifted and said, "Well, Amy told me that you were passed out when she came home and you weren't breathing."

Chloe huffed. "She should've just left me," She mumbled. "That was the point."

Beca's mouth dropped, "What?"

Chloe shrugged and shook her head.

Beca scooted closer to Chloe and intertwined their hands, Chloe tried to break away momentarily, but then eased into the touch.

"You don't mean that," Beca cooed.

Chloe shut her eyes and just sighed with a shaky breath, "I don't know anymore."

Beca sat for a moment, she had never thought Chloe even thought about death. Chloe was out of her life for so much time, and it's like she came back, but now, now everything has changed. She's gone in a way, but Chloe being gone for good, Beca couldn't even take the thought.

"You stopped taking your pills, didn't you? And you," Beca took a breath, "you tried to kill yourself?"

Chloe gulped, "I haven't taken them since moving back to the city. And I was having panic attack after panic attack when I got home. I couldn't take it, I couldn't breath, and I couldn't think a straight thought besides making the pain stop." Chloe voiced, "I figured, why not. As long as it stops. I had never tried it before, it never crossed my mind. I just took lots and lots of sleeping pills, and it knocked me out."

"Chloe? Can you look at me, please?" Beca asked.

Chloe turned her head and opened her eyes, Beca gripped Chloe's hand tightly and launched into her speech, "Chloe, you're the light in my life, even though you feel like nothing more than a dim bulb. I know it's cheesy and cliche, but that just makes it true. You are valid and your emotions are valid, never let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a good, strong person, even if you don't feel like you are right now," Beca said, she cupped Chloe's cheek with her other hand and ran her thumb over her skin.

"I know how fucked things have been for you, and yeah, it's hard. I can't even begin to say that I understand, because I don't. But, things DO get better, and I know you can get through this. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know that's the tag line for anti-suicide measures, but it's one hundred percent the truth. You are valuable and your existence is valuable. You are the most important thing in my whole life. You have been since we were little four year old girls who would hold hands everywhere we went, to when we were twenty years old and you kissed me because you thought I was being hit on,"

Chloe blushed at the memory as her eyes filled with tears.

"There are billions of people on this planet, and even if you think everyone hates you and no one cares, I care. I give a damn. I will always be here for you. Never doubt that. I know you have been hurt by Tom and Sarah, and sadly, I'm sorry to say that I may or may not have hurt you so badly to put you in this life threatening position, but please, please, take the pills and stop hurting yourself. You can find so many friends and loved ones if you just allow yourself the time to look for them. You are one of a kind, Chloe Michelle. The world turns out to be a beautiful place and you deserve to be alive to see that. You're too beautiful to let the world swallow you whole. And you know, what? Don't let it. Don't let the bad things out weight the good. It's easier said than done, but please, don't do it. I love you more than Ross loves Rachel, and I can't lose you. Not after all that we have been through," After the monologue Beca leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Chloe's forehead.

Chloe pursed her lips and closed her eyes and let the tears she held flow, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry I stopped taking my medicine. I just, I thought that I could show everyone that I'm okay, and if I don't take my medicine, I will be okay. I just want to be okay again."

"That's what the medicine is for. To make you okay again," Beca cooed, "you'll be okay, I know you will. But ending up in a hospital because you don't feel like taking your meds, isn't okay. You could end up in a treatment center or a mental hospital if you try this again."

Chloe shook her head, "I don't want to take them," She whispered, hoarsely.

"I know," Beca said, "but you have to."

Beca realized she should ask Chloe an important question, "What do you want? I've been telling you that I'm here for you for the past two days, but I haven't asked you once what _you _want."

Chloe smiled halfheartedly, "I want it to stop. I want the fear I have to go away. I want to be able to walk outside of my house and not have a panic attack because I saw a fucking bird, or because I smell a certain smell. I want to be able to stay inside and not be afraid of being alone. And the worst part is, I love being alone, no, not lonely. Just alone. I used to love sitting by myself and just watching the people pass on the streets, knowing that they all have their own wonderful lives, and each and every person has a different, amazing and unique story. But- but now, now if I'm alone for more than five minutes I freak out," Chloe explained.

She sat up and ran the hand she held Beca's with through her hair and shot Beca a crude smile, as if saying, 'I know I can't have this, but I'm telling you anyway.'

"I want more than anything to feel again. I want to enjoy being awake. I want to enjoy getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen to make coffee. I want to be Chloe again. I want to love walking through the parks with you again every Thursday, instead of being afraid of the falling leaves because of how jumpy I am, or the passing people who I assume want to hurt me. I want to eat and not worry that my stomach will hurt afterwards because of the side effects of my pills. I want to go to a club and dance and get drunk just because. I want to live to the fullest. I want to experience life, instead of hiding behind my self, because I'm too damn scared.," Chloe expressed.

She clenched her jaw, "It's like yeah, I'm alive, yeah, I'm on the same trip as everyone, but I'm stuck in one damn place, while everyone is going somewhere, and I would kill to be anywhere but _here_. I just want to live more than anything, but I can't, because I'm practically dying," She hissed out.

Beca was speechless. What could she say? She thought about asking her about her PTSD, she thought about telling Chloe about the situation and sliding the PTSD in, so she went with the latter.

Beca nodded and set her hands on her lap, not knowing what to say she went with, "So, apparently you have a stomach bug, and you need some more medicine. Your PTSD dosage will go up, as well. And I'm taking you home later," Beca said, hoping Chloe fully understood what she threw in.

Her eyes closed, then opened and she turned her heard and Beca nodded with her lips clamped.

"You have to stop lying to me, and start telling me the truth. I know about Sarah, I know that she's hit you, I know that she verbally abused you, and I know you feel like you're a piece of shit, but you aren't, and I will make sure you never feel like that again, but first, you need to be open and honest with me. Stop closing yourself off and start letting me in."

Chloe really had nothing to say, so Beca smiled at her and started to rub her thumb over Chloe's hand. They sat there like that in silence for a while, with Chloe being very unsure of how to feel that Beca knows everything, and Beca hoping Chloe wasn't mad at her for trying to help.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Tainted**

Beca took Chloe home that day, remembering she promised to spend the day with Noelle, she tried to leave once she got Chloe settled, but Chloe asked her to stay because she really didn't feel well, and needed her.

Beca tried to protest, she really did. But Chloe does have a spell over her. She doesn't even have to ask twice and Beca will do whatever she says.

It wasn't like Chloe knew of her plans, Beca figured, so she stayed the night, holding Chloe and trying her best to comfort her. Running lazy finger movements over the redheads back and up her shoulders until she was able to fall asleep, as well.

Chloe was still feeling pretty sick the next day, so Beca stayed until she had work that night, explaining to Noelle that Chloe's sick and needs someone to look out for her. She made sure Chloe took her medicine, even though the redhead was relentless about it, Beca was persistent and eventually got her to take it each time.

* * *

><p>It's Wednesday now and Beca and Chloe were sitting in Chloe's living room on the couch watching an episode of Friends.<p>

"I don't think Amy will be home tonight either," Chloe said sleepily as she laid her head in Beca's lap.

Beca shrugged, "I guess that doctor ended up liking her after all," Beca said as she ran her fingers through Chloe's hair.

Chloe softly laughed and sat up from the position she was currently in, "I'm sorry about making you stay last night... And today... It was your day off-"

"It's fine," Beca said, cutting her off, "part of me wanted to stay cause I was worried you wouldn't really take your medicine."

Chloe nodded, "Becs, can I ask you a question? A serious one?"

"Sure," Beca said.

Chloe shifted so she was sitting cross legged and facing Beca on the couch, she muted out the TV's background noise in her head and took a breath, she had been meaning to ask Beca this since she was at the hospital.

"Remember at the hospital how you were telling me all those sweet things about not killing myself? And it really hit me, like really made me think. And I think I realized something...," she said, "but I'm kind of worried about what you'll think,"

Beca nodded and half smiled, "What is it?"

Chloe closed her eyes, bit her lip and took a small breath, she opened her eyes and Beca saw nothing but love in her eyes. It was pure and something Beca hadn't seen in the broken redhead since she returned. Something Beca used to see on the daily long ago. Something Beca missed. It made her insides gush and her heart beat rapid, and she swore it was a real love, the mutual kind of love, but dismissed the thought as she saw Chloe begin to speak.

"Well, you know how you said you the thing about Ross and-"

Beca's phone started to ring, "Sorry," she looked at it and saw it was her girlfriend.

_I haven't called her since yesterday afternoon... Crap._

Beca looked to Chloe, and Chloe said, "Don't worry about it, answer."

Beca nodded and stood up mouthing, 'thank you,' and walked into the kitchen, not noticing Chloe's hurt expression.

"Hey, I'm sorry about not calling you," Beca said.

"Yeah, well, I called Aubrey and Jesse to see if we could all get together, and they said it would be a good idea if you, Chloe, and I go to lunch with them tomorrow," she said, "And so do I, if my girlfriend is going to be spending so much time with someone, I'd like to get to know them."

Beca thought for a moment, _is this a good idea? Chloe doesn't seem to do well with people anymore._

"Beca? Is it okay? Because I want to meet her and actually speak with her," she said, "instead of seeing her sleeping on your couch."

Beca cleared her throat, "Fine. Yeah, that- cool. Yeah, uh, tomorrow? What time?"

"Noon. At the Market Cafe."

Beca sighed quietly, "We will be there. See you tomorrow."

And with that, Noelle hung up.

_I feel like this isn't going to go well._

She huffed and dialed Jesse, as soon as he picked up, she said, "If this was your idea I swear, Jesse!"

"Whoa, calm down! It was my idea, yeah, she asked if we could hang out, and I know that you've spent the past few days with Chloe, so I figured she might want to go," he explained.

"If anything goes wrong, or if you're rude to Chloe, you're going to regret it," Beca said and hung up.

She took a breath and walked back out, and was met with Chloe lying back down on the couch watching the episode.

"Hey, sorry about that," Beca said.

Chloe sat up, "It's okay," she said.

"Lay back down," Beca said.

Chloe quirked and eyebrow, "Why? You were sit-"

"Because were cuddling, duh," Beca said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Chloe softly laughed, "I should've known, badass Beca loves to cuddle."

Beca was surprised at the response, but said nothing, she probably would've made Chloe uncomfortable, so, she smiled widely and slipped behind Chloe, pulling her close to her.

"Only for you, Beale."

* * *

><p>After the episode was done, which was only like five more minutes, Beca spoke up, "Hey, uh, so, tomorrow- Jesse, Aubrey, and uh, my girlfriend, Noelle- well, they uh, they want-"<p>

Chloe sat up, "Breath," she said.

Beca nodded and sat up as well, "They want to have lunch,"

Chloe nodded, knowing there was more.

"With you there, too."

Chloe bit her lip and nodded slowly, "Okay," she said, dragging out the 'a'.

"I mean, you so don't have to go if you're not comfortable, or if you still don't feel well," Beca said.

Chloe shook her head, "No, I feel better. Uh, I, yeah. I should go. I should meet them. Even though I'm kind of scared that Jesse will hate me."

"He won't," Beca reassured, "Aubrey's nice, she's... protective. We got pretty close since she's stated dating Jesse. It takes time to learn to love her, though."

"And your girlfriend?" _Girlfriend. I still can't wrap my head around Beca having a girlfriend..._

Beca shifted and swallowed some spit, "She's nice. She knows that were best-friends, and that you're going though a rough patch. She gets it."

Chloe nodded, "I'm kind of nervous. I know that sounds stupid cause they're your friends-"

"No, I get it," Beca reassured with a smile, "do you not remember who I am? I'm terrible with new people, and making friends. That's basically why you were my only real friend through school. Thank God you sat next to the first day of preschool."

Chloe giggled, "You looked so mad that you were there, I couldn't resist."

"Ah, so even back then I was irresistible?" Beca said with a quirked eye brow and a smug smirk.

Beca saw her go back into the metaphorical shell again, and she cursed herself for it.

"No, no! I mean, you're not irresistible. You're just- special to me. I want you," Chloe scrunched her nose, not liking how that sounded, "I mean, I want you to be mine," she closed her eyes and huffed, "my friend."

Beca smirked and Chloe covered her face, "No, not like I want you sexually. I mean, yeah, you're not ugly- you're pretty attractive, now. I mean, you've always been! But- my God. I mean,"

Beca's mouth parted as Chloe's face sunk, "Cause I don't," she stated, "I don't want you for sex... I- I don't know what I'm saying. I shouldn't be aloud to talk."

Beca laughed, "You sound like me."

Chloe scrunched her nose and Beca swore it was the cutest thing ever.

Beca trying to change the subject said, "Am I staying the night again?"

Chloe shrugged, glad that train wreck was pushed aside, "Let's go back to your place? I'm sure you want a shower and some new clothing."

"Sure, yeah. Uh, you wanted to stay the night then?"

Chloe covered her mouth, "Oh, sorry, I- I totally just invited myself over," Chloe expressed with a red face.

Beca laughed, "Chlo, it's okay. Stop freaking out."

Chloe stayed red, nodded and stood up, "I'll just get some stuff and we can go?"

"I'll be waiting," Beca said.

Chloe walked off as Beca remained sitting.

_I'm so stupid. I'm trying not to freak out and stay calm but it's impossible it seems. I'm going to end up making a fool out of myself if I don't just stay quiet. And I am so confused. I feel the feelings I had again for Beca and this is not okay... She has a girlfriend._ Chloe thought as she packed her things.

Back on the couch Beca was thinking, _yeah, maybe spending so much time together isn't a good way to stop being in love with her, but I can't help wanting to be around her. If she doesn't know I love her, it's not like I'm cheating. Plus, it's not like we kiss... Or have- yeah, no, I may want to. No, I don't... Who am I kidding? I do, but no, we don't. We just cuddle at night and during the day... And we hold hands while we walk... And whenever we sit together we always have some sort of grasp on each other's hands, but that doesn't mean cheating. That means best-friend affection._

"Right?"

* * *

><p>"I never got to ask you that question," Chloe said timidly as they climbed into Beca's bed.<p>

Beca sat against the head board as Chloe sat cross legged on their respected sides

"Ask away," Beca said.

Chloe gulped. She was nervous. She was scared to ask. She never even gave it a second thought until Beca said the words... Because Beca couldn't love her like Ross loved Rachel... That wasn't possible. No one could really love Chloe, according the her mind.

Chloe's face was tensed, Beca could see the clogs turn in her head so she sat up with her. She lifted Chloe's chin and gave her the smirk that recently has made Chloe internally swoon.

"Hey," Beca said softly, "you can ask me anything," she reassured.

Chloe nodded slowly, "at the hospital, uh- why," she cleared her throat and looked down, "you said something, uh, that I have been thinking about for the past two days,"

Beca knitted her eyebrows, and continued to look at Chloe.

"Uh, and I don't fully understand what you meant by it," Chloe quietly said.

Beca nodded, clearly not one hundred percent understanding, either.

Chloe swallowed some spit, continuing to avert her eyes from Beca's, "about loving me like Ross loved Rachel," she quietly said.

Beca laughed nervously and created a small silence that was weird and uncomfortable, until she said, "well, I do. I do love you a lot,"

Chloe shot her head up and Beca looked down, "but you don't mean that? Were friends... And you have a girlfriend... And I'm me, I'm not worth that,"

Beca looked up into Chloe's piercing blue eyes and nodded, "We are friends. And I have a girlfriend. BUT, I sincerely do love you," she said, "they dated, yes, but when they didn't date they were still great friends, and yeah, I know we haven't dated and we never will, I didn't mean it romantically. I just meant that I really love you and to see you want to kill yourself really hurt and I never want you to be in that position again," Beca rambled.

Chloe looked hurt. She looked as if someone just told her they didn't really love her... In a way, that happened.

_Why am I so upset? We're friends for the tenth time. I don't even have those feelings for Beca, right? No._

"Okay," Chloe breathed out.

Beca noticed Chloe's sad eyes and slumped shoulders and wondered what it meant. Surely Chloe didn't expect Beca to actually love her.

"And you know, maybe one day we will go to Vegas and get drunk and get married, and I'll be crazy and not want to get a divorce because I have already had two failed marriages," Beca quipped, making Chloe go into a small giggle fit.

"So, that means I'm Rachel?" Chloe asked.

Beca shrugged, "You're certainly beautiful like her," Beca stated.

Chloe's face softened and they looked each other in the eyes for several lingering moments, Chloe felt like she was being pulled in to Beca, she started to lean in, without breaking eye contact, Beca found herself doing the same.

Chloe placed her hand on Beca's knee and absent mindly licked her lips, Beca gulped, thoughts of Noelle out the window, thoughts of taking advantage of Chloe's state gone, nothing but how enticing Chloe looked and how full of pure unadulterated love Chloe's orbs were clouded her mind.

Beca placed her hand on Chloe's that covered her knee, and cupped her cheek, she slowly sat up on her heels and continued to lean in, their lips were mere centimeters from each other, their noses touching, eyes fluttered closed. Each other's breaths mixing. The tension of being so close, yet so far from being in a blissful state was so high, neither of them wanted to break it, until Chloe couldn't take it anymore and surged her lips forward and locked her lips with Beca's.

It was timid at first, shy, like a first kiss. Even though it was technically their fifth, but none had ever been like this. None had ever been anticipated, none where they were both _fully a_ware of what was happening.

Their lips became one and they were in sync beautifully after they each tested the waters. Beca was still cupping Chloe's cheeks, she could feel fireworks and sirens going off, the fireworks because of how simply amazing Chloe's warm lips felt against hers and how long shes really wished for this moment, and sirens because she finally realized what was happening. Beca felt Chloe try to slip her tongue through her lips and that was it.

"Chloe," Beca breathed out.

Chloe snapped back, "I'm sorry," she said, her mouth hung and she covered it, "fuck," she whispered, "I'm so sorry." she whispered again, slightly out of breath.

Beca nodded and ran a hang through her brunette hair and clamped her lips shut, "I just, I can't," she shook her head and took a deep breath, "I have a girlfriend, and you," she stood up, "you're you,"

Chloe huffed, "I'm me?"

Realizing how bad that sounded, and how she knows that Chloe thinks so lowly of herself Beca turned around and faced her, "Not a bad thing, but you're just, you're Chloe. And we can't," Beca sighed and started to pace.

"We can't what?" Chloe asked quietly.

"Ugh," Beca grumbled, "you can't kiss me! You can't kiss me again and then let me think it means nothing like all the other times," she yelled.

Chloe ducked her head, "how do you know it meant nothing?"

"Chloe, don't even," Beca hissed, "you've kissed me four, now five, separate times, at four different ages," she stated, "and not one damn time did you seem to care that we kissed."

"Beca-"

Beca scoffed, "No."

Chloe huffed, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. It must be the medicine or something. Maybe the stomach bug," Chloe said with a laugh, trying to blow the tension away.

Beca nodded, "I'm, uh, you can stay here tonight, I'm- just, I'll go sleep on the couch," Beca said.

"Okay," Chloe said, "Goodnight."

Beca walked out and sat on the couch, covering her face she sighed, _holy shit. I just cheated. I told myself I would never cheat after what my Dad did. I told myself I'd never really fall in love. And Chloe is making me crazy. How could I of let that happen?_

Chloe continued sitting up right, touching her lips with her fingers. They still tingled, they still were warm. _All of a sudden my lips were on hers and then suddenly she pulled back and I knew from the look on her face I fucked up. Again._

* * *

><p>Beca awoke to the smell of fresh coffee. She sat up and smiled when she saw Chloe sitting at the small table in her small kitchen. Then the thoughts of last night came swarming through and her smile became a frown.<p>

Chloe realized Beca woke up, she stood up and brought her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," she said, "what time is it?"

"Eleven," Chloe said.

"How long have you been up?" Beca asked as she sipped the coffee.

"Awhile. I couldn't really sleep very well," she confessed.

Beca nodded.

Then it was silent. Neither girl looked at each other. Neither girl made any noise other than their breathing.

"Look," Beca started with, "let's just pretend it didn't happen. I mean," she huffed, "that's what we've always done."

Chloe nodded, "why don't we get ready? I'm excited to meet Aubrey," she stated and walked into Beca's room.

Beca huffed, "Looks like nothing's changed,"

* * *

><p>"Beca, I'm scared," Chloe whined as they began walking into the cafe. She stopped right before they walked in.<p>

"Chloe, I'm not in a good mood. So, please for the love of God, stop whining," she snapped.

Chloe huffed, "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Beca looked down, "No, no. I'm-ugh, I'm sorry. You've just been whining for the last hour and I'm not good with that."

Chloe nodded and pushed passed Beca and walked in, it was small and quaint, she spotted the only people in the whole restaurant.

She recognized Jesse right away. _Still looking as goofy as ever._

Beca walked in behind her and saw how scared Chloe looked, she immediately regretted snapping at her.

"Hey," Beca whispered, "it's okay."

Chloe nodded and they walked up together.

"Hey, guys," Beca greeted, "Aubrey, Noelle," Beca said motioning to Chloe, "this is Chloe."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Chloe," Aubrey said kindly.

Chloe could feel the three of them staring at her neck, she started to feel very anxious._ I know it's ugly but you don't have to fucking stare._

"You too," Chloe quietly said, then turned to Noelle, "it's nice to meet you, I've heard tons about you from Beca," Chloe stated, a little louder than last time.

_What?_ Beca thought.

"Oh, really?" Noelle said.

_Yeah, it's nice to meet you, too._ Chloe thought. _Bitch._

"Really," she said, she sat down next to Aubrey, as Beca sat down next to Noelle. She immediately grabbed Beca's hand and intertwined them, giving Chloe a glare.

"So, Chloe," Jesse started with. Beca glared at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, how've you been?"

Beca bit her lips and closed her eyes, _yes, what a great question._

"I've been great, actually. Better now that I'm in the city again," she said.

"You feeling any better?" Noelle asked, everyone could hear the sarcasm in her voice, "you know, since you have a stomach bug?"

Chloe smugly smiled, "A lot, thanks," she said, "Beca really helped."

Aubrey and Jesse could feel the tension and looked at Beca, and realized the brunette really had no idea what to do.

_Chloe seems to be doing well, maybe I'm wrong about her people skills._

"Well, I'm glad," Noelle said, looking to Beca, "she is a fantastic helper."

After a moment of silence, Aubrey said, "Well, I'm going to get some coffee, and maybe a scone, Jesse come with me,"

Jesse nodded, then Noelle said, "I'll go too, you want anything, babe?"

Chloe scowled at her. _Babe? Really?_

"Oh, sure. Just coffee, you want anything, Chlo?"

Chloe shook her head, "No thank you,"

The trio walked up to the front to order, once they were up there Beca sighed.

"I could feel them staring at my neck," Chloe quietly said, "and I feel like I'm about to throw up everything I've ever eaten,"

Beca looked up and saw that Chloe was scared shitless, basically. She really wasn't doing okay, and she was trying her hardest not to let her nervousness show while she talked.

"Oh, no, Chlo," Beca cooed, she placed her hand on Chloe's neck and traced the burns, "you're doing fine, and you don't have to tell them what they are, even if they ask,"

Chloe nodded and half smiled, "Thanks."

Beca continued to trace the scars and when they walked back, she dropped her hand, but everyone saw the gesture.

Aubrey and Jesse both sat down and smiled at Chloe, while Noelle kept a tight lip.

"Here's your coffee, Becs," Noelle said.

Jesse looked to Chloe and saw her clamping her lips once she said the nickname. Becs has always been Chloe's nickname for her, now and then Aubrey says it, but it's Chloe's. And _only_ Chloe's.

"Thank you," Beca only said, she took a sip and made a face of disgust, then became serious again.

"You don't like it?" Noelle asked.

"Oh, it's," Beca gulped it down, "it's good, its just- it has cream,"

Aubrey and Jesse averted their eyes and tried not to laugh at the dumb mistake.

Chloe sat up straight and raised an eyebrow, "Beca only drinks black coffee, sweetie," she said.

Noelle nodded, "Sorry," and planted a kiss on Beca's lips, making Chloe slump back in her chair.

"Oh, Chloe," Noelle said, she sat up straight and pointed to Chloe's neck, "what are those?"

Everyone's mouth dropped, and Chloe shot her hand up to her neck, she huffed.

Beca ran her hand through her own hair, "you don't have to answer that," she said.

"Why?" Noelle quipped.

"Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable," Beca lashed.

"It's okay," Chloe reassured quietly.

Beca looked to her and nodded, but felt like Chloe wasn't comfortable.

"Well, as you two know," Chloe said to Aubrey and Jesse, "when I left the city it was because I thought I was pregnant," she said, she looked down and kept her hand over her neck, "I had a miscarriage, ended up in a really bad abusive relationship, and that's how I got these on my neck, and the scar on my forehead," she said with shaky breaths.

"Chloe, you don't have to say anything else," Beca said.

"Yeah, honey, it's okay," Aubrey said.

Chloe half smiled and nodded her head, "I'm just going to use the bathroom," she said and stood up abruptly, then walked off.

After she was out of sight, Beca said, "What the fuck?" to Noelle.

"What?" She said defensively, "I wanted to know," she she with a shrug.

"Okay, really? She feels ugly enough with them, and with you just pointing them out it's just going to make her feel worse," Beca hissed.

Aubrey and Jesse sat awkwardly, while Noelle looked at Beca in disbelief until Chloe came back.

"Sorry," she said, "I'm still feeling kind of sick,"

"Why did you get taken to the hospital, anyway?" Noelle asked.

Aubrey looked to Jesse and Jesse looked to Beca, who looked extremely irritated.

Chloe thought for a moment, and decided to be blunt. _Give her what she wants, right?_

Chloe sat up and smiled, "On Sunday night I tried to kill myself," she stated.

Everyone, including Noelle, had a astonished look on their faces.

"I guess it would make more sense if I explained a little more, but I figured you didn't really care, so I cut straight to the point," Chloe said bluntly, "I have depression and PTSD, and I get severe panic attacks a lot. And I got tired of it," she said a little quieter, "so I thought, fine, I'll just take some sleeping pills and knock myself out."

"Well, I'm glad it didn't work," Aubrey stated.

Chloe looked to her and smiled, and then Jesse said, "So am I,"

"Thanks, guys,"

Noelle huffed, "I'm going to smoke," she said and walked outside.

Beca shot Chloe a look, "Are you going to be okay?"

Chloe nodded, "Fine, yeah, it's okay."

"You sure?"

Chloe shrugged.

"What, uh-" Jesse was cut off.

"The burns are from Tom, he used to burn me with the cigarette buds, and every time I smell smoke I get panic attacks, it's linked with the PTSD." Chloe rushed out.

"Oh, I'll tell her not to smoke, she shouldn't even be smoking in the first place," Aubrey said, before anyone could tell her otherwise, she was out the door.

They walked back in and Chloe ducked her head as she saw Noelle give her a death glare.

Beca had a tight lip and she kept her eyes on anything but Noelle.

"You're afraid of smoke?" Noelle asked as she sat back down.

Beca clenched her jaw.

Chloe shrugged, "Not necessarily afraid, just I, uh, I get panic attacks because he used to burn my neck with the bud of cigarettes, and I just, I freak out when I smell smoke," she voiced, "I'm sorry."

Beca scoffed, "Don't apologize, Chlo."

Noelle rolled her eyes, not going unnoticed by Beca.

The other three just sat in the chair, causally sipping coffee, able to sense how badly this lunch was about to really be.

"You know what?" Beca said to Noelle.

The girl knitted her eyebrows, "You're being kind of a bitch," Beca lashed, making everyone's mouth drop and a giggle from Jesse.

Truth be told no one really like Noelle, she wasn't the best person, and she only acted sweet around Beca.

"Excuse me!?"

"Yeah," Beca hissed, "Chloe doesn't have to be here, she came because she wanted to get to know Aubrey and you wanted to get to know her,"

Noelle scoffed, "Not so much anymore," she mumbled, "I mean, what do you see in her? She's a mess!" Noelle voiced.

"Okay, okay," Aubrey said, "you are being a tiny bit rude."

"More like a lot," Beca said.

"Well, I'm sorry. I haven't got to spend any time with my girlfriend because of her," Noelle said, "I wouldn't be surprised if they were hooking up!"

Chloe stood up, she had enough. "I'm not going to sit here and be told these untrue things. Yes, I'm a fucking mess! I'm very aware, and from the moment I laid my eyes on you today, I knew that you would be a heartless bitch," she turned to Beca, "and whatever the hell you see in her...," she huffed and shook her head, then grabbed her bag and said goodbye to Aubrey and Jesse, leaving Noelle with a scowl and Beca caught between a rock and a hard place.

Beca looked to Aubrey and Jesse with a confused face, and Beca nodded knowing what she had to do, then turned to Noelle, "we're having a talk later," she stated calmly and followed her heart to go after Chloe.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry if you didn't get the Friends references! And thanks for 100 follows, and all the nice reviews! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - Failed Seduction**

"Chloe!" Beca said as she stepped outside the cafe. The place wasn't in a crowded area, it was a secluded little coffeehouse, next to some other little shops. She could see the redhead walking away hastily, and when she called her name, she kept on walking.

Beca sighed, knowing she had no choice but to chase after her. She started walking fast and eventually she caught up with her.

"Chlo," she said as she gripped the girls wrists.

"Let go of me," Chloe hissed and sped up.

Beca didn't stop, she continued to follow her, knowing if she stopped now Chloe would get even angrier at her. She made that mistake already.

"Chloe Michelle Beale, stop running away from me," Beca yelled.

Chloe stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, having a few people bump into her, but not enough to move her, she turned around and Beca saw the tears in her eyes, which made her heart break.

"Chloe, I'm sorry," Beca said, "I didn't think she would be-"

"Such a bitch," Chloe yelled, "you actually like her? You actually have feelings for her? How could you be with someone so rude?"

Beca hung her head, "I don't know,"

Chloe wiped her fallen tears, shook her head, turned around and started to walk away, only to have Beca follow her.

"Why are you even with such a mean person? She's definitely not your type," Chloe said as they continued to walk nowhere.

"I-it's complicated," she mumbled.

"You love her or something? Don't want to look like a bitch, too?" Chloe asked bitterly, "or are you staying with her just to have a girlfriend?"

"I don't love her," Beca mumbled.

"Right, but you're just going to stay with her!?"

Beca huffed, "Chlo, you seriously can't be mad at me for having a girlfriend!"

Chloe stopped making Beca run into her, and clenched her jaw, "Really? You think I'm mad because you have a girlfriend?" She asked, but got no answer, "I'm mad because she talked to me like I was a piece of shit! I'm not going to let anyone talk to me like that again, not after Tom and Sarah," she stated.

Beca lightly shrugged her left shoulder and looked down, "I've wanted to break up with her for a while, but I- I don't know, I just feel bad," Beca said, "I'm not even sure if I have any feelings for her."

"It's been what? Four months almost and you don't know if you have any real feelings for her?" Chloe asked, "don't you decide that before you get into a relationship?"

Beca nodded, "I don't know much about this stuff. I didn't even want to date anyone, but Jesse made me," Beca said, "I'm not a really mushy person, and I'm not good with feelings."

Chloe nodded, "I would give you some advice, but as we both know I know shit about relationships."

Beca laughed softly and she smirked up at Chloe and locked their eyes. Beca gave Chloe that same look as right before they kissed last night, Chloe gulped and she looked to Beca's lips and then up at her eyes again.

_I need to get over this._ Chloe thought, not realizing Beca was thinking the same thing. Beca couldn't help but see that Chloe's eyes got a shade darker, and she tried to make sense of it by thinking the sun had some doing. But really? No.

"I'll walk you home?"

"Sure," Chloe softly said.

As they were walking Beca started to ease closer to Chloe, assuming the girl wanted to hold hands. Cause that's what they always do. She barely touched Chloe's hand, when she retracted it.

"What was that?" Beca asked.

"Oh, uh, I don't know. I don't think we should hold hands anymore," Chloe said.

Beca scoffed, "So, you can kiss me but we can't hold hands?"

Chloe knitted her eyebrows and her lips parted, "Are you forgetting that you have a girlfriend, who I got chewed out by because you've been spending so much time with me? I mean, Beca, you said yourself were just friends," Chloe stated, they continued to walk without any reply from Beca, then Chloe said, "and you know, just friends don't hold hands like we do, they don't cuddle every single damn night, they don't kiss like we did," Chloe finally said.

"I know, but last night you kissed me, and now you're telling me we can't hold hands?" Beca said, "it doesn't make sense, and the way you're saying that I want to be just friends, makes it sound like you want to be more than just friends."

"Maybe I do," she mumbled.

"What?" Beca asked.

"Maybe I do," she stated this time, "maybe I want to be more than just friends."

"Chlo, no," Beca shook her head, "You don't mean that."

"Why do you keep saying that? You said that last night and now you're saying it today. I mean it, Beca."

Beca zoned out as they continued to walk. She gave Chloe no answer as they continued to walk in silence, while Chloe mentally scoffed, sighed, and all but wanted to punch Noelle in the face.

_I can see why Beca likes her, though. She is pretty. And I bet she can be nice... She's better off than me. I'm just this little messed up girl who can't say no. I guess she really just doesn't feel the same._

"Chlo?"

"Hm?" She said, hoping Beca would at least say something.

"We're at your building," Beca said.

"Oh, oh, okay," Chloe said, "see you, uh, later?"

Beca nodded, "I'll text you. And if you need me just call and I'll be there."

Chloe nodded and forced a smile, "Thanks," then walked inside, as she tried not to cry.

She knew that Beca wasn't going to break up with Noelle. She had no clue why. It wasn't exactly that she wanted her to end it for her. But she could tell Beca wasn't happy with her. She could tell Beca didn't like her, and she knew that Beca was only with her because she felt bad, she even said it.

Beca turned around after she knew Chloe made it inside and texted Jesse.

'_I need help.' _

* * *

><p>"What happened to me seriously regretting the lunch?" Jesse quipped, "and you need my help? I thought you were too proud to ask for anyone's help, let alone mine."<p>

"I'm really not in the mood, asshole," Beca retorted.

He laughed, "spill it," Jesse said as he mixed some drinks behind the bar.

"Well, I'll start from last night," Beca said.

Jesse gave her a nod, letting her launch into the story.

"She was at my apartment, and we were just about to go to sleep, and we started having a conversation about something I said that other night," Beca said.

"Well, say it," Jesse said.

"I said that I love her like Ross loved Rachel, and I mean, I meant it. And she didn't know if I did, so she asked."

"And let me guess, you said you didn't mean it," Jesse said.

Beca nodded sheepishly, "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe that you do love her?" Jesse said with a grin.

Beca shook her head, "I don't want to scare her."

Jesse laughed, "Go on."

"Uh, then I told her we could go to Vegas and get married like they did, because she just looked really sad, and then she asked me if she was Rachel and I said she was beautiful like her," Beca rushed out, "and then we kissed." She mumbled.

"I'm sorry, you what?"

"We kissed."

"You kissed her!?"

"She kissed me."

Jesse shook his head and walked around to the bar stools and sat with Beca.

"How was it?"

Beca slouched and her eyes filled, her lips curved into a small smile and she all but sighed happily, "Honestly, Jesse, it was perfect. It was the best kiss I've ever had, it was so amazing. And when I was kissing her it was like I never wanted to stop. I want to kiss her for the rest of my life."

"So, tell her you love her and you two can live happily ever after and have ginger babies who try to be bad asses, but fail miserably," Jesse quipped.

Beca shook her head, "You really are an asshole. What did Noelle say after I left?"

Jesse started to laugh, he took a deep breath and laughed again.

"Okay, what the hell did you say to her?" Beca asked.

"No," Jesse said between laughs, "it wasn't even me, it was Aubrey."

"Aubrey?" Beca asked, "what? What did she say?"

"Well, she basically just yelled at her for being such a bitch, and that Chloe is a very nice girl," Jesse said, "I feel bad. She's really gone trough a lot."Jesse stood up and walked back to make a drink.

After a moment Beca said, "I think Chloe told me that she likes me today."

Jesse looked up at her, "What did she say exactly?"

"Uh, okay," she took a breath, "I was walking her home, and I tried to hold her hand like we always do... And she didn't want to, so, you know I asked why and she said cause I have a girlfriend and blah, blah, so, I brought up how we kissed, but then she started saying that she meant the kiss, and she means that we should be more than just friends," Beca said, "and when I left her she looked like she was about to cry."

"Oh, yeah. Beca, she totally doesn't like you," Jesse dead panned, "dude, she loves you!"

Beca blushed, then she half smiled, "you think so?"

"And you're blushing. Definitely. Chloe turns you into a puddle of mush," Jesse said, "so, what about Noelle?"

She sighed, "I don't know."

"You... You can't really be serious about staying with her after that?"

"I know it's bad, but I've never broken up with someone before.. I have no clue what to do," Beca whined as she stood up and walked behind the bar.

Jesse laughed, "Beca Mitchell is whining... Need some advice?"

Beca took a beer and popped it open, "Please?"

* * *

><p>"Hello?" Aubrey said as she picked up her phone.<p>

"Hi, it's Chloe."

"Oh, hello, Chloe. I'm sorry about Noelle, she's a real bitch," Aubrey said.

Chloe laughed softly, "Yeah, I can tell. I was wondering if I could talk to you?" She said as she sat down on her couch.

"Sure," Aubrey said, "'bout what?"

"Beca,"

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Uh, I just," Chloe paused, "why is she dating her?"

Aubrey chuckled, "I really don't know,"

Chloe sighed, "I mean, she is a bitch," she hissed, "and she doesn't deserve Beca," Chloe stated, "Beca's sweet, and caring, and just amazing," she huffed out.

"Beca? Beca Mitchell is sweet and caring? You sure?"

"Well, yeah, around me."

Aubrey laughed, "It's true then, I see?"

"What is?" Chloe asked.

"I've heard from Jesse countless times that you and Beca are in love," She stated.

Chloe's mouth dropped, "What? Really!? He said that? When? What? No."

"He said it. And it seems to be true," Aubrey said.

"Aubrey... if I told you something would you like hate me?" Chloe asked.

"Oh, well, it depends. But probably not," she said, "I actually kinda like you. I hope it's not serious."

_Thanks? _Chloe took a deep breath, "Okay, last night I kissed Beca."

Aubrey didn't say anything, so Chloe went on, "and she didn't do anything to stop it until way later, like we were really kissing. I've kissed her before, but they weren't like that, and I... I don't know. I feel like I do STILL love her... But I kind of think she loves Noelle," Chloe said sadly.

"What!? No, Chloe. I can assure you she doesn't love Noelle," she stated, "and if she kissed you back, I'm pretty sure she might feel the same."

Chloe smiled, even though she knew Aubrey couldn't see her, "Really? I don't know, I asked her if she was going to break up with her and she said she doesn't know," she said, "well, more like she doesn't know how to, but still!"

Aubrey thought about what she was going to say, she went with, "Chloe, I can guarantee you that Beca doesn't love her. She loves someone else," she said slowly.

"Someone else?"

"Someone else." Aubrey stated, "I think you know who."

* * *

><p>"You can do it," Beca told herself.<p>

She just got out of work, she didn't work late, it was around eight-thirty and she decided to finally break up with Noelle.

"You can break up with her,"

"You're a bad ass," she laughed dryly, "who am I kidding?"

"Just do what Jesse said. Tell her it's not working out. Tell her that I am not looking for a serious relationship. But don't tell her it's because I love Chloe," she said, "no matter what."

"Okay, let's do this," Beca said and got out of the car she borrowed from Jesse, walked up to her door and knocked.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

"Hey," she said as she saw the door open, "we need to talk."

Noelle nodded and led Beca inside and they sat on the couch.

"You're breaking up with me, right?"

Beca sighed, "Yes," she stated, "we just aren't working, and we never really see each other, and it's just, yeah, not working out."

"Is it Chloe?" She asked, "cause if you're leaving me for her... That's a mistake."

"Excuse me?" Beca said, "even if I was, which I'm not, that's really uncalled for, yeah, she has some problems, yeah, she is handful, but that doesn't matter to me, because she's my best-friend, and you don't just leave your best-friend because they're going through a rough time."

Noelle shrugged it off, "I'm just saying. I can give you more than she can."

"Sure," Beca said, "because the past four months have just been great, right? We hardly spend time together because you're always working, and whenever we do spend time together, we end up getting in some kind of argument, and then you get mad because I'm apparently too "insensitive."

Noelle rolled her eyes and scoffed, "Oh, so, what? Let me guess, Chloe never works does she? Chloe and you never argue, and Chloe doesn't mind that you're insensitive?"

Beca groaned, "Can we just stop comparing you and Chloe? I'm not leaving you for her!"

Noelle scoffed, "Have you fucked her yet so you _can_ just leave her?"

"What?" Beca said, "what are-"

"Don't even, I know that you aren't in this because you have feelings for me, you come over and we fuck and then you leave shortly after."

The way Noelle hissed _fucking Chloe_, set something off in her. Fucking sounded so vulgar and Beca had this feeling that she could never fuck Chloe. She knew it was cheesy and so cliche from the moment she thought it, but she knew that she could only make love with her. And once she thought it she knew just how deeply she had fallen for Chloe.

She scoffed, "I'm not having sex with Chloe, and even if I was, which I'm not, I wouldn't tell you about it."

"You think she's be better than me?"

"I literally just said we aren't having sex," Beca hissed.

Noelle nodded and started to run her hand up Beca's thigh, and then back down.

"Well, why don't we compare?"

Beca stood up, "There's nothing to compare."

Noelle nodded and stood up, as well, she started backing Beca into the door, "Maybe you'll change your mind...," she kissed Beca's neck, knowing what it did to her, "if I show you that I really am better than Chloe?" She husked.

Beca took a breath, "I told you," Noelle started to press her knee to Beca's center.

_Fuck._

"There's nothing to compare," she stated, but didn't really make a motive to stop it.

Noelle nodded and kissed Beca, making it heated and messy, something Beca didn't particularly enjoy. It wasn't like the one with Chloe. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't loving, it didn't make her heart melt and her mind get cloudy; it was nothing. She felt nothing.

"Okay," Beca breathed out, and pushed her away, "I don't want to do this," she stated, "We're over."

Beca took a moment to look at Noelle's angry face and almost giggled, but then realized she's Beca, and doesn't giggle. So, she turned around quickly and walked out the door.

"What a bitch." Beca said as she walked back to the car. She got in a happily called Jesse.

"How'd it go!?" Jesse asked.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she tried to seduce me...," she trailed off.

"And?"

"We're over," she stated firmly.

* * *

><p>When Beca got home she tried texting Chloe. She wasn't sure what she was planning on doing from here, she figured she would wing it.<p>

When she had a talk with Jesse, he advised her to let Chloe know how she really feels. And even though he's said it hundreds of times, she decided she actually _wanted_ to. It's been too long to keep a secret that big.

_'Hey, Chlo. How you doing?'_

She sat and sat waiting for a reply, it was about an hour until she decided to text Jesse.

_'Beca: I texted Chloe and she hasn't replied. It's been an hour.'_

_'Jesse: Maybe she's upset because you're a wuss.'_

Beca chortled, "Can't disagree there."

_'Beca: Should I go over there or just wait for a reply?'_

_'Jesse: Wait. She probably needs time and that's why she isn't replying, or maybe she's sleeping. It is almost ten-thirty.'_

Beca started to think. _What if she's hurt? What if something happened? Maybe I should just go and see if she is okay._

She decided against it. She figured if Chloe really had something wrong with her, she would text. And then suddenly, two hours later, she got a reply.

_'Chloe: I'm fine. Sorry I didn't reply. I wasn't feeling too well and took a nap. You don't have to come over, Amy just got home.'_

Beca let out a breath of relief.

_'Beca: I'm sorry :( I hope you feel better. You've taken all your medicine and stuff, right?'_

_'Chloe: Right.'_

Beca smiled and replied, _'Good job, Beale. I think we should talk face to face tomorrow. I have a lot to tell you.'_

What she got next wasn't exactly what she was expecting.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Double update because I couldn't leave that cliffhanger and I had this written already so I figured why not.

**Chapter 10 - Adoration **

"She agreed?" Jesse asked.

"She agreed," Beca stated.

"Does that mean she wants to talk to you about a lot of things, too?" He asked, "or that she wants to listen to you? Or maybe she wants to tell you she loves you!"

Aubrey laughed at Beca's pained expression, as Jesse was brainstorming.

"Dude, what if she tells you something totally unrelated? What if shes like moving again?"

Aubrey groaned, "Beca's already freaking out, would you shut up!"

Jesse put his hands up in mock surrender.

Beca sighed and slouched on Jesse's couch, "I really have no clue. And it's killing me. I'm so fucking scared. What if she doesn't feel the same? This is why I never told her. Rejection scares me. And love scares me even more."

Aubrey sat next to Beca, "I talked to Chloe yesterday evening."

"You did?" Jesse and Beca asked.

"I did. She said nothing bad and neither did I. I promise. But, I can pretty much guarantee you that she feels the same," Aubrey gave her a reassuring smile, so Beca stood up and huffed, "Wish me luck."

* * *

><p>Beca stood outside of Chloe's door and was on the verge of exploding. She had almost knocked five times now. Each time her mind kept telling her not to and she would just get hurt. Chloe was it for her and deep down she knew it. But the fear of the unknown kept creeping back into her mind and oozed into her deepest thoughts.<p>

Finally, she mustered up the courage and knocked, a little harsher than she expected. She could hear footsteps and her stomach began to erupt with butterflies, or maybe elephants would be more appropriate.

The door opened and revealed Chloe, looking as beautiful as ever in some grey sweatpants and a long sleeved burgundy shirt, with her red locks tied back and no makeup.

"Becs?"

Beca shook her head and blinked, "Sorry, you just," she let out a breath, "you look gorgeous," she mumbled.

Chloe shook her head this time and disregarded the comment letting Beca come inside.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Chloe asked, "cause I kind of wanted to talk to you, also."

They were standing right inside of the doorway, "Why, uh," Beca gulped, "why don't we sit on the couch?"

Chloe nodded and they went to sit down, she sat and leaned on the arm rest, as Beca sat at a respectable distance.

"So," Beca let out a breath, "I'm just going to spit it out because you have no idea how scared I am to tell you this," she was looking down and playing with her hands, she looked up and saw Chloe staring at her, she locked their eyes and gulped, "Chloe, I'm in love with you," she rushed out.

Chloe's jaw hung, and Beca covered her face, "I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said.

Chloe nodded and her lips parted but nothing came out.

"I just, I've loved you for so long, and I couldn't keep this from you any more. I broke up with Noelle yesterday. And that's what I wanted to tell you. I didn't want to say it through text cause it's pretty big, and I totally get if your weirded out and never, ever want to talk to me again,"

Chloe half smiled, and then furrowed her eye brows, then frowned. Beca could've almost laughed at the changing facial expressions if she wasn't so terrified at the moment.

"Why?" Chloe whispered.

"Why?" Beca said, "There's too many reasons."

Chloe shook her head, "I know I said what I said about our kiss and being more than friends, but you don't have to say this to make me feel better... I was hopped up on adrenaline from being so angry...," she furrowed her eyebrows and let out a small breath.

"Chloe, I love you. I love you so much. I really do love you more than Ross loved Rachel. And if you don't have the same feelings, that's completely fine," Beca said.

"How long?"

Beca shifted, "A while," she said.

"How long?"

_Forever._ "I realized I loved you when you turned eighteen. Remember how I took you to see a show?"

Chloe nodded, keeping her eyes from Beca's.

"That's when," she said, "but I'm positive I've always loved you, just never fully understood that it was love until then."

Beca's heart was pounding, her chest felt tight, and her head felt like it could explode. She felt tears start to poke through, but contained them.

"Are you serious?" Chloe asked quietly, "cause I," she sighed, "why?"

Beca thought about scooting closer to Chloe, but decided to stay still. She didn't want to make her even _more_ uncomfortable. _  
><em>

"I'm serious. You really want me to tell you all the reasons? Cause we would be here for hours."

Chloe half smiled and huffed, "You mean it? You're not just saying that cause you feel bad for me?"

Beca nodded her head forcefully, "I mean it, Chlo. I've been so indescribably in love with you for seven years," Beca figured she had already said the big part, so she keep going, "I've barely taken interest in anyone. I've dated two people my whole life because I can't get over you and I don't want to get over you. I want you to be mine, but if you don't want to be mine, I'll have to live with it," she said.

Chloe closed her eyes and let out a breath. She continued to sit with her eyes closed and Beca knew for sure that Chloe didn't feel the same.

"I'm scared," Chloe whispered.

"I'm scared, too," Beca whispered back, "I'm terrified. I'm petrified. I'm scared shitless,"

Chloe softly laughed and looked towards Beca, "What if I screw up? What if I do something stupid and you get angry and fall out of love with me and just think I'm a complete idiot?"

Beca decided to scoot closer to Chloe now, there was a twinge of hope that came rushing through, she placed her hand on Chloe's knee hesitantly, looked up at her and gave her a small smile, "If you screw up," she shrugged, "then you screw up," Beca said.

"Beca," she sighed, "I'm still sick, I'm still messed up, and I'm still full of panic attacks just waiting to happen."

Beca nodded, "I know. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere," she said.

Chloe started to tear up and she put her face in her hands, "I'm sorry, I was trying so hard not to cry," she mumbled.

Beca nodded and started to run her fingers along Chloe's back, "What does this mean?"

All the terror and pure fear was washed away with hope and slightest confidence that she finally told Chloe, and it seemed like maybe, just maybe she felt the same.

Chloe looked up again and smiled at Beca with tears brimming her eyes, "It means that you love me, and I'm scared beyond belief, because I love you, too,"

Beca couldn't contain her smile, "Really?"

"Really," Chloe softly said.

Beca nodded and grabbed Chloe's hands in hers, "Then let's be scared together. And I assume you're scared because you don't think anyone can really love you?"

Chloe looked down and nodded sheepishly.

Beca placed her right hand on Chloe's neck and traced her burn scars like she had done so many times before, as she kept her left hand holding Chloe's right.

"I'm scared, too. I'm scared because all my life I've told myself I don't need anyone. My parents split up and I vowed I wouldn't fall in love with anyone because it ends up in nothing but heart break. All my life I've convinced myself that I'm better off alone, and then I fell in love with you. I feel hard and it hurt more than ever. But once I accepted it, I knew that I couldn't live without you," Beca said, she lifted Chloe's chin so they were eye level, "I will never hurt you like Tom and Sarah did. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Chloe smiled through her tears, "I love you, too," she said quietly.

"I love you," Beca said.

"I love you," Chloe whispered.

Beca smiled, "I love you."

Chloe smiled back, "say it again."

"I love you," she said, "I love you so much. God, it feels so good to say that."

Chloe giggled and then sniffled, "So, does this mean, that we, we can kiss and it will be okay? And mean something?"

Beca nodded and leaned forward, ghosting her lips over Chloe's, "it always has meant something," she breathed out. Their nose touched and she could feel Chloe's smile coming through.

Finally, Beca pressed her lips to Chloe's. She wanted to be the one to initiate this kiss. It wasn't timid, it was slow, but fast. It was careful, but messy. She cupped Chloe's cheeks and Chloe grabbed the back of Beca's neck and brought her body impossibly closer. Chloe's back was leaning against the armrest of the couch and she pulled Beca on to her body. Chloe felt a warmth on her lip, and the redhead happily obliged. Chloe let Beca dominate her and moved with Beca's lips.

She had never kissed anyone like this before. So soft, careful, loving, passionate and most of all just pure adoration. When Tom kissed her it was rough, hurtful and disappointing. He didn't take time. It wasn't slow and loving. And then Sarah was uncaring with her pecks. She would kiss Chloe and it was like she didn't even matter. But with Beca, it was like a whole new world was opened up and Chloe never wanted to leave it.

Beca pulled back and saw Chloe's chest heaving up and down, so she placed a kiss on Chloe's nose and sat up, pulling Chloe with her.

"Holy shit," Chloe breathed out.

Beca laughed softly and went to talk, but was pushed down by Chloe's body and her lips were being attacked by the redheads.

It was just as loving, gentle, and poignant at before. Maybe a little more hasty on Chloe's part. Beca pulled away and kissed the corner of Chloe's mouth and saw Chloe had tears in her eyes, she sat them up and wiped them away.

"Hey," she cooed, "why are you crying?"

Chloe huffed, "Because you're amazing. You're so sweet and I can't believe this is happening. And you're an amazing kisser," she said.

Beca laughed, "You're not too bad yourself," she playfully said.

Chloe smiled, "I've loved you for a while, too," she shyly said,"I was planning on telling you."

Beca sat back on the couch and pulled Chloe to her side, Chloe laid her head on Beca's shoulder and the brunette started to run her fingers through her hair.

"How long?"

Chloe sighed, "Since we were fourteen and kissed."

Beca sarcastically gasped, "I knew it!"

Chloe giggled and turned her head, then pressed a kiss to Beca's cheek.

"I can't believe this," she mumbled, "does this mean were a couple or are we just seeing how things go?"

"I want to take you on a date," Beca stated, "I've waited so damn long for this, so I want to do this right. For the moment, seeing how things go?"

"Fine by me," Chloe said softly and continued to lay her head on Beca's shoulder as she ran her fingers though Chloe's locks over and over and before they knew it they drifted off.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Beca woke up with Chloe now lying on top of her with her head rested on Beca's chest, as she had her head rested on the other armrest. She smiled and wrapped her arms around the redhead and started tracing lazy circles on her clothed back.<p>

It was peaceful and quiet, then all of a sudden Amy came barging through the door and Chloe jumped up out of Beca's embrace. She sat up and started to breath heavily and her face became flushed, she looked to Beca with this pure fear in her eyes, Beca sat up and scooted over to the redhead and placed her hand on Chloe's knee.

"Hey, you," she cooed, "it's okay, you're okay," she said gently.

Amy didn't noticed the two of them on the couch, she stumbled back into her room without any coherent words. The two girls assumed she was drunk or just very oblivious.

Chloe's heavy breathing started to die down and she closed her eyes as Beca ran her fingers over Chloe's back too sooth her. Beca laid back down and Chloe followed. She laid against the couch as Chloe turned into her body and rested her head in the crook of Beca's neck, she wrapped her arm over Chloe's back and continued to draw patterns. She knew it calmed her, she knew it made her sleepy, she did it until her breathing was back to normal. Once it was at a steady pace she kissed Chloe's forehead and scooted down so they were face to face.

"You okay?"

Chloe nodded.

"Why did you freak out? You don't have to tell me," Beca said gently.

"No, uh," she said, "remember how I told you I used to sleep a lot when I was in Arizona?"

Beca nodded.

"Well, like I said Tom didn't let me leave the house, and when he would come home he always barged through the door and then he, he would always make me have sex with him,"

Beca gulped and nodded, "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Chloe half smiled, "it's not your fault." she whispered back.

"I know, but that just really is horrible. Did you ever tell him to you didn't want to?"

Chloe let out a breath, "In the beginning, yeah, but he would always make me, after a while I just let it happen,"

"Well, you're safe now," Beca stated firmly.

Chloe smiled and looked into Beca's eyes, "I know,"

After a few moments Beca said, "you want to go back to sleep?"

Chloe shook her head, "not yet," she said gently, "I just want to lay here with you."

Beca nodded and smiled, they're faces were close and their noses barely touched. Beca looked to Chloe's lips and when she looked back up she saw Chloe doing the same.

Chloe let out a breath and Beca did the same. There was so much tension in the air. Not like earlier when they kissed. But like the other night. The tension was at such a high and their eyes were locked as if it was the last time they would ever see one another.

It was a tension so subliminal yet so loving neither one wanted to break it.

Beca leaned back and admired Chloe, "You really are gorgeous," she stated firmly, "and earlier when you brushed it off," she paused, "why did you look at me like I was crazy?"

Chloe closed her eyes and pursed her lips. She let out a breathy scoff, "cause I'm not," she barely said.

"I wouldn't lie to you," Beca said.

Chloe opened her eyes, "I know," she said, "I just don't feel comfortable hearing that," she paused and her cheeks reddened, "it's weird to hear that, it makes me feel awkward, it makes me feel like you're saying that because you know _I _don't think it, and not because _you_ think it."

Beca nodded, "I won't say it then, but just know, that I think you are the most beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking person in the whole entire universe," she stated.

Chloe got red again and smiled, "say it again."

Beca laughed, "You just basically told me not to?"

"I know," she said, "it's weird hearing it, but at the same time it's nice,"

Beca wrapped her hand around Chloe's neck and brought her in for a slow, drawn out kiss.

"You're beautiful," she whispered against her lips, she kissed her jaw, "You're gorgeous," she said.

Chloe could feel Beca's warm breath moving down from her jawline to her neck and she shuddered, "You're breathtaking," she stated as she kissed the area under Chloe's jawline, the brunette tried to continue her caring stupor, when she was stopped.

"You don't have to kiss my neck," Chloe said softly, "I understand."

Beca titled her head back up and looked into Chloe's eyes, "Don't worry about them, they're a part of you and that makes you just as beautiful," she said.

Chloe started to tear up and Beca mentally kicked herself, "I'm sorry," she said, she closed her eyes and sat up, leaving Chloe lying down, "I should've just listened to you."

"No," Chloe said, "No, I'm just so happy." She stated, "I'm just a big huge teary mess."

Beca smiled, "You're still cute."

Chloe wiped her tears and smiled, "I wish we could've told each other sooner," she said, "all those years of acting like a couple, and doing things together," she laughed, "why didn't we just tell each other?"

"Well, for one, I was scared. And I didn't want to lose you. I thought that if I told you that I was in love with you and you didn't feel the same that we wouldn't be friends anymore," she stated, "I figured, I'd rather keep my feelings to myself than loose my best-friend."

Chloe huffed and half smiled, "Me too," she said.

"What if we don't work out? What if we try and date and it doesn't work? What if since we have been friends for so long that it's awkward?" Chloe rambled.

"I don't think it will not work. I mean, kissing you and saying I love you feels so right. And I don't think it would feel this right if this wasn't meant to happen," she said, "and plus, we have always acted like more than friends."

Chloe smiled and shook her head, "Beca Mitchell you are such a softie. How can anyone think you're a bad ass?"

Beca laughed, "It's only for you, Chlo."

Chloe hummed, "What if," she paused and her face scrunched up, "you know what I just thought of?"

"What?"

Chloe sat up fully and sat cross legged on the couch, "What if, you know, cause it will probably happen someday, hopefully?" she said, "What if we try to have, uh, like have sex... And we're like Joey and Rachel!? What if we just can't get past kissing?"

Beca smirked, "Then we will be one of those couples that never have sex."

Chloe laughed, "I had a feeling you would use that."

Beca shrugged, "When we get there, we get there," she said.

Chloe nodded, "Can I kiss you then?"

Beca laughed, "No,"

Chloe gasped, "Fine." She stood up and walked into her bedroom.

Beca was yet again surprised by Chloe's answer, she sat for a moment, before going after her.

When Beca walked in she saw Chloe was crawling into her bed.

"I need some sweatpants or something," Beca stated.

From her bed, Chloe voiced, "there's another pair in those drawers, top one,"

Beca nodded and went to get the pair, she opened it and saw all the mix CD's she had made for Chloe long ago. She smiled and her heart swelled that the redhead still had them.

She took the sweatpants and turned around, "You still have these?"

Chloe sat up with a red face, "Yeah, I still listen to them, too. The songs are a little old, but I still love them."

Beca laughed, "So, you still listen to your lady jam, I see? I could've sworn you said you didn't?"

Chloe bit her lip, "Okay, maybe I do," she mumbled with a blush creeping, "more frequently now."

Beca smirked, "fair enough," she said.

"I would change in the bathroom, but since you don't have one in your room, I guess I'll have to do it here?"

Chloe nodded, "Oh, yeah, that, that's fine."

Chloe looked away and Beca smirked. She changed quickly and crawled into Chloe's bed.

"You know," she began, "the only thing different about us now is that we are aware of our feelings."

Chloe snuggled up to Beca, being her little spoon, "Right, you're still the short big spoon, and I'm the taller little spoon," she said, "And now we can kiss whenever we want," Chloe said and turned her head to peck Beca's lips.

"We can," Beca said, letting the short comment slide, she kissed her again, this time slightly more drawn out.

Chloe pulled back and smiled, "kiss me again,"

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't pull apart," Beca retorted.

She leaned in again and kissed her slowly. Pouring her emotions and love into it. Surprisingly to Beca, Chloe deepened it. She felt Chloe's hands cup her cheeks and rub the pads of her thumbs on her warm skin. Beca rested her hand on Chloe's hip and made crescent moon shapes over her tiny bit of exposed skin.

Soon enough, Chloe ended up pressed to Beca's body, trying to get impossibly closer. Beca could feel the heat in her body rise and she knew if she didn't stop this now it would go too far. Beca didn't want to pressure Chloe into anything, she knew from Amy that Chloe wasn't comfortable with her body. She also knew from the redheads body language that she wasn't confident. Plus, they decided to just see how things go.

She pulled back from Chloe, "we should stop," Beca let out with a breath.

Chloe nodded, "yeah," she said and kissed Beca again, it wasn't a deep, but still just as compassionate.

It wasn't until that moment that they were truly sure that this really would be the start of something amazing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 - Kisses**

A few hours after drifting off Beca woke up with Chloe snuggled into her side and could feel her hot breath dampening her shirt. She smiled and kissed Chloe's forehead and then began to place kisses all over her face very gently. She kissed the bridge of her nose, her nose, her cheeks, and then when Chloe started to stir, she kissed her chin, and her forehead once again.

Chloe scrunched her face and cracked one eye open, "What are you doing?" she asked hoarsely.

"Kissing you," Beca stated as she went in to kiss Chloe's lips.

"Wait, I have morning breath," Chloe said as she covered her lips.

Beca nodded and backed away, then when Chloe removed her hands and wasn't expecting it she pulled their bodies close by the back of Chloe's lower back and kissed her good morning.

"Good morning," Chloe hummed.

"Good morning," Beca said back, "I still love you,"

Chloe half laughed and rolled over, "You're a weirdo," she mumbled.

"I'm never going to stop telling you," Beca stated playfully.

She didn't hear anything from Chloe. "I'm going to make you breakfast," Beca kissed the nape of Chloe's neck and started to get out of bed.

Chloe turned back around and pouted, "Stay," she whined.

Beca slumped, "Don't do that, no, you- you know I can't," Beca sighed as Chloe continued to pout, "well, I see your pouting skills are still top notch," Beca stated as she laid back down.

Chloe curled into her and smiled, she kissed Beca's forehead, the bridge of her nose, her nose, her cheeks, then her chin, and lastly her forehead. Once she finished she gave Beca a smug smile.

"You copy cat," Beca chided, "get your own moves."

Chloe giggled, "Fine," she nestled herself so she was face to face with the front of Beca's neck and kissed it.

"There," she said softly.

Chloe couldn't see but Beca smiled like an idiot and didn't make any motive for Chloe to not kiss her. She didn't do anything else, but Beca could still feel her breath on her skin.

"You okay?" Beca asked.

"I'm okay. I just thought I did something wrong," she mumbled.

Beca laughed, "What would you have done wrong?"

"You didn't say anything," Chloe mumbled.

"Oh," Beca said.

At times Beca felt like Chloe was herself again, and then other times it was like they were strangers getting to know one another. And every move had to be granted access or Chloe thought it was wrong.

"Try again," Beca suggested.

Chloe moved the top of Beca's shirt to the side and kissed her collarbone.

Beca hummed, "Keep this up and we might just have a winner for the best collarbone kisser."

"Shut up," she chided.

Beca scooted down so she was face to face with Chloe, "You wanted me to say something, you weirdo," she said.

Chloe smiled, "You know, you really make me feel so much better."

Beca kissed Chloe's nose, "I try."

"If it's just me and you I don't feel as scared and vulnerable. I don't feel like my mind is eating me alive," she stated, "my stomach doesn't hurt, and I feel happy. You make me happy," she said quietly.

"Your stomach doesn't hurt?" Beca asked, "does it usually?"

"Yeah, cause I'm always anxious," she stated.

Beca nodded, "How do you stop it?"

Chloe shook her head, "It doesn't go away. Sometimes it's really bad. Other times it feels like I'm being eaten by a monster or something," she paused, "it's a lingering feeling that I can never get away from." she rolled on to her back, "anyway, let's not talk about all my silly problems," she said.

Beca nodded and propped herself up on her hand, "But you know if you want to we can," she said.

Chloe nodded and smiled, "Why don't we talk about you?" she said, "you've been so busy making sure I'm okay that we haven't once talked about you."

Beca bobbed her head, "I'm still not good with sharing things about myself. That's one."

Chloe smiled, "You still talk to Stacie and Lily?"

"Yeah, Stacie works at the club, and Lily moved out of state. I haven't really spoken with her since high school."

"How are your parents?"

Beca sighed, "I haven't talked to my Dad since you left. And my Mom moved out to California about two years ago. I haven't seen her since. But I call her pretty regularly."

Chloe looked up at Beca, "I miss your Mom. She was always so funny and she embarrassed the hell out of you. You should visit her. I've heard California is really nice."

"That I don't miss, but yeah, I miss her, too," Beca said, "I should, but I'm not sure when."

"And your Dad?"

"My Dad he uh, when you left, your parents apparently told him why, and I don't know how much he knew, but he tried to tell me and I didn't want to know. I figured the best way to find out was from you. We got into a huge argument and it's not worth talking about, but we haven't spoken since."

"I'm so sorry," Chloe said, "it's all my fault."

Beca shook her head and laughed, "No, Chlo. You know how bad our relationship has been ever since they got divorced. You know how much I resent him. It's not your fault at all."

Chloe nodded slowly, "Is he still with her?"

Beca shrugged her right shoulder, "Beats me."

Chloe nodded and yawned.

Beca smiled at how cute it was, "Why don't you go back to sleep and I'll make some food?"

Chloe nodded again, "Okay," she softly said.

Beca kissed her forehead and then got out of bed, as Chloe closed her eyes with a small smile tugging at her lips.

* * *

><p>As Beca was looking around the kitchen for some food she was met with Amy walking into the kitchen.<p>

"Short stack, you're like always here," she said.

"I know," she stated, "Chloe and I are pretty close."

"How close? Like so close you guys do some lady lovin'?" Amy asked as she got some cereal, then sat down.

Beca laughed while she watched Amy and leaned against the counter, "No. No lady lovin'."

Amy nodded and began to eat, "If I hear any noises one night I'll be cheering for you."

Beca's eyes widened, "O-okay, thanks?"

Amy stood up after she was done, then went to wash her bowl out and saluted, "See ya, midget," then walked out.

Beca shook her head and half smiled, then went back to looking for something to make for Chloe.

* * *

><p>A half an hour and some over cooked scrambled eggs and slightly burnt toast later, she had food made. As she was letting it cool, she decided to text Jesse.<p>

_'I've got a lot to tell you at work tonight.'_

Beca then set their food on the coffee table in the living room. She thought about bringing the food to Chloe, but it was almost noon, and she didn't want Chloe laying in bed all day.

She carefully walked back into Chloe's room and saw she was curled up in a little ball. Her face was relaxed, something Beca hadn't seen while she slept in a while. She had a barely noticeable smile playing at her lips.

Beca walked over to the side Chloe was on and kissed her cheek, "Hey, you," she whispered.

Chloe rolled over towards Beca and opened one eye, "What?"

Beca chuckled, "I made some food."

Chloe hummed, "You didn't have to make anything."

Beca nodded, "I know, I know. But c'mon, it's gonna get cold and gross if you don't hurry."

Chloe arched her back up into a stretch and giggled when she saw Beca staring at her exposed stomach.

"Like whatcha see?"

Beca cleared her throat, "C'mon," she said and began to walk out. Chloe stood up and followed Beca. They sat down on the couch and Chloe smiled at how sweet Beca was to make them breakfast.

"Oh, and I made coffee, hold on a sec," Beca said, she began to stand up but was pulled back down and suddenly Chloe's lips were on hers. Chloe pulled back after a moment and smiled, "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me Beca Mitchell."

* * *

><p>"She said I was the best thing that's ever happened to her," Beca said with a dazed glint in her eyes.<p>

"I actually can't believe you told her," Jesse paused, "Holy crap."

Beca smirked and shrugged as she began to open up the night club. Jesse stood behind the bar making sure everything was in order. Beca walked back over and laughed and his dumbfounded expression.

"You okay there, bud?"

Jesse huffed, "I just can't believe you told her. Honestly, I thought she would've been the one to tell you," he stated.

Beca nodded, "I think everyone thought that. But no, I told her first. And it was so nerve wracking, she looked so confused. And I swore she didn't feel the same and I was about ready to come over to your place and sock you," she said.

Jesse laughed, "Little Beca trying to punch me in the face? What a sight to see," he mocked.

Beca glared, "Just be happy she said she loves me back," she said.

"CHLOE?"

Beca turned around and saw Stacie smiling widely at her.

"Chloe," Beca stated.

Stacie squealed and jumped up and down while clapping her hands together, "Finally! When did you tell her?"

"Last night after work, I talked with Jesse and Aubrey and I went over to her apartment and told her. And yeah, we told each other," she said.

Stacie was still smiling, "It's about damn time! How long has it been since you two fell in love? Almost eleven years!?"

Beca rolled her eyes and bobbed her head, "Yeah, yeah, whatever," she said.

Jesse laughed, "She said that they talked about why it took so long and its cause they were afraid of the outcome." He told Stacie.

The tall brunette nodded and smirked, "Have you had sex yet?"

Beca's face went red and Jesses mouth parted, "You did not!? You so had sex last night!" Stacie gasped, "Is she good? I feel like you would be a top, but then I also think Chloe would be a top... You know since she's assertive-"

"We didn't have sex!"

Stacie's smile fell and Jesse only laughed lightly.

"We didn't have sex, okay? And plus, we're just talking things slowly," Beca stated.

"Are you guys girlfriends, at least?" Stacie asked.

"No," Beca mumbled, "we decided to just go on a date and see how things go."

"But you two know each other. You've already said I love you and it's not like you two are strangers," Jesse said.

Stacie agreed, "Did you not ask?"

Beca sighed, "Kind of? She asked if we were a couple now, and I told her that I wanted to take her on a date, so for now no."

"Couldn't you of asked her to go on a date and be your girlfriend?" Stacie asked, "like Jesse said, you two ready know each other."

Beca shook her head, "I don't want to rush things. She already doesn't think I really love her, and she already thinks that I'm going to hurt her like Tom and Sarah. I want her to be able to fully trust me and for her to be one hundred percent sure that she knows I won't hurt her before we launch into a relationship," Beca said, "and it's weird, sometimes I feel like we're the same old Beca and Chloe, and other times I feel like we just met and were learning everything and anything about one another," Beca stated, "but anyway, she's not ready to take that step I don't think. And that's okay. I'm not rushing her or anything."

Jesse and Stacie smiled smugly at each other, and they each were thinking the same thing.

_Beca is so whipped, but so in love._

"Okay, then. So, any luck with filling Aubrey's assistant position?" Stacie randomly asked.

Jesse shook his head, "No luck. She can't find anyone."

Beca's eyes lighted up, "Can anyone do it?"

Jesse shrugged, "I guess. All the job is is filing papers."

"Can Chloe do it?"

"I'll ask Aubrey about it. She looking for a job?"

"She said she was, but I don't really think she's looked. I think she's nervous. She gets really nervous with meeting new people and putting herself out there."

"What? Chloe?" Stacie asked.

Jesse and Beca nodded, "I noticed that when we had lunch. She seemed really nervous."

"Yeah, she was trying real hard not to let it show, but it kind of did. She was actually pretty lively compared to normal," Beca said.

"Wow, they really messed her up."

Beca sighed, "Yep. And that's why I'm trying my hardest to help her. But this is great that she can do this job! She needs to get out and do things. She doesn't get out much."

Stacie nodded, "Well, I'm going to the back to put my stuff away," she said and left.

"I'm pretty sure she can file papers, right?" Jesse asked.

Beca nodded, "Yes, it's not much, but it will do for now." She said with a grin.

* * *

><p>As Beca was on her way home she texted Chloe.<p>

_'I just got you a job. You're welcome ;)'_

She was patiently waiting in the elevator up to her apartment, when she got a reply.

_'Chloe: Really? What is it?'_

_'Beca: Aubrey works in an office in Brooklyn, and she needs an assistant... And you've got it. I convinced Aubrey today when she came to visit Jesse after I asked him.'_

Beca walked into her apartment and threw her bag down, then made herself comfortable on her couch.

_'Chloe: Seriously!? Becs, you're the best!'_

Beca smiled, '_I know, I know. I'm picking you up tomorrow and taking you, then I'm going to plan our date with Jesse. Sound okay?'_

_'Chloe: That's more than okay. Ugh, I love yooouuuu.'_

Beca beamed, '_I'll never get used to hearing that. You've taken all your medicine, right? I know you took the anti-anxiety when we ate, but you took the others and took care of your neck, right? Cause if you didn't you're in trouble.'_

She laid down against the arm rest of the couch and laid her legs in front of her.

_'Chloe: I've taken care of it all. I promise. But if didn't, how would I be in trouble?'_

_'Beca: I won't kiss you or let you come over. And I won't let you kiss me or visit you. For the whole day.'_

_'Chloe: I guess I'm going to be using Titanium a lot more often then if that would be the case.'_

Beca's mouth dropped and then she gulped. _Okay, this is totally the old Chloe._ Beca thought.

_'Beca: I see. Well, you should get to bed. I'll pick you up around eight tomorrow.'_

_'Chloe: Can't wait. Goodnight. I love you. Xx'_

Beca smiled, _'I love you, weirdo.'_

* * *

><p><em>'Im outside your door.'<em> Beca texted.

_'Chloe: One sec.'_

Chloe opened the door and smiled at Beca, "Hey," she gently said.

"Hey," Beca breathed out, "Wow." She mumbled as she looked over Chloe's body.

She was in casual wear, with jeans, combat boots, a sweater, and a coat she borrowed from Amy. She had her hair down in her naturally wavy form with a bit of mascara on. But, to Beca she was still as stunning as ever.

Chloe's face reddened, "I wasn't sure what to wear. I went with not too casual, but not dressy. Do you think it's okay? Cause I don't have any dressy wear. And I don't want to look stupid. Do you think Aubrey will be okay with it? She seems kind of uptight and I don't want-"

"Chlo," Beca said, "you look perfect."

The red head half smiled, "are you sure? I'm worried that it's not good enough. I borrowed this coat from Amy, but I-"

"Stop rambling," Beca said, she stepped inside and closed the door. She wrapped her arm around Chloe's waist and brought her in close, "I promise you are perfectly fine. Today is just about learning. Eventually you might have to dress a little nicer, but for today this is okay."

"I'm nervous," Chloe mumbled as she set her hands on Beca's shoulders.

Beca nodded and let her arms snake up Chloe's body and cupped her cheeks, "I know. But there's nothing to worry about. You're going to do just fine. You've taken the medicine, right?"

Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's neck and rested her forehead against the brunettes, "You're ways going to ask me that, huh?"

"I just want to make sure you're taking care if yourself," Beca whispered.

Chloe half smiled and hummed. The pair stood there embracing each others warmth for a few moments, until Chloe heard Amy yell if she had left yet.

Chloe jumped and scrunched her face up, Beca didn't let go of her and ran her hands up and down Chloe's arm to calm her, "Not yet, Amy. I'm just leaving."

She motioned for the door and Beca nodded, then stepped away from Chloe to open it, they walked out and started to walk to the elevator.

But just as they were about ten feet away they heard Amy yell, "You forgot your phone, shadow."

Chloe turned around and went to get it, "Thanks,"

Amy nodded, "Good luck."

Chloe smiled and began to walk back to Beca who was waiting at the elevator, when she heard, "And tone it down with Titanium, that song is so old!"

Chloe's face became red as a tomato and her eyes closed as she reached Beca, she didn't dare turn back around. She couldn't see Beca's face, but she assumed she was either red or stifling a laugh.

They stepped into the elevator and Chloe sighed and looked to Beca, "I can't even deny it, can I?"

Beca smirked and walked over to Chloe so she was against the elevator wall, she placed her hands on the railings, "After what you said last night, there's no point." She whispered. The brunette ghosted her lips over Chloe's and smiled when her breath hitched. Chloe tried kissing her, but the door opened and Beca backed away, leaving Chloe breathless.

* * *

><p>"Becs, what if I mess up?" Chloe asked as they made their way towards the office.<p>

Jesse had let Beca borrow his car once again. But, not before he hassled her about just getting her own car. It's not like she couldn't afford it. She denied it and just thanked him.

They had just arrived from about a half hour care ride into Brooklyn from Chloe's little apartment. The whole ride Chloe was bobbing her legs up and down and she kept fiddling with her earrings. Beca stopped them just as they got to the building.

"Chloe," Beca said softly. She rested her hands on Chloe's shoulders and smiled up at her, "Stop worrying."

Chloe nodded sheepishly and they walked into the building hand in hand with a few strange looks after people who realized their hands were intertwined. They passed the front desk and walked up to Aubrey's little office. Beca knocked and Aubrey quickly opened.

"Hey, you two," Aubrey said.

She was very aware of the newfound information on the status of the pair. Obviously, since Jesse was her boyfriend she learned of everything.

"Hi," Chloe said timidly.

They walked in and Aubrey shut the door behind them. Beca led Chloe over to the desk and sat her in the chair.

"So, Aubrey is going to just show you what to file and how to file. Nothing too hard."

Chloe nodded and raked her eyes over the desk. It was clean and clear. Really nice. The laptop was a new MacBook and Chloe was astonished with how clean everything was. And there was a nice view of the water from the large window. She smiled up at Aubrey and Beca, "Okay."

"Okay, well, I'm going to go and I'll be back at the end of the day to pick you up," she directed to Chloe.

Chloe smiled a little nervously, "Okay."

Beca smiled down at her, "You'll do fine," she stated firmly.

"Yeah, nothing you can't handle today," Aubrey said.

Beca patted Chloe's back, she thought about kissing her goodbye, but decided against it. She looked up at Aubrey, "Can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

Aubrey nodded and the two walked out of the office, with Beca giving a reassuring smile to Chloe who looked like she was going to barf.

* * *

><p>"She looks so scared, poor thing," Aubrey said.<p>

"I know. She has been freaking out the whole morning."

"I'll make sure she's okay," Aubrey stated with a smile.

"That's all I ask." Beca said.

"So, about you two," Aubrey said, "holding hands?"

Beca smirked, "That's nothing new, believe me."

Aubrey laughed, "I'm glad things worked out. And that Noelle is gone."

Beca smiled, "I am too. If anything goes wrong with her call me," Beca said.

Aubrey nodded, "Will do."

Beca turned around and proceeded to make her way out.

"Who was that little redhead?" Aubrey heard a voice ask just a a she was about to return, then the voice was met with a body soon enough.

"My new assistant," Aubrey stated firmly.

"She's something else," This man stated.

Aubrey pursed her lips, "Don't even think about it."

"What?" He said, "I was just saying."

Aubrey nodded, "So was I." She stated and walked back into her office.

She saw Chloe sitting, staring blankly off into space while messing with her earrings.

"You ready to file some papers?"

* * *

><p>Beca was making her way back into her neck of the woods and she stopped by Jesses so they could plan the date. Beca wasn't a romantic, she wasn't mushy. Jesse was. Or so Aubrey says... But Beca needed help. She didn't want the date to be over the top, but she didn't want it to be boring either.<p>

She made it to Jesse's and walked right up, opened the door and sighed.

"So, I don't have a clue what to do for our date."

Jesse laughed and sat up from the couch.

"Take her to a nice dinner."

"No."

"A movie."

"Really?" Beca deadpanned.

"A drive in?"

Bea thought for a moment. "Maybe."

"Bowling?"

"Chloe hates bowling. We need a great idea! Not mediocre." Beca said as she sat down next to him.

"Maybe you should just do something causal."

Beca sighed, "I want this to be perfect, though."

"I have a feeling Chloe won't mind if you stayed home and made dinner. That's romantic."

Beca groaned, "No. That's boring."

Jesse laughed, "What are you gonna do? Take the poor girl bungee jumping? She would probably have a heart attack,"

Beca sighed, "What would you do?"

"Do something fun, but not exciting. It's a first date. And since your past the getting to know one another, it's like a second date. In a way."

Beca nodded and continued to think of things Chloe liked.

_Doughnuts and coffee._

_Movies._

_Broadway shows._

_Skittles._

_Cuddling._

_Puppies._

"I got it!"

* * *

><p>Hours and what seemed like thousands of filling papers later, it was around two when Aubrey let Chloe have a break. She let Chloe go up to the second floor and get some food that Aubrey had stored in the conference room.<p>

Chloe was up there sitting in one of the chairs at a table. She got an apple and some peanut butter Aubrey had said was in the fridge and began eating it. She pulled out her phone and texted Beca right after she took her medicine and ate.

_'Hey, you. Filing is easy, but after a while it gets boring. Aubrey let me have a break just now. How's the date planning going?'_

Not even a minute later Chloe got a reply.

'_Beca: Perfect. I know exactly what we will be doing.'_

Chloe smiled, '_Any hints?'_

_'Beca: Not a chance.'_

Chloe giggled, _'Guess what? :)'_

_'Beca: What? :)'_

_'Chloe: I took my medicine. Does that mean I'm not in trouble? Cause I can't live without your kisses, Becs. And you've not once kissed me today :('_

Chloe looked around as she waited for a reply, bobbing her head as she looked at the nice fellow tables and pristine room.

_'Beca: Maybe after I pick you I can show you that you're certainly not in trouble... Well, unless you want to be?'_

Chloe smiled at the text, and then she wondered if Beca knew what Chloe thought this meant...

"What's got you smiling, new girl?"

Chloe snapped her head up from her phone, "Oh, nothing," she lied.

The unfamiliar man walked in and leaned against the door frame, "You were blushing and smiling like a little girl. Boyfriend?" He asked.

Chloe shook her head slightly, "No."

He nodded, "I see."

Chloe gulped, "Yeah."

"I'm Ryan." He introduced himself.

"Chloe," she said back.

"Well, Chloe. What are you here for? A new lawyer?"

"Uh, no," she said, "I'm just Aubrey's assistant, I guess. I file papers for her."

Chloe started to get anxious. She knew she was overreacting. But talking with new people made her anxiety rise. And something about this setting seemed all too familiar.

"I see," Ryan said, "You know, you're really beautiful. Much more attractive than the other newbies."

Chloe's cheeks reddened and she laughed awkwardly.

"And I was wondering,"

Chloe heard, "I told you to not even try," then saw Aubrey come into view.

She let out a breath of relief. He turned around awkwardly and made his way out.

"Thanks," Chloe mumbled.

Aubrey nodded, "He is a real prick. I'm happy to do that. Now, c'mon, those papers don't file themselves."

* * *

><p>Beca and Chloe had just walked in Chloe's apartment after Beca picked her up. Chloe immediately kissed Beca once the door closed. It was rough, yet still slightly timid.<p>

"You haven't kissed me all day and I love kissing you," Chloe said, "and I've been taking my medicine so there's no reason."

Beca smirked, "I wanted to see how long you would last without me," and leaned in again to kiss Chloe. She stepped forward so the redhead was against the door and she placed her hands on Chloe's hips as Chloe snaked her hands around Beca's neck, fulling giving into each others lips.

"I have," Beca let out a breath, "I have to go in thirty minutes for work,"

Chloe nodded, "What do you think we should do until then?" She whispered against Beca's lips.

"Hmm," Beca slid her hand down so they were at Chloe's lower back, "I can make you dinner?"

Chloe chuckled breathily, "I don't want any food per say," she said.

Beca raised her eyebrows and titled her head, "Oh," she said.

Chloe laughed nervously, "Sorry," she mumbled, she stepped away from Beca and ran her hand through her hair, "I didn't mean like... You know," she said.

Beca laughed, "Yeah, totally."

Chloe's face went red, "Maybe I did, or maybe I didn't, but I'm not hungry,"

Beca nodded, "You sure?"

Chloe sat on the couch and motioned for Beca to come over. She complied and Chloe pushed her down so she was leaning against the armrest and laid her head down on Beca's chest.

"You could ask," Beca joked.

Chloe sat up, "I'm sorry. I just missed you today and-"

Beca laughed and sat up as well, "I'm kidding," she said and pecked Chloe's lips.

Beca wrapped her her arms around Chloe and brought her close as she laid down.

"I'm excited for our date," Chloe said gently.

"I am too. It's this Friday," Beca said.

"Why so far?"

"That was the only day it would all work out," Beca said.

Beca felt Chloe nod against her chest and she kissed her head.

"I hope you didn't do anything too over the top, as long as in with you it will be perfect," Chloe stated.

"Don't worry. Let's just say... It will definitely be a surprise."

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for the reviews on the last two chapters. And thanks to Miss-Statement for always leaving such nice, long reviews. I love them and hearing how you think the stories going. Anyway, thanks for reading :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 - Puppy Love**

The next few days went by painfully slow for Chloe as she fell into a routine. Wake up early, eat, take her medicine. With the added of filing papers and not being able to spend much time with Beca. The only plus was that she got to see her girlfriend... Or her best-friend, who she loves more than anything, or whatever Beca was at the moment in the morning since she was her ride. With Beca having to go into work as Chloe gets off work, Aubrey is her ride home. So, that means that the pair don't spend time together unless it's the early morning hours.

Luckily for the both of them, they had not had any problems from Noelle, and they really hoped it would stay that way.

With a few heated kisses here and there Chloe was beginning to wonder why Beca would always stop once things got a little farther. They would kiss like their lives depended on it on the couch, against doors, even in the kitchen. But after five minutes of that, Beca would always stop. They hadn't been spending any nights together since they declared their feelings and Chloe really missed the girls touch and loving embrace as she fell asleep and woke up. One night of that and Chloe knew she was hooked. But, she figured it was just Beca trying to go slow. Which she internally swooned at. But each time they kissed Chloe wanted more and more. She made a mental note to ask.

Chloe had been doing well at her new job. With filing Aubrey's papers, answering her calls, and doing many things for her. She didn't mind. It was a good, stable job for now.

The only pardon she had was that Ryan was constantly trying to befriend her. After the first day he was always talking to her and wanting to be her well... he said friend, but Chloe wasn't dumb. She knew she shouldn't be so worried; but history can repeat itself. Not that the exact problem would happen, but she was still worried. Her anxiety getting the best of her.

She figured that nothing would go wrong since she had Beca to go to now. Now more than ever with their feelings being out in the open, Chloe knew that nothing could break them. Or so she hoped.

* * *

><p>It was Friday and Beca had just dropped Chloe off. Chloe hoped Beca would at least peck her goodbye, but no. Again, she assumed it was the going slow factor and that maybe Beca wasn't fond of PDA.<p>

Ever since Chloe woke up this morning she had a beaming smile etched on her face. The date was today. Beca was taking the night off and right after Chloe was done with work she would be picking Chloe up and they were going out.

It was around two, the time Aubrey let Chloe have a break. She was walking up to the conference room where she always had her lunch when she was yet again met with Ryan.

Chloe grabbed her lunch Beca made for her. It only made her fall harder. The gesture was so adorable and Chloe couldn't help but smile as she took it out of the small fridge.

"You know what I noticed about you?" He asked.

Chloe looked up as she held the bag in her hands.

"You're extremely quiet and you keep to yourself, but you always have that beautiful smile on your face."

She blushed and half smiled, "I'm just gonna go back to Aubrey's office."

"Why don't you sit with me?" He asked.

Chloe knew she shouldn't be so worried about simply eating lunch with him. It wasn't like he was rude about it. He was a nice guy. But so was Tom... That's what her thoughts kept going back to. Tom was sweet at first and then it was like a train hit her. She was also slightly embarrassed about having to take her pills in front of him and she awanted to text Beca.

"Maybe another time?" She weakly asked.

He nodded and smiled, "That's fine."

She let out a breath and half smiled, with an awkward wave then walked back into Aubrey's empty office. She sat down at the desk and smiled as she opened the bag.

"Oh my God," she cooed.

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, apples, a water bottle and some skittles.

She smiled widely and texted Beca.

_'Thank you so much for the lunch. You are the best, Becs :)'_

She began to eat the sandwich as she thought of just how sweet Beca was, when she saw her phone screen light up she smiled once again.

_'Beca: No problem, Chlo :) Did you see the note?'_

Chloe knitted her eyebrows together and looked in the bag again to find a folded piece of paper.

_'Hey, my gorgeous girl. I know how much you love pb and j. And the apples and water are because you're supposed to be eating healthy... But the skittles are because you've been such good sport ;) I hope you have a great day and that you're excited for our date tonight, because I sure as hell am. I love you. Your badass, Beca.'_

Chloe giggled and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face if she tried. She was wholeheartedly, undeniably in love with Beca Mitchell. And she was falling harder by the second.

* * *

><p>Beca was walking into the office with a smile playing at her lips. She was excited. Even more so for Chloe.<p>

She walked into Aubrey's office. The blonde looked up as she heard the door open, "Hey! Chloe is so excited. She's been smiling all day."

Beca smirked and leaned against the door, "Where's my girl?"

"She went to use the bathroom," Aubrey said, "the one around the corner."

Beca nodded and walked back out then headed for the bathroom. She walked in and smiled when she saw Chloe, but then her lips curved in when she saw her looking at herself with a slight frown.

"Hey, gorgeous."

Chloe turned around and smiled, "Hey."

Beca walked towards her and placed her hands on Chloe's cheeks. She looked into her eyes and half smiled. She slid her hands down on to her neck and played with a the stray hairs. Beca then kissed the same patch of skin on Chloe's forehead she had been that was scarred over.

"I love you," Beca stated, "and you are so beautiful."

Chloe half smiled, "You're too good to me."

Beca smiled, "You ready to go?"

Chloe beamed, "Yeah."

"Okay, c'mon."

Beca grabbed Chloe's hand and they walked out, went into Aubrey's office and said goodbye, then walked out of the office with matching smiles.

"Get in the car," Beca said.

"Bossy," Chloe chided as she climbed in.

Beca winked and got in the car, as well. She started it and pulled out then began to drive.

"Still no hints?" Chloe asked.

"No hints. It's a surprise."

"Is it dinner? Cause this morning you said not to dress too nice."

"Not dinner."

"It's not a movie, I know that."

Beca nodded, "No movie. Not a drive in either."

Chloe sighed, "Is it like an activity? Bowling, or like mini golf?"

Beca laughed, "I know you don't like either."

"We're not going to a bar, are we?" Chloe asked with clear worry.

"Not a bar. I know you don't like those."

"Is it-"

"Just trust me."

Chloe started to slowly bob her left knee and it sped up after a while. Beca noticed and she set her hand on Chloe's knee without letting her eyes off the road. Chloe looked at her and smiled, then set her hand on top of Beca's, turned it over and intertwined their hands. The knee shaking subsided.

"Are you sure you knew where we're going?" Chloe asked after a while.

Beca nodded, "I'm sure."

Chloe looked out the window and furrowed her brows, "Where are we?"

Beca pulled up to the mysterious building and smirked, "Just wait."

They got out of the car and Beca held on to Chloe's hand. They walked into the building and Chloe realized what it was.

"Beca, why are we at an animal shelter?" Chloe asked.

"This is part of our date," she stated.

They continued walking through and met with one of the workers who led them to the back.

"Our date?" Chloe smiled, "how?"

"Well," Beca began, "I wanted to do something really special. I figured going to dinner wasn't that special. And I know how you have always wanted a puppy."

Chloe's mouth hung and her face softened. They reached the back where a few puppies were and Chloe broke out into a beaming smile. The man left them and told them that when they're ready, to come out with the dog and they would get everything confirmed. There were three different types of puppies crawling around and wagging their little tales. Chloe sat down and they came running up to her.

"Beca," Chloe paused, "No, you can't just buy me a puppy," Chloe said.

"I can and I will."

Chloe smiled, "How did you plan all this?"

"Well, I called this place and they said they had a few new puppies. And I set up a time and date to see them."

"Beca, you didn't have to do this," Chloe said as she pet the animals. One in particular who made himself comfortable on her lap. As the other two started playing with each other.

Beca smirked and leaned down to pet them, "I know. I wanted to. And they have all their shots and everything. It depends on which breed you get, but they're all under one hundred."

Chloe smiled and continued to run her hands over the little puppy.

"And plus, a nice dinner would've costed just as much. We can go to dinner anytime."

Chloe grinned and turned her head to look at Beca, "This is so sweet of you. I can't believe you're actually getting me a puppy. I can't," she shook her head, "wow."

Beca smiled lovingly at her and then looked at the little puppy in her lap, "Seems like he picked you."

Chloe giggled, "He's adorable. I've always wanted a mini beagle."

"I had a feeling you would pick him. And don't worry about the living situation, I made sure any of these would work. Amy said it was okay, too."

"Okay, good. Cause I want this little guy."

Beca stood up, "So, this one?"

Chloe nodded and continued to pet him, "This one for sure." Chloe stood up with him in her arms and they walked out. They got everything settled and were able to take the puppy home with them. The pair got back into Beca's car and Chloe held the little dog in her lap.

"So, I read online that having an animal with you can ease stress. And I figured what a better way for you to ease stress than get you a puppy, plus I know how you've always wanted one."

Chloe smiled, "I can't believe you did this," she cooed as she continued to pet the dog.

"What do you want to name it?" Beca asked as she began to drive.

"Not sure. What do you think I should name it?"

Beca hummed, "Something really badass."

Chloe giggled, "No! He's too cute. Almost as cute as you."

Beca scoffed, "I am not cute."

"Sure. You are so cute. So cute, Becs."

"Nope. If anyone's cute here, it's you."

The dog barked after Beca said the comment.

Chloe giggled, "Looks like someone's jealous. You're cute too little guy," Chloe said gently as she pet him.

"Name him something original."

Chloe nodded, "How about Oscar?" After Oscar Wilde."

Beca scrunched her face up, "Who?"

Chloe scoffed, "He's a writer."

Beca looked to Chloe with a smirk and then back on the road, "Excuse me. How about Riley?"

Chloe shook her head, "Peanut?"

Beca nodded, "He looks like a peanut. But that's not badass."

Chloe giggled, "Peanut it is. It suits him."

"Whatever, Chlo. As long as you're happy."

Beca continued to drive with Chloe oozing happiness. The brunette hadn't seen Chloe this happy in quite a while. It made her gush and her heart flutter that she was the reason. Once they arrived back at Beca's they carried the puppy back into the apartment who immediately ran and jumped on the couch.

"Hey, you little shit," Beca chided playfully, "you don't live here."

Chloe giggled and sat down with him, "Don't listen to Beca, she's just grumpy," Chloe said to the puppy.

"I am not grumpy," Beca stated.

"Okay," Chloe said with giggles as the dog jumped around.

Beca sat down next to Chloe, "Anyway, I know this was kind of a bad date. It wasn't really a date... But I hope you had fun."

Chloe smiled and looked at Peanut, then back to Beca, "Of course I had fun. You got me a puppy for Gods sake!"

Beca smirked, "Well, are you hungry?"

Chloe bit her lip and nodded.

"I'll order some Chinese?"

"Sure, yeah," Chloe said softly as she placed her hand on Beca's thigh.

Beca looked down at it, then back up at Chloe. She tried to repress the smirk that was tugging at her lips, but when she saw Chloe bite her lip again, it came through, she leaned in and licked her lips. Chloe's lips parted and she lifted her chin slightly, letting Beca bite her lower lip. Chloe let out a breath and then pressed her lips softly on Beca's.

They heard the little dog bark and Chloe pulled back as she jumped slightly and laughed. Beca smirked and leaned back in. Chloe let her hand stay put on the brunettes thigh as they kissed. Beca placed her hands on Chloe's neck as she depended their kiss. The redhead opened her mouth, allowing Beca all the access she desired.

Chloe accidentally let out a small moan into Beca's mouth, making the brunette pull back.

"I'm just gonna order the, the food," she stammered and then walked into the kitchen.

Chloe nodded and tried to catch her breath. Peanut jumped back into Chloe's lap and started licking her hands.

"Oh, dude," Chloe playfully said, "no licking."

He settled in her lap as she kept petting him, and soon enough he actually fell asleep.

Beca walked back out afterwards and laughed as she saw Peanut, "He is actually pretty adorable."

Chloe giggled, "He is."

Beca sat down and leaned back into the couch, "It will be here in a half hour."

Chloe nodded and continued to run her fingers over the fur. "Becs?"

Beca turned her head as Chloe looked down, "Am I a bad kisser?"

Beca laughed and shook her head, "Definitely not."

Chloe nodded, and shifted slightly, "Why do you always stop? Like if things heat up?" She asked sheepishly.

Beca bobbed her head and looked down, "I just, I don't want things to get too out of hand."

"Oh," Chloe mumbled, "I wouldn't mind."

Beca looked up, "Oh." She said, _"Oh."_

Chloe laughed softly, "I was worried that I was a bad kisser."

"You're not, don't worry. I just don't want to push you into anything. And since this would be your first time with a girl, I don't want to scare you. I want it to be really special."

Chloe half smiled, "I thought that was part of it."

Beca nodded, "And we just started this. You know? I want you to be one hundred percent sure that you want that with me. And that you trust me, and know I absolutely love you."

Chloe looked down and kept her eyes on Peanut, "Do you want that with me? I want that with you."

Beca smiled, "Of course."

Chloe nodded and they sat in a comfortable silence, giving each other sweet, loving looks until the food came.

* * *

><p>After they ate Beca cleaned everything up and sat back down with Chloe.<p>

"Want me to take you home?"

"Can I stay the night? I have my medicine with me so it's not a problem."

Beca nodded, a little hesitantly. She was a little worried about sleeping in the same bed as Chloe now that everything's out in the open. She felt bad about it, but she knew she would have a hard time keeping her hands to herself. That's part of the reason she always stops kissing Chloe.

"Do you not want me to?" Chloe asked.

"I do!" Beca said, "I miss sleeping next you."

Chloe smiled, "You lose your badass points everyday. Buying me a puppy and now saying you miss sleeping next to me?"

Beca shrugged, "You bring out a side in me no one else can."

Chloe smiled and kissed Beca softly. Each time they kissed Beca still couldn't believe she was really kissing Chloe. Chloe, the girl she's loved her whole teenage and adult life. She knew it was something she would never get used to, but something she never wanted to end.

The brunette leaned them back and they continued to kiss passionately, soon enough it got hot, each girl could feel the heat in their bodies rise, and had a slight desire in their cores. Beca pulled back once the feeling rose and they each were out of breath.

"Don't stop," Chloe mumbled as she took a breath.

Beca let out a breath and leaned back in and kissed the redhead, making their lips move in sync. Their tongues ran across each others mouths, they battled, but Beca dominated in the end.

Beca ran her hand from Chloe's hip up her side gently, she stopped right at her ribs and did that a few times, when she felt Chloe reach for her hand and place it on her boob.

She stopped kissing her for a mere second, before realizing that Chloe wanted her to touch her. Chloe's hand was resting on top of hers. Beca kissed her as she gave it a soft, long squeeze and pulled apart to look for solace.

"Do it again," she whispered.

Beca locked their eyes and ran her hands up Chloe's clothed stomach slowly, then cupped her breasts, beginning to knead them as she kept eye contact. Chloe bit down on her lip.

Beca leaned down to Chloe's ear, "It's okay to let out a noise," she whispered.

Chloe gulped as she felt Beca kiss her jaw and place wet kisses down her neck, she got to the midst of Chloe's neck when she said, "Stop," frantically.

Beca pulled back quickly, and Chloe closed her eyes, "I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry. I'm not ready for this. I thought I was."

Beca smiled reassuringly, "That's okay."

Chloe covered her face, "No. I'm really sorry."

Beca got off of Chloe and kneeled down, propped herself up on her knees and kissed Chloe's cheek, "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about," she took Chloe's hands off her face, "Let's go to bed?"

Chloe agreed and they walked into Beca's room with little Peanut trotting behind them.

* * *

><p>Just as they were curled up with each other, with the peacefulness of the cool night air, the ease of little Peanuts cute snores, Chloe snuggled closer to Beca and kissed her neck.<p>

"I love you," Chloe whispered into Beca's collarbone.

Beca smiled and kissed Chloe's forehead, "I know," she whispered.

Chloe sleepily giggled, "Say it back," she said into Beca's neck.

"I love you, Chloe," she whispered.

"I love you, Beca," Chloe whispered back.

And then Beca felt a damp, almost wet spot. Soon enough she realized what it was. Peanut peed on her bed. With a sigh, she sat up, "You little shit."

* * *

><p>AN: So, I'm not too sure Beca buying Chloe a puppy was all the realistic... But, one time my aunt had been dating someone for quite a while (I know they haven't, but whatever) and he took her on a date to get a puppy and I just thought it was adorable, so I used it!

Thanks for the reviews, again.

**KissKendrick**: Thank you SO much for that. First of all, I'm sorry that my writing, or anyone else's writing causes you physical pain... But, I can't help be really excited that that actually happened hahaha anyway, seriously, thank you so much. I read that and I was like wow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 - I Promise**

"He peed all over my bed!" Beca said as she ripped the sheets off.

"I know, but you can't expect him to stay out in the living room all by himself! He's just a puppy," Chloe said, "he will be so scared all alone!"

Beca groaned and began to put different sheets on the mattress, as Chloe began to pout, "Please let him come back in here. Please, pleeeaaase."

"Chloe, that won't work," Beca firmly stated as she walked back out of her room with Chloe following, "Chloe. I'm serious. Stop it with the pouting."

Beca stood in front of Peanut who was sitting up in front of the door.

Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's waist and propped her head on the brunettes shoulder, "Look at him, Becs. You can't deny the little guy of sleeping with us."

Beca nodded and walked out of the embrace, "Yes, I can. He peed on my bed!"

Chloe picked him up and shoved him in Beca's face, "I'm sorry," Chloe imitated, "I won't do it again."

Beca pursed her lips, "Stop," she stated with an ever growing smirk. Beca walked passed Chloe and went to get an extra comforter to sleep with.

Chloe swiftly walked into Beca's room with Peanut in her hands. The brunette walked into her room and stopped at the doorway, she saw Chloe jutting her lip out as she sat in bed holding Peanut up, "Please let him stay."

Beca glared, "We are going to start training him tomorrow. If he pees in my bed one more time," Beca said.

Chloe nodded with a smile. Beca sighed and walked over to her bed, then threw the blanket over Chloe so it draped over her head and body.

"Hey!" Chloe said.

Beca crawled in and draped the blankets over her body, "Hey there," she said as she faced Chloe.

"You aren't angry anymore?" Chloe asked.

Chloe couldn't see, but Beca smiled, "I can't stay mad at you. I'm still pissed at the little shit, but you, never," Beca said as she pecked Chloe's lips.

Chloe hummed and then felt Peanut lick her face as he stepped on her face, "Agh! Peanut," Chloe groaned.

"We are definitely going to start training him tomorrow."

* * *

><p>The next day Chloe and Beca had made a point in beginning training.<p>

But Beca didn't seem to get the gist of it.

Chloe sighed, "Quit yelling at him. That's not going to help."

Beca picked him up and looked him in the eyes, "Why do you only listen to Chloe?"

Chloe smiled smugly, "Maybe because I'm nice to him."

Beca set him down and sighed, "I would be such a bad parent," she said with a laugh, "can't even get a dog to listen to me."

"Aw, no," Chloe cooed, she sat down on the couch next to Beca with Peanut in her lap, "you're just a little rough around the edges."

Beca smirked, then huffed, "So, how do we train him where to pee?"

"Did you want him to learn here?" Chloe asked.

Beca shrugged, "He could. I think he should. I mean, you are here a lot. And I don't think you would want to leave him alone while here."

Chloe smiled, "Okay. Well, do you want him to have to go outside or inside?"

"Outside."

Chloe nodded, "Then we have to take him all the way down stairs each time."

Beca slumped, "Fine. Inside."

"So, we just show him where to pee each time and soon enough he'll remember!"

"Is this what kids are like?"

Chloe shrugged, "Sorta. Except you don't really train them."

"Ah," she said, "Noted."

Chloe smiled and kissed Beca's cheek, "Well," she began, "let's try it."

They each stood up as Chloe set Peanut down. They got out a bunch of newspapers and magazines and set them down on top of each other to create layers. Chloe picked him up again and kissed his head, "Okay, you. You gotta pee on this," Chloe set him down on it.

Beca laughed, "Chlo, I don't think that's how-"

Chloe smirked as he began to pee, "I think that's how."

"Whatever," she mumbled, "We need to show him other things. Not just where to pee."

Chloe nodded, "He might not always pee on those. Sometimes he might just pee where ever until he gets the hang of it."

Beca groaned, "If he pees on me..."

Chloe giggled, "Let's hope that doesn't happen."

* * *

><p>Later that Saturday evening Chloe and Beca were sat on the couch cuddling. Chloe was curled into Beca's side as Peanut was sitting in her lap. She ran her fingers through his fur as Beca danced her fingers on Chloe's arm. Chloe wasn't paying too much to the conversation, even though there wasn't much of one. Both girls were kind of tired and zoned out as Chloe continued her loving stupor on Peanut. Suddenly, he stood up and plopped down on Beca's lap.<p>

"Aw, Becs. See he does like you!" Chloe cooed.

Beca shrugged, "We have our differences."

Chloe smiled at how Beca began to stoke his fur, but then frowned at Beca's sickened expression, "He's peeing on me."

"Oh, shit," Chloe picked Peanut up and walked over to the newspaper stack, then set him down, "You pee here. Not on Beca!"

"Chloe, he peed on me, putting him on that isn't gonna help my dog pee pants."

Chloe shook her head, "If I put him here and tell him it was bad, he might understand."

Beca groaned,"I knew this would happen. I think he hates me."

Chloe laughed as Beca began to pout, "Are you pouting?"

Beca pursed her lips, "Maybe."

Chloe kissed her, "Let's get you out of those pants. You smell like dog."

Chloe grabbed Beca's hands and sauntered in her Chloe like fashion, into Beca's room. Once in, Chloe gently closed the door.

She walked back over to Beca, "I'm sorry he peed on you."

Beca shrugged it off, "Nothing I can do about it."

Chloe nodded, then when Beca began to take her pants off, Chloe stopped her.

"Let me do it," she offered.

Beca nodded with a small smile. Chloe walked closer and set her hands on the pant button, unbuttoned them, then pulled the zipper down, all the while keeping her eyes locked with Beca's. After that, she pulled Beca's pants off.

Chloe gulped and continued to stare at Beca's legs, but tried not to stare too much at Beca's plain red underwear. How her legs are so tiny, but so sleek for her height. A tiny bit of her flat stomach was exposed, she could see the swell of her hips and how-

"Chlo?"

She snapped her head up, "Sorry," she mumbled.

Beca smirked, "It's okay," she said softly.

Chloe's lips parted as Beca continued to stand, "you should- uh," Chloe paused and gulped, "put some pants on."

Beca nodded, "Can we try something first?"

Chloe was silent, she opened her mouth and made a confused face.

"Can you take your pants off?"

Chloe furrowed her eyebrows and stepped back, "Why?"

"You don't have to," Beca reassured. "I just want you to feel comfortable around me, and I don't know, I thought this could help. We can each take our clothing off one at a time. We won't do anything and I won't make you do anything. I promise."

Chloe nodded and took a breath, but didn't do anything.

"Want me to do it?" Beca asked, "since you did it for me?"

Chloe nodded and looked to Beca. The brunette stepped in front of Chloe and smiled reassuringly. The way Beca's eyes looked so trusting and full of love made Chloe calmer. Since Chloe was wearing sweatpants, Beca began to untie the waistband, then stopped once it was done. Chloe nodded, letting Beca know the action was granted. She pulled Chloe's pants down slowly, once they pooled around her feet, she stepped out of them.

"You okay?" Beca asked gently.

Chloe smiled, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little self conscious if I'm being honest," she said.

Beca nodded, "If I take my shirt off, will you?"

Chloe looked down for a moment, then back up, "I don't know, I don't want you to be disappointed in me," she mumbled.

"Don't worry about me. This is about you. And I'm sure I won't be disappointed."

Chloe's face was tensed and her hands were in fists. She was definitely not comfortable with her body. She was scared that if she showed Beca herself, she would be disgusted, thought that she was ugly, anything that could go wrong, Chloe was afraid would happen. The brunette was so caring and understanding, she didn't even say anything when Chloe didn't reply. She simply waited as Chloe stared off into oblivion.

"Okay," Chloe said firmly.

"Are you sure? Because if you really don't want to, it's okay."

Chloe nodded, so Beca lifted her shirt over her head, exposing her stomach, chest and now, her whole body.

Chloe's mouth parted as she saw Beca had a matching red bra. It wasn't lacy or fancy, just a plain red bra to match her plain red underwear. She raked her eyes over the brunettes petite body as she admired it for a moment before gulping.

Chloe looked up and saw Beca warmly smiling at her. Being as patient as ever, with her calm facade and sweet smile that she knew was reserved for Chloe and Chloe only.

Chloe closed her eyes and began to lift her shirt, once it was off she kept her eyes closed and dropped her shirt that was now in the pool of clothing on the ground.

The red head couldn't see Beca admiring her body. She felt hands on her shoulders and then fingertips caper down her arms. She felt Beca's hand grasp hers and then intertwine their fingers together. She felt Beca raise their hands up, then when she felt Beca press kisses to the back of her hands, she opened her eyes.

Beca smiled at her, "You did good. It's one step at a time. And this was a pretty big step."

Chloe blushed at how close their bodies were and half smiled, "Thanks."

"Now, I have something planned for us," Beca said as she stepped out of Chloe's personal space and over to her closet.

"What?" She asked.

"Well, since last night wasn't really a date. I figured we should do something date worthy tonight," Beca said.

"What about work?"

Beca shrugged, "Perks of being the owner."

Chloe walked over to her and placed her hands on Beca's shoulders, the brunette turned around and was met with Chloe's lips on hers. It was soft and almost like a thank you. Beca pulled back and smiled, as if saying you're welcome. Beca placed a lingering kiss on Chloe's lips, which Chloe deepened as she wrapped her arms around the brunettes neck. Chloe slipped her tongue in and ran it over Beca's, she whimpered at the feeling of Chloe trying to take control. Before it could go too far, Beca pulled away.

"I hope you're not tired."

Chloe smiled and cocked her head to the side, "Why?"

Beca turned back around to Chloe, "I'm going to shower. Then you can shower. And I'll tell you where we're going."

Chloe nodded, "Okay," she said softly.

Beca pecked her lips and walked in to the bathroom, leaving Chloe with a lazy smile left upon her face.

* * *

><p>When they were just about to leave, Chloe started feeling sick. Beca noticed Chloe's weird facial expressions.<p>

"You okay?"

Chloe nodded, trying to brush off the sick feeling and picked Peanut up, "You think we should leave him?"

"We can't really bring him with us..."

"Is it okay to just leave him?" Chloe asked.

Beca shrugged, "I think so."

Chloe nodded as she set him down and kneeled in front of him, "Okay, you. You gotta be good. No peeing anywhere other than right here," Chloe said as she pointed to the newspapers.

"Okay, Chlo. Let's go. He will be fine."

Chloe stood up and closed her eyes momentarily as she felt her stomach churn.

"What's wrong?" Beca asked as she walked over to Chloe.

"Nothing," she said with a smile, "I'm okay."

"Chlo-"

"I'm okay." She stated.

Beca placed her hands on Chloe's shoulders, "Do you feel sick?"

"It will pass. It always does."

"You sure you want to go? We can just stay in."

Chloe nodded, "I don't want to let this ruin our second date," Chloe said with a smile.

"If you feel worse we can just come back here."

"Okay," she said.

They walked out the door and headed down to the elevator, and once they made it on the street, Beca intertwined their fingers and they began walking.

"What are we doing?" Chloe asked happily.

"Well, first we are going to get some doughnuts and coffee because I'm feeling kind of hungry."

Chloe smiled, "Okay. Then what?"

"We're going to spend the night out in the city, and then in the morning, like around five, I'm taking you to breakfast."

Chloe smiled and tightened her grip on Beca's hand, "What if I fall asleep?"

Beca shrugged, "Then you're left for dead," she said firmly.

Chloe's mouth parted and she giggled, "What the hell?"

Beca nodded, "I'm serious. If you fall asleep I can't carry you all the way back to our place."

Chloe smiled, "Our place?"

Beca tensed, "Yeah, I just meant- you know,"

Chloe kissed Beca's cheek, "I know."

Beca nodded and tightened her grip on Chloe's hand, "Anyway, you better not fall asleep on me, or you're going to wake up in some random place."

And then before Chloe could answer, she felt her stomach start to churn once again, she bit down on her lip and tensed her body as she hoped Beca didn't notice. Luckily, they had just got to their destination. They walked in, glad it wasn't too crowded.

"Do you wanna find us a table and I'll get the food?"

Chloe nodded and walked over to an empty table. Beca went off and ordered some doughnuts and two cups off coffee, as Chloe tried to repress the pain in her stomach. She didn't get why it was happening. Yeah, she gets it when she's nervous... But why was she nervous? There was nothing to be nervous about, and she knew it. Being nervous in public was something that just happens. She doesn't know why, she doesn't know what exactly causes it. If it's being out in the open, or if it's the fear of being exposed, but she can't get away from the dull ache that centers around her stomach.

"Chlo? Are you sure you're okay?"

Chloe snapped her head up, "Fine," she stated.

Beca nodded and sat down with their food, "I need to tell you something."

Chloe knitted her eyebrows, "What?"

Beca sipped her coffee, "I never told you," she said nonchalantly, "and I feel like I need to."

"Is it bad?" Chloe asked as she began to eat her doughnut.

"Nope," she said in between sips, "it's about you."

"Me?" Chloe asked, again.

Beca laughed as she continued to eat her doughnut, "It's nothing bad."

"Then tell me!"

"Eat your doughnut first young lady, and maybe just maybe, I'll tell you."

Chloe picked it up and began to eat it, she was afraid of the consequences of it on her stomach, but ate it all. Once she was done she sipped some more coffee and then said, "Tell me."

Beca smirked, "Later. Now, we are going on a walk."

Chloe pouted, "Please?"

Beca glared, "You are evil with that pout, you know that?"

"That's why I use it! Now, tell meee."

Beca shook her head and stood up, before finishing her coffee, "Nope."

Chloe jutted her lip out, "Becs, please."

Beca laughed, "You have powdered sugar on you lips."

Chloe wiped it of quickly, "Tell me!"

"C'mon, Chlo. I promise I'll tell you later," Beca stood up.

Chloe sighed and stood up, before picking her coffee up and lacing her fingers through Beca's, "Lead the way."

* * *

><p>The pair walked around the crowded streets hand in hand. Talking. Giving each other loving glances. Exchanging sweet smiles. They walked all around, even in the same place a few times. Time got away from them as they indulged in meaningless banter. It got to be three am all too soon. As the swell of the night came in time suddenly became apparent and it was like it was going by all too fast.<p>

"Were going on the roof," Beca stated.

"What?" Chloe said, "Your roof?"

Beca laughed, "No."

Chloe narrowed her eyes as they continued to walk, "Whose roof, Beca?"

"You're not tired... Right?" Beca asked with a smirk.

Chloe shrugged, "Depends."

"On what?"

"Whose roof are we going on?" Chloe asked firmly.

Beca stopped then in front of a building, "Do you trust me?"

Chloe nodded.

"Then, c'mon."

Beca walked into the mysterious building and seemed like she knew exactly where she was going. It was dark and had a certain smell to it. They made a sharp turn and Chloe yelped, "Beca, where the hell are we?"

"We are on the roof of Jesse and I's club," Beca said as she opened a door, that apparently led to the roof.

Beca stepped out of it and reached her hand out for Chloe who hesitantly took it.

"Holy shit, it's cold," she stated as the chill hit her body.

Beca nodded, "I know."

Beca walked over to the edge as Chloe stayed near the middle. The brunette leaned over and heard Chloe yell, "Beca, what the hell are you doing? What if you fell!?"

Beca backed away, "Chloe, it's okay. I'm not going to fall."

Chloe crossed her arms, "Can we go back down now?"

Beca walked back over to her, "Are you scared?"

Chloe shrugged and gripped her body, "No," she mumbled, "It's just cold."

Beca laced her fingers with Chloe's and smiled, "You're okay. Come here."

Chloe stepped forward and continued to look down.

"Does you're stomach still hurt?"

Chloe nodded, "It does."

Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist and brought her close. Chloe held on to Beca and let out a breath. The cool night air was starting to get to her. Her body started to feel tense and almost heavy, then her stomach began to burn. It felt like she was about to throw up.

"Oh my God," Chloe mumbled and backed away. She hung her body over her legs and started gagging. Beca walked over to her and set a caring hand on Chloe's back.

"Fuck," Chloe hissed. Then it came. The puke came through and it went all over the ground. And for a few minutes she couldn't get ahold of herself. After the vomiting subsiding she sat against the block railing, Beca sat next to her and set her hand on Chloe's knee, she ran her thumb over the dark jean material and looked up at Chloe.

"I'm sorry," Chloe whispered, "I don't know why that happened."

Beca nodded, "Are you okay?"

Chloe shook her head, "I don't even know. I feel bad. I just puked all over the roof of your building."

Beca shrugged, "It's not a big deal."

Chloe sighed and closed her eyes, Beca saw some tears fall and her heart nearly broke.

"Hey," she cooed as she wiped them, "it's okay. It's no big deal."

Chloe nodded, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

Chloe let out a breath, "What do you want from me?"

Beca's mouth parted. She looked up and saw Chloe looking down, she cupped Chloe's cheek and ran the pads of her thumb under her eye.

"I want you. Just you. Plain and simple. I want to be the warmth that fills your bed and I want you to be the warmth that fills mine. I want every single damn flaw you have. I want more than anything in this whole world to make you happy. Real, pure, one hundred percent happiness. I want you to question why you thought you were ever better off alone, because when I'm with you, I'm sure as hell always questioning why I thought that."

Chloe smiled as her tears began to flow, Beca kissed her tear stained cheeks.

"Want me to tell you now?"

Chloe nodded, "Yes. Even if it's bad."

"I think I'm falling in love with you all over again."

Chloe smiled, "What do you mean?"

Beca let out a breath, "I mean, I loved the old you. I loved the old you back then more than I could even explain. I loved how bubbly and perky you were. How excited you got about every single thing. It never annoyed me, even though I acted like it."

Chloe looked down, Beca lifted her chin as soon as she did, "And when you left, I never ever stopped. You're a completely different person now. You're still as loving as ever. You are still beautiful. You're smile lights up a room when you laugh or smile at me or Peanut. But, you're hurt. You're afraid. But, if I look past your fear, I can see the light in your eyes. I can see that bubbly personality. It's been poking though recently and I can't help but smile when the little moments happen, because I can see the real Chloe."

Chloe nodded, "You really do love me," she stated.

Beca smiled at her, "Yeah," she stated, "and I really am falling in love with you all over again. And honestly, I'm afraid."

Chloe nodded, "You have no idea how afraid I am. Every moment I spend with you I don't want it to end. I'm worried that something bad will happen and everything will hit the fan."

"If it does, then we will work through it," Beca said, "I'm not losing you again."

Chloe half smiled, "You really are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Beca smirked, "So are you. And I would kiss you... But..."

Chloe giggled, "Ah, yeah. It's okay."

"Want to go get that breakfast now?

Chloe nodded, "This was the best second date in the entire world. Even though it was only one day later than the first," Chloe said playfully.

They stood up, "Does that mean a third date is in store?" Beca asked smugly.

Chloe nodded, "I'm hoping the dates never end. I'm hoping we never end."

Beca smiled and once again linked their fingers as they made their way back down from the roof, "We won't. I promise you."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Don't hate me.

**Chapter 14 - Love Me Not**

Chloe awoke later that day to the feeling of drool on her face. For a moment she thought it was Beca, but then she felt a small weight on her chest, and remembered of Peanut.

The events of the early morning came running through her mind. She smiled sleepily as she remembered the breakfast they shared. How loving and absolutely perfect it was. She smiled wider at how when they came back home Peanut hadn't peed anywhere but where he was told, but then sighed as she remembered how once they came home he was so excited he went on the couch.

Chloe had realized Beca really, truly loved her. And she couldn't have been in a better state of happiness.

She opened her eyes fully and was met with an icy chill in the room as the dog kept licking her cheeks. She moved Peanut and rolled over, expecting to have Beca waiting for her, when she was met with nothing but an empty space. She sat up and set Peanut in her lap, she looked around as she was still in a sleep induced haze.

Chloe could hear faint voices from the other side of the door. Wondering who the voices belonged to, Chloe stood up as she held Peanut like a baby in her arms, she walked to the door and could barely make out what was being said. She could hear who she thought was Noelle questioning Beca. She could clearly make out Noelles words but not Beca's. She heard something along the lines of how it's pathetic what Beca's doing by dating her, that Chloe isn't worth it. Then she heard Noelle clearly laugh and say, "So, you agree she's a lot to handle!"

Nothing from Beca's side that she could hear. Chloe furrowed her eyebrows as she began to listen attentively,"You don't really love her, do you?" she heard, "How could you love her? She's a hassle."

Chloe continued to listen, "She's a whore. She got pregnant and left! What if she does it over again?"

Once the voices died down, Chloe opened the door slightly. The way the layout was luckily made it easy for her to see them. Chloe saw Beca, then she saw Noelle... And then she saw Noelles lips on Beca's. Then she could feel her stomach drop.

Chloe didn't know what to do. She just stood there with her mouth open and her stomach burning, holding her puppy. Her eyebrows furrowed at how Beca didn't seem to pull away for the longest time. It was like an eternity passed before the kiss was over. She shut the door and stood for a moment, contemplating what to do. Once she heard the front door close, Chloe walked out the bedroom door. She let Peanut down and he only stayed by her feet. She didn't know what to say, what to do. She hadn't garnered Beca's attention yet, so she cleared her throat.

"Hey!" Beca said as she turned.

Chloe fake smiled, "Hey."

"You hungry?" Beca asked.

Chloe narrowed her eyes at Beca, "A little," she said.

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna head to the store and buy some food."

"O-okay," Chloe said.

Beca nodded her head awkwardly, before walking over to Chloe and pecking her on the lips and making her way out the door.

"Well, fuck.." Chloe mumbled to herself, "What the hell just happened?"

After the incident Beca went to the store and she tried to clear her mind of the terrible words that were spoken and even worse kiss. Beca was oblivious that Chloe knew of the issue. She walked into her apartment and into the dead quiet kitchen. She began to unload her groceries, when she heard little foot steps. She turned around and saw Peanut looking blankly up at her.

"Hey, little shit. Gotcha some food," she said.

She earned little barks as she began to open the weird smelling dog food, then set it in a bowl as Peanut started to jump up on her, "Calm down," Beca said as she leaned down.

"Okay, I guess you don't like it," Beca said sarcastically as he went to town eating it.

Beca stood back up and began to walk into her room, she saw Chloe curled up in a little ball, with her head nestled into the pillow. Beca slid in behind her and kissed the nape of her neck, then slowly danced her fingers down Chloe's bare arm, but the girl shrugged it off. Assuming she was just kidding, Beca playfully huffed and kissed the the back of her neck again, when she didn't bulge, she wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist, "It's time to wake up," she gently said.

Chloe shrugged her off, "Stop," she stated.

Beca removed her arms and backed away.

Then it was silent.

An awkward, unwelcoming assortment of confusion on one end, and anger on the other.

"What's wrong?"

"You tell me."

"What?"

Chloe didn't answer this time.

"Chloe?"

"I don't want to talk right now."

Beca furrowed her eyebrows, "Did I do something?"

Chloe scoffed at her oblivion. She turned around and Beca could see her eyes were glossed over, her face had tear streaks and her cheeks were blotchy.

"What's going on? Why're you crying?" Beca cooed.

Chloe sat up and wiped her tears shortly after, she took a breath, "Look.. I'm sorry I'm a hassle. I'm sorry I'm a lot to deal with. I'm sorry I'm not worth it to you. I'm sorry you feel the need to lie to me. I'm sorry I'm too scared to have sex. I'm sorry I love you. I'm so, so sorry. And I'm especially sorry that you didn't say anything back to Noelle, because I never, ever, fucking asked you to help me. You wanted to. You wanted to be my best-friend."

Beca's face softened and her heart broke once she heard the words, "You heard?"

Chloe nodded, "I heard," she stated.

Beca tried to pull Chloe into her, but received a shove, "Don't touch me," Chloe muttered.

Beca's mouth parted at the coldness in Chloe's voice, "None of what she said or did was real."

"The kiss seemed pretty real," she mumbled.

Chloe could tell Beca was in turmoil. But, she was angry and Beca was nothing but confused. Those emotions don't work well together.

"It was so much, I didn't even know what was happening. I swear I didn't kiss her back. She just kept talking and talking and talking and then suddenly she kissed me."

"So, when you kissed her, I didn't hear you say anything else. What did you do?"

Beca closed her eyes momentarily, "I just told her to leave."

Chloe shook her head, "All the things you said last night, and all the things you've been saying, it was all a lie."

Beca let out a breath at the hurt in Chloe's voice, "No, everything I've said was true. She's just stupid jealous that I broke up with her."

Chloe didn't make any noise or movements, "Where's Peanut?"

"I fed him and he's probably just sitting out there, want me to get him?"

Chloe nodded. Beca got out of bed and walked into the living room and saw Peanut chewing on a pillow, "You really are a little shit," she said as she picked him up and walked back into her room. She set him on the foot of her bed and watched him trot over to Chloe. He sat right on her chest. Chloe started to pet him softly.

"I'm going to make some dinner before I go into work," Beca said, assuming the conversation was over.

Chloe nodded and curled up with Peanut beside her. Beca walked over to her, "I love you," she stated firmly.

Chloe averted her eyes from Beca's and half smiled. She said nothing in return.

Chloe had finally realized that Beca loved her. And now.. the realization was slowly slipping away one moment at a time as the words kept drilling into her brain.

* * *

><p>Beca walked into work with a scowl. Chloe was visibly upset after the incident. Her eyes were dull. Her smile wasn't there. Everything was falling apart. And of course it had to happen after such a perfect weekend.<p>

"What's gotten into you?" Jesse asked.

Beca shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it," she hissed.

Jesse nodded and they began their shifts. With Beca looking mad as ever, mixed with apparent sadness. She couldn't get her mind off Chloe, and how utterly hurt she was. Beca was confused, she was pretty angry at herself. She hoped everything was going to turn out fine, she had a feeling it would... But at the same time they way Chloe was being so unwelcoming to her, honestly scared her. After they were done and closed up the two of them walked into the back room and were met with Stacie.

"Hey, guys!" Stacie chirped.

Beca walked passed her with a frown, grabbing her coat. She sat down and put her head in her hands. Stacie looked to Jesse with a confused face.

Jesse shrugged and mouthed, 'No clue.'

"Beca, what's wrong?" Stacie asked.

"Nothing," Beca said.

Stacie sat next to her, "How did your date with Chloe go the other night?"

Beca looked up at them and huffed.

"Amazing. I took her to get a puppy Friday night, then we ate Chinese food, but her stomach started to hurt. Then last night we stayed out all night and walked around the city, we got doughnuts and coffee and went of the roof. She kinda puked, but it was still great. I took her to breakfast in the early morning. And," Beca started to tear up. She groaned and wiped her tears, she hated crying.

"Is everything okay? Is Chloe okay?" Stacie gently asked. Beca wasn't a crier, so something must of been really wrong.

"I don't know. Last night we had a talk while on the roof and I think she realized that I really do love her, but now it doesn't matter. None of this matters."

"Why doesn't it matter?" Jesse asked.

Beca huffed, "Noelle came over earlier and started yelling at me about Chloe. She said terrible things and Chloe heard all of them. She kissed me and Chloe saw," she stood up and wiped her tears again, "And now she won't look at me. She wouldn't kiss me, she won't let me even touch her. She didn't dare say I love you back. Ever since we've been saying it she's said it back. When we were eating she barely touched her food. And now I feel like everything is going downhill. I can see her going back inside her shell. All the progress she has made with herself is gone just because of those words and that stupid kiss," Beca groaned, "I fucking hate Noelle."

"Who doesn't?" Stacie muttered.

Beca sighed and then took a breath, "What if she doesn't want to be with me anymore?"

The two of them had never seen the brunette so vulnerable before. And Beca was surprised she was even letting it show. Neither of them said anything. Beca stood and started to pace.

"I mean, I can't lose her again. Not after all this. I can't just let her slip away. I can't do it. I can't."

"Beca, this isn't what you want to hear, but if she decides she doesn't want to.. there's nothing you can do," Stacie said.

"Stacie, you don't get it. After saying I love you and, and kissing her like I've kissed her. Holding her like I've been. I can't not do that. I'll wait until she feels comfortable again. It's just the wrong time right now. I promised her I wouldn't let this slip through and I'm not."

Jesse and Stacie looked to one another as the brunette continued to pace, "Beca, maybe it's the wrong time, but you've been here a long time. You've been in this position of waiting for Chloe for so long, maybe it's time to just let her go? Just because you love her doesn't mean it's meant to be," Jesse said.

"You're so damn quotable." Stacie muttered.

Jesse shrugged as Beca shook her head, "No. I can't believe I'm saying this, but she's the one. You know? I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Go fix this, then." Stacie said.

"Yeah, don't let her believe whatever Noelle said. Make her sure that the kiss meant zero to you. Make sure she knows you love her. Do what you've been doing."

This seemed like an easy fix, right? Do what she's been doing. She figured it wouldn't be that hard. She was already saying, I love you. Even if Chloe didn't reply, saying it would help, right? She wasn't even considering all the things Chloe's had to put up with, all the hurt and all the shame she's gone through. Beca wasn't acknowledging the fact the Chloe _is_ clinically depressed. And saying I love you over and over again, apologizing for hurting her, that isn't going to make her believe it. Chloe had to do that on her own. She had to really understand the words, not just hear them. Beca hadn't thought about Chloe's PTSD and how loud noises affected her, or how she's afraid of smoke. Those thoughts left her mind. She was sure as hell thinking about Chloe, but not _really_ about Chloe.

* * *

><p>Beca walked into her apartment and smiled when she saw Chloe sitting on the couch watching TV. She was glad Chloe was up. A part of her worried that Chloe would leave.<p>

Beca took a breath and tried to sound as happy as possible, "Hey, you," she said as she set her bag down, "I'm surprised you're awake. It's so late."

Chloe turned around and half smiled, but it was obviously fake. Beca walked over and sat next to Chloe.

"Where's Peanut?" She asked.

Chloe pointed to Beca's room.

Beca laughed, "He better not pee."

Chloe nodded and went back to watching whatever show was on at this time of the morning. They sat in a silence that neither one enjoyed for a few minutes. They were at a distance and Beca wanted nothing more than to be holding Chloe right now. She wanted nothing more to reach out and engulf Chloe with her love and apologize over and over again for what happened. But, Chloe was mad and Beca was oblivious and Chloe was quietly crying on the inside and Beca was loudly observing her.

Chloe started to play with her fingers, Beca noticed that she was picking at the skin and she began to take extra notice. Chloe had a few pieces of dry skin hanging off her cuticles. She was twisting them and then she would pull it off, each time bitting down on her lip when the skin ripped off. Beca assumed the girl didn't really know what she was doing. It was probably one of her nervous habits.

She set her hand on the red heads, but she pulled it away. Beca mentally slumped. If such a simple gesture made Chloe shrug off Beca, she knew this was more than just a small issue.

"Chloe, I think we need to talk about what happened," Beca offered.

Chloe shook her head.

"But you're clearly upset," Beca began.

Chloe shrugged, not letting her eyes leave the TV.

"Do you feel all right?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded.

"Your stomach okay?"

She nodded again. They sat in silence for a few more moments until Beca couldn't take it anymore, "Chloe, please talk to me."

Chloe continued to stare at the TV, not letting her gaze falter. Beca felt helpless. All the ideas racing through her mind didn't seem right. Everything seemed like a lost cause.

"Just say something," Beca begged.

Chloe was still silent. They sat for a while in the quiet room that was only lit up by the TV. Beca continued to think of how to fix this. She thought about just launching into an improved ten page apology. Starting from why she's sorry, ending with it was an accident.

Basically what's she's been saying.

Chloe looked down at the coffee table and she took a deep breath, garnering Beca's attention, "If I look at you, I can't help but see you kissing her," Chloe began quietly, "I can't get her words out of my head. She called me a whore and you didn't say a damn thing. I'm not a whore," she hissed.

Beca sat, staring at Chloe. She really didn't know what else to say other than, "I'm sorry," once Chloe began speaking everything Beca thought of saying, washed away. Her mind went blank at the pure pain and anguish in Chloe's words.

"When she said all of that stuff... You agreed. I heard her say it. I heard everything, Beca," Chloe said quietly.

"It wasn't like that. I didn't say anything because I didn't agree," Beca stated.

Chloe shook her head, "I didn't ever think you would hurt me," she said shakily.

Beca shifted, kneeling in front of Chloe, she tried to access the red heads hands but she crossed her arms. Beca closed her eyes momentarily, "It was not on purpose. I have no intentions of ever hurting you."

Chloe pursed her lips, "God, I can't stop picturing you kissing her," she said as she covered her face, "I saw you as someone who could never, ever hurt me. Even if it was an accident."

Beca sighed, "It's not like I tried to do this."

"It still happened. Just because it wasn't on purpose doesn't make it okay."

"That's not what I mean, Chloe." Beca stated.

Chloe took a breath and continued to look down, narrowing her eyes.

Beca laughed dryly and Chloe narrowed her eyes, "How's this funny?"

Beca stood up, "It's funny because last night was amazing. The night before was amazing. You were so happy and you were worried something would ruin us. And we agreed we would work through it if something did happen," Beca answered as she slowly paced.

Chloe looked up at Beca, she had an unreadable expression.

Beca sat back down. "Shit happens. And there's nothing I can do about that. You just have to trust me when I say that that was a complete accident. None of the words she said were true. The kiss meant absolutely nothing."

Chloe looked down away from Beca.

Beca grabbed Chloe's hand in hers, thankfully, she didn't pull away. All the words Beca wanted to say just kept coming out as she saw Chloe stay silent, "Telling you I loved you was my single best decision out many awful ones, and I can't imagine not having you by my side every day for the rest of my life just because I messed up and didn't stop her. But just know, I'm absolutely crazy about you. I love you so fucking much, please forgive me. Please understand that it was all a freak accident," Beca sat and scooted closer to Chloe, she took a leap of faith and kissed her temple, "When bad things happen you can't run away, or ignore me. I know all about that and it does nothing but make things worse. You can't shut me out."

Chloe shook her head throughout the words Beca spewed out, "I can't. I can't do this. I can't do this," she motioned between them, "I'm sorry, I can't. I don't even know if you're lying or if this is the truth," she took a breath, "I feel so stupid. I just feel completely useless. I can't explain why I'm so pissed off, but I am. And we, we can't do this. I'm- I can't, Beca."

Beca was unbelievably unsure if Chloe was serious, or if she was acting on an enraged emotion. Beca wasn't sure if this relationship was really over, or it it would all be fixed by tomorrow. They would wake up in each other's arms, their breathing mixed, their heart beats in a steadyin time. Everything would be okay. But right now, it was like a bad dream that was realistic. No ghosts, or haunted houses. No scary things happening. No, this dream was real life. And it was just as scary.

Beca reached out for Chloe, hoping maybe of they just laid together , took in each others warmth and could cuddle it would help, but Chloe stopped her, "I uh," she looked down, "I don't," she paused and set her hands on her lap, "Beca, I can't. I'm sorry."

"I get it," she said with a fake smile.

Chloe nodded, "Whatever this was, I'm so sorry, but it's," she closed her eyes, "it's over. Its, just, I'm sorry. Okay?"

Beca gulped and pursed her lips. Everything came crashing down in a matter of seconds, "Okay."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 - Hurricane**

The light cracked through Beca's small, yet comfortable apartment. She began to stir once the whole room was illuminated. She arched her back and stretched out, only to realize Chloe was gone.

And then it started to hit Beca that Chloe wasn't there anymore and she didn't know if she was coming back. It was like déjà vu.

The brunette sat up and set her head in her hands, she sighed and looked around, only to see it was ten am on a Monday. Her eyes met the small, brown coffee table. She scanned it for an unknown reason before realizing there was a folded piece of binder paper. She picked it up hesitantly and unfolded it, her eyes widened when she saw the length of this said note.

_'Hey, you. So, just hear me out, okay? I said you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I meant it, and I know that you meant it, too. And you said you promised we would never end, and we won't. I know I said that we're over, and I made a stupid, irrational decision. I really need some time to think about all that's happened and all the mistakes I've made. Aubrey picked me up, and she's going to be picking me up and dropping me off after work from now on. I think it's best if we just try to take some time away from one another. I really need to get my self under control before I see you again, because believe me, I know how badly I over reacted. You're sleeping right next to me as I'm sitting up trying my hardest to not sound like an asshole while I write this. You look so distressed and your face is tense. You are so damn beautiful in every single way possible and I can't take the fact that you're distressed because of me. In my heart I know you love me, I know that everything you've said is true. I know that the kiss meant nothing and I know your words meant everything. I don't want to be one of those people who blame their depression or anxiety, or whatever they may have on their actions, but I'm sorry, because that's what happened. I got upset, and I made a bad call. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. And you were so sweet to let me stay even after I basically broke everything off. I need help and I need time. Please, just give me that. I know I'm asking for a lot, and I know you've been so patient and understanding with me, but I need to get help. I'm going to see about therapy, and whatever else may help me because I'm done with myself, and I'm done with hurting you. Because even though I said you hurt me, I'm the one who has been hurting you for the longest time. When I'm ready, I'll contact you. I love you, and I'll see you another day, another time when I'm still not so fucked up.'_

Beca stared at the words, over and over. Becoming hyper aware of the paper she folded the sides; bringing them in and then out. She read the words and could feel how embarrassed Chloe was. How distraught she felt. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you need professional help. Her eyes prickled with small tears as she read the last line until her vision became blurry.

Beca analyzed the last sentence. _'I__ love you, and I'll see you when I'm not still so fucked up.'_ She sat and sat reading the note over until she couldn't take it anymore. She eventually set the piece of paper down. Beca had this gut feeling that she shouldn't let Chloe go through all her problems by herself. For a moment, yeah, she thought she was being a complete idiot for letting go of just how terrible Chloe was acting yesterday. Because, really? Chloe was being stupid, but Beca was being just as stupid. Then she took in the problems. And the seriousness in Chloe's illnesses, and figured that she does have a problem, and just because she's a hurricane waiting happen, doesn't mean Beca can't face it head on.

* * *

><p>Two days go by with no word from Chloe. Beca figured that this is the needing time coming into play. Instead of hounding her, she hounded Aubrey. Beca called the blonde to ask all about Chloe. She asked Aubrey to look out for her. She explained everything that happened, assuming Chloe didn't. Which she was right.<p>

Aubrey made sure Chloe took her medicine, she made sure she ate breakfast and lunch during her break. The blonde made sure that Chloe got to work on time and that she was dressed appropriately. And you may think it's crazy that she is going through so much trouble for Chloe since they have only known each other for such a short amount of time, but Aubrey knew how important Chloe was to Beca. And Aubrey was well aware what mental illness can do to not only you, but the people around you.

Her Father was depressed. Her Mother did everything in her being to help fix him. Eventually it got so bad that he committed suicide when Aubrey was around sixteen. It was the worst thing that had ever happened in her life. It took her a very long, long time to get over the death.

And Aubrey would be dammed if she let one of her best friends go through what she had.

* * *

><p>Then two more days pass with Beca getting every single detail of Chloe from Aubrey. From how she was doing, to if she ate, down to if she's taking her medicine. Beca asked if there was any mention of therapy of the sorts. Aubrey just said no, and that she hasn't mentioned it.<p>

Two more days pass by with Beca doing the same old routine of making sure Chloe's taken care of through Aubrey. Nothing changed much in the past six days. She has a rough time with sleep, she gets maybe three to five a night. She goes into work and then out of work. It's like she's back into her old pattern. But this time, it's scary how gloomy everything is. And Beca wondered if that's actually how life was before Chloe came back. Now, it is strange, because even though Chloe is quiet and kept to herself, she lights up Beca's world. It's something Beca can't quiet wrap her head around, but it's something she doesn't want to because then maybe if she gets it, it won't be special anymore.

And then suddenly as Beca was lying in bed after working for nine hours, because of a cut back in staff, a week since she's seen or heard from Chloe; her phone started to ring, breaking her from her deep thoughts. She rummaged for it, seeing it was Chloe. She smiled nervously and took a breath, then picked it up and softly said, "Hey, Chloe."

"Beca."

Beca became stiff as a board when she heard the way Chloe said her name. It was almost as if she was scared to even utter the word. And the nervousness laced through her name made her sigh audibly.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I think I'm having a panic attack."

Beca nodded, then realized Chloe couldn't see.

"Take deep breaths, okay? Sit or lay down somewhere comfortable. Continue to take those deep breaths and close your eyes."

Beca didn't hear any response from Chloe, so after a moment she said, "Is it working?"

"I-I don't know."

"How do you feel?"

"Sick."

"Chloe, why do you think this is happening?"

"I don't know. I'm all alone right now, besides Peanut. And I'm scared because my head hurts, and my heart is beating so fast, plus my stomach is really hurting."

"You'll be okay," Beca began, "Just try to relax and calm yourself. Everything will be okay."

* * *

><p>Beca wondered about that night for the next two days. Chloe had never explained anything else to her, after Beca told her everything would be okay, Chloe hung up. Being understandably worried, she called back, but received no answer. Only a simple text that read, <em>'Thank you.'<em> That she replied with, _'No problem.'_

The simplest form of communication became what Beca longed for each day.

Then two more days passed with the same routine. Except today, Beca got a text from Noelle.

_'Want to hang out today?'_

Beca scoffed, loudly. It was more of an over exaggerated 'ha', but really? She couldn't help it. Noelle hadn't gotten in contact with her since that doomed day. And Beca hadn't really considered calling her out, because she doesn't know _how_, but this was the perfect opportunity.

Beca walked up to Noelles apartment door and knocked firmly. The door soon opened, revealing Noelle who was wearing a big smile, that Beca could only laugh dryly at.

"You want to come in?"

"No," Beca stated, "all I'm here to do is.. in a twisted way, say thank you."

Noelle laughed, "What?"

"Chloe was there when you came over, and she saw you kiss me. And yes, I never made it clear, but we were dating. Now, I'm not sure what we are, if anything, but I want to say thank you for making her realize that she is sick and that she needs serious help. And, I would like to do something. Could you, uh.." Beca smirked, "Stay still, okay?"

Before Noelle could even comprehend what the hell was happening, Beca had slapped her across the face, and was already walking down the hall with a certain sway to her body.

* * *

><p>After her pleasing encounter with Noelle, Beca decided to take a very large and extremely scary leap of faith. She's not sure how she got to the outside of Chloe's apartment, but she's there. Standing. Thinking. Beca knew Chloe made it clear that she would contact her when she was ready, but she was here now and figured she better do something soon or she might look like some crazy stalker just standing outside someone's apartment.<p>

Beca raised her hand and knocked once. She thought about twice, maybe three times, but for some reason she only knocked once. The door opened and Chloe's eyes went wide, "Hey," she said as she crossed her arms.

"Hey," Beca said, "We need to talk."

Chloe nodded, "Yeah, yeah, come in."

Beca walked through the door and was bombarded by Peanut, going on his little hind legs momentarily as he yelped. Beca only laughed as she picked him up, "Maybe the little shit doesn't hate me?"

Chloe went and sat on the couch, "Shouldn't you be at work? It's six-thirty."

Beca shook her head as she walked over with Peanut in her arms and sat down at a respectable distance, "I take Wednesdays off."

"Oh, yeah.. did you read my note?

"I did. I wasn't sure what you meant by needing time, or if you're serious about us. You made it clear that we were over, and then it the note you said we weren't. And it's been a week and I'm worried about you."

Chloe looked down, "I don't know.. everything got so complicated and if we continue this you'll be so weighed down with me, and-"

"I'm willing to do whatever."

Chloe huffed, "I can't ask you to give up your life to take care of mine."

Beca jutted her lips to the side in response, "Well, I don't.. I don't want to lose you."

Chloe nodded, "I don't want to lose you either. And maybe later we can try again. I can get better and it will all work out. I don't know how long it will take. But, I've scheduled to go into trauma therapy. I didn't realize it was that bad until I got tested again. But uh," Chloe took a breath and narrowed her eyes, "apparently I'm worse off than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

Chloe shifted and set her hands on her lap, "I went to the doctor the other day. And this morning I got a call. My," she gulped, "my doctor said I don't have Normal Stress Response of PTSD. Which is what I thought I had, since it's literally spot on. When I first got diagnosed I read all about it, and it made sense. And now I'm learning that's not even what I have. So, I, I don't know. I don't know if that's better or worse that I have Acute Stress Disorder."

"Tell me about it."

Chloe looked up, "What?"

Beca nodded and shifted so she was sitting cross legged on the couch with Peanut chilling on her lap, "I wanna know."

"Uh," she shrugged, "It's basically characterized into six different categories. And I fit into four of them."

"What are they?"

Chloe took a breath, "Basically it's, panic reactions, mental confusion, dissociation, severe insomnia, suspiciousness in people, really it's not trusting anyone and being unable to do daily things. My doctor said a lot of the time people can't handle relationships with people because when something goes wrong, they dissociate themselves from the situation because, well that's apparently the only way the know how to cope."

Beca nodded, "Which ones do you have?"

"Panic reactions, which are the panic attacks that I get when I'm alone, or if I smell smoke. Mental confusion, which in my case has to do with not remembering where am I. But that's not really happened to me, yet. Only in the mornings, sometimes. Dissociation. I don't like being away from people who make me feel comfortable. Like you, I guess. I hate being away from you. And I don't like being around people I don't know. Then there's the not trusting in people, which I'm pretty sure is coming into play with all the Noelle garbage."

"Well, it does make sense. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it does seem like that's pretty spot on."

Chloe nodded, "It does. I know it does."

"When do you go to the therapy?"

"Mondays at two-thirty until four-thirty."

Beca nodded, "I could take you."

Chloe shook her head, "No, you have better things to do."

"Not really."

"Yes, really. Beca, I'm not asking you to-"

"I'm not giving up my life, but I want to help you. Even if we aren't going to be together, I want to help you."

Chloe nodded hesitantly, "When I said that we were over last week, I uh, I really didn't mean it," she began, "I just don't want you to have to worry about me and my feelings."

"I know you think you're a lot to handle, and when she said that, it made you feel bad. But, everything I've said to you is the complete and honest truth," Beca said, "I don't want you to be alone because of this. You have these problems for a reason. And I want to be by your side as you go through this recovery. I want to, Chloe. I don't have to, I know. But, I want to."

Chloe let out a breath, "I'm really scared."

"Of what?"

"Everything. I'm scared that I'll wake up one day and forget where I am. I'm scared that all those things have been happening and I never knew why. And now I know that, it just makes me feel even crazier."

Beca chortled, "You aren't crazy. Just different."

"I feel crazy," she said with a small laugh.

Beca thought for a moment, "Do you trust me?"

"I do now," Chloe looked down, "Can you stay with me tonight?"

Beca half smiled, "Yeah," she said softly.

* * *

><p>Unsettling is one way to explain it. Beca stayed due to Chloe's wish, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't belong there. They sat after their little conversation for quite a while in a deafening silence.<p>

"Are you okay?" Beca asked, suddenly.

"I am," Chloe answered.

"You're just being so quite," Beca said, "like.. even more than before."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Beca stated, "I know what we can do to fix this awkwardness."

"What?"

"Do you still feel comfortable around me?"

Chloe nodded.

"Let's cuddle. That's always fun."

Chloe laughed softly, "Uh, okay."

Beca shifted her body so her back was rested against the armrest and her legs were out in front of her, "C'mon," she said as she made a come here hand motion.

Chloe half smiled as she laid down next to her and rested her head in Beca's neck, "I missed you."

Beca ran her fingers down Chloe's arm, "I missed you, too. And I'm glad we're okay," Beca whispered.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Beca woke up to the sound and feel of Chloe tightening her fingers around Beca's arm. She was whimpering and her eyebrows were knitted together. Beca knew better than waking people up from a bad dream. So, she continued to let Chloe grab on to her even thought it was painful. Chloe's whimpers began to die down and Beca continued to try and sooth the girl by running her fingertips of her bare arm.<p>

Chloe's eyes fluttered open and she looked as if she was going to burst into tears any moment. She blinked a few times as her breathing visibly sped up. When she looked up at Beca who was staring down at her, she smiled, "You're here," Chloe said, almost like it was a relief.

"Yeah," she said gently, "Are you okay?"

Chloe nodded, "I'm okay. What time is it?"

Beca looked around, it was still pretty dark, so she assumed it wasn't morning yet, "I'm not sure, but go back to sleep, okay? You don't have to get up for a few hours."

"You're going to stay, right?" Chloe asked. Her eyes looked worried, and her grip on Beca's arm tightened.

"Yeah," Beca said, "don't worry."

Chloe laid her head back down, and Beca settled her arm around her waist, Chloe scooted closer, her body becoming pressed to Beca's. And then Beca became hyper aware that Chloe had never held on to her this tightly, and she was honestly confused. The red head was holding on to Beca as if she was going to leave her at any moment, and the thing that stuck out to Beca, was that Chloe was the one wanted time away from her, she was the one who left that morning, not her.

* * *

><p>AN: I promise everything will only get better from here on out!


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 - Crazy**

Beca couldn't fall back asleep after Chloe had awoken her. Her thoughts overpowered the possibility. It was worrying to her that Chloe seemed so scared she would leave. She had never been like that before and it confused her to no end. In one week and a few days she had changed strikingly. It was humorless that such a draw back was made. She laid in the same position on the couch with Chloe huddled into her as if it were life or death.

Once the light shown through and it became apparent it was morning, she figured she might as well wake Chloe. The red head still had her face buried deep into Beca's neck, as her arms were folded into herself. Beca began to run her fingers up and down the red heads arm, and she shifted so she could prop Chloe up.

"Chloe," Beca gently said.

Beca let out a breathy laugh as Chloe's eye barely opened then closed again.

"You gotta wake up."

Chloe huffed quietly and opened her eyes fully, she then squinted and sat up as she looked at Beca who was still propped up against the arm rest.

"Can I just sleep for a little while longer?" Chloe hoarsely asked.

"Unless you want to be late, I wouldn't try it," Beca said.

Chloe's eyes kept fluttering open and closed as she was slumped over.

"Why are you so tired?"

Chloe shrugged and yawned as she stood up and began to walk into her room. Beca stayed put, lightly tapping her fingers on her knee to pass the time. After about ten minutes she decided she would check on Chloe cause she hadn't heard anything. The apartment was not necessarily big, so most noises could be gathered. Beca stood up and walked into Chloe's room and started laughing as she saw her with some dark wash jeans on as a white button up draped over her shoulders while she was laying face down on her bed.

Beca turned the girl over and realized he blouse wasn't buttoned, she stared for a minute at Chloe's bra clad chest, before realizing she was asleep. Beca snapped out of the gaze before buttoning the blouse and sitting Chloe up.

"Chloe," Beca began calmly, "you need to get ready."

Chloe opened her eyes and sighed, "I know," she stood and began walking out the door with Beca in tow.

* * *

><p>"Chloe, the coffee is ready. And I fed Peanut," Beca said from the kitchen, but got no response. She washed her hands and began to walk out before drying them off.<p>

Beca saw her laying down on the couch. She walked over with a sigh and tapped her, "You're going to be late," Beca said gently.

Chloe smacked her mouth together a few times before sitting up and opening her eyes, "I'm tired."

"Why are you so tired?"

Chloe shrugged as her eyes drooped, "I'm taking this new medication, since I apparently needed another upgrade, and I think the side affects may be drowsiness, and ughnf, Beca please, can I just stay home?" she slurred.

"I don't think so. Aubrey will be here soon, right? It's seven-thirty."

Chloe nodded and laid back down, "She'll be here any minute."

"You can't go back to sleep," Beca said as she sat down next to her, trying to prop her up.

"Too late," Chloe mumbled.

Just then there was a knock at the door. Beca looked down at Chloe as she stood up and sighed at the red heads closed eyes. She walked over, opened the door, revealing a surprised Aubrey.

"Wha- Beca?"

Beca laughed softly, "Hey, Chloe is really tired this morning and-"

Aubrey shook her head, halting Beca's words, "Why are you here? Are you guys okay now? Are you back together?" Aubrey whispered.

"We're okay. We aren't together, but I'm here because I came over yesterday to talk to her and she didn't want me to go."

Aubrey nodded, "Is she okay?"

Beca turned her head seeing the red head still laying down, "I think so, just tired."

Beca let Aubrey in and they both walked over to the couch. Chloe cracked one eye open as she could tell the two girls were hovering over her, "Hey, guys."

They each let out a version of a chuckle before looking at each other, "Up and at 'em, Chloe," Aubrey stated.

Chloe sat up, running a hand through her messy hair and sighed, "Let me just get some coffee and I'll be right down, Aubrey."

The blonde nodded, then looked at Beca as Chloe began walking into the kitchen.

"I'll be in my car," Aubrey stated, before waking out.

"Ow!" Beca heard, "Shit."

The brunette hurried to the kitchen and saw Chloe wiping up some spilled coffee that was on the ground, she was bent over and Beca could barely help keeping her eyes off Chloe. She thought it was acceptable to look at her, but at the same time she didn't. Confused was an understatement.

"Did you spill coffee?"

"Yeah," once the red head stood up, Beca made sure her predatory gaze was gone and replaced with a caring one.

"Beca," Chloe commerced quietly as she washed her hands, "I was wondering if you could stay at work with me?"

Beca furrowed her eyebrows. She took in the question for a moment before questioning why Chloe would need her at work. She had Aubrey there for her and it's apparent that Chloe does like Aubrey. But, maybe she isn't as comfortable around Aubrey as Beca. Nonetheless, why is Chloe only now asking this? She's been working there for two weeks now and has not once asked this favor of Beca.

"Why?"

Chloe turned around as she picked up her mug, "I don't know, uh, I was just wondering," she said softly.

"I mean, I guess I could? But you'll be working and I would just be sitting there. And I don't see why you need me?"

Chloe nodded, "Yeah, sorry, that was a dumb question," she said as she began walking with Beca not too far behind.

"No," Beca stated calmly, "It's okay. Let's get you downstairs so you and Aubrey aren't late."

The two made their way out of the building down to Aubrey's car. Once Chloe was settled and Aubrey began to drive, Beca watched for a moment, as the car got smaller and smaller down the busy road, hoping that Chloe would do okay.

Beca assumed the red head would, but couldn't shake the feeling that Chloe asked Beca to come with her for a reason. Maybe it was just simply because she wanted Beca's company after being apart for a week. Or maybe it was because of the attachment issues.. but then again, Chloe wasn't like that before, right? So, why after just one week would that change? After reassessing all the possibilities and once the car was fully out of sight she decided to go back up to Chloe's apartment to make sure Peanut was taken care of, before heading back home herself.

* * *

><p>Later that day just as Beca was walking into the club, with Jesse not too far behind, she saw Aubrey's car pull up, with Chloe seated in the front seat beside her. She continued to unlock the building and once the car was parked, she walked over to Chloe's side as Aubrey got out and walked over to Jesse.<p>

"Hey, why're you here?" Beca asked.

"I didn't want to be home alone," Chloe said.

"Oh, uh, I don't know if this is the best place for you to hang around," Beca said.

Chloe looked down, "Yeah, but I didn't want to be alone."

"I don't know if you'll feel comfortable here. And I can't take the night off tonight since I just had yesterday off."

Chloe looked to Aubrey and saw her talking to Jesse with a smile etched on each others faces. She looked back to Beca, "I don't want to go home."

Beca nodded, "O-okay, well, I don't think you should stay," she said calmly.

Chloe let out a breath, "I really don't want to be alone."

Beca closed her eyes momentarily, she was trying so hard not to just say yes. But, she knew for a fact that Chloe needed to be at this club like she needed a hole in her head.

"I can't stay with you the whole time, unless you want to follow me around while I work. And-"

"That's fine," Chloe stated.

"No, Chloe, that's not fine. You'll be perfectly okay at your apartment, I promise."

Chloe opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it.

Beca set her hand on Chloe's knee, "You're going to be just fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Chloe looked down and half smiled as Beca ran her thumb over the material, "Will you come over after?"

"I probably wouldn't be able to until really late."

"That's okay. I'll wait up for you."

Beca let out a breath, "Chlo, it might be ten, maybe twelve, even three in the morning. I don't know."

Chloe nodded, "Just promise you'll text me and let me know after you're done? Even if it's late."

Beca thought for a moment. She was certainly confused why Chloe was so adamant about this, "Yeah, I promise."

* * *

><p>Hours later after Aubrey took Chloe home it was around midnight when Beca decided she would take a break. She was sitting in the back room, leaning against the wall and she decided to check up on Chloe.<p>

_'How are you doing?'_

Beca put her phone back in her pocket, and not even a second later she felt the vibrations.

_'Chloe: Tired.'_

_'Beca: Sleep, Chlo.'_

_'Chloe: Not without you.'_

Beca felt her lips curve into a crooked smile as she read the three simple words. It was sweet of course, but at the same time, she didn't want Chloe waiting up for her.

_'Beca: Go to sleep. I promise I'll be there. Be thankful Amy keeps a key hidden.'_

_'Chloe: Okay. I love you.'_

Beca let out a breath and bit her lip, suddenly unsure of the use of the cliche phrase, she eventually replied, _'I love you too.'_

* * *

><p>As Beca promised, after work she headed to Chloe's. It was around four in the morning when she finally got there. She stumbled trying to find the extra key. Once she opened the door and was met with the chilly room and slightly illuminated walls, she closed the door quietly behind her and walked to Chloe's room.<p>

Beca saw Peanut chilling at the foot of Chloe's bed and he raised his small head when he noticed her. She set her bag down by the door and took her coat off. Beca didn't want to sneak up on Chloe and scare her, so she kind of stood for a moment, contemplating what to do. She should've thought this plan through more.

Soon, she saw Peanut stand wobbly on the bed and trot over to Chloe. Since the red head was laying on her back, with her upper body free from the blankets, he sat on her chest and began to lick her face.

Beca cracked a small smile as she saw the action. Chloe's nose crinkled and she let out a small groan, "Why do you always," then her eyes fully opened and she saw Beca standing there with that crooked smile and she smiled and everything was fine, despite the puppy drool on her face.

"Hey," Beca said gently.

Chloe sat up, "Hey."

Beca rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, not knowing what to say or how to say what she wanted to. She wanted to curl up with Chloe and hold her until she fell back asleep. But, even though that's what happened the previous night, she was unsure if that was an acceptable thing to do.

"Lay down with me."

Beca slipped her shoes off. She walked over and Chloe lifted the blankets for Beca. The brunette sat down, leaning her head against the headboard and she looked down at Chloe.

The red head had a small smile playing at her lips.

Beca couldn't help but smile back.

Beca shifted so she was face to face with Chloe, each laying on their sides.

"Can I ask you a question?" Beca quietly asked.

Chloe nodded against her pillow.

Beca looked into Chloe's eyes and could see the tiredness. She could see how worn out Chloe seemed. Maybe it was from the new medicine, or maybe it was from everything and anything.

Beca had wanted to ask Chloe this question, but no time seemed right. And though right now still didn't seem appropriate, she couldn't hold back.

"You left that morning, but now you're afraid I'll leave you. You seem to want to spend _every _moment with me. Why?"

Chloe averted her eyes. They laid in the same position for what seemed like several moments before Chloe said anything.

"I don't know. I have no excuse as to why I've been doing anything I have. I don't have a rhyme or reason. I have no answer other than I simply don't know."

Beca continued to look at Chloe. She took in the circles under her eyes. The dullness through out her face.

Chloe sat up and pulled her legs into herself, "I feel like I'm bi polar or something."

Beca chuckled and propped herself up on her arm, "What do you mean?"

"When I was writing you that note I had so many things going through my mind. Then when I left I thought everything would just be over, and if I'm being honest I felt good that I wouldn't be a burden. Then the next day I felt terrible. I felt like the worst person in the world for just saying we're over and leaving."

Beca nodded, "So, why are you so worried I'll leave?"

Chloe set her head on her legs, "Its just a thought. I've always been worried, but now I'm terrified because I left, so now I'm afraid you'll leave. I don't want you to go."

Beca jutted her lips to the side, "I'm not going to you. Even if you never kiss me again. Even if we are never, ever together. I won't leave you alone. I mean, I'll always be your friend. But, if we don't get together you have to promise me that you'll be happy for me, because even if we aren't together and you find someone else, I'll be happy for you, as long as your happy."

Chloe lifted her head and shyly smiled, "I don't want anyone else," she whispered.

"Neither do I."

Chloe moved so she was facing Beca again. She set her hand on Beca's cheek, she ran her thumb over the skin and gave Beca another shy smile.

"I think I'm going crazy," Chloe said with a small laugh.

Beca shook her head and placed a hand on Chloe's back to bring her closer just because she wanted to feel Chloe next to her, "Do you remember that song you used to sing all the time? You would sing it every damn day until you went into that old school music phase?"

Chloe giggled, a real, happy sounding giggle, "The one that was like, really depressing and you didn't get why I loved it so much?"

Beca nodded.

Chloe smiled, "What about it?"

"Sing it."

Chloe furrowed her brows and smiled shyly, "Why?"

"I miss you singing all the time."

Chloe kept smiling, "Which part?"

"Any, just sing."

Chloe sat up as Beca shifted so she was lying on her back.

"I can't.. I can't sing it. I don't even know where to start," Chloe said shyly.

Beca laughed, "Sing that last part. The one where the guys like, "you're perfect to me," or some cliche thing."

Chloe took her bottom lip in with her teeth, "You really want me to?"

Beca nodded.

Chloe half smiled and began to hum it gently, before she sang the last verse.

_**Perfect for you...**_

_**I will be perfect for you**_

_**So I could go crazy,**_

_**Or you could go crazy**_

_**It's true...**_

Chloe looked at Beca for a moment who had a smile on her face and Chloe smiled back.

_**Sometimes life is insane,**_

_**But crazy I know I can do**_

_**'Cause crazy is perfect**_

_**And fucked-up is perfect,**_

_**So I will be perfect...**_

_**Perfect...**_

Chloe narrowed her eyes as Beca said the last word, then sang the last line quietly.

_**Perfect for you...**_

Chloe broke out into a large smile, "You are something else."

Beca laughed, "Do you get it?"

"I can't believe you, geez, you are so cliche."

"I am _not._"

Chloe shook her head, "God, Beca."

Beca smiled, "But you get why I wanted you to sing it, right?"

Chloe nodded, "Because that's how you feel?"

"Right."

Chloe closed her eyes for a moment and then laughed dryly , "I can't believe you did that. And the other words in that song. You know the song. It's about agirl who's basically fucking crazy and the guy, he, he says he loves her and you, you mean that?"

Beca nodded, "Like he says in the song, cause crazy is perfect and fucked up is perfect."

Chloe snorted, "You're just so damn cliche."

"All right, maybe a little," Beca said as she pulled Chloe down next to her.

Their noses touched. Their lips were barely connected. The air was thick and they weren't even sure if Peanut was still in the room or what.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Chloe quietly said against Beca's lips, "cause you know, that's what happens in the song."

Beca softly smiled and looked to Chloe's eyes, then her lips. She traced her fingers on Chloe's back as she rested their foreheads together.

"As long as you promise not to run away again if something goes wrong."

Chloe closed her eyes and let her hand slide to Beca's neck, she opened them and let out a breath onto Beca's lips, "As long as you never leave, I'll never leave," Chloe whisper-stated as she crashed their lips together for the first time in what felt like an eternity.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 - Monday**

A few days passed and nothing changed. Chloe was still wary about Beca leaving. Beca began to think that Chloe would always assume the worst.

Monday reared it's ugly head. Chloe's always hated Mondays. But now her hate has increased by a tenfold because those are the days she now has to attend trauma therapy from two-thirty until four-thirty every afternoon.

Yeah, it was a voluntary decision, but that does not make the situation any better.

The one perk of Mondays is that Chloe was given the day off. Beca decided she would take the day off as well, instead of Wednesdays, so after Chloe's therapy they could spend the rest of the day together. It would make the day just that more bearable.

* * *

><p>Beca and Chloe were walking into the hospital where Chloe was supposed to be attending the therapy. Chloe was holding onto Beca's hand so tightly, the brunette was sure the blood circulation was being cut off, but didn't say anything.<p>

"Are you supposed to check in or something?"

Chloe looked around and saw a few people in the front waiting room. The room was very large, clean and open. The light shown down through the glass interior and Chloe sighed once she heard Beca's voice.

"Yeah. Hold on," Chloe stated as she let go of Beca's hand and walked up to the front desk.

Chloe told the women why she was there, and who she was. Beca wasn't aloud back with Chloe, which they both knew was the case.

Chloe walked back over to Beca just before she had to go, she smiled, albeit sadly at her. She noticed and brought Chloe into her for a loving hug. She ran her hands up and down her back and kissed her cheek, "You'll be fine, Chlo."

Chloe pulled back and nodded, "Thank you."

Beca then let Chloe walk back with a random nurse. She walked outside to make a call. She dialed Jesse quickly to ask him an important question.

"Hey, you still asking today?"

"I'm kinda nervous.."

"You really think she would say no? _Really_?"

Beca sighed, "I don't know. What if I freak her out?"

Jesse laughed, "I don't think she'll be freaked out. Plus, the idea you've got is actually adorable. I tip my hat to you, Beca."

Beca snorted, "Thanks. Well, I better get going if I'm going to make it in time to pick it up."

"Good luck!"

Beca hung up and took a breath as she began walking, hoping her big decision was right.

* * *

><p>Once Chloe was taken back into the right room, she was led in and sat down. Soon enough, the door opened again and a tall man with shaggy hair walked in.<p>

"Hello.. Chloe? Chloe Beale?"

Chloe nodded and half smiled.

"My name is Doctor Mason," The man walked over to the chair that was obviously reserved for him.

"All right, so for this first session we will just discuss your traumatic stress. I will use a trauma scale to measure this information. Sound reasonable?"

Chloe nodded, "Yes."

He smiled warmly, "First off, how are you doing today?"

Chloe bobbed her head and tapped her fingers on her knee, "I'm doing okay."

"Good. Good, how have you been in general? I understand from your file, you're taking a new medicine?"

Chloe opened her mouth to reply, then closed it for a moment. She thought about lying and saying all was well, but suddenly she was blurting out, "I'm tired. The medicine makes me really drowsy. And I feel like I can't ever get enough sleep. But other than that, I'm actually doing okay."

"Yeah, that's the only drawback of the highest dosage. But it does work very well."

Chloe nodded, "Yeah, I hope it does what it's supposed to."

He smiled, "So, I'm going to explain to you the four categorized symptoms of traumatic stress, and I want you to explain to me if you feel like you fit into the categories or , I already know which ones you fit into. But, this is for your benefit."

Chloe nodded in agreement and he went on to explain all of the categories.

He explained hyperarousal. The increase in heart rate, respiration and blood pressure; psycho-motor agitation, difficulty sleeping, remembering and concentrating, anxiety, fear, irritability or anger.

Chloe knew she had the anxiety, fear, and anger. She agreed to being hyperaroused, but the doctor confirmed that she was in fact not. And that those symptoms are that of normality. And most and many people do have the emotions. Even though, yes, she had them due to her past, she doesn't fit into the category.

He then explained avoidance. Avoiding reminders of the trauma including talking about it, thinking about it, visiting places where it occurred, or being around people who shared the experience. Other avoidant symptoms include withdrawing from friends or family, or being unable to work. Avoidance was a common one. And in reality no one wants to think about what had happened to them, but in this traumatic scale, not everyone fits in. Because it can range from being so emotionally scarred that even having one thought can scare you, to thinking about it for hours and it having no affect on you because it's so deep in your brain. You feel numb to the memory.

Chloe fit into it. She never really realized it, but she does avoid it. Thinking about it scares her, talking about it makes her skin crawl, and just thinking about being in the house she was trapped in makes her want to explode. And the other symptoms of withdrawing from family and friends she fit into. She hadn't visited her family since she moved back to the city. Her parents had moved about a half hour outside the would like to say she doesn't know why, but she does. Embarrassment is the biggest reason. The man advised her to spend time with family and try to get into a routine of it. And lastly, unable to work. She hadn't had a big problem with working until she started the new medicine, but he confirmed that, that was a large factor.

And then he explained the intrusions. Intrusive thoughts or memories of the traumatic event; flashbacks (in which people feel they are reliving the event with great intensity); and nightmares. He let her know that sometimes people will make sure they wake themselves up to avoid nightmares, which Chloe doesn't do. She rarely has nightmares, and when she does it's the same damn one. And it's him burning her neck. She can practically feel the burning sensation upon her, and since it's a dream, she has no control. She explained that to him and he confirmed that she does indeed have the intrusive thoughts. Which she was slightly confused on because she doesn't have flashbacks.

Apparently, each symptom is measured differently. It's all sorts of confusing.

The very last one he explained was hypoarousal. A sense of being numb, not feeling, (sometimes not smelling or tasting) having a sense of "unreality" or amnesia about the event or in general; being spaced out a lot. Conversation problems can also be a symptom of hypoarousal. People can be tense and agitated at the same time as they feel numb inside.

Chloe didn't fit into the category beside having conversation problems and occasionally feeling numb to life. Even though she fit into each category in some aspects, she doesn't actually have it. So, she didn't have hyperarousal or hypoarousal. Chloe had the avoidance and intrusive thoughts.

After he was done explaining the scale, he asked, "Do you drink alcohol, smoke or do any drugs?"

Chloe shook her head, "I don't."

"Good. That's good, because many people can be so distressed that the turn to alcohol, smoking or drugs. And that's just adds to the issues."

"Yeah," Chloe began, "I, I've never really gotten the chance and I don't plan on becoming an alcoholic or druggie."

"I'm glad. This went well. You seem to really want to get over this problem and it's actually remarkable that you signed yourself up for this."

Chloe shyly smiled, "Thanks."

* * *

><p>After the long session, Chloe walked out and down the hall to the front waiting room and saw Beca sitting there with two brown paper bags. She cracked a small smile and walked up.<p>

"Hey, you. How'd it go?" Beca asked with concern laced in her voice.

Chloe smiled at the sweet worry, "Really good. It was interesting. He kind of talked a lot, but it was.. a good start."

"I'm glad," Beca stated.

Chloe nodded and looked down, "Why do you have two brown bags?"

Beca smirked, "I figured the first session deserved something special."

Beca stood up with the bags in her hand and began walking, so Chloe followed suit.

"You're not going to tell me where we're going, are you?" Chloe asked as the pair walked.

"Just follow me."

Chloe tried to keep the smile off her face, but she couldn't even try.

"Thank you for taking me. And just being there. It means a lot," Chloe stated.

Beca smiled at her, "Of course."

They continued to walk and once Beca knew they reached near their destination she said, "Were going to the park."

"I should've known," Chloe said.

The two walked into the park and Beca led them to one of the many little tables scattered around. Chloe sat down as Beca continued to stand.

"Close your eyes."

Chloe half smiled, "Why?"

"Just do it. It's a surprise."

Chloe closed her eyes. She heard what was assumed to be the paper bags being moved.

"Can I open them?" Chloe asked eagerly.

"Hold on," Beca said as she finally got everything out of the bags, "Go ahead."

Chloe opened them and laughed when she saw two pink boxes, what she assumed was cake.

"Okay, so you made me close my eyes just to see cake boxes?" Chloe asked.

Beca rolled her eyes playfully, "Open them. The one on your right first."

Chloe opened the first one and her heart skipped a beat when she read what the cake said. She looked up to Beca and covered her open mouth. For a moment she wasn't sure what was happening and so she read it over again.

_'Will you be my girlfriend?'_ written in pink icing.

Chloe only sat with her mouth slightly agape and her hand barely covering it. Beca started to get worried that finally asking Chloe really wasn't a good idea.

"Are you serious?" Chloe asked a growing smile.

Beca nodded, "Open the other one," she continued to stand nervously.

Chloe did so and there were four different cookies in heart shapes. They said, yes, yes, yes, and yes with red icing.

Chloe continued to stare down. Going from the pretty pink iced cake, to the nicely decorated cookies. For a moment, she forgot what was happening. She looked back at the cookies and laughed when she read them. It was almost as if everything clicked in that moment. She picked up one of the 'yes' ones and smiled up at Beca shyly.

"You have to put it in the cake. There's a heart cut out," Beca said, feeling much more confident.

Chloe's face softened, she set the cookie in the cut out and bit her lip through a smile.

"You are the queen of cliche, Becs," Chloe said as she stood up and grabbed Beca by the back of her neck and kissed her. Not even caring one bit they were in the middle of Central Park.

"I thought you were going to say no," Beca breathed out.

Chloe smiled and ran her hand down Beca's neck, placing it on the front of Beca's coat, "How could I say no to that?"

"So, yes?"

Chloe smiled wide, "Yes."

Beca smiled and kissed her again.

"I can eat the cake, right?" Chloe asked once she pulled apart.

Beca laughed, "Yeah, go ahead. It's for you, after all."

Chloe smiled, "I love you," she said as she once again kissed Beca.

* * *

><p>After the two ate bits and pieces of the cake and cookies, they packed it up and walked back to Chloe's apartment. They walked inside and were bombarded by Peanut jumping up and down as he yelped.<p>

"Okay, okay," Chloe said as she picked him up, "Quit it."

Beca walked into the kitchen to put the boxes down and started laughing as she saw puddles of urine.

"Chlo, it doesn't seem like Peanuts doing doing very well with.. going to the bathroom," she said as she set the boxes down.

Chloe walked in with Peanut in her hands and looked at the mess, "I know," she said as she set him down. She began to clean it up as Beca slouched against the counter.

"Whenever I'm here he always goes where he's told, but if I'm gone he doesn't."

Beca nodded, "He probably gets scared."

Chloe finished cleaning up the mess. She stood back up and Peanut almost made her trip as he came trotting back over, "I swear, he's going to kill me."

Beca had an amused smile on her face, "I think he just really loves you."

Chloe laughed and picked him back up. She kissed his head, "You think so?"

Beca pushed herself off the counter and walked over to Chloe. Peanut starting wiggling in her arms, so Chloe once again set him down.

"It's hard not to love you," Beca stated.

Chloe half smiled, "You love me so much.. It's weird."

"Is it?" Beca asked, playing along.

"A little," Chloe said, "but I love you so much, so it's not _that_ weird."

Beca laughed as she hoisted Chloe up, making the red head wrap her legs around her own waist, as her arms snaked around Beca's neck.

"You're strong," Chloe stated.

Beca began walking out to the sofa, "Very," she said smugly.

Chloe lowered her head to Beca's ear, "You being so strong is kind of a turn on."

And thank God that Beca had just reached the back of the couch, because once she heard Chloe's hot breath tickle her ear and the words following suit, she felt her stomach flutter as her legs became jello.

"Oh, yeah?" Beca said once she regained her composure.

Chloe nodded and began to play with the small tendrils capering Beca's neck, making her shudder at the lingering touch.

Beca looked at Chloe as Chloe looked at Beca. Their eyes said everything that needed to be spoken. Beca leaned in as Chloe did, they each took extra long to get to their destination. Just taking each other in. Observing each and every aspect of each other's faces.

"I never tell you how beautiful I think you are," Chloe murmured against Beca's lips, "or how much I really love you. How in love with you I am," she said quietly as she ran her thumb over Beca's cheek, "or how much I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Or how lucky I feel that you're not just my girlfriend now, but my best-friend."

Beca smiled softly, she lowered her grip on Chloe's back. Chloe sucked in a breath and tightened her loose legs around Beca's waist, their bodies becoming closer. Beca slowly pressed her lips to Chloe's. It was unhurried yet poignant. Soft, slow and steady, it was everything and anything wrapped up into a small kiss.

"You smell like vanilla," Chloe breathed out onto Beca's lips.

"Yeah, you smell like hospital."

Chloe chuckled, "Should I shower?"

"If you want. I can order us food while you shower?"

Chloe nodded and Beca backed away, letting Chloe hop off the back of the couch and scurry off into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>"Beca! Seriously?"<p>

Beca smiled, "Seriously."

Chloe groaned playfully, "Please?"

"You know what you have to do."

Chloe's lips tugged into a small smile, "I don't want to."

Beca shrugged, "Then the last piece of pizza is mine."

"Oh, come on! I've never even been hit on before. How am I supposed to know the worst pick up line?"

Beca smirked, "Sure you have, Chlo. Just tell me, already and you can have the last piece."

Chloe shifted, "Fine," she lowered her voice, "Hey, baby. My names Peter Pan, cause I can take you to Neverland."

Beca laughed, then Chloe followed suit soon after.

"That was bad," Beca said.

Chloe playfully pouted, "That was me picking you up."

Beca leaned forward, "Oh, it did the trick," she said before pressing her lips to Chloe's. What was meant to be a chaste kiss, turned into a heated one as Chloe pulled Beca down on top of her. Beca slowed it down soon, propping herself up on her elbows, she pressed small kisses to Chloe's lips, before pulling back.

"I want.. I want you to kiss me.. and don't stop," Chloe whispered breathily.

Beca's mouth parted and she looked into Chloe's eyes skeptically. The red head could tell Beca was contemplating her words. She traced her fingers along Beca's jaw, "It's okay."

Chloe was nervous, she was understandably worried. But, she wanted to finally share this intimate moment with Beca. She wanted Beca in every way possible and this was something she was aching for.

"Are you sure?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded and let her hands cup Beca's cheeks, "I'm sure. I love you, and I want you."

Beca leaned back in, closing the gap. She continued to prop herself up, now resting one hand on Chloe's side, running it along her ribs as the red head had her hands rested around Beca's neck gently. The kiss broke and Beca sat up, pulling Chloe with her, "We're going to go slow, okay?"

Chloe nodded, and let her hands roam to Beca's shirt, timidly she lifted it, making Beca raise her arms, as she took it off. Chloe stared at the bra clad chest for a moment before feeling Beca's hands on her own shirt, she let the brunette take it off of her.

Chloe's seen Beca in a bra once before, but something about this time around was driving her crazy. And Beca was feeling the same. They each took each other in for a moment, before Chloe leaned Beca away from her, having her back hit the back of the sofa, to Beca's surprise, Chloe straddled her. Beca smiled and gripped Chloe's back, holding her up right.

Chloe placed her hands on Beca's shoulders, then ran her hands down the front of her chest. When she reached Beca's breasts, she very hesitantly cupped her through the bra. Beca's breath slightly hitched, looking up at Chloe she saw the girls mouth parted, with her eyes boring down. Beca set her hands on Chloe's thighs, then ran her fingers up Chloe's stomach. She took in the beauty of Chloe that was sitting before her, now back to gripping her back, before she leaned forward, pressing kisses to the exposed skin of her stomach. Chloe's breathing sped up, she felt the kisses caper down, then back up. They became wetter and Chloe let out a whimper once Beca kissed the area right under her bra. She lifted Beca's head up and their eyes met, Beca decided to lay Chloe down, so she shifted them, not once breaking eye contact, she softly made Chloe's body come in contact with the couch again.

They kissed, slowly at first, then it became hungry and Beca pushed her hips down into Chloe's, not even knowing where she was going with this or how she was going to go. Just knowing she needed some friction. Chloe whimpered into Beca's mouth at the sudden contact, rising her hips to meet the brunettes. The kiss broke and Beca gave Chloe a small, reassuring smile.

"Could you, can you.. go down more?" Chloe mumbled.

Beca chuckled, "Go down..?"

Chloe's face went red, "You don't have to."

Beca kissed Chloe's forehead, then her nose, before kissing her cheek then whispering, "I was kidding," she began to kiss down Chloe's jaw, earning little whimpers each time she kissed a new area of her neck. The brunette sucked on Chloe's pulse point for a minute, earning a moan. The first moan she had ever heard from Chloe. It made her insides twist and her heart beat rise. She kissed her collarbone, nipping gently, then went back up Chloe's neck slowly, earning a disproving groan.

"Stay down," Chloe mumbled with her eyes closed and her stomach rising out of time.

Beca chuckled at the urgency and admired her for a moment, "You are so perfect."

Chloe smiled, "Now go. Please?"

Beca slowly kissed her, drawing it out as much as she could. Using her tongue to convey the passion. She pulled apart, immediately kissing down her chest.

Chloe breathed out once she felt Beca's lips kissing her breast. Beca continued to kiss the skin of Chloe's breast, as she cupped one, letting her other hand roam around her ribs. Chloe let out another whimper when she felt Beca's tongue make small circles on the exposed area of her breasts.

"Lower. Go lower," Chloe said as her eyes fluttered closed.

Beca complied, she kissed down her stomach, making sure she worshiped the area. Running her fingers over the hot skin, she swirled her tongue around a few times. She got to the hem of Chloe's pants and began to leave wet, hot kisses tracing the line. Chloe involuntarily moaned, flinging one arm off the couch as one hand thread through Beca's hair. The girl continued to torture Chloe with those searing kisses, when she heard Chloe breathe out her name with an exasperated breath. Something spurred in her. The way her name rolled off Chloe's tongue meant something. And she knew she wanted her name in Chloe's mouth forever.

Beca popped the button of Chloe's pants, "Is this okay?"

Chloe looked down at Beca, "Yes."

The brunette began to unzip Chloe's pants, when the front door flung open. Chloe shot up, kneeing Beca in the face.

"Fuck!" The brunette hissed.

"What the hell?"

Chloe looked towards the door, then back at her wincing girlfriend, "I'm sorry," she said to both of them.

Beca continued to cover her face as Amy walked over. Chloe sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth, not knowing what to say.

"You guys are sooo a couple, aren't you?"

They nodded and Amy laughed, "Called it. I knew it. I knew it," she said over and over again, not even phased of the state the two were in.

"Sorry I interrupted, but you two really should try your sexapades in private next time," Amy stated, then walked away.

Chloe scooted over to Beca, "I am so sorry. Here, uncover your face."

Beca did, wincing as she did so. Chloe sighed a breath of relief, "No blood, thank God. I am so sorry, Beca. I didn't mean to."

Beca chuckled, "I know. It's okay. I just need an ice pack or something and I'll be okay."

Chloe nodded and looked down, "I guess we'll save this for another time?"

Beca nodded, "Maybe it's a good thing? This was kinda rushed. I'll plan it out more. We can have a nice dinner or something?"

Chloe smiled, "Yeah, okay."

Beca nodded and took Chloe's hand into her own, "I still love you."

Chloe giggled, "I still love you, too."

"Now, get me that ice pack,"she said as she pecked Chloe's lips, "my nose is burning from your bony knee." Beca said playfully.

Chloe grabbed her shirt, putting it on and threw Beca hers and she buttoned her pants, "Right away," she pressed a chaste kiss to Beca's lips before leaning into her ear, "You're really sexy when you use your tongue like that. I can't wait to see what else you can do."

Beca's mouth fell open at the words, then watched as Chloe sauntered into the kitchen. She leaned back and groaned slightly, "Why did Amy have to come home?"


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Fair warning, contains smut.

**Chapter 18 - Changes**

Chloe awoke sporadically a few nights later with sweat beading her forehead. Her breath in a ragged pace. With her body feeling as if it was on fire. She tried to catch her breath as she sat up quickly. She looked around the dark room for a moment, before realizing what just happened. She felt an over whelming ache in her lower abdomen and core. An ache she knows all too well.

Then she felt Peanut plop himself down in her lap.

With her breathing still lapsed, she began to remember why she woke up.

Her dream.

Her very sexual, very intimate, very realistic dream.

Including Beca.

Now yeah, for the most part, this could be normal. But, Chloe's never had one of these dreams. One of these dreams are a completely new to her. Real, pure sex is a new concept to her. All she knows is the kind of sex where you're being used as an object more than anything. It scared her and it made her body feel different.

"Oh my God," she muttered as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. She stood up and walked into the bathroom. The red head looked at herself and took a breath. She turned the water on and began rinsing her face, trying to calm herself down. Once she was barely collected, she turned the light off and walked back into her room.

Chloe carefully laid back down. She had a very hard time going back to sleep. The throbbing feeling in between her legs wouldn't subside so she had to do something about it. She could've left it.. She hesitantly ran her hand down her stomach, feeling slightly embarrassed about herself. Was this okay? She's done it before.. But not after a dream. Not after being so turned on by Beca. If that really even counts as Beca doing this to her. She can barely remember what the dream was and suddenly she was gasping for air as her body sunk into her bed. Once that was taken care of, she fell back asleep quite quickly.

* * *

><p>Chloe had always like Saturday mornings. But, most of the time she missed the morning and woke up around eleven. It was still technically morning, but she loved the early morning sky and the crisp air that she rarely got to enjoy.<p>

The red heads eyes fluttered open and she let out a breath, seeing it was eleven-thirty. She turned over onto her side and closed her eyes. And then her dream started to rush through her mind again.

Chloe groaned and sat up, running a hand through her hair she picked up her phone and saw she had two texts from Beca.

_'Good morning. I hope you slept well.'_ Sent at eight this morning, and then another one sent around thirty minutes ago,_ 'Call me when you get this.'_

Chloe took a breath, trying to compose herself before she dialed Beca. Once she pressed call, for some reason her heart started to pound and she got nervous.

"Hey, you just wake up?"

Chloe gulped, "Hey, yeah. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. You needed the sleep," Beca reassured.

Then there was a pause since Chloe didn't reply.

"Chlo?"

"Yeah?"

"You doing okay?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded, but then soon realized Beca couldn't see her, "Still tired."

"Oh well, uh, I think Jesse is letting me take tonight off, so I wanted to cook you dinner."

Chloe smiled, "Okay."

"So, you can come over at like eight? Or do you want me to pick you up?"

"No," Chloe stated, "No, I'll walk."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need the exercise."

Beca chuckled, "Okay. I'll see you tonight?"

"Tonight," Chloe said, feeling even more nervous, yet slightly eager that _something_ would hopefully happen.

* * *

><p>Beca was busy making sure her pasta wasn't over cooking, when she got a text from Chloe, letting her know she was in the elevator. Beca told her to just come in, since the door was unlocked. As she was taking some plates out, she felt arms wrap around her midsection, along with a small, "Hey."<p>

Beca set the plates down, "Hey, you," she turned around in the embrace and wrapped her arms around Chloe's neck, "Peanut didn't scare you too much did he?"

Chloe giggled, "Sorry for calling you like right after I hung up. He freaked me out," Chloe explained.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you called."

Chloe smiled, "How are you doing?"

"Good now that you're here," Beca flirted jokingly.

Chloe smiled again, they stood for a moment, Beca noticed Chloe's eyes were drooping as time went on, "You doing okay?" she softly asked.

"Yeah," Chloe stated, "why?"

Beca brought her hands up to cup Chloe's cheeks, then ran her thumbs softly under her eyes, "Did you not sleep well?"

Chloe tensed, and Beca could feel it, "I did. I did, yeah. It's the medicine I think."

Beca nodded, "You just look really tired."

Chloe lightly shrugged, "I'm okay."

Beca softy smiled at her so Chloe smiled back, "I missed you," the red head voiced.

"I missed you, too. You look beautiful," Beca said as she pecked her lips.

Chloe blushed, she rested her forehead against Beca's.

"As much as I love just standing here with you, my pasta is going to burn."

Chloe pressed her lips to Beca's gently, then backed away, "Wouldn't want your hard work to go to waste."

Beca walked back over to the stove with her plates and turned the oven off, "I just made spaghetti and cooked some garlic bread. I hope that's okay? It won't hurt your stomach, hopefully?"

"Oh, I just won't have the garlic bread. Garlic doesn't mix well with the pills," Chloe seated herself.

"Shit, really? I'm sorry, Chlo. I would've made something-"

"No, no!" Chloe said, "It's fine. It's not like you knew that garlic hurts my stomach. I actually have this whole list of spices I shouldn't eat."

Beca chuckled, "Oh well, maybe you should give it to me next time so I can make stuff that you can eat."

Chloe smiled, "Will do."

Beca took the pasta out and set it on each plate, then took one piece of garlic bread for her, after she put the sauce on. Once ready, she brought the two plates over to the small table.

"What do you want to drink? I would say wine and be all romantic, but I know you can't drink."

Chloe laughed, "I guess just water."

Beca turned back around and got them two glasses of water. She returned and gave Chloe her water, then sat down across from her.

"I know this isn't all that romantic or anything.." Beca trailed off, "I suck at this kind of stuff."

Chloe smiled as they began to eat, "It's perfect. I never knew you were a cook."

Beca snorted, "Oh, no. I can't cook anything more than this."

"It's actually really good," Chloe stated, she rested her spare hand in Beca's and drew patterns on the skin as they continued to eat.

* * *

><p>The two girls made their way over to the couch after eating and cleaning up. Beca opened her arms for Chloe who complied. Chloe rested her head on Beca's chest and absently closed her eyes. She felt Beca run her fingers gently though her hair, then kiss her head, "I love when you do that," Chloe said sleepily.<p>

Beca smiled, "I know. I can feel you relax into me," she said. It was one of the best feelings in the world for Beca. To hold Chloe and feel her mesh into her. To know that Chloe felt safe in her arms made her happier than she could explain.

Chloe let out a content breath. Then her dream came back into play. She thought about telling Beca about it, but she didn't want her to be weirded out. And really, how was she even going to tell her? Chloe could barely even handle thinking about it, nonetheless speaking on it. Though, Chloe decided she wanted to, "Last night, I.. kind of had, uh, I had a dream about you," Chloe was trying to be at least as little sultry, but the way the words fumbled from her mouth made her sound timid and shy like usual.

"Really?" Beca asked as she continued her loving gesture though Chloe's hair.

Chloe nodded against Beca's chest.

"What was it about?"

Chloe started playing with the buttons of Beca's plaid shirt with shaky fingers, she did a small shrug of her shoulders before popping the first two from the bottom open. The red head took a small breath, "Can I take this off?" she asked, looking up at Beca.

Beca smirked, "Tell me your dream and you can."

Chloe pursed her lips slightly, "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Beca turned her body inwards, making her now face Chloe.

Chloe nodded, "Maybe," she softly spoke, looking in to Beca's eyes.

"You're not supposed to keep things from me," Beca whispered with a smirk.

Chloe's lips tugged into a shy smile, "Maybe I'll tell you," she whispered back, running her hand along Beca's thigh, "maybe."

Beca let out a breath as Chloe began toying with the buttons of Beca's shirt again, feeling only an inch more confident, she bit her lip then mumbled, "Can you guess what it was about?" She popped the third button open, and Beca felt Chloe's finger tips linger on her skin. Chloe absently started to trail her fingers over the small area of exposed skin, making the brunette tense. She continued to pop open the buttons as she waited for an answer. She was surprised with herself at just how forward she was now being. And once she got up to Beca's bra, the brunette stopped her. Thinking Beca was about to tell her they should stop, she opened her mouth to recoil, but then Beca's lips were on hers and she was soon reciprocating with just as much fervor.

Chloe whimpered into Beca's mouth once she felt the brunettes tongue massaging her own. She threaded her fingers through Beca's hair as one hand cupped her neck. They pulled apart for a moment, each trying to catch their breaths. Neither girl could deny the look of want in each other's eyes. And Beca swore she had never seen Chloe look so perfect. With her lips slightly swollen, but still a reddish-pink and just as plump. Her chest was rising fast and her cerulean eyes were boring into her own. Beca again took notice of Chloe's tired eyes, "I think you need some sleep, Chlo. You look like you're going to pass out any second."

Chloe shook her head, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

Chloe nodded and cupped Beca's cheek. Chloe knew Beca was asking more than one question, "So sure," Beca took another moment to admire Chloe, before standing up. Chloe stood with her. Since the two were both wearing button ups, Beca began backing Chloe to her bedroom as she unbuttoned her.

"You know," Beca started as she continued the action, "I'm beginning to think this dream of yours.. wasn't just a regular dream."

They reached Beca's room, and their shirts were each at a level playing field. Chloe had no answer, she was concentrated on how attractive Beca looked with her hair slightly messy, as her shirt was revealing so much, yet so little. The only thing she knew for sure was how good the brunette hands felt on her. And she hadn't even _really_ touched her yet.

"It was something else, that's for sure."

Beca chuckled lowly and backed Chloe all the way into her room. The lights were dimmed and it had a certain fresh smell to it.

"The lights.. did you plan this?"

Beca smirked and shrugged lightly, "I might have. Now on with the dream."

Chloe gulped, "Maybe later."

Beca ran her finger tips along Chloe's stomach, "Maybe now. Does it have anything to do with Monday night?"

Chloe bit her lip as Beca's fingers danced around, raking down her stomach, then up. She drew small patterns waiting for Chloe's answer.

"It-it might have."

"Oh?" Beca asked, she raked her fingers down Chloe's stomach, this time dipping her fingertips just below the waistline of her jeans.

Chloe accidentally whimpered, then immediately looked down at Beca's still hand. Bringing her own hands up, the red head got the last two buttons of Beca's shirt that were in the way in between her fingers, "Can we, can I.. this needs to come off," Chloe whispered.

"Take it off, then," Beca whispered back as she ran her fingers back up.

Chloe popped the last two buttons, she stared at Beca's chest for a moment before slipping the shirt off her shoulders, and letting it fall to the ground. The red head admired Beca's taught stomach, before she felt Beca's hands on her own shirt.

"I can't be the only one here without a shirt on," Beca said.

Chloe slumped mentally at how calm Beca seemed, while she could barely say a word without fumbling. She granted the action and let Beca take her shirt off. The brunette made sure that she ran her fingers down Chloe's shoulders, before letting the shirt drop. Beca planned on going slow, taking everything in. Making sure Chloe was comfortable. And that's what she was going to do. She reached for Chloe's hands, "We're going to go slow, like I said before."

Chloe nodded and her eyes flickered down to Beca's chest, then up to her lips. The red head set her hands on Beca's neck, then slowly moved them down, reaching for her bra straps. She slipped them down her shoulders, then went around to unclasp the material.

The bra fell and Beca's chest was now bare. Chloe's breath left her body at the sight. She dropped her hands and continued to stare. Beca, suddenly feeling self conscious, tried to slightly cover herself.

"No," Chloe said, breaking from the gaze, she put Beca's arms down and took them into her hands, feeling a sudden rush of courage, the red head immediately ran her thumbs over Beca's nipples. The brunette let out a loud breath as she felt Chloe give a small squeeze. Beca took Chloe's hands off of her and stepped closer, closing the small space between them. She did the same action Chloe had, placing her hands on her neck, moving the straps slowly down her arms.

And all at once it was like time stopped, everything seemed to go slowly. The eye contact was drawn out, the locking of eyes was loving and each touch made the girls body feel as if they were on fire.

Beca gave Chloe a look as she ran her fingers tips up her ribs, asking if this move was granted, which Chloe only nodded slightly. It surprised her just how comfortable she felt. She didn't feel so vulnerable, so scared of the consequences. If this was happening just a few weeks prior, she would've freaked out by now. But, Beca was so caring, so gentle, and Chloe knew she was safe.

The task was done and they were both standing centimeters apart, their breathing slightly rugged from being so close. Their chests were barely aligned along with their mouths.

"Are you okay?" Beca quietly asked.

Chloe nodded, "I've just.. never done anything like this before," she continued to look into Beca's eyes. And really, neither had Beca. Beca has never loved anyone as much as Chloe. She's never gone this slow, it's never been this caring. Beca's never had sex with this much love laced through it. The brunette ran her fingertips along Chloe's ribs again, she gripped Chloe's back as she laid them down, never breaking eye contact. Their chests were now pressed together, and their eyes still locked. Beca took another moment to continue simply looking at Chloe. Admiring her big blue eyes, the tiny freckles that danced around her nose. The noticeable scar she had on her forehead. Beca ran her thumb over the scar before gently pressing her lips on the skin. Then she pushed the hair out of her loves face, "You're so gorgeous."

Chloe smiled as she closed her eyes momentarily. She didn't say anything, instead she ran her thumb along Beca's bottom lip, then set one hand on her back, running her fingertips up and down the bumps of her spine. Beca propped herself up just enough to run her fingertips over Chloe's jawline, then going along her chin. Each girl tracing parts of one anothers body as they stared adoringly at one another. It might look a little off to anyone, but it was just them getting to know each other's features. As Chloe continued to run her fingers gently along Beca's back, the brunette made herself comfortable with one leg in between Chloe's, and hovered over her, "I love you so much. I've loved you for so damn long. And everyday I still can't believe you're mine and I'm yours."

Chloe smiled at the raw emotion that laced though Beca's words, her lips pursed as she closed her eyes again, trying not to cry. How awkward would crying be during this? But all as well, a few tears came out as she opened them again. Having Beca's eyes smile at her own, she ran her hand up Beca's arm slowly and placed it behind her neck, "I've loved you since I was fourteen years old. And I've never once second guessed myself. I've always known that you're the one. You're so perfect. I've always known that I love you more than I think it's even possible. I've waited for this since I was sixteen and I need you to make love to me, please."

So, Beca slowly pressed her lips to Chloe's, stopping the tracing motions and fully giving into the kiss. She did though, run her hands down Chloe's back, stopping at the dip to bring their bodies closer. The kiss eventually broke, and Beca felt like she had to ask Chloe if she was okay again.

"This is really okay? You're okay?"

Chloe let out a small, humble laugh at how Beca's demeanor had changed, "Yes."

Beca nodded, "Is it okay if I take your pants off?"

Chloe laughed louder this time, bringing their faces back together, she kissed Beca, "It's okay."

Beca moved down Chloe's body, unbuttoned her pants and slowly slid them off. She kissed the inside of her knee, then up her lower, inner thigh, before coming back up to her face.

"Take yours off, too," Chloe whispered.

Beca stood up quickly and began to take them off, her face flashing red once she realized just how hasty she was being. She got back on the redhead, giving her a chaste kiss that soon heated up. Lips left mouth as Beca pulled apart, "Can I go lower?"

Chloe let out a few breaths, trying to regain herself, she nodded and gulped. Becoming hyperaware of Chloe's rising and falling chest, Beca kissed down the front of Chloe's neck. Starting at her chin, then the areas of skin going down, she nipped at Chloe's collarbone, then trailed kisses down her chest. She took Chloe's breasts into her hands and ran her thumbs over her nipples a few times, making Chloe's breathing speed up even more, then she carefully took Chloe's nipple in her mouth. The red head let out a mixture of a drawn out breath with an, "Oh," laced through.

Feeling it harden further as she took it in between her teeth only spurred her on. Once Beca felt as though that one had enough, she kissed the valley in between her breast, then took in the other. Chloe bit down on her lip, becoming very aware that a sound may come out, as she felt Beca's hot lips completely latch around it as her wet, moist tongue drew small circles. Beca continued her actions, running her fingers down Chloe's tense stomach, feeling the red head shudder underneath her. Once Beca felt as if Chloe had enough on her breasts, she moved down, kissing her stomach like so, running her nails along the skin, as well. Chloe let out an involuntary moan as she felt the tender kisses become wet around her lower stomach.

"Beca," Chloe mumbled breathily, the brunette looked up as Chloe propped herself on her elbows, "I need you."

Beca's smirked up at Chloe, making the girls stomach gush, "Wait."

And telling Chloe to wait was a confident phrase Beca was using, because it was taking every ounce of her being not to just surge forward and make music from Chloe's mouth. Ten years of pent of frustration was egging her on, but knowing this was a big step, a very special and hopefully memorable night, and that Chloe was certainly new to this, she some how kept herself at a steady pace. And Chloe almost wanted to recoil. To scoff and explain just how long she's been waiting for this. But, she saw the love in Beca's eyes and despite the serious ache she was feeling, she didn't say a word.

Chloe rested her head back down, feeling Beca's fingers hook into her underwear, then move it down slowly. She felt the brunette kiss up her thigh, making her need Beca's lips on her even more, her breath hitched as she felt a hot breath ghost over where she desperately wanted contact, then cross over to the other side.

Beca looked up, seeing Chloe's hands in fists and her stomach rising quickly. And then Beca spread Chloe's legs ever so slightly. Taking in everything. Chloe's legs had goosebumps from each lingering touch of Beca. The small, albeit audible whimpers that left the red heads lips. Beca climbed back up Chloe, running her hands up her thighs. Giving her a loving kiss, she nudged her legs open more. Beca placed her thigh in between Chloe's legs, she started a slow, drawn out rocking motion. Chloe gripped Beca's shoulders, gasping at the sudden feeling of Beca against her, "That feels so good," she blurted.

Beca bit down on her lip at the whimpers Chloe was trying to repress, thinking it was the most amazing sound ever. She kissed down Chloe's neck, feeling her rise her hips with each rock, slightly moving in circles to earn the touch even more. Beca let herself mesh down in to Chloe's body, cupping her neck to press the kisses harder, while she rocked her thigh faster.

"Don't stop," Chloe whimpered, slightly digging her fingers into Beca's back, "Oh, don't stop."

Beca came to a small stop, not wanting Chloe to come like this. Chloe's mind was so cloudy she barely realized what was happening, suddenly she felt lips latch on, and Beca's tongue inside her, "Oh my God," she whimpered, trying to keep her voice low. She felt the warmness of Beca's tongue coating over her walls and dipping inside her, and then her back suddenly arched when the strokes of Beca's tongue became slightly more drawn out, they were slow and once they reached her clit, Beca applied pressure.

"Yes," Chloe breathed out, "God yes, Beca."

Beca continued kissing around, darting her tongue in and out, moving her tongue skillfully, and on her way to sending Chloe into oblivion. Beca hooked an arm around Chloe's thigh, as one went up, tracing patterns and lightly clawing down her stomach. The red head felt herself dive into weightlessness and her body jerk with each stroke of Beca's strong tongue, she reached down and laced her fingers through the girls hair, egging her on. Once she made the gesture, Beca's lips began sucking and she nipped harder.

Beca felt Chloe's body begin to tremble. Her hips jerked, her back kept arching with every stroke or suck. Each time a different variation of a small whimper was released. Beca unlatched from her. Not that she was trying to tease Chloe, because she certainly wasn't. Not this time, anyway. Beca knew that Chloe was holding back, she knew she was trying to stay as quiet as possible. And no, she's not being a cocky little shit, she can just tell. The way Chloe's letting the words out so low, while her body is reacting like this, makes it obvious.

Beca just wanted to see Chloe as she came, to see the red head be in a complete state of bliss. She looked up at the unraveling girl above her. She took in the breathtaking sight and kissed back up Chloe's stomach, earning a small groan of disapproval. Chloe's eyes were closed and her mouth was parted. She wiped her mouth before kissing Chloe's lips passionately, with fervor at first, then slowly, drawing it out.

The kiss broke, Chloe's eyes fluttered open and she lightly moaned at the dilated darkness in Beca's eyes, which turned into Chloe's face flashing even morered at the sound. Beca only ran her hand down the length of them, stopping right at Chloe's lower abdomen, brushing her finger tips softly along the hot skin, all the while looking deep into Chloe's eyes. The red head let out a exasperated sigh, "Please. I've waited so long for you and I need you," Beca closed her eyes at the whispered words, resting her forehead against Chloe's, she let her hand roam so she could move Chloe's legs apart again. Beca made no motive to do anything so Chloe grabbed Beca's hand and guided it to where she needed it.

"You're so impatient," Beca teased.

Chloe huffed, "You've almost made me come twice, I have a right."

Beca laughed softly, then pressed her lips to Chloe's, nudging her legs further open. She pressed her thumb to Chloe's clit, eliciting a moan deep into her mouth, then she moved one finger to Chloe's entrance, slowly moving it in so she could get a feel of it. She brought it back out as the kiss broke, this time slowly inserting two fingers, making Chloe buck her hips and letting a small gasp out. The brunette kept her eyes on Chloe's as the went in and out. Beca went slowly, not wanting to hurt her. But after a few times, she sped up. Chloe arched up into Beca, letting her hands grip her shoulders, she breathed out a small, "Beca," with knitted eyebrows.

Beca sped up her ministrations, making Chloe's body rise hastily up into her, opening up more. The brunette moved in and out, still going slowly, ignoring Chloe's quite pleas of need for more friction, she tried to ride out Chloe's visible intense feeling as much as possible. Chloe had never felt anything like this before, the sensation of Beca pressed up against her, of her diligent fingers moving in and out of her body. The love Beca emitted with each move made her body feel weightless and for a while, every worry she had washed away as Beca made her feel more than just a broken piece.

"Beca, please go f-faster," Chloe spoke lowly into Beca's ear. The brunette did speed up, but kept a steady pace. She rested her head in Chloe's neck, whispering, "I love you," over and over again as she kissed the scarred over tissue.

Chloe whimpered, trying so hard not scream out at the hot breath on her neck, mixing with the fervent pulsing of Beca's fingers and the apparent unadulterated love in her voice. She felt her orgasm building up, bubbling in her stomach, she let out breaths of pleasure as Beca didn't falter with her fingers. Now Chloe really began to tremble, her body shaking with each move. The brunette had never been so turned on and yet so mesmerized before. Seeing Chloe be in such a hungry state, so close to bliss, yet so far.

"I.. oh my.. Beca, I'm, I'm.. shit," Chloe panted.

Beca kissed Chloe's jaw as she heard the soft, yet hurried words, "Just let it happen," she thrusted a few more times, moving her thumb along Chloe's clit as well as wiggling her fingers. Chloe's orgasm washed over her body, jerking and pulsating throughout her, she tensed and wrapped her arms around Beca's neck tightly, her mouth falling into an o shape, gasping into her neck as the brunette helped Chloe ride out her over whelming orgasm. Jolts and sparks of pleasure kept rushing through, and once Beca knew Chloe was down from her high, she slowly pulled out, releasing a small, stolen whimper from the girl. Beca kissed Chloe's cheek, just now noticing she had some more spare tears coming out of her closed eyes. Chloe only smiled hazily as her eyes fluttered open. Beca ignored the tears with words, and wiped them, placing small, adoring kisses on the streaks.

"I'm so in love with you," Chloe mumbled as her eyes fluttered open and closed, with her chest still rising and falling.

"Was I really that good?" Beca asked with a smug smirk.

Chloe smiled and kissed Beca's nose, knowing that was _such_ a Beca answer, "I love you so much," she spoke slowly and gently. She flipped them over and rested their foreheads together relishing in the moment. Chloe kissed Beca softly, trying to convey just how much she appreciates her. She moved down to kiss Beca's neck, "I want to show you just how much I love you," she mumbled against the skin. And then Beca's mind went cloudy as Chloe repeated what she had previously done, knowing one hundred percent that this was so right. Beca got lost in the gentle touch of Chloe, and she knew everything was going to change by morning, but nothing was better than sharing this night together.

* * *

><p>AN: In the last chapter I forgot to put this, but I'm no psych major or anything and I've been really trying to make all of Chloe's problems realistic. And the trauma therapy I had to do a little research on, because it's apparently not like normal therapy at all. So, if any of you are psych majors or know a lot about it and I've been getting all this totally wrong, please let me know :P


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 - Tickle Fights**

Chloe laid still next to an awake Beca. Her body was face down into the bed, as her head laid peacefully on the pillow. Beca was slightly laying on her side, with her left arm under her head. She was looking at Chloe with a small smile that she didn't even realize was on her face. She always noticed that when the redhead sleeps, she regularly tenses her face up, then relaxes it.

Beca wondered if she was having a bad dream when the action took place, but dismissed the thoughts when she saw Chloe's mouth part and her eyes slowly open. She rolled over on to her back and smacked her mouth together. Beca laughed, "Good morning."

"Hmmorning," Chloe slurred.

"You really aren't a morning person, are you?"

Chloe shook her head and rolled back onto her stomach, "Time is it?"

"Almost twelve, Chlo."

"Have you been laying here this whole time?" Chloe asked hoarsely.

"No, I got up to use the bathroom a couple times and I kind of got dressed."

Chloe chuckled groggily, "Oh."

Beca nodded. She was dying to know how Chloe felt about last night. Like, she wanted to know so bad it was eating at her brain. But, she didn't want to just shout out the question.

"So, last night.."

Chloe smiled, hiding her face in the pillow slightly, "Yes?"

"How do you.. uh, feel about it?" Beca asked timidly.

"Stop worrying," Chloe said, she smiled, "I don't regret it, if that's what you're worried about."

Beca nodded and let out a breath, "Thank God."

Chloe blushed, "Did you think I would?"

"I wasn't sure. I mean, you didn't seem that nervous and then I started to think that maybe you didn't want to after all, and I don't know.. I didn't want you to rush into something like that."

"Oh," Chloe nodded, "I was nervous at first. But, you kept asking if I was okay and everything you did was so gentle and it made me feel calmer."

Beca smiled, "I wanted it to be special. I wanted you to feel special."

"Everything about it was special," Chloe whispered.

Beca smiled, "Then you don't regret it?"

"I dont," Chloe said, "Not one bit."

"Good, okay. This is good," Beca said, more to herself.

Chloe laughed, "You're cute."

Beca blushed, "I know," she spoke, trying to play off her red cheeks.

"Shut up," Chloe mumbled, now digging her face back into the pillow.

Beca laughed, rolled onto her stomach and set her fingers on the exposed part of Chloe's back, it being the top. She trickled her fingers on the skin softly.

"I'm going to fall back asleep if you keep doing that," Chloe mumbled.

"Want me to stop?" Beca gently asked.

"Hmm, no."

Beca smiled as she continued the gesture.

"Are you ever going to tell me that dream of yours?"

Chloe's face flashed red, "Let's get up and eat. I'm hungry," Chloe began to get up, but felt Beca pulling her back, "I'm not letting you leave until you tell me the dream."

Chloe closed her eyes, and let her head fall on Beca's chest, "It's embarrassing," she mumbled.

"I bet it's not that bad," Beca stated.

"No, it's bad," Chloe reassured tightening the blankets around her body.

And then Chloe's felt finger tips dancing around her waist, her eyes shot wide open and she yelped, "Beca!" She felt them caper down and up, "Stop," she giggled.

"Tell me the dream," Beca kept tickling her, then suddenly Chloe gripped her arms, almost halting the dancing of Beca's fingers, but she managed to keep it up, "Beca! I'll tell you," she giggled, "Just stop!"

Beca came to a slow stop, now slowing her motions she gently ran her fingers over Chloe's hips.

Chloe took a breath, "I'll tell you, but you have to make me food."

Beca laughed, "Fine, princess."

Chloe faked gasped and swatted at Beca's arm that was tracing her hip bone. Beca smirked, "Okay, tell me."

Chloe sucked in a breath, tightening the blankets around her, "You were in it.. and you kind of, you were doing.. some uh, things to me," Chloe fumbled.

"Go on," Beca said, not seeming to be fazed.

Chloe sighed and closed her eyes, "We were in the shower and you went down on me," she rushed out.

Beca nodded, "Is that it?"

"That's it," Chloe said.

"That's not so bad," Beca said.

Chloe whined slightly, "It is," she duked her head in Beca's neck, "I'm sorry."

Beca laughed, "Chlo, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"It's just.. weird, isn't it?" Chloe mumbled.

Beca let her hand roam to Chloe's back, she then kissed her shoulder, "Not weird."

Beca felt Chloe's lips turn into a smile against her neck, and then she shot up suddenly. Beca being confused sat up, "What's wrong?"

"I almost forgot to take my pills,"

Beca nodded as she saw Chloe frantically throw her button up on and she struggled to get her underwear over her legs, then grab her purse, "Hey, calm down. It's okay," she cooed as she got out of bed.

Chloe shook her head at the words and opened the bottle, taking the two pills she needed out, "I need water," she walked out of the room and into the kitchen with Beca following. She got a glass of water and gulped it down, along with the pills.

"Better?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded. Beca stepped forward so she was standing directly in front of Chloe. She looked at her dull eyes and frowned slightly. The circles under her eyes out weighed the blue, making them look dark.

"You slept for literally almost twelve hours and you still look like you're about to pass out," Beca stated.

"It's the medicine," Chloe mumbled.

Beca nodded, "You must be hungry."

"Starving."

Beca laughed, "I'll make you food."

"Well, that was the deal," Chloe said, crossing her arms over her chest, while looking at Beca expectingly.

* * *

><p>"Wow, someone really likes sandwiches."<p>

Chloe looked up, having the sandwich Beca made her still in her hands, with a mouthful she blushed.

"Too cute," Beca voiced.

Chloe swallowed the food as her cheeks were rosy, "Where did you learn to make such good sandwiches?"

Beca shrugged, "I'm just good at everything I do," she voiced.

Chloe pursed her lips at the smug words and took another bite. Some of the mustard from the sandwich being left on the corner of her mouth. Beca smirked and decided not to say anything. But Chloe noticed the sly smile and stopped eating, "I have something on my face, don't I?"

Beca shook her head, "No."

Chloe narrowed her eyes and wiped her mouth, "I have something on my face and you won't tell me. What kind of girlfriend do I have myself here?"

_Girlfriend._ Beca tried not to break out into a beaming smile hearing that. It's still crazy to her that Chloe is actually _her_ girlfriend.

"A wonderful girlfriend that makes you the best sandwiches on this earth, my dear."

"Ah, I take that back then, my sandwich queen," Chloe quipped.

Beca smirked and then snorted at a memory, "Remember when you used to bring animal crackers to school everyday?"

Chloe smiled and her face softened, "Aw, yeah. Those things were my favorite."

Beca nodded, "Oh, I know. I remember when I took one from you and you smacked me across the face."

Chloe laughed, "Oh my God, I did not! You must've done something else to provoke my five year old self."

Beca opened her mouth in mock, "Are you calling me a liar?"

Chloe shrugged and began to clean up her mess. Beca smirked as she watched Chloe stand and throw the paper plate away. As Chloe walked back over to the table, Beca grabbed her by the front ties of her sweatpants, "I am not a liar."

Chloe giggled, "You lie like a rug."

"I do not," Beca stated, standing up so she was sort of face to face with Chloe, despite the small height difference.

"I'm telling you, Becs," Chloe began, setting her hands on Beca's, "You must've-" and then she felt Beca's hands creep up her shirt, then start to tickle her stomach, "Beca," she warned, which only got a large smirk.

"I'm not a lair," Beca stated, continuing to torture Chloe.

Chloe started giggling, swatting Beca's hands away, she began to break out of it, but was only pulled back. Beca pushed Chloe on the couch and began tickling her legs. Chloe had always been super ticklish on her knees.

"Beca!" Chloe yelped, swatting at Beca's hands.

"I'm not a liar," the brunette said once again.

Chloe bit her lip and kept giggling, "Okay! Okay!"

"Say it!"

"You're not a liar, Beca!"

Beca came to a halt, letting her hands creep up to Chloe's hips, "I may just have to tickle you every time I want something out of you."

Chloe took large breaths trying to compose herself, "Please don't."

Beca smirked, "You don't like when I tickle you?"

"Oh, I love it. So much, Beca," she deadpanned.

"In that case," Beca leaned back down, running her hands up Chloe's thighs.

Then there was a knock at the door, "You expecting someone?" Chloe asked.

Beca shook her head, she stood up and walked up to the door. Looking through the peephole, she froze. She looked back to Chloe, "Give me a minute," she opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Beca," Ethan Mitchell spoke.

"Seriously? Why are you here?"

"I just want to have a quick chat," Ethan stated.

Beca knitted her eyebrows, "You couldn't have called?"

"I wanted to talk to you in person" Ethan stated, "It's pretty big. Can I come inside?"

"No," Beca stated, crossing her arms, "Just tell me right here."

He huffed, "I'm getting married in June."

Beca's jaw hung, "_What_? Why? What the hell? You're like, fifty-five! Why are you getting married? What's the point? And in three months?"

"Beca, see, this is why I wanted to talk to you inside. I knew how you would react-"

Beca shook her head, "Is it with _her_? You're really going to marry her? Why now?"

"It's not," he began, "Its not Katharine. I don't know why you still refer to her as 'her'."

Beca scoffed, "What was I supposed to refer the women who my Dad cheated on my Mom with?"

Ethan sighed, "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Not a chance in hell," Beca hissed.

"Holding grudges is never a good thing," he voiced.

Beca held a tight lip as he began to speak again, "Anyway, her name is Emily. And she's really nice, she's.. younger and has a fifteen year old daughter."

"How young is she?"

He swayed his body, "Late thirties."

Beca nodded, "Where did you find her?"

"That doesn't really matter-"

"Uh, like hell it doesn't matter."

Ethan huffed, "We met on a blind date."

Beca chortled as she crossed her arms, "Wow."

He nodded, "You're invited. And you can bring someone if you'd like. I don't know if you're even dating or what."

Beca nodded and had a completely blank face. She was trying to push the overwhelming sadness she has rising through her away.

"Have you been talking to Chloe? Her parents have been asking me if I know anything," he paused, "They really want her to visit them."

Beca took a breath, "I have, yeah. We're," she contemplated telling him. If she lied and said their still friends, she knew everything would backfire at one point, "We're actually, uh, kind of.. together."

"Together?" He repeated, almost like he was trying to figure what the word ensued, "as in relationship?"

Beca nodded, "Yeah."

"Oh," Ethan said slowly, "Wow."

Beca swayed on her heels.

"Is she with you right now?" Ethan asked.

"She is. I'll tell her you stopped by, now just send me the wedding invitation and I'll get right on it. Really nice talking with you, Dad," Beca quipped.

"You still have my number?"

Beca nodded.

"Can we all have lunch tomorrow? You can bring Chloe," he offered.

"Tomorrow isn't a good day. Chloe has therapy," she spoke.

"Oh," he said, "How about Tuesday? Or would dinner be better?"

Beca shrugged, then let her hand cup her neck, "Yeah, I think I'm sick that day."

Ethan shook his head, "Can you be serious for one damn minute?"

"Well," Beca said, "I'm not sure either of us even _want_ to go."

"Oh, come on, Beca."

Beca groaned, "Fine. I'll talk to her about it."

He nodded, "I look forward to seeing you two then."

Beca curtly nodded and he began to walk away with a small wave. Beca eyed him, wondering what goes through his mind sometimes. _Doesn't speak to me for years and then he shows up expecting everything to be just fine._ She opened the door and walked back in, seeing Chloe looking towards her, "Who was that?"

Beca shook her head, "No one."

Chloe stood and walked up to her, "Obviously it was someone. You were talking pretty loud."

"My Dad," Beca muttered.

Chloe nodded, crossing her arms, she said, "What did he say?"

"Nothing important," Beca mumbled.

Chloe sighed, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, its stupid," Beca stated, walking into her room as Chloe followed hastily behind her.

"Why won't you tell me?" Chloe asked.

Beca walked into her bathroom, then back out, "It's nothing important."

Chloe began to get frustrated. Beca was always there for her. She was more than whiling to listen when Chloe was upset. And Beca _is_ upset. Her forehead is tensed, her mouth is tight, and she's chewing on the inside of her cheek like it's the last meal she will ever have. Beca never once complained when Chloe had a problem. And now, Chloe wants to help Beca, and she won't even utter a word of what happened. She stood for a great deal of time as Beca sat on her bed, looking down.

"Do you not trust me?"

Beca looked up, she opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Chloe began speaking again, "Because," she paused and sat down next to Beca, "even though I have a hell of a lot more problems than you, doesn't mean I'm not here when you need someone."

Beca nodded, "Of course I trust you. It's nothing-"

"Stop saying it's nothing important!" Chloe hissed, "you're upset, Beca."

Beca was surprised at the way Chloe was speaking. She spoke with such intensity it took her back, "I just don't want to talk about it," she firmly stated.

"Fine," Chloe said under her breath, "I should go."

"No, you don't have to-"

"I don't want to fight, so I'm going to leave," Chloe stated.

"We aren't fighting," Beca said.

"Well, whatever this is, I don't want it at the moment," Chloe stated, turning around to walk out.

"Chloe, you can't do that," Beca voiced as she followed.

"Do what?" Chloe sibilated.

"Leave every time we have a problem," Beca said as they reached the door.

"And you can't expect me to be open with you, and then you close yourself off," Chloe stated.

"That's not fair."

"How?"

"Because.. Chloe, you're being so frustrating!" Beca yelled with a whine laced through.

"Well, I'm sorry that I want to help you!" Chloe yelled back.

"And you're helping by leaving because I don't want to talk about it?"

"Beca, you didn't want to tell me whatever it is that made you so upset in the first place," Chloe stated, rather calmly.

Beca continued to look down, away from Chloe. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her, it was that she wasn't interested in talking about it at all. She didn't want to express how she felt about the situation because she felt like it was pointless, "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Are you fucking with me or something?" Chloe hissed.

Beca shook her head slowly, not exactly knowing what to say.

"So, explain to me why when I tried to kill myself and you came the next day, why you went on this whole, huge monologue about how I'm supposed to trust you, and, and tell you everything that's going on in my head, when I myself can't even understand it. And you can't tell me this? Do you know how hard it is for me to open myself up now? But look, I'm doing it. I tell you everything. I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning after you called me because Peanut scared the shit out of me when I got out of bed. I called you right after because I knew you would listen to me."

Beca only looked down at the words.

Chloe pursed her lips and gulped, "And you're always there. You always listen and you know how shitty it is to feel bad about that?" she yelled.

Beca looked up and saw the hurt in Chloe's eyes that she wouldn't talk to her. She let out at exasperated breath.

"It's the worst. It's the worst feeling in the world to have someone there for you at all times and then feel bad about it. You have no clue how hard it is for me to accept that you're not going to just get tired of my stupid shit and leave me," Chloe explained, "you have no fucking idea, Beca."

Beca huffed and turned around momentarily, "You know why I want you to tell me everything? Because I'm scared that if I don't know everything that's going on, that one day I'll get that same damn phone call from the hospital, but this time they'll be telling me you're dead," she voiced shakily, "and I won't even of been able to help you."

Chloe gulped, "I get that, Beca. But you can't be the strong one all the time. Sometimes you just _need_ to be comforted."

"Well, you're not the strong one so someone has to be," Beca stated.

Chloe couldn't even bring herself to be hurt because of how true the statement was.

"We had sex," Chloe quivered, "Do you know how hard it was for me for you to see me naked? Do you know how hard it was for me to open myself up like that?"

"If you weren't ready-"

"No," Chloe stated, "That's not what I'm saying. I was ready. I wanted it. I wanted you to touch me like you did, and love me the way you loved me last night. I wanted to do the same for you. And I may be out of place saying this, but I'm not going to be the only one opening myself up here."

"Chloe, what if I just don't want to tell you?" Beca shot out.

"You don't-you don't want to?" Her face looked hurt as she repeated the words.

Beca paced, "That's not what I meant."

"Well, what do you mean?" Chloe asked quietly.

"I don't know how to," Beca quivered, continuing to pace, "This is just some little problem and I don't see he point in dwelling on my feelings."

"This is more than just right now, Beca," Chloe stated, "I'm talking about all the time. I mean, you seriously can't expect me to tell you everything, and then you tell me nothing?"

Beca shook her head, "Can we just drop it?"

"Consider it dropped," Chloe stated. She turned back around and tried to leave, but Beca stopped her.

"You can't leave," Beca said with slight desperation.

Chloe looked down, "I just want you to talk to me."

Beca sighed, "It's hard."

"I know," Chloe said, "But, I want to help you, too"

"It's hard for me.. It's just hard to talk about how I feel. You know that."

Chloe nodded, "I know that you used to be more open with me than now, too."

"It's different now," Beca mumbled.

Chloe nodded, "I-I'm sorry."

Beca shook her head, "It's not your fault. I just don't want to make you feel overwhelmed with my problems."

Chloe reached for Beca's hand and sat them down on the couch, "I know you want to be here for me in every way you can, but telling me when you're upset, is totally okay. And it's not going to overwhelm me."

After a moment of feeling Chloe stare at her, Beca said, "He's getting married and I don't know.. I shouldn't be upset, but I am."

"It's okay to be upset," Chloe spoke. Her demeanor had greatly changed once she heard how dejected Beca's words were, "I'd be upset."

Beca shook her head slightly and shrugged, "I feel stupid for being so.. so sad," she stated, a few stray tears prickled her eyes, "It's not like it matters."

"It does matter," Chloe said, she brought Beca into her, making the girl rest her head on her own chest. Beca let Chloe hold her. It was comforting and a change of pace for the two of them.

"I hate that I wish he would've told me earlier. I hate that I wish I was actually apart of it," Beca sniffled, "God, I just hate him but at the same time he's my Dad.. And I love him."

"Hey," Chloe gently said, she lifted Beca's head and wiped her tears, "It's okay to feel bad. Don't beat yourself up over this."

Beca's lips curled into a frown and she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry for crying."

Chloe's face softened as Beca laid her head back down, tightening her grip around her, "Don't be sorry at all. I've done my fair share of crying on your chest, so now it's your turn."

Beca chuckled tearily. She felt Chloe's chest rise and fall like normal and her arms were securely wrapped around her. And Beca had never felt this safe. Chloe's arms were like coming home from a long vacation and finally getting to sleep in your own bed. Chloe's embrace was something along the lines of not knowing you could miss something you never truly had.

"You should let me do this more often," Chloe whispered.

Beca smiled up at her, "It's nice."

Chloe ran her fingers along Beca's back as the girl continued to lay on her chest, "It is. Sometimes the strong ones need to be held, too."

Beca looked up at Chloe, "You know what's weird?"

"Hm?"

"We fight."

Chloe half smiled, "How so?"

Beca moved so they were both against the couch, "We never used to fight."

Chloe nodded, letting her body mesh with Beca's, "Yeah, it's like once we said I love you, we became a huge mess."

Beca laughed, "Well, I wouldn't say that, but yes."

Chloe smiled, "You're cute when you cry."

"Shut up," she slightly pouted.

Chloe gently ran her thumb along Beca's jutted out lip, "It's cute. Even cuter when you pout."

"It is not," Beca stated, slightly bringing her lip in.

"Its so cute. Your face scrunches up, your lip juts out and you look like a little puppy," Chloe cooed.

Beca sighed, "I am not cute. You're the cute one, dude."

"Dude?" Chloe smirked, "Well dude, I happen to think you're quite adorable all the time."

Beca shook her head, "Whatever."

Chloe smiled, happy with herself for getting Beca to agree.. even if it was just a whatever.

* * *

><p>The two laid on the couch, not saying much, giving each other small pecks here and there. They staid like that for a while in silence until Beca spoke up, "Your parents want to see you."<p>

Chloe tensed, "Did he say that?"

Beca nodded, "He said they ask about you a lot."

"Oh," Chloe said, "My therapist he did say it would be good to visit family."

"Maybe we could visit them?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded, "You would go with me?"

"If you want me to. They only live, what? Like, an hour and a half away now?"

"Yeah," Chloe mumbled, "Around that."

Beca nodded, "Well, you should call them and set up a time."

Chloe nodded. Then it got quiet again for a while. The only sounds being the steady breathing of the two.

"We're invited."

Chloe nodded as Beca continued, "On Tuesday, he wants us to have dinner with them."

"Them?" Chloe asked.

"My Dad, the fiancé and her daughter."

"Oh," Chloe said, "That's fine."

Beca sat up, "It should be a great time."

Chloe laughed, "The best," she smiled and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to Beca's lips, "I should probably get going. Gotta make sure Amy took good care of Peanut."

Beca nodded, "You nervous for therapy tomorrow?"

Chloe shrugged, "Not excited."

The two stood and Chloe got all her stuff together. They began walking to the door, "You sure you don't want me to walk with you?"

Chloe nodded, "Unless you want me to beg you to stay the night."

Beca smirked, "I'll stay if you want me to."

"Oh, I want you to," Chloe voiced as she opened the door, "but Amy will probably hound you with questions."

Beca laughed, "I'm okay with that as long as she doesn't ask about.. you know.."

Chloe blushed and they walked out to door. The two absently joined their hands as they began walking.

"Did I ever tell you that when I first met her, she asked if we were a couple and then went on to tell me that if she ever heard any "lady noises" one night, that she would root for me?"

Chloe sighed, "I wouldn't put it past her."

It wasn't until then that Chloe noticed Beca's strong facade wasn't being used as highly anymore.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 - Oppositional**

"Ready?"

Chloe looked up, hearing the nurses words. She glanced over at Beca, who was sitting in the waiting room. Trying to rid of the nervous thumping in her chest, she smiled curtly and nodded, then followed the nurse back just like she did last week. Once inside the room she sat down and began to observe it. The walls were white, the pictures in the room made her almost want to laugh at just how fake they seemed. She wasn't sure if they were family of the doctor or what.

Smiling kids and adults who looked oblivious. Oblivious to why people are in really this room. They seemed to look happy, but Chloe had this feeling they genuinely weren't. It made her feel worse that she doesn't feel or look that happy all the time; she can only assume that that's how most feel. Then the door opened and the therapist from last week walked in with a warm smile, "Hello, Chloe."

"Hi," she softly said.

"How have you been this passed week?" He sat down at his desk.

Chloe's stomach was twisting and turning as her nervous heart beat out of time. She took some shaky breaths as she thought about her answer, "I've been good. I've been doing fine with the medicine, besides the tiredness," Chloe mused as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. Taking another glance around the room she said, "I'm not as jittery. I actually noticed that I don't shake my legs anymore. And oh, I don't freak out as much in public now."

"Oh, good. Yeah, nervous habits tend to dwindle with the medication," he stated as he clasped his hands together, laying them on his desk, "Now, this second session I'm going to teach you different techniques on how to calm yourself down during an attack of any kind. And also how to resolve the symptoms leading up."

Chloe nodded, letting him launch into whatever he was going to say. She tried to listen, but her mind kept drifting off to Beca. Beca and how they fought. It was fine. They were fine. But, Chloe knew her girlfriend was still very hurt about the news. It seemed natural to be upset that he only told her three months before the said day. And Beca was confused with herself because one, she has convinced herself she hates her Dad. She has told herself time and time again, that Ethan Mitchell was nothing to her. And now, with this new found information, she is heartbroken. And she can't pin point just why.

Chloe heard him explain some tips here and there about attacks, she nodded each time he paused, trying to make it seem like she was listening. At one point her hearing tuned in when she heard him say something about meditation. She almost laughed as she thought about Beca meditating with her. How bored the brunette would get. Then she would complain about being either hungry or sleepy.

Chloe was still slightly sick to her stomach, and her hands felt clammy. Before she knew it the second session was over and she was walking out of the room down the hall, met with Beca waiting for her. With a small smile, she walked up. Beca engulfed her with a large hug, that made all of the recent therapy troubles wash away. And Chloe couldn't have felt more safe in this terrible place.

* * *

><p>Ten times. Ten different times has Chloe tried to calm Beca down. And that's just counting the walk to the restaurant. Apparently, Beca's father, his fiance and her daughter are staying in the city for a while. They were meeting at a pretty fancy restaurant, which bothered Beca, because a) What's the point and b) what's the point.<p>

"Beca," Chloe cooed, trying to unclasp their hands, "You're-ow- you're kind of hurting me."

Beca turned her head, tightening her grip on Chloe's small hand even more, "What?"

Chloe winced, "Your hand, Becs."

"Oh," she loosened her grip, "Sorry."

"It's okay," they continued walking hand in hand. Once Chloe was aware that they were close, being that they were coming into a nicer part of the city, she kept glancing at Beca. The brunette was visibly tense and her eyes were narrowed. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek, which Chloe knew she did while nervous or upset. Just before they walked inside the restaurant, Chloe stopped them near the door, but out of the way, "Hey," she cooed, bringing their interlocked hands up, she set her spare hand on the top of theirs, "I love you, okay? And everything is going to go just fine. I'm sure they're very nice people."

Beca nodded, "Just nervous, you know? The last one wasn't nice."

"I know," Chloe said, "You'll be fine."

"What if she hates me?" Beca asked, "what if the kid hates me?"

Chloe giggled, "I don't think they will hate you."

Beca sighed, "What if they do? What if they are homophobic or something? My Dad doesn't care, but what if they do?"

"Beca," Chloe said softly, sensing just how scared Beca really was, she dropped their hands and set hers on Beca's shoulders comfortingly, "If they say anything that doesn't change a thing. You know that. I love you and you love me and just because one person doesn't approve, doesn't stop the love we have for one another."

"I know. I know it doesn't, but I'm nervous," Beca whined.

Chloe nodded, dropping her hands and grabbing Beca's, she said, "Let's just get it over with."

Beca sighed, "Maybe it's not too late to cancel?"

Chloe chuckled, "We're already here and I'm hungry, so let's just go in and face your fears."

Beca nodded and the two walked inside, not so sure if the party was there or not, but when Chloe felt Beca tense around her hand again, she knew they must have been. Chloe followed Beca's gaze and saw the three sitting at table with two empty seats, presumably for them. The restaurant was fancy, and if the two are being honest, they felt under dressed. Chloe was wearing the nicest lacy red dress she had, with a black blazer she recently bought, along with black heels. While Beca as well was wearing a black dress (Chloe insisted) and a leather jacket with boots.

"After this I'm going to need a drink," Beca whispered to Chloe as they walked over to the table. Chloe giggled, leaning into Beca's ear, she said, "It's on me."

Beca snorted and they reached the table quicker than she hoped. She gave a curt smile to her father, who was seemed very happy to see them. They glanced at the other two brunette women. The elder was staring at their connected hands. Chloe only tightened the grip.

"Hello, Beca, Chloe," Ethan stood.

Chloe smiled, "Hi."

He turned his body towards the other two women at the table, "This is Emily and Brooke," he stated with a smile.

"Nice to meet you, both," Emily said.

"You too," they each said.

Beca wanted to hate this women, but she looked too nice. Her smile was like Chloe's, able to light up a room. But, unlike Chloe, Beca wanted to scowl at her each time she saw the grin.

"And you're, Chloe.. the-her girlfriend?"

Beca narrowed her eyes. The woman seemed so unsure of it. She sounded as if they didn't even know themselves that they're together.

Chloe smiled, "That's me. It's nice to meet you."

Emily smiled, then introduced her daughter, "This is Brooke."

The teenager smiled curtly, seemingly not too amused she said, "Nice to meet you," looking between the two.

"You too," Chloe said. They both just smiled and continued to stand awkwardly for a moment. After what seemed like a forever of awkward silence, Emily said, "Sit, sit."

Beca and Chloe sat down, dropping each other's hands. Beca next to her Dad, as Chloe sat next to Beca and Emily. Thankfully, it was a round table.

"So," Ethan spoke up, "How have you two been?" he directed towards Beca and Chloe. She looked towards Beca, setting her hand around her lower thigh, "Good, we're good. How are you?"

Beca nodded and cracked a smirk at Chloe's nervous words and her loving hand.

Ethan smiled, "Great."

Then it was silent. An awkward, weird silence due to the chatter of the restaurant and the quietness of the table. No one made eye contact besides the respected couples for many moments. Beca wanted to just stand up with Chloe and walk out like nothing ever happened because this was so damn awkward. Not seeing her Dad for years, then suddenly being at dinner with his fiance and her daughter. Weird.

"Well, I know this is strange for you," Emily directed towards Beca, "It must be hard. But, I would like to get to know you and your friend, here. You both seem lovely."

Chloe curtly smiled at the use of "friend", then looked at her nervous girlfriend.

"What do you want to know?" Beca quipped taking a sip of water.

Chloe closed her eyes momentarily, she wanted to laugh at how serious Beca sounded, but how she meant it sarcastically. She opted tightening her grip around Beca's leg, running her thumb over the skin. Emily opened her mouth to reply and hung it momentarily, "Where do you two work?"

Beca shifted, "I uh, own a night club. With one of my friends. He uh, he was nice enough to let me take the night off again for this."

"And you?" Emily asked Chloe.

"Oh, I work at a law office-"

"You're a lawyer?" Emily and Ethan asked simultaneously, "How nice! I'm a lawyer."

"Oh, no," Chloe said, "I'm not-no. I'm like, an assistant. I file papers, and sometimes I get Aubrey, the girl I work for, I get her coffee."

Emily nodded, "Oh, I see."

Chloe nodded and looked down at the table. And then it was quiet again until they ordered their drinks.

"So," Ethan began with a small smile, "Are you guys serious about your relationship?"

Beca nodded, looking towards Chloe, "We are. Very serious about it," Beca stated.

"Do you two see a future?" Emily asked skeptically.

Beca was now the taken back one. She had just meant this women and now she's questioning her relationship?

"A future as in what?" Beca asked, taking another sip of water. She felt like this was the only thing keeping her from exploding. It was something to keep her busy.

"You know, kids and marriage?" Emily stated.

Beca nodded and looked to Chloe again, "We're not thinking about that at the moment, but uh," Beca smiled, "I would want that with her."

The two nodded. Emily with a cunningly fake smile and Ethan with a seemingly genuine one, "Can I ask what happened to your-your," Emily gestured to her own neck.

"Oh," Chloe mumbled, cupping her neck. Beca shook her head, "It's kind of a long story and I don't think it's very appropriate to talk about that."

Chloe nodded, "It's just.. I'd rather not explain it."

Emily nodded with a curt smile, letting her eyes linger on Chloe's neck. After another flawless awkward silence, Ethan took a sip of his drink and said, "How are you really doing, then?"

Beca looked up, "What do you mean? She said she was fine, Dad."

"Yes, yes," he paused, looking up at Emily, then to Beca and Chloe, "But.. aren't you depressed?"

Chloe nodded, taking a moment before she replied, "I am, yes. But, that doesn't mean I can't be fine. Depression is more than just an emotion. It's a state of being," Chloe stated. She remembered reading that somewhere so she spewed it out. The two looked at her like she didn't know what depression was. Each giving her this contorted look of confusion. Chloe started to shake her leg absently due to nerves. Beca noticed, this time she set her own hand on Chloe's knee, trying to halt the movements.

"You know what I think of it as?" Beca asked the table.

They looked at her, letting her go on. Chloe had her head hung, she wasn't sure what Beca would say and she was nervous for the words.

"I think of Chloe's depression as a weight, not the metaphorical kind on your shoulders, but like metaphorical lifting weights. It's like lifting real weights. It weighs down her muscles when she's not strong enough. Sometimes she feels numb because they're too much for her that day. And some days that's fine. Recovery is all about that. Some days she needs to take the day and just not do anything. The other day she slept for twelve hours because she needed it. And some days shes not being weighed down, some days she's strong and lifting those said weights are no match for her," Beca paused, looking at her father and Emily, passing by Brooke as she felt Chloe's eyes boring into the side of her head. Carefully she ran her next works through her mind before saying them, "Every day is a different roller coaster ride, and everyday is something new. But everyday I get to wake up next to her and see her smile that shy smile towards me, I know that she is okay. She may not be the old Chloe I've always known. She is a totally different person, but I know she's okay. And just because she is depressed, doesn't mean she is emotionless. She has bad days and good days, just like everyone else. And I love her no matter what kind of day it is."

Ethan and Emily nodded, not seeming like they knew just what to say as Brooke smiled at the two. Beca was certainly surprised with herself, but Chloe was honestly amazed Beca spilled all of those words out. Her heart beat was booming inside her chest and all she wanted to do was surge forward and kiss Beca and tell her just how much she loved her.

* * *

><p>After they all ordered their drinks and food, they aimlessly talked about nothing. There was an obvious elephant in the room. The way Emily glanced up at the two of them, then Ethan, was uncomfortable to say the least.<p>

"So, are you two going to be at the wedding as.. dates? Or?" Emily asked as the table was cleared.

"Well," Beca began glancing at Chloe, "Since I'm invited, and I get to bring someone, it would make sense if I brought the person I'm with..."

"So, yes," Chloe finished with.

"Oh," Emily voiced.

Beca nodded as Chloe shifted in her seat. It was awkward. And it felt like they were suddenly unwelcomed because of this seemingly new article of information.

"Well, that's great," Ethan smiled, "Everyone always knew you two had something more."

Chloe smiled happily, glancing at Beca who had her signature smirk etched on.

"I was wondering if maybe-maybe you could bring a guy?" Emily directed towards Beca.

Ethan furrowed his eye brows, "Why would she?"

"Well, I just don't want any controversy. You understand, right?" Emily said.

"There won't be any," Ethan stated firmly.

"It's just a suggestion," Emily said, "we talked about this, Ethan."

"Yes, we did! And I said she could bring whoever she wanted. Man or woman."

Emily turned to Chloe, completely disregarding what he just said, "You understand don't you, hun?"

Chloe looked to Beca, then down, not knowing what to say, so she looked at her hands. Beca tilted her head to the side, getting annoyed at this women's antics, she sat up straight and said, "If you don't want me there, you can just say it."

"No, that's not it at all," Emily reassured.

"Well, if you don't want Chloe to be there, then I don't want to be there," Beca stated angrily, taking out some money and set it on the table, grabbed Chloe's hand and they hastily walked out. Emily looked at Ethan apologetically as Brooke smirked, "I like them."

* * *

><p>"Beca, calm down," Chloe said as they walked.<p>

Beca's jaw was clenched and her hand was gripping Chloe's with all her might, "Okay, I know you're mad, but you're hurting me."

"I'm sorry," Beca breathed out, loosing her grip.

"Don't worry about anything she said," Chloe voiced.

Beca huffed, "Who the fuck does she think she is? Seriously? I knew I wasn't going to like her."

Chloe nodded as they continued to walk, "I think Brooke was sweet. And your Dad was great for sticking up for you."

Beca scoffed, "Brooke's got a bitch for a Mother."

Chloe chuckled, sucking in a breath, she said, "You know.. if you would feel more comfortable with taking a guy, I have someone at work who would be up for it."

Beca laughed, "No, thanks. You'll do."

Chloe smile faded as she saw how disheveled Beca appeared, "Anyway, it doesn't matter," Beca breathed out, "My Dads marrying her and that's that."

"He seemed to be happy to see you."

Beca shrugged as they sat down on the small brown bench. It was off to the side on the street as everyone shuffled passed them. They needed a breather and they were far away from home. Chloe sat thigh to thigh with Beca, shyly setting her hand in Beca's bare knee, "That was really sweet what you said," she gently spoke.

Beca shrugged as she smirked at Chloe's timid hand, "It's true."

Chloe smiled, running her thumb over the skin, "I love you," she whispered.

Beca lightly smirked again, bringing Chloe into a hug she said, "I love you, too."

Chloe duked her head into Beca's neck, feeling the brunette tighten her arms around her. Chloe loved hugging Beca. She would never get used to the feeling of Beca's arms securing around her waist, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to because then maybe it wouldn't be _this_ special every time. It was one of the best feelings in the world for her to be connected to Beca like this, "I just can't get over what you said," Chloe whispered in to Beca's neck, "It was so sweet."

Beca laughed, pulling back slightly to get a view of Chloe's face, "Was it really that swoon worthy, Chlo?"

Chloe smiled lightly, she moved Beca's jacket down to where her collarbone was bare. She pressed her lips to the area softly, up to her tender neck, then to her sensitive jaw, not even minding the fact their in public. She didn't care. And if anyone did, she really didn't care right now. She was so incredibly in love at the moment and she needed to show her feelings somehow. Chloe kissed Beca's jaw tenderly,"I almost cried it was so swoon worthy."

Beca smiled at the feeling of Chloe's lips brushing over her skin, then the whispered words that followed. Pressing one more gentle kiss, Chloe turned Beca's head so it was facing her and kissed her , "You are so getting some tonight," she said against Beca's lips. The brunettes mouth fell as Chloe pulled back with a smirk, that soon turned into a mortified look when she fully registered her words, "Oh, I'm so sorry," Chloe rushed out.

The brunette gulped and shook her head, "No! No, I just-just you-wow," Beca breathed out.

"I don't know why I said that," Chloe frowned as she hunched her body over.

"Hey, it's no big deal," Beca reassured with a tiny laugh, "Just surprised me is all."

Chloe blushed, pursing her lips to the side. She looked up at Beca, "Well, why don't we head home?"

Beca slowly nodded, still overly surprised with the words Chloe spoke. The redhead slightly smiled as she grabbed Beca's hand and stood up. As they began to walk, Chloe dropped her hand. Beca's face became red as she felt Chloe's fingers slip behind her leather jacket, and trace the seams of her dress the whole trip home.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 - Family Ties**

The darkness of the small bedroom, the becoming heat of the blankets draped over their bodies, and the quietness that washed over the walls, only added to Chloe's nerves. As she laid her head on Beca's chest, trying her best to fall asleep, she couldn't shake the worry washing over her limbs. Sensing Chloe's tenseness, Beca shifted so instead if being Chloe's pillow, she was facing her.

"What are you thinking about?" Beca whispered, "I can practically see your head spinning."

Chloe softly smiled. She had always loved how well Beca could read her and tell if something was off. Huffing gently as she decided not to beat around the bush, she said, "Tomorrow."

"Ah," Beca said, she tucked the red locks behind Chloe's ear that weren't even out of place and continued to run her hand through Chloe's hair, "I wouldn't worry."

"What if-what if when we go and... and they see me, and how different I am... and how much I've changed... what if, I don't know, Beca. What if they... what if they're disappointed?"

"Chlo, you're parents are probably thrilled you're going to visit," Beca gently spoke.

"I'm nervous," Chloe whispered.

"I know," Beca whispered back, "but, you'll be fine. I'll be there, and were only going for one night."

Chloe nodded against the pillow, tightening the blankets around her body she scooted closer to Beca as she dug her head into her side, "You better be right."

* * *

><p>Around noon the next day, the two girls were heading up to Chloes parents'.<p>

"My dad texted me this morning."

"Really?"

It had been about a week since the dinner, and her dad hadn't gotten in contact with her since then, and she was beginning to think she would never hear from him again at this rate,"He apologized. And what's even more hilarious," she paused, keeping her eyes trained on the road ahead of her, she huffed, "he wants me to have dinner with just her."

Chloe's mouth parted slightly as she looked at Beca intently, trying to get an understanding of how she felt, "Just her?"

Beca nodded as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel, "How stupid is that?"

Chloe lightly shrugged. Beca glimpsed at Chloe, then back to the road, then once again to Chloe, "You agree?"

"No," Chloe reassured, "But, maybe it would be a good idea to just talk to her."

"I'd rather lick a spider."

"Fine," Chloe laughed, "But I'd really like to see you lick that spider."

* * *

><p>"You look like you're about to puke."<p>

"I am."

Beca glanced towards Chloe worriedly. If she vomited in this car, it would cost loads to help with the stains. Not to mention the acrid smell that comes along with it, "Wait, really?"

Chloe chuckled, "No, just nervous."

Beca nodded, relieved, she pulled onto the street of Chloe's parents.

"Beca," Chloe said shakily, "I'm actually really fucking scared."

"I promise you, everything will be okay," Beca assured as they pulled up to the house. Chloe looked out the window as she took in the house, "I can't do this."

Beca got out of the car and walked over to Chloe's side, opening the door, she kneeled in front of her, "You're going to go in there and they will be so happy to see you, Chlo. They're your family. They love you no matter what."

Chloe half smiled, then took a breath, "You're the best for coming with me."

Beca smirked, "I know. Now, kiss me so we can go inside."

Chloe laughed, pecking Beca's lips she got out of the car and they began to take their over night bags out. As they walked up to the house, the front door open and a little strawberry blonde girl came running out.

"Chloe is here!"

Chloe looked to Beca and nervously half smiled as the girl jumped into her arms, "You're Chloe."

Chloe smiled, "I am Chloe," she said, a little shakily, "And you're Clare, right?"

"Yes, I'm Clare!" she turned her head towards Beca, "you are Chloe's best-friend."

Beca smiled, "I am."

Chloe had a lazy smile on her face while the little girl hugged her tightly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she reveled in the adorable moment until she heard her brothers voice.

"Welcome home, Chlo."

Her eyes shot open and they absently trickled with small tears. Chloe had been incredibly close with her brother, Adam, and to hear his comforting voice after almost six years, was something she couldn't explain. Clare wiggled out of her arms and ran into the house, pulling Beca along with her.

"Hey," Chloe breathed out. She stared at him in disbelief as she took it everything. His auburn hair, blue eyes, the prominent freckles he sported, "Hey," she whispered again, her lip trembled as he wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Chloe tightened her arms around him, "I missed you so much."

Adam set his chin on Chloe's head, "I missed you, too," they hugged for a few more moments until Adam tried to pull away, but Chloe wouldn't let go. He laughed comfortingly, "Why don't we go inside?"

Chloe nodded against his chest, wiping her stray tears. She had one arm wrapped around him as he wrapped one arm around her shoulder. Once they were all inside, with Beca off to the side, as Clare was picked up by her Father as her Mother stood beside them, Chloe's Mom, Grace, was the first to appear. The women had the face of Chloe, but older. Her hair was more of an auburn color like Adams, with slightly tanner skin as her eyes were as strikingly blue as Chloe's were.

"Chloe," Grace cooed.

"Hi, Mom," Chloe said gently.

Her Mother practically ran up to her, engulfing her in a huge hug, "You're so much older."

Chloe chuckled, tightening her arms around her Mother. She had always acquired this warm, home like scent that made Chloe feel insanely safe. Ever since she was young, when she had any problem at all, all her mom would have to do was hug her, and she instantly felt better, "Yeah, I'm not twenty years old anymore."

Her Mom pulled back, but still had her arms around Chloe's shoulders. She brought her arms up and touched her neck and looked at the scar on her forehead. As she touched the scars and her eyes watered, she said, "You look beautiful, sweetheart."

Chloe smiled shyly, "Thank you."

Grace cupped Chloe's cheeks, "God, I just-I'm so happy you finally came to visit," she sniffled.

"Don't cry, Mom. Or I am just going to keep crying," she chuckled.

Grace sniffled again, wiping her tears, "I can't help it," she laughed.

Chloe smiled at her Mom one last time before she let go. She looked at Beca who had a smile on her face, along with her brother and his wife, Olivia. Then her Dad, Richard, came into view and Chloe broke out into a beaming smile.

"Dad!" Chloe yelped happily, she basically jumped into his arms.

"Hey, sweetheart," Richard said, submerging Chloe into a warm hug, as he slightly picked her up, "Your hair is darker."

Chloe giggled, sniffling she nodded, "It was brown for a while, too," she hugged him tightly. After Chloe got reacquainted with her family, hugging them all a few more times and talking for a little while, Grace spoke up as they all stood in the living room, "Why don't you and Beca," she beamed towards the brunette, "why don't you two go get yourselves comfortable in the guest room, and then we can all have dinner?"

Beca nodded, gripping her bag, she took Chloe's for her and the two were guided to the spare room by Chloe's Mom, as the rest stayed in the living room, "You two can relax for a little while alone if you'd like. I know sitting in a car for almost two hours is tiring," Grace stated as they entered.

Beca nodded, "Thank you for letting me stay."

Grace smiled, "Of course, Beca. You know you're always welcome!"

Chloe hugged her Mom one more time before the women left the two alone.

"You don't seem so nervous anymore," Beca stated.

"I'm more nervous about Amy watching Peanut," Chloe smiled, "I never realized just how much I missed them. It feels almost like no time has passed. Except for the fact everyone looks older."

Beca smiled and walked over to Chloe, who was leaning against the dresser, looking at the pictures. There was a few older ones that she recognized, then some new that she didn't. One in particular that stuck out to her, was one of her and Beca. It was surprising to her that her Mother placed it here. It was probably ten years old. Chloe had her arms wrapped around a unconvincingly frowning Beca as the two of them sat in Chloe's old backyard. It seemed to be the middle of summer, since Chloe was dressed in a light purple summer dress, with her red locks tied back. Beca wore her usual torn jeans and a plain t-shirt that was constantly sported back then.

"You look adorable," Chloe mumbled, still raking her eyes over the nostalgic photo.

"You look beautiful," Beca stated as she looked at the side of Chloe's face.

Chloe laughed, "I look like I'm trying to squeeze you to death."

Beca smirked, "You probably were."

Chloe scoffed as she turned to face the brunette. She smiled softy once she saw the brunette doing the same to her, she then tuned back to the pictures, "Clare was so happy to see you. You haven't met her before, right?" Beca said, pressing a small kiss to the nape of Chloe's neck. Chloe shook her head, she turned around and let her hands grip Beca's shoulders, "She's only four."

Beca smiled slyly, "Well, maybe they talk about you a lot. You are pretty great."

Chloe shook her head as she looked down. Beca ran her thumbs along the dip of Chloe's back she said, "You told them everything, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Chloe mumbled, relaxing into Beca's touch, "I told my Mom everything, almost, and she told my Dad and brother. I think Olivia knows. But Clare just thinks I've been busy in the city."

"What haven't you told them?" Beca asked gently.

"Just the physical stuff," Chloe said, "but that's pretty obvious now."

Beca nodded, "Your neck, right?"

Chloe gulped, "Yeah, and then the forehead scar. Along with the one on my head. My Mom looked like she was about to sob when she saw them," she sighed, "I'm just glad you're here with me."

Beca smiled, "Of course," she whispered, leaning her head to the side to kiss Chloe's jaw tenderly.

"I think we should go back downstairs," Chloe whispered, loving the sensation Beca's lips brought upon her. Beca hummed, kissing Chloe's jaw one more time, "You're right."

Chloe let out a breath, "Maybe.. maybe just kiss me a little and then we can go."

"That I can do," Beca mumbled against Chloe's jaw. She lifted her head and ran her thumb along Chloe's bottom lip before kissing her. Something about they way Beca kissed her, made everything come into place. The brunette kissed her with so much apparent love and pure care, it made Chloe feel safe. And every chance she had, Chloe made sure she was kissing Beca. They kissed against the dresser for a few moments until Chloe absently wrapped her arms around Beca's neck, she pushed her self off the dresser, making them stumble a little, before she reconnected their lips.

"Chloe? Beca?" Clare knocked on the door.

"She's so cute," Chloe said as she broke free from Beca and opened the door, seeing the little girl smiling before her.

"Yes?"

"Can you guys play with me while Grandma and Mom cook?"

Chloe looked back to Beca, who nodded,"Sure," Chloe said. The three all walked back downstairs and were greeted kindly by everyone. Beca knows Chloe's family exceptionally well, so this wasn't all that awkward even after all this time. Chloe and Beca sat on the living room couch, as the others were in the the kitchen.

"Can I sit in the middle?" Clare asked Chloe.

"Oh," Chloe said with a nod, "Sure."

Clare sat right in the middle, she turned her body towards Chloe so she was sitting cross legged.

"How old are you?"

Chloe tucked some hair behind her ear, "I'm twenty-five."

"You're old," Clare stated with a scrunch of her nose.

Beca laughed. Chloe turned her head, "We're the same age, Becs."

"I know," Beca said, "that was just funny."

Chloe shook her head jokingly. Beca decided she would try and help in the kitchen, leaving Chloe alone with the young girl.

"You're really pwetty," Clare stated.

Chloe blushed, "Thank you. So are you."

"So is Beca," Clare said.

Chloe nodded, "I think so, too."

"When you guys get married, you can both wear pwetty dwesses!"

Chloe laughed at how excited the little girl was, "That's right."

Clare beamed, "Daddy told me you like little kids. That means you like me!"

Chloe smiled softly. She took a breath, trying not to become too nervous around this four year old child, she said, "Yeah."

"Do you have any kids?"

Chloe shook her head, "I don't."

"Why not?"

Chloe opened her mouth, then closed it a few times. As Clare calmly waited for an answer Chloe didn't know how to give, the redhead sighed, "It's complicated."

Clare nodded, "That's what my Mom said," she sighed.

Chloe slowly nodded, not saying anything else. She fixed her eyes on the ground as Clare started talking again. She didn't realize how long she had zoned out, until Beca was standing in front of her, trying to get her attention.

"Chlo?" Beca said. Chloe snapped her head up, then looked to the side when she realized Clare was no longer beside her.

"You okay?" Beca gently asked. She sighed and nodded her head, "Fine," she whispered. Beca nodded, letting her know dinner was ready, the two walked into the dinning room. As they got situated and began to eat, they all fell into light conversation. Not about anything in particular. Just about recent happenings. Chloe was internally freaking out, though. She felt like something was going to bubble up at any moment and topple her over.

"So, are you back in school, Chloe?"

_And there it was._

Chloe set her fork down, taking a sip of water she slightly shook her head. Her Dad stopped his motions, set his silverware down and looked at her sternly as if they were the only two in the room, "And whys that? You did so well your first year."

Chloe's face went to a deep crimson shade. She fiddled with her fork momentarily before her dad looked at her expectantly. She quickly glanced around at the five other faces in the room looking directly at her. The sight was just enough to send her stomach haywire, her mouth dry and her heart pump rapidly against her chest,"I'm not going back," she mumbled, looking down. Chloe was afraid of this. Her dad was always very strict about school, and what college she would be attending. When she got into NYU, Chloe had never seen her dad happier. And now, with this new information, she was terrified of his reaction.

"What?" Richard yelled. Chloe winced at the noise. Grace set her hand on his forearm to try and reduce whatever may come next. He visibly calmed, "Well will talk about this later."

Chloe nodded sheepishly, as she looked down, she tried her hardest not to break out into nervous breaths. Feeling everyone's eyes still on her as they finished the meal, only made it worse.

* * *

><p>"Chloe," Richard said as the table was cleared, "let's talk outside."<p>

Chloe nodded, this time only looking straight down as she followed her dad outside like a lost puppy. Once they hit the cold, chilly night air, Chloe shuddered as they sat on the outdoor steps.

"Why aren't you going back?"

Chloe huffed. She should've known he wasn't going to beat around the bush. She bobbed her legs up and down quickly, "I feel like it's too late. I'm twenty-five. I shouldn't be going to med school this late. I was thinking of just getting an associates degree in something and then seeing where that takes me."

"I think you should go back."

"Dad-"

"Chloe-"

Chloe winced at the raised inflection. She set her head in her hands momentarily before standing up, "I'm not going back. I'm sorry. I know you're mad, and upset with me. But do you know how mad I am? It sucks, Dad. I hate it. I always wanted to be a doctor and now it's just taken away from me," her voice broke at the end of the sentence, raising her head so the tears wouldn't fall, she said, "Lots of things have changed, and I've slowly been learning to accept it. So I would appreciate it if you could, too."

Richard stood up. Seeing how timid his daughter was looking, he engulfed her in a warm, comforting hug, "I'm sorry for getting angry," he stated. Chloe hugged him back, "It's okay."

* * *

><p>As they walked back inside, they were met with everyone standing in the living room, saying their goodbyes. Chloe said goodbye, hugged her brother, Clare and Olivia. Afterwards, the four all sat back down on the couch and engaged in a meaningless conversation. They chatted about work, life and other things. As the night came to a close, Chloe's parents had decided they were going to go upstairs. Once they were out of the living room, Chloe let out a exasperated sigh, closing her eyes and letting her head hit the back of the couch. This was certainly stressful to say the least. She really enjoyed catching up with everyone and meeting Clare, but all the questions they were throwing at her, made her head spin.<p>

"You did great," Beca stated.

Chloe laughed with a worn out breath as she picked her head up and opened her eyes, "Shut up."

"No, I'm serious," Beca reassured. She set her hands on top of Chloe's and smiled. Chloe closed her eyes again, letting out another huff. As the two sat in the silence of the open living room, exchanging nothing but their own breathing.

"I'm going to take a shower," Chloe mumbled. Beca nodded and the two of them stood up and walked upstairs. Once they got into the spare bedroom, Chloe gathered her necessities for a quick shower and dosed into the adjoining bathroom, leaving Beca alone. It took her about twenty minutes to completely get herself ready for bed, since she was extremely worn out.

Chloe walked back into the room, set all her things down and stood with a tired look drawn upon her face. Taking a few small gulps and breaths as her eyes fluctuated from open to closed, she made her way over to the bed. Beca laughed at the sight, seeing that Chloe was extremely tired, she opened the covers for her and Chloe flopped down.

"You're worn out my little soldier," Beca said gently. Chloe nodded against the pillow, she puffed out a small breath. Letting her body turn slightly on her back, she patted the bare area, signaling she wanted Beca to lay there. She had planned on showering, as well, but she figured helping Chloe sleep was slightly more important. She laid down, letting Chloe curl into her. She soothed her back with gentle circles as she pressed small kisses to her forehead every now and then. As Chloe's breathing steadied against Beca's chest, the brunette decided to get up and take a quick shower.

After she had finished, when she walked back inside, Chloe was no longer there. Deciding she knew where Chloe went, she set her shower essentials down and headed to her destination.

* * *

><p>Chloe was sitting on the cold patio, overlooking nothing. There were a few trees and then the black sky. It reminded her if Arizona, only because in New York, you don't see the sky like you do other places. As she sat, holding her body since she was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, she heard the door open behind her, and felt a warm blanket covering her body.<p>

"It's cold," Beca said as she took a seat next to her.

"Thanks," Chloe whispered. After a moment of silence Chloe turned her head towards Beca. The brunette was looking out like she had previously been doing, admiring the night sky which they rarely got to experience.

"You doing okay?" Beca carefully asked.

Disregarding the question, Chloe said,"You know how people say, 'everything happens for a reason'?"

Beca nodded.

"I don't believe that."

Beca looked towards Chloe, as she looked away. "I don't believe people get cancer to learn life lessons. I don't believe that people kill people because God needed another angel. I don't believe that people grow apart to make room for other, more important people in their life. I don't believe it. I don't believe that I can't have my own children to show me how precious life really is. And I sure as hell don't believe I was raped for three years straight to show me that fucked up shit happens for a reason. Because it doesn't. It just happens. And there's not a damn thing I, or anyone else can do about it."

As Beca listened to the words Chloe spoke, it slightly scared her that she spoke with no emotion. She was completely monotone the whole time. No inflections. No wavering of any words. No nothing.

"Seeing my family today, and seeing how-how much they haven't changed, and how much I have, I don't know. It makes me feel awkward. Like I'm not part of the family anymore," Chloe said quietly, "Seeing Clare, seeing her be so full of life, seeing how happy she was to see me," Chloe shook her head slightly as she narrowed her eyes at the night sky, "I want my own Clare."

Completely getting what Chloe meant, Beca nodded gently in her direction. Chloe tightened the blanket around her body, she looked down at her legs, trying to become transfixed on anything but Beca.

"All those years, I-I was so grateful I couldn't get pregnant," Chloe spoke, "but now I feel like a terrible person for being grateful," Chloe eyes became wet with hot tears. They fell gently down her crimson cheeks as she let out shallow breaths, "I've never hated myself more for feeling that way."

Beca stood up and let out a breath, she kneeled down in front of the redhead and soothingly set her hands on tops of Chloe's, "You have every right to feel the way you do."

"I just want to have my own kids, you know? With someone I love... with you. And I can't even do that," Chloe cried. With her lips in a slight frown and her eyes pouring out tears, she sighed, "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "Clare asked me if I had any kids earlier, and it's been bugging me ever since."

Beca nodded and ran her thumb over Chloe's knuckles, "It's not a problem," she said. The brunette helped Chloe up, running her thumbs under her eyes she kissed her nose and said, "Why don't we try and get some sleep?"

Chloe nodded, so the two quietly walked back inside and made their way back to bed. With thoughts of the unknown events of the next day weaving through Chloe's mind, she laid with her eyes completely open, staring off at nothing as she stayed in Beca's caring embrace.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the errors, I've been extremely busy recently and I really wanted to get this up before things became hectic again. Thanks for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 - The Set Back**

Her chest becoming tighter and tighter, her stomach becoming more and more wishy-washy and the numb feeling that was winning over her limbs was becoming increasingly annoying as she lied on her back, staring up at the white popcorn ceiling.

The dull morning light that was capering over the room elicited a deep sigh from Chloe's lips, knowing that she hadn't slept more than a few hours.

As she turned her head and saw Beca sleeping unknowingly beside her, she couldn't help but let a smile resonate. Taking in a deep, long exhale, she lifted her head, then her torso so she was sitting up. Closing her eyes momentarily as everything began to spin, she took another deep breath before swinging her legs over the bed and gaining composure on her feet.

Making sure she didn't wake Beca, she quietly grabbed an extra throw blanket and wrapped it around her body. She creaked the door open, wincing at the small racket she created, then letting out a relieved breath as she succeeded in quietly shutting the door.

Chloe walked downstairs and into the kitchen to make some coffee. As she was pouring the water into the pot, she heard someone stumbling into the kitchen. Not bothering to turn around, she continued to pour.

"Why are you up so early?"

Upon hearing Beca's hoarse voice that was full of sleep, she smiled. The rough sound and inflections Beca had in the morning made her feel warm inside. Her sleepy voice always sounded as if she was slightly dazed and confused. As she spooned the ground coffee beans out of the container and felt Beca's arms slip around her blanket covered waist, she quietly said, "Couldn't sleep."

Beca nodded and rested her chin on Chloe's shoulder the best she could. Not being able to quite reach it in a comfortable manner, she kissed her shoulder instead, "Your stomach?"

The redhead sighed as she closed the lid of the coffee pot. She turned around, gripping the blanket so it wouldn't fall. Then let it cover both her and Beca. She melted into the embrace, letting her arms wrap around the brunettes small shoulders, "Something like that."

Beca made small, crescent moon shapes on the patch of Chloe's bare hips. Giving her a small smile and gentle peck, she said, "How do you manage to look like this every morning?"

Chloe blushed. She clasped her hands together behind Beca's neck and leaned back, squinting her eyes slightly, "I think you need glasses."

"No, you're just slightly blurry," Beca smirked, her eyes still slightly glossy due to the sleep coma still prevailing.

Chloe shook her head playfully. Just then she saw her mom walking into the kitchen with a wide smile as she eyed the two.

"We are meeting Adam, Olivia and Clare for breakfast in two hours."

They nodded and Beca weakly slipped out from Chloe's embrace as Chloe went to pour them coffee.

* * *

><p>After they all went out for a meal, it was about three when Chloe and Beca decided to head back home. They all said their goodbyes and Clare was exceptionally sad that the two had to leave so soon, but they promised they would come visit again. Chloe felt happy. She had really missed her family, and to see them after so long was amazing. She would definitely try and visit them more often.<p>

* * *

><p>With a jolt, her body was suddenly awake, she sprung up and quickly looked around her room. She felt a thin layer of sweat on her aching forehead and a weird, sticky residue that was left over. Her chest rose quickly and her eyes kept going in and out of focus. Suddenly, a hand was on her leg and she felt her whole body begin to tingle.<p>

"Are you okay?"

It was dark. The room was barely lit. The only light being the dull, iridescent crack of the moon. This 'are you okay' was usually comforting from Beca. Because one, it helps to know that Chloe isn't alone. And two, Beca's soothing voice tends to make Chloe's nerves calm.

At the moment, she doesn't know why it is not.

At the moment, she doesn't know why she can't breathe.

At the moment, she doesn't know why nothing makes sense.

It was like she became numb. Numb to the feel of Beca's hands on her. Her voice became paralyzed when she tried to answer. Her mouth opened to reply, that no she wasn't okay. But nothing was coming out. The words she was trying to say were running through her head, but in more of a roaring sound; like a jet was flying over her. She knew the words that needed to be said, but trying to comprehend them was not an option.

Her head became light as she laid back down, trying to catch her breath, but the pulsing became heavy as she closed her eyes to try and recover from whatever was going on. At one point she felt Beca try and sit her up, instead of laying down. It only made her chest feel tighter. Her arms felt heavy as she tried to lift them to push Beca's caring hands away, they were like a dead weight. As soon as they were lifted, they flopped back down before anything could be done.

Beca continued to try and sit Chloe up right, thinking maybe that would help her. It only increased the feeling of tightness that was now moving into her throat. The pain was starting to increase, but Chloe's voice was caught in her throat, making her unable to tell Beca to stop her actions. Each moment that passed by, Chloe could feel herself losing her breath.

Beca kept asking if she was okay, but Chloe couldn't answer. Her chest was tightening as time passed, causing the repercussions of her breathing to become hoarse and labored. Her hands felt tingly and clammy as her legs felt like jelly. She couldn't feel her body being on the bed, but she knew she was sitting up, with Beca's body next to hers. Her eyes fluctuated from open to closed time after time. Her vision was blurry and each time she closed them she saw spots. Yellow going from red, darting around to green and then the cycle would start again.

After taking shallow breaths, as she gasped for air she managed to croak out a few whimpers, that turned into tears welling up in her closed eyes due to the confusion and fear of not knowing what was happening. She had never experienced a panic attack anything like this. All at once she felt her body jolt and shake with shivers. Her cries became unwillingly loud and she couldn't control her self as everything became dark behind her opening and closing eyes. No more jolts of color. It was pure black.

"What the hell?" Was the first thing that she managed to blurt. Her breathing started to speed up, and her unknowing cries only escalated. Her body sunk into the blankets and she took shaky, drawn out breaths. She tensed her whole body as she looked up at the ceiling, blinking.

"I-I, you-I-" Chloe stammered, her breathing staying labored. Words couldn't be formed, thoughts were jumbled and everything was perplexed. Chloe started to wheeze as she laid on her back. Not knowing what else to do, and feeling her burning skin against her clothing, she knew she had to take some of it off. With Beca trying to calmly sit next to her, she shot up again and ripped her shirt and shorts off, leaving her in nothing but a sports bra and underwear. As she stood beside her bed, she leaned her torso over and set her hands on the mattress.

"I can't-" she wheezed and exhaled, closing her eyes, she coughed a few times, "breathe. Breathe, I can't."

"Just try, Chlo. Okay? Keep trying. You'll be okay."

Chloe nodded as she tried her best to breathe. It started to become easier, and once she felt the air flow, she laid back down slowly and curled into Beca's body, "Are you okay?" Feeling Beca's arms secure around her, she let out a small whimper, "Just please hold me and don't let go," Beca sat up momentarily, only to grab the blankets pooling at the end of the bed to cover the two. Once she secured the warmth she hooked her arms around Chloe and held her as tightly as she could without hurting her. She cradled Chloe for quite some time, casually running her fingers over her bare back, letting them linger time to time. Chloe's crying stopped totally. Her wet, puffy face being buried into Beca's neck and chest. As her breathing was not totally back to normal, but did dwindle down, Beca pulled back slightly, trying catch a glimpse of the redheads face. Chloe's eyes opened and Beca saw how blotchy they became. The cerulean eyes she knows so well were in so much pain and she had no clue why.

"I'm so sorry," Chloe breathed out as they became face to face.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Beca reassured with a whisper. She cupped Chloe's cheek and wiped her hot, wet tears as they began to fall again.

"I don't know what happened," Chloe voiced shakily, "I just woke up and-and I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt."

Beca nodded as she continued to try and sooth her. Chloe let out more shaky breaths, closing her eyes she said, "Can you just keep holding me?" The brunette said no words, letting the redhead fold her arms into herself and becoming a little ball, she wrapped her arms around her again. After a while, when Chloe's breathing did not slow down and when she was still shaking against Beca's body, she began to get worried. Why was Chloe freaking out so badly? What's causing this? She had no clue and it was deeply worrying her.

"Chloe," Beca said soothingly, she tried to back away so she could find out what was happening, but Chloe started to breath heavier, "don't go," she cried, tightening her arms around the brunette.

"Hey," she pacified as gently as possible, "I'm not. It's okay."

Chloe took shallow breaths as she squeezed her eyes tighter and tighter, holding on to Beca for what seemed like dear life. Beca stayed put, letting Chloe hold on to her. Light peaked in from the windows and Peanut began shuffling, trying to jump up on Chloe's bed.

"I don't know what to do," Chloe spoke, "make it stop," Beca was unsure of what Chloe meant, but with Peanuts yelps, she knew she wouldn't be able to, "I'm going to put Peanut outside of the room, okay?"

"Come right back."

"I will, just hold on," Beca reassured. She stood and quickly scooped him up in her arms and plopped him outside the door, telling him to 'stay.' She walked back in and sat back down on her side of the bed. As Chloe sat up with her, she hunched her body over and crossed her arms, "I feel like-like I can't breathe."

"Sit up straight," Beca said gently. Chloe did so, but winced and shut her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"My chest hurts. I seriously- I can't breathe."

"Just keep trying, okay?"

Chloe nodded with her eyes closed, she kept inhaling, then exhaling. As she repeated the process, her chest "loosened" and she could feel herself being able to breathe again, but her throat still felt slightly tight.

"Any better?"

"A little," Chloe squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take the deepest breaths she could. As she did, her throat did what her chest had and felt like it was opening up. Once she could breathe in totally, she laid back down and opened her eyes.

Beca followed Chloe's path and laid down. She propped herself on her hand as she turned to face the redhead, "Try and go back to sleep."

Chloe quickly shook her head, "No-no. I can't."

"It's six in the morning."

"I'll just," she paused, gulping as she thought about her answer, "I'll get up and feed Peanut. Uh, I can take him for a walk or something."

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah," Chloe breathed out shakily, she turned her body so she was mirroring Beca's, "I'll be okay."

Beca nodded. She let her spare hand brush the hair out of Chloe's face, then placed it on her back gently. The redhead closed her eyes momentarily due to the need for sleep still prevailing. As she did so, Beca scooted closer and kissed her forehead. Absently, Chloe started to slowly fall asleep since Beca began to softly rub her back. As Chloe felt herself slipping into unconsciousness, she fought to open her heavy eyes. Once the task was done, she rolled on to her back and sat up.

"Chloe, go to sleep."

"I don't want to."

"You need sleep."

"I'm okay."

Chloe stood and ran a hand through her hair before she tapped her bottom lip with her pointer and middle fingers, "I'm going to take a shower, feed Peanut and make some food."

Beca nodded, knowing that trying to convince Chloe otherwise was no use. The girl got dressed quickly. As she watched Chloe stumble out the door she heavily sighed, still wondering what had just happened.

* * *

><p>"Hyperventilation Syndrome."<p>

"Wha-what?"

"Your problem is linked to lack of oxygen. Hyperventilation Syndrome is another disorder that has been linked to causing and contributing to panic attacks. In fact, some believe that panic attacks cause hyperventilation syndrome to turn into its own separate condition. A condition that eventually triggers panic attacks. But in your case, and since you've been having these attacks for a while now, I'm making the educated guess that at night, your mind doesn't turn the switch of worry off, which only contributes to being able to still panic while you sleep. Thus, explaining the harsh breathing your body is doing, causing the result of the hyperventilation, throwing you into the panic attack."

"What?" Chloe said this time with wide eyes, "how-how do you know? It only happened once. What if it never happens again?"

"Well, then that is great. But, I'm furthermore diagnosing it as Hyperventilation Syndrome."

"But... it only happened one."

"It has to start somewhere."

Chloe nodded as she casted her eyes elsewhere. Every thought she could manage came rushing through her mind. It was a roaring of his voice, replaying the words over and over again. Her eyes started to fill with small tears that threatened to drip, but stayed put. She kept her head hung low and hands clasped on her lap.

"Do you need a moment?"

Chloe shook her head as the voice became a mere buzz, so he began speaking again. Eventually when he told her more information about the case; how to deal with it and the ways to decrease the attacks, he stated he would explain the three phases she has to go through for recovering furthermore.

"The first phase would have to be, re-establishing safety and stabilization. Similar to what you do at the scene of an accident or a fire with people who are physically injured. They must be moved to a safer place, physically, so that they can feel safe again, but first their injuries must be stabilized so they can be moved. With traumatic stress the same principle holds true, before working on or talking about what happened, people need to feel in control again. Talking about what happened before the person is safe and stable, or in control as you may say, can be re-traumatizing and can lead to people dropping out of therapy."

Seeing Chloe was not contributing, he jotted down a few notes as he observed her. It was clear to him that the hyperventilation syndrome diagnosis was going to be a set back in this recovery.

"The second phase is, de-sensitizing and processing the traumatic memories. This is where talking about what happened is more a part of the treatment. This allows for resolution; the memories become regular memories, not traumatic ones. You can speak about them with me, or someone who you trust. You have to speak truthfully, and be completely honest about your feelings and what has happened."

"The third and final phase is, reconnecting with family and friends and re-establishing the capacity to enjoy your lives and have fun again. At this point, the trauma should of become only part of your life, it's still there, but it's not all of you life."

* * *

><p>"Beca?"<p>

The brunette took her attention off the chicken roast she was quietly observing. After Chloe's session, the two walked back to Beca's and she decided she would attempt to cook them something besides pasta.

"What's up?" Beca said as she turned around. Seeing Chloe sat at the small table in the tiny kitchen they occupied, she took in the disheveled look in the redhead eyes, slumped posture and worry lines creased in her forehead. Chloe had not spoken about last night once. The redhead sat, blankly staring at the floor for most of the day that wasn't spent at therapy.

"I don't think I'm going to get better."

Beca slightly frowned, she glanced at the timer on the oven and noticed it had quite awhile until it needed to be taken out. She walked over to the table and sat down with Chloe. She set her hand on top of Chloe's and ran her thumb over the knuckles soothingly, "What do you mean?"

"Well, um-uh," Chloe took a shaky breath, "I just, I don't think I'm getting better," she lightly pursed her lips as her eyes started to tear for what felt like the hundredth time today, "what happened last night, my therapist said it's called Hyperventilation Syndrome."

Beca nodded, "What's that?" she carefully asked.

"He said it has to do with panic attacks and-and I guess it's because I'm not getting enough air. I-I don't really understand it," Chloe sniffled, but it was no use. She started to heavily cry. It was too hard to keep it in. The newfound information was digging into her brain and it wouldn't back down. The overwhelming urge to cry broke through and she squeezed her eyes shut as she covered her mouth with her spare hand.

Beca's face softened and her shoulders slumped. Seeing Chloe cry always made her feel terrible, and she felt equally as terrible that she wasn't as good as comforter as she needed to be. She stood and bent down so she could hug the broken redhead. As soon as Beca's body came into contact with Chloe's, the redhead clung onto her.

"Don't leave me. Please, please don't go."

"Hey, of course I'm not going to leave you."

"It's just," she paused as she sobbed into Beca's body, "everything is so hard. And I'm trying so hard, but nothing is working. I feel," Chloe started to sob slightly harder, causing her to lose track of her words, "like-like ee-vrything is-is, I feel like _shit_."

Beca rubbed Chloe's back soothingly, up and down over and over again, letting her cry and get all the pain she was feeling out. Chloe pulled back and wiped her eyes. She huffed and slumped her body over as she felt Beca's fingers running over her wet cheeks, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Beca. I don't know why this is happening. I mean, I felt like I was doing well. Really well. And-and, God. I fucking hate this. I hate them. I hate myself."

Beca kissed Chloe's tear stained cheeks gently as she rubbed the wet spots away soothingly, "I love you. You will get through this. I know you will. You're Chloe. The girl who forced me to be friends with her. The girl who got straight A's her first year of college because she worked her ass off day and night. The girl who I know will get through all of this, because you're _you_. And you, Chloe Beale, are the strongest person I know."

Chloe started crying again. She really couldn't help it. Her eyes were burning with tears and she puffed out a few breaths before she nodded, hoping that the words Beca spoke were true, because with each passing second, she was feeling less and less like this supposedly strong Chloe Beale.

* * *

><p>AN: Please let me know what you think. Thanks!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 - Donuts**

Chloes eyes narrowed as she examined her cup of steaming tea that was sitting across from her. The TV was on and the sound was rather loud, but Chloe was tuning it out. She sat alone on her couch, not really thinking, but not really dosing. She was just kind of... there. Sort of like everything was progressing and moving on, while Chloe was merely sitting in time.

The steam from the tea dwindled down, so Chloe went to take a sip. She reached out for it, and as soon as she picked the full cup up, Peanut jumped up on the couch. She slightly wavered, but luckily nothing spilled. He curled into her left side and while she took small sips, she unceremoniously weaved her fingers through his brownish-black fur.

The day was winding down, the sky was slowly getting shades of pink and soon the pink would be pitch black and then Chloe would have to keep herself awake. That became the routine she slowly had delved into the past month or so. Night would fall, Chloe and Beca would stay up together through the un-Godly hours of the morning, until Chloe's body simply couldn't take it anymore and passed out.

The redhead was becoming accustomed to it. This was becoming life, and life was becoming something she had to deal with, rather than live.

Beca had finally gone to that lunch with her fathers fiancée today. And needless to say, Chloe was pretty damn sure it hit the fan like the first "family" dinner. The brunette was supposed to arrive back at her apartment any time now, so Chloe decided she would sit on her couch and keep her eyes occupied on the small screen in front of her.

Chloe wasn't sure when it actually became dark outside, and she wasn't sure when she really finished her cup of tea, she wasn't even sure how many times she had watched another episode of this stupid reality show, but she was sure she missed Beca and she was positive that the brunette was ignoring her because the lunch failed, or something along lines.

It was a Monday. Monday meant Chloe had therapy, and today was her last session. She felt good; refreshed in a way. Sadly, Beca hadn't been able to attend with her due to her plans, and now Chloe had been sitting on the couch alone for close to five hours zoning out.

It took her almost that long to finish her cup of tea. How she managed to gulp it down once it hit cold, she doesn't know.

It was around ten minutes to nine when Chloe heard her phone chime. It took all her effort to be able to stand and get her purse so she could obtain her device. Once she did, she sleepily smiled as she read Beca's text that let her know she was in the elevator.

Just as soon as she finished reading, it seemed like Beca was walking through the door. She had Daffodils in her left hand and a smirk on her lips. Before she walked over to Chloe, she merely set the white flowers down haphazardly on the table.

"The woman gave me flowers as peace offering."

Chloe chuckled. "They're pretty."

Beca shrugged and began walking over to Chloe. She sat down next to her and immediately Chloe was curled into her left side.

"I missed you." Chloe mumbled into Beca's hair.

"What was that?" Beca asked.

Chloe pulled out of Beca's locks and pecked her on the lips.

"I missed you."

"I know, I would miss me too." Beca said.

Chloe narrowed her eyes playfully and she smiled.

"On second thought, maybe I don't miss you." Chloe retorted. What was meant to be dramatic, turned into hilarity as Chloe tried to stand, but tripped over Peanut as he sat at the foot of the couch, and landed in Beca's lap.

"I guess you missed me more than you thought."

Chloe glared. "You're pushing it, babe."

Beca smirked. "Babe, huh?" she wrapped her arms around Chloe's mid section as the girl hooked her legs on either side of her own legs.

"If you play your cards right." Chloe said, keeping her arms crossed.

"Don't I always?" Beca asked.

Chloe shrugged. "Not always. Like right now."

"Well, tell me what I can do to play my cards right, then."

Chloe nodded. She kept her arms crossed as she leaned in to Beca's lips. She kissed her gently, just barely letting her lips actually move with Beca's. As she felt the brunettes head bob forward to try and give into the action, Chloe pulled back.

"Nope."

Beca fake sighed. "But-"

"-No, buts."

Chloe did the same action, and this time she let her lips become in sync with Beca's. The brunettes tongue glided along Chloe's bottom lip, so she copied Beca and did the same motion with hers. Beca squeaked out a moan, so Chloe pulled back.

"Seriously?" Beca breathed out.

"I'm just messing with you. It's payback for not texting me until ten minutes ago." Chloe said, poking Beca's frown lines.

Beca sighed. "I'm _deeply_ sorry, my _one_ true love. I'll _never_ forget to text you again."

Chloe smiled in approval. "That's better! Now, let's get some donuts."

The redhead moved off of Beca's lap slowly and moved on to the couch.

"Donuts?"

"Yes. I want some right now."

Beca laughed. "Are you up for the walk? You look tired."

"That's my new look, tired and gross." Chloe said.

"You're not gross." Beca said.

Chloe smiled and pecked Beca's lips. She stood after she slipped her shoes on. "Now let's go get those donuts!"

Beca laughed as Chloe started walking as fast as her tired body would let her towards the door. Once she hit it, she turned and motioned for Beca to come with her. The brunette only chuckled and followed in Chloe's path, with slightly more awake legs.

* * *

><p>AN: For anyone who is still reading, I'm sorry for the lack in updates recently. I have just started in school again and I don't want to use it as an excuse, but it's hard to keep up with writing and school as most know. And last weekend, one of my closest friends passed away from cancer and I have been pretty bummed so writing hasn't been a priority the past couple weeks. I'm also sorry for this chapter being so short and just kind of bad, I whipped it up at five in the morning. I woke up and couldn't sleep and I also wanted some donuts :P anyway, that's enough excuses for today. Thank you to who ever is still reading this! And just a warning, there's probably not going to be that many chapters left.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 - I Guess We Can Try That **

Chloe slugged into the kitchen, her eyes struggling to stay open. She turned the coffee pot on and she was glad she poured the contents in the night before, because she really didn't have the energy to do anything besides press the button to turn the machine on. She eyed the dripping water momentarily before she heard a click which indicated that the coffee began to brew.

She heard Peanut yelp a bit as he trotted near her so she figured he wanted some food. After she had taken care of him, she noticed the coffee pot was steaming. She quickly turned it off so it could cool. She crossed her arms and wearily walked back towards the direction of her room. Since sleeping still wasn't a total possibility she had kept Beca up most of the night after they ate their donuts that Chloe insisted on buying.

She creaked the door open and half smiled as she saw Beca still curled up with the blankets molding her body. As she admired the brunettes sleeping form, Peanut did his thing and trotted into her room. Since he was most certainly not the size of a puppy now, it was a little harder to control him.

"Nooo." Chloe crooned chasing after him.

He hoped up onto Chloes bed and curled alongside Beca and Chloes face completely softened as she saw how content the two of them looked. She instantly went to grab her phone off the nightstand to take a picture because they just looked so damn cute and Chloe absolutely had to take a picture to savor the moment.

She lifted her phone and snapped a few quick pictures of the two. Though the shutter noise wasn't on, Beca stirred as if she knew Chloe was hovering beside the bed. Her sleep induced eyes hadn't taken the dog laying on her side until she tried rolling onto her stomach.

"What?" Beca mumbled, she squinted as she lifted her head and then realized Peanut was laying with her.

Chloe laughed and carefully sat in the edge of her bed. "Our little guy does love you, Becs."

Becas eyes fluttered open and closed a few times before she nodded. She laid her head back down sighed. "I guess I don't mind him."

Chloe smiled and then nervously sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. Seeing Beca so drained made her feel slightly guilty seeing as she was the reason.

"Beca?"

Becas eyes opened and she barely lifted her head in response.

"You know that I really appreciate you staying the night with me, right?"

Beca nodded and propped her head on her palm, held up by her elbow.

"Well, you don't necessarily have to." Chloe said. She noticed Beca looked confused so she decided to elaborate. "Because I keep you up and you don't deserve to not sleep just because I can't sleep."

Beca nodded and sat up with her eyes half open, she moved around the dog. She crawled over to Chloe and gently kissed her temple.

"I'm fine." Beca whispered.

"I don't want you to be tired-"

"-I'm fine." Beca repeated. She stroked Chloes cheek, but still saw the apprehension in her eyes.

"Hey," Beca cooed, she leaned forward and kissed Chloe reassuringly. "It's really not a problem. I work late anyway, so I can just sleep during the day while you're working."

Chloe jutted her lips to the side and nodded.

"But maybe-"

Chloe sighed as Becas lips came into contact with hers.

"Okay."

Beca laughed. "How much time until Aubrey comes to pick you up?"

Chloe looked to the bedside clock and noticed she actually had quite awhile.

"Forty-five minutes." Chloe stated. "Why?"

Beca shrugged and leaned forward, ghosting her lips over Chloes cheek. "No reason."

Chloe shivered. "I- oh." she breathed out, feeling Becas lips nip at her jawline. "I have to shower."

Beca pulled back and smirked. "Hmm. Never tried that before."

"Are you-you mean, shower?"

"Yes, Chloe. I've never showered before."

"That explains quite a lot."

Beca laughed. "I mean," she smirked again and pulled Chloe closer to a point where the redhead was leaning over her, "I've never taken a shower with anyone."

Chloes breath hitched and she was pretty sure her face was redder than her hair. The remembrance of her coffee and any apprehension went out the window as Beca began sucking down her neck.

"I guess we can try that."

Later that day Chloe was sitting with her head in her hands as she sat with papers in front of her. She had been okay with filling for the first few months, but now she was pretty sick of it.

She hadn't noticed Aubrey walk in and steady herself in front of her.

"Did something happen?"

Chloe looked up. "What?"

"With Beca."

Chloe nodded her head slightly. "Sort of."

Aubrey sighed. "Did you two fight again?"

Chloe laughed quietly. "Again?"

"I know these things." Aubrey stated. She pulled up a chair from her desk and sat in front of Chloe's smaller one. "What happened?"

"First of all," Chloe began, "We did not fight. At least not recently... she went to lunch with her dads fiancée yesterday and to me, she seemed fine. Did she say some thing?"

"She called Jesse during lunch crying." Aubrey rushed out. She knew Beca would probably be mad at her, but she couldn't keep it from Chloe.

Chloe's face softened. "What did she say?"

"Jesse said he couldn't understand her." Aubrey explained. "And once she calmed down, he said she hadn't wanted to repeat it."

Chloe nodded. "Yesterday she didn't want to talk about the lunch. But surely it couldn't have been that bad?"

Aubrey shrugged slightly. "You should call her. I know Beca, but not as well as you."

And with that Aubrey stood and walked out, which confused Chloe because this was primarily her office.

Chloe picked up a spare pen and tapped the end of it on the desk. She thought for a moment about what she would say to Beca. She figured she should call, but she didn't want to say the wrong thing. She eventually picked up her phone and went to call Beca.

It took a few rings, but she picked up.

"Hey."

"Hey, you." Chloe said, trying to sound cheery. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Kind of tired."

Chloe noticed Beca's monotonous tone and she couldn't help but frown.

"Why don't you sleep?" Chloe asked, now tapping the pen a little more forcefully.

Beca sighed. "Too much on my mind."

"Want to tell me about it?" Chloe asked gently.

"It's just stupid stuff." Beca brushed it off. "I'm probably just going to take the night off again."

"Okay." Chloe said. "Where are you, Bec?"

"My apartment. I stayed at yours for a while and I had fed the dog before I left."

Chloe tucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and dropped her pen. "How about I come over and I will cook you some dinner and we can just relax? And maybe if you want, we can talk about what's on your mind?"

It was silent for a few moments before Chloe heard a small, 'thank you'.

It had been about an hour and a half after their phone call when Chloe walked through Beca's door. She was immediately greeted with a hug, one that she hadn't felt from Beca since they had reunited if you will. She made Beca some macaroni and cheese Beca has stored in her cabinets; nothing special. (Mainly because Beca hadn't had anything more to make other than cereal and said macaroni and cheese.) And Beca really didn't seem different to Chloe, they had talked like normal. Nothing felt off.

Chloe was laying haphazardly with her head in Beca's lap as the brunette ran her fingers through Chloes hair.

"Beca?" Chloe whispered. She figured she needed to at least make an effort to see what was pestering Beca.

"Hmm?"

The redhead made an effort to lock her eyes with Becas.

"What happened yesterday?"

Beca shook her head and momentarily stopped her motions, then started again.

"Nothing. I told you, she brought me flowers and that was that."

Chloe's response came in the form of a sigh. She thought about how to go about this, or whatever this was.

She took a breath before saying, "Aubrey told me that you called Jesse today." she paused to look at Becas pink turning red face. "And she said you were crying."

Beca retracted her hand from Chloes hair.

"I don't-I don't want to talk about this, Chloe."

Beca began to try and slip away from the couch, but Chloes head made that move a little too hard, so she stayed in place.

Chloe continued to stare at Beca, not moving, and concentrating on nothing but Becas eyes, even if they were looking away from her. The redhead didn't coheres Beca into speaking, she was trying to give her all the time she needed.

And apparently it was going to take a long time.

Eventually, Chloes eyes became tired, so she started to slowly close them. Her eyelids fluttered open and closed though she knew she couldn't sleep. At one point she felt Beca start to run her hands through her hair again, which Chloe adored, but knew she had to stop because sleeping wasn't an option.

"Go to sleep." Beca whispered.

"Can't." Chloe mumbled. She sat up with closed eyes and pried them open so she could look at Beca. "Maybe if you tell me."

"You know that's not the reason."

Chloe shrugged. "It could be."

Beca sighed. "You have to promise not to think I'm stupid, childish, or overly sensitive."

Chloe skeptically nodded. She wasn't sure why Beca would think she would ever think that in the first place, but she would save that question for after the story.

"I promise."

Beca took a breath. It was a few moments before she actually spoke.

"It went okay."

Chloe waited or another moment but she said nothing.

"Okay?"

"It went smoothly. But she was very rude and I let it slide. And now I feel like the scum of the earth." Beca stated. "There."

Chloe sighed and she clasped her hands together and let them fall into her lap.

"Elaborate."

Beca sighed again and this time it took much less work for her to launch into the memory.

"Like I said, she gave me flowers. She had thought that daffodils were the so called, "lesbian flower" so she brought those. I didn't tell her it was actually lilies."

Chloe bit her lip to stifle a laugh, Beca saw and smirked. "You can laugh, it's pretty stupid."

Chloe chuckled momentarily before she saw Beca take another breath.

"And well, she practically asked me the same questions she had at the dinner. She she kept asking me about you. If we're getting married. If we're going to have kids. If we're going to invite people to our wedding, and if so, we need to be careful who we invite because we don't want to offend anyone."

"But it wasn't like she had a tone to her voice... she was speaking genuinely and-and I don't know, she didn't seem like she was purposely trying to be rude or-or hurtful... but she was."

Chloe nodded and took Becas hand into hers. She began drawing mindless patterns across her palm.

"I wasn't sure if I should've felt happy that she seemed to care, or upset because of the things she said. You know what she called you?"

Chloe's eyebrows involuntarily furrowed as she continued to try and sooth Beca.

"First off she asked me if I believed in God, and when I explained that I was indifferent, she said you were the, "temptation that will forever keep me out of heaven" and I should look into it."

Chloe laughed lightly. "Can't say I've heard that before."

Beca scoffed. "It pissed me off. And I was embarrassed, I guess? I don't know, she made me feel stupid. And I hate when people make me feel stupid."

"I know, I know." Chloe said gently. She laced her fingers with Becas and smiled reassuringly at her. "But you're not stupid."

Beca huffed. "I feel stupid."

Chloe tucked a few hairs behind Becas ear and kissed her cheek. "You're not."

"I'm sorry I told you I didn't want to talk about it... and I'm sorry I called Jesse instead of you. I know you've been stressed out, with not sleeping and all that, I didn't want to pour my problems into your full plate. And I just didn't want you to worry or feel bad for me and-"

"-Shhh. It's okay." Chloe whispered, cutting Becas rambling off.

"But I told you I wouldn't do that anymore-"

"-Beca."

"I'm sorry."

Chloe laughed. "It's okay."

Beca nodded. "You aren't mad?"

"I'm not mad." Chloe confirmed.

"We're not like, fighting?"

Chloe shook her head lightly and squeezed Becas hand.

"We're okay."

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><p><strong>AN:** Sorry for any errors, just really wanted to get this up before the weekend ended. Next chapter will be the last for sure, thanks for reading :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 - Chances**

Beca fixed her eyes on the expanding road in from of her. Her fingers tightened around the faux leather steering wheel, and her lips stayed in a tight purse. She could feel Chloe's eyes boring into the side of her head, but she trained her own eyes to stay on the road in front of her.

It was nearing dusk, and it was becoming rather dark, but Beca wanted to drive through the night, explaining to an apprehensive Chloe that staying in a motel would only keep her worried, and she wouldn't sleep anyway, so preoccupying herself with driving would be much, much better. And it wasn't like their destination was too far; only around three hours without traffic if they kept their pace.

Beca couldn't stop thinking about what the next few days would ensue. Tomorrow would be the wedding rehearsal (Beca wasn't actually sure, but she was assuming that's why they wanted her a day early) and then the next day was the not-so-exciting-wedding. She was nervous for everything.

As Beca mulled the same thoughts over and over, she felt Chloe tap her shoulder. She turned her head quickly, only to see Chloes face sporting the cutest damn look. And Beca had never been good at resisting Chloe's questions or requests when she looked at her like this; lips absently jutted and eyes glimmering, though Beca was pretty sure Chloe didn't even mean to look that adorable, it sure worked in her favor.

"Yes?" Beca asked while a smallsmirk was palpable. She had a feeling Chloe was becoming bored, because surely sitting in a car for hours on end was less than entertaining.

"I'm hungry."

"We _just_ ate."

"So? Tell that to my talking stomach!"

Beca glanced at Chloe and laughed lightly. She had always found amusement in Chloes vast appetite. She seemed to have a hollow leg, which Beca thought was a rather odd quality, but found it funny on Chloe.

"You're like a twelve year old boy when it comes to food, Chlo. Always need to be fed."

Chloe giggled. "I just want some ice cream, or like… candy! Yes, let's get some candy!"

Beca laughed at Chloes optimism and nodded.

"You want skittles, I assume?"

"Yes!" Chloes eyes went wide with joy and Beca was glad that at least someone on this trip was happy.

* * *

><p>Chloe rolled onto her side and immediately was met with a pile of brunette hair in her face. After blinking a few times she scooped the hair away from her and chuckled as she saw Beca's mouth parted and little puffs of air falling out with each rise and fell of her chest. Chloe glanced to the side and noted it was nearing eleven a.m.<p>

The pair were supposed to arrive at Becas fathers house in the early morning and as soon as they had settled in the guest room, Beca knocked out, which Chloe thought was rather funny seeing as Beca hadn't want to stop for the night.

This rehearsal was scheduled for noon, so Chloe knew she should wake Beca soon so they could get ready and what not, but Beca seemed so peaceful it was proving harder than Chloe originally thought.

She gently poked Becas shoulder and got no response. She then decided to slightly shake Beca and again got no response.

So she decided that she would cuddle up next to Beca and go from there. This option seemed much, much better.

"Wake up." Chloe whispered, gently kissing her cheek. She let her lips linger, softly brushing them away though it proved no avail as Beca only whimpered and turned her body into Chloe's. The absent smile on Chloe's face only grew as she realized Beca actually had indeed woken up as her arms tightened around Chloe's waist and she felt lips come into contact with her collarbone.

"I don't want to." Beca murmured.

"I know, but we have to." Chloe whispered, her chin resting atop Becas head.

The brunette retracted her head and threwit onto her pillow as Chloe stayed still.

"Can't we just blow it off?"

Chloe chuckled and leaned forward. She pecked Becas lips and slid her hand up Becas arm.

"Negative."

Beca groaned.

"Did you sleep at all?"

Chloe nodded. "I did, actually. I guess the therapist was right about the time thing."

(Referring to that fact that over time and the right breathing exercises that Chloe would be able to sleep for longer amounts of time, and even sometimes not waking up, Chloe had not woken up with any problems for the last few days.)

Beca smiled groggily. "That's great, Chlo."

Chloe smiled contently. "Okay, now get your cute butt up."

Beca groaned, longer this time.

"If you're good today, you'll get rewarded when we get home." Chloe said, and Beca swore her voice dropped an octave.

"Not tonight?"

"It's possible… but then you would have to be extremely quiet."

"Is this a bribe?"

"Of course, only if you behave."

It always thoroughly surprised Beca when Chloe made little innuendos. Now it doesn't need to be mentioned all that's changed, but she still couldn't rap her head around the fact that _Chloe Beale_ was so (still, possibly, though, Beca isn't sure if Chloe was always this sexual) damn good at this.

"Maybe if you show me a preview… I'll try to behave." Beca offered.

And suddenly Chloe hooked one leg over Becas waist and lips were on hers and hips were colliding and tongues were molding and then Chloe was standing and Beca was gasping for air as she watched the redhead pick up her suitcase and pull out some clothing.

"You'll behave, right?"

Beca deeply sighed and bit down on her lip. "I think I'm going to have to."

* * *

><p>It was done. Everything was official and oddly enough, Beca wasn't feeling as ambiguous as before. Her father seemed happy, as well as her "step-monster". She only hoped what she was witnessing was true.<p>

Beca and Chloe sat at a reserved table with Brooke (who Beca grew fond of over the last few days, realizing that she was definitely nothing like her mother) and Beca was nursing some champagne that she initially thought was disgusting while Chloe held apple cider.

The newlyweds were dancing as everyone watched, though Beca was more intrigued with the pleased look on Chloe's face more than anything.

The redhead really did look perfect to Beca. She had her hair in her usual loose waves and her makeup was as simple as could be; mascara. Her lilac dress she choose to wear (it actually went along with the color scheme of the wedding which Beca thought was secretly adorable that Chloe had done that) fit her wonderfully.

Beca had chosen a white dress because white went with everything and she didn't want to screw anything up. She had a tiny penchant for that it seemed.

The song came to a halt, which Beca hadn't realized was _My Eyes Adored You_ by _The Four_ _Seasons_. She was happily surprised the choice wasn't something more cliché, one of those sappy love songs that everyone danced to at their wedding.

Chloe turned her head and smiled warmly at Beca.

"I think everything will work out just fine." Chloe stated, looking between Brooke and Beca.

Brooke smiled, nodding slightly. "I'm going to go talk to my cousins." she stated, before standing and walking off.

Beca cleared her throat, suddenly feeling flustered. "Thank you for being here."

Chloe smiled and let out a breath as she picked Beca's hand up and intertwined their fingers out of habit. "I'll do anything for wedding cake."

* * *

><p>Everyone said good night to each other once they hit the house, though Beca and Chloe decided on going out back for a while just enjoying the night sky that they rarely got to see.<p>

The two were sat at a spare table that had been left from the rehearsal the day before, one sat on each side, saying nothing as they looked at the stars painted throughout the sky. Suddenly, Chloe stood up and sat on the grass about five feet away from the table. Beca watched momentarily, unsure of what the redhead was doing, but eventually stood and plopped down next to her.

Neither said anything. It didn't seem like anything needed to be spoken. Though this was cliché and seemed a little overrated in Becas mind, each time she glanced over, tearing her eyes away from the sky, her heart skipped a beat seeing the simplistic look on Chloe's face.

Her eyes glistened, and her cheeks had a rosy tint to them. She admired how breath taking Chloe looked in that moment and something came over her. She wasn't sure if that was the night sky, the peace and serenity of being surrounded by nothing but trees and a wooden fence, or if it was the simple fact that Beca could actually feel how deeply she loved Chloe peeking through, but she needed to exclaim how she felt about her.

She was oddly nervous. Ever since early this morning, she has had this tingly feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't been this nervous to explain her feelings to Chloe since she revealed how she really felt and said, '_I love you'_. It wasn't like Chloe's reaction would change, she wasn't going to be grossed out, she wasn't going to not reciprocate, nor would she lie about her answer.

But for some reason saying those three words felt different right then.

Beca trained her eyes on the side of Chloe's head, and re-memorized each and every freckle on the visible part of her face, along with a few small thought lines etched across the side of her forehead.

She blushed as Chloe turned her head, the most innocent look draping over her features. Beca nervously bit her lip and looked down.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Chloe gently asked, she scooted closer, so their knees touched.

Though it was nearing dusk, the illumination from the lights outside lit up the yard and each girl.

Beca chuckled breathily, afraid she was going to say something dumb. "You're just… I don't know. You're-you're…" she looked up, seeing Chloe with a tiny smile aimed at her and she blushed even more due to her own flustered state. "You're Chloe. And it's crazy that you're here. I can't believe you actually agreed to come to this what I thought was going to be travesty of a wedding and you've been so gracious the whole time. You're the sweetest person I've ever met."

Chloe only leaned forward and connected their lips. In the process she had pushed Beca over, her back coming into contact with the plushness of grass and the hardness of a few small rocks. (Beca couldn't possibly mind the jagged objects poking her back as the feeling of Chloe's lips was serious bliss.) Chloe pulled away and kissed the corner of Beca's mouth before sitting up, pulling the brunette along.

"I love you a lot."

"I love you a lot, too."

Chloe was pulled down onto the grass, her body becoming adjacent to Beca's as they laid together. Their hands were intertwined at their sides, their heads nearly touching.

Chloe took in a large, peaceful breath.

Everything felt right.

Chloe may still have a lot of recovering to do. She may still have yet again another dreaded set back, even a few relapses mixed in. But she had Beca. And no, it's not like Beca can magically remove all the problems and all the terrible things that have been said and done; but she's there for Chloe. And Chloe is well aware that she always will be.

It felt like hours before either said anything. Chloe had actually thought the brunette had fallen asleep, which would've been rather funny seeing as they were in their dresses.

"I'm glad you were so stubborn and made me play hide and go seek with you, Chloe Beale." Beca whispered, her hand tightening around Chloe's.

"And I'm glad you decided to take a hide behind the chalk board, Beca Mitchell." Chloe whispered back.

Chloe would always be thankful that she decided to sit next to the pouting little girl the first day of pre-school, made her play hide and go seek with her and even went as far as to slap her for eating her animal crackers. Chloe Beale was absolutely grateful she met Beca Mitchell at the age of four, and thanked whoever was up there for making Beca be the one who eventually kept her going.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So there it is. I'm sorry for taking such a long time with this update and all that. Again, thank you for reading the story and sticking with this when updates became few and far between.


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